Varsity Commitment - 9. Chapter 9 The Straight Truth Hurts

I was so upset during the JV game on Thursday night. Seeing Kenton sitting with Saleen was so bothersome. He told me ‘What’s up,’ when we made eye contact but I didn’t speak back. The sight of Saleen with him was messing with me.

She doesn’t deserve Kenton. What was she thinking? What Was, She Thinking?

Steam and hot gas began to cloud me. I was two minutes from blacking out when Saleen left to go talk to a few of her JV friends, I decided to strike!

“Kenton!” I called moving up the stands. I sat down beside him. His hair was flowing down, and his shades were perched on the top of his head.

“What’s up Brice.” He greeted me. His skin was so moisturized, and lovely a hazelnut brown making it hard for me to stop looking at him with twinkles in my eyes. He had an amazing scent coming from his clothes or his hair, couldn’t tell. I couldn’t tell if it was the tangy scent from a shampoo, or cologne.

I sat there studying his grape fruit colored lips, as each syllable passed out his mouth during our talk. “Nothing, I’m just bored.” I told him,

“I bet you are bored. I know I am.” He agreed with me. “This is a JV game. Nothing interesting ever happens. Especially since I’m not out there.” he said emotionlessly.

“I have to agree with you there,” I looked at the football players on the field running a play. “and their JV cheerleaders, look like puke and diarrhea mixed together.”

Kenton laughed openly covering his face snickering. “Brice…” he tried to say. “Dude, oh my god.” He kept laughing. “You are crazy fool! You are always talking smack about people.”

I gave a delighted expression. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not a bad thing, it’s a funny thing.” He grinned showing his perfect teeth. “Entertaining too.” He bumped me with his elbow. I was getting some type of clicking in my body. Like a lighter trying to flick a fire.

I ignored it. Remembering what I came here to do.

“Thanks Kent, but I have something to ask you.” I prompted. Trying to suck all his attention on me. I wanted to keep Saleen far away from him as possible.

“Ask me.” he said, with deep sincere eyes. I tried not to buckle. I had to press forward with my goal.

“Why are you talking to Saleen? Why is she all close to you now?”

“Oh I wasn’t talking to her, she was talking to me.”

“Remember what I told you about her.” I replied, I was persuading him to see her as unfit and stinky. All I could think in my mind was ruin, ruin, ruin.

“Yes. I remember. Don’t worry; she can’t have any of this.” He stopped to point at his body.

“Good. Because I heard something else about her.” I continued, aiming to kill. I was going to make sure Kenton sees she was worthless.

“What? What? Tell me!” he peeped with eagerness. Swinging his hair he exposed his ear, and brought it close to my mouth.

This was a clear sign that he was ready to hear what lies I had to feed. Before I could mouth a word in his ear, a tangy scent effortlessly streamed over me. It was so strong now. Playing it cool, I whispered softly into his ear. “Have you noticed: It’s a JV game and she is not cheering?” he nodded, keeping his ear engaged to my whisper.

“The reason she isn’t cheering with the JV squad today is because she ruined her uniform.” I lied harshly. I didn’t care either. The truth was Saleen couldn’t cheer because her grades were dropping to failing, and she had to pay a one-hundred fifty dollar book fine, all due to me taking her text books.

“How!” Kenton busted out.

His hair accidentally slung, grazing over my face. From here I was able to touch his hair without him knowing. So while whispering in his ear, I was rubbing my fingers through strands of his hair. “She ruined her uniform the coach told her she couldn’t cheer because her uniform had stains in it, and it stinks very loud.”

“Eww, that is nasty!” he said disgustedly. “I knew there had to be a reason she wasn’t cheering.” All I could do was smile and nod. My work was finished.

“Yeah that is why I was so surprised to see her sitting by you. Talking to you, and stinking up your area.” He was actually buying my story. It was such an amazing feeling, and for some reason I didn’t feel the need to stop there. Saleen had more coming her way.

When I saw Saleen about to make her way up to the stands again, I dropped back a few bleachers, to where I sat earlier. I watched from my seat at my plan of separation at work.

Throughout the game Saleen tried to talk to Kenton, but he got up and left. When he came back to sit, and she was still around he found small petty excuses to get away from her. Often his face would frown up as if he was imagining that he could see her underwear, or smell some odor on her.

While he was in a haste to leave her, he left his phone sitting there where he sat. When I looked up and saw it was his phone another moment of vicious scheming crossed my mind.

When Saleen left she didn’t notice the phone laying there. It was in plain sight. Waiting for me to make my move. I went up the stands trying not to be obvious, and I picked up the phone. Holding his phone, I knew my next scheme to be, would be nothing less than brilliant.

The next day was game day. I had my cheer uniform on. Being that this week we were having an away game our uniforms had mostly gold and less black stitched in the fabric.

Sitting on the bus, I still felt superior. Like nothing could touch me, no one could achieve my level of accomplishments. Waking up to game day, I felt even more so superior than last week. Varsity does that to you, wearing a uniform does that to you… I think, or maybe Kenton does.

Come to think of it. I still have Kenton’s phone!

Last night, at the JV game he was losing his mind trying to find his phone. It got crazy, and knowing that I had the phone I sat there silently watching him losing his cool on Saleen and everyone near where he sat. It was a sight to marvel in.

Kenton got so mad at one point that he tried to hit Saleen, because he thought she stole it. If it wasn’t for Bram coming around at that time, she would have been knocked out onto the football field. When I saw him at this stage of madness, I thought it would be the perfect time to play ‘The helper’.

I was helping him look for his phone before he started going off on this older couple threatening to hit them. His anger got the best of him and he had to be escorted out the game. All because of his phone was stolen.

Saleen kept texting his phone. She kept calling, trying to be mushy and sad. Too bad I had the phone. She was trying to apologize but Kenton would never ever know it. I decided to text her a ruthless message back.

Kenton: Don’t talk to me you nappy headed ho! Wash your clothes, and your body! Stop talking to me, stop calling me! You stink! Stop stinking up everyplace you go! I look too great to be with a zit face iguana!

She was so dumb! I blocked her number from his phone. Then to cover my tracks I deleted all the messages sent and received. I was scary good at getting people back.

When the game ended, Bram and I went to find Kenton. When we met up at a fast food place, Kenton was still fuming. I took the opportunity to push him a little more over the edge by telling him Saleen stole his phone. Then I added, ‘she was stalking him and she has been mad because he kept walking away from her all night’.

This definitely put him against her if he wasn’t before. I warned her, that war with me is something you don’t want.

The bus was being bumpy, and noisier. I could barely keep my mind on the grand scheme I committed last night.

Shortly after a few stops, Bram came sitting next to me on the bus. His jersey was right next to my uniform. This time he had a gold jersey with black numbers. (The colors for the away game tonight.)

He sat next to me only this time we were touching. His forearm was touching mine. Even though it was accidental, I couldn’t help but admire the warmth of his texture. Our skins connecting was a mind blowing feeling. The texture of his honey wheat color, was infectious and softer than it looked. It was one touching connection that I wanted to hold in place forever.

It wasn’t long after he sat down that he handed me his ear phone. “Here, I want you to hear something.”

As shocked as I was, I wanted to hear his style of music. I took the ear phone. “What is it?” he didn’t answer me. He just pressed a few buttons on his mp3 letting the song play.

“Just listen. You don’t get to talk.” he said smiling deeply at me. “I got a taste of your style of music, so it’s my turn to give you a taste of what I like.”

“Alright.” I was burning up with a shy fever. It broke out all over me. Under my skin somewhere was a blush like no other. I couldn’t believe that we were back in tune with each other, except this time it was his music doing the connecting.

“I want you to listen closely because every song I play has some kind of meaning.”

I heard his music, I’m not a fan of R&B, but since it was him playing the songs I could see myself changing my mind.

In English, Kenton had his number ‘27’ jersey on. His nostrils looked to be flared. Today he had his hair in braids. No matter how you do his hair, you couldn’t rob him of his zest. I acted innocent and concerned for him at the sight of his tighten face.

Getting closer, and closer, I fed off his lusty firm body. Patting his back to comfort him. At the same time he was talking so cruel about Saleen. He was basically saying he hated her, in other words: I felt so glorious in my moment of light. Everything I planned is working!

When I knew Saleen was stained in Kenton’s eyes, I finally decided Kenton could have his phone back. He had been a good boy criticizing Saleen harshly. I got him to feel how I felt. Now she could never have him and thanks to my conniving, careful planning. This whole situation won me time, touching moments with Kenton. Saleen had only brought us closer.

I handed Kenton his phone. He was struck like it was a heaven sent moment. His face began to untighten with surprise.

His anger subsided. “Thank you, thank you man!” There was a great amount of affection in his tone. The situation with Saleen should be over, but I still had one more conniving lie to sell him. You know, to keep him on my side. I would hate for him to put two and two together.

“You are welcome.” I patted his back, before he could ask me ‘how did you get my phone?’ I went into telling him. “I had to steal your phone back from her, you know?” I covered my tracks. It was not easy… “I can’t believe she got so mad that you didn’t want to be around her, that she stole something of yours just to make you come around her again.” He just nodded his head thinking about what I was saying, and checking his phone. “She is a true scallywag, and a stalker. What kind of person would do something like that?”

Leaving English never felt that good. When the class ended, I headed to my locker. I always have to make a locker stop after English because I had to get my next book for my next class.

Pulling my book from my locker, I felt something tap me on the shoulder. My fingers lost its grip on the book and it began to wobble from my hands, nearly falling on the floor. Using my reflexes from cheer practice I was able to regain my hold of the book and balance it back in my hand.

When I felt the tapping again I swung my head around, it almost smack the opening of my locker.

There it was, a smile greeting my vision. I was feeling a little weird standing there, because I was on the verge of being a clumsy idiot with my book in my hand.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Bram brightened his smile. He laughed at me for a little. He knew he caught me unaware. “I came by because… you know its game day and I’m going to need some inspiring words.”

My heart started to pound against my rib cage. The whole hallway became fuzzy. Everything was blurry except Bram. The second week, and Bram comes to me for inspiration! I was going to lose it!

Thinking of something fast I threw out. “You’ve got to want it… to win it.” it wasn’t too magnificent but It was at least words to aid him on the field. I would rather give him a little something rather than nothing at all.

“Thanks.” He scratched his head still smiling and looking at me. I don’t know, maybe it was my uniform that had him unable to say what was on his mind. Maybe my words for inspiration were too few.

The good thing is: he still knew to come to me when in doubt. They better beat the bulldogs tonight. Since everything was awkward with us two standing there in front of my locker, locked in a stare down. I wanted to voice what I said in my head. “Make sure you rip those bulldogs apart tonight.”

“Oh… we definitely will.” He replied. “Winning against them is nothing… but what I want to talk to you about is-“

At that moment. That very moment. I could have broke. My world rotated left, and everything shattered in my face.

“Bram, Come here.” A voice called out. Interrupting Bram from telling me something that seemed important. When I heard the sound of the voice, it did sound familiar. When I saw who it was… that’s what blew my reality to smithereens.

It was hard. I was trying to keep my composure, but it was hard. When did those two start talking?

“Ok.” He shouted back to Melissa. Then looking at me, “I’ll catch you later.”

Just like that clouds began to droop over me. I had lost my smile, I lost my feelings, I had lost my…Bram.

How could she! How could she go around me? She can’t have him! HE ISN’T HERS!

When he left me and ran to where Melissa was, I was crushed beneath the floor. Standing there alone at a loss of everything, with nothing to say.

I watched them together. They laughed and giggled, flirted, hitting each other playfully. How on earth can he be happy with… her?

She is so, not my friend anymore. She has crossed over into my territory. I should have been focusing more on Bram not getting with Melissa than Saleen not getting with Kenton.

No, this can’t end this way. Melissa there has to be something did about you. Like I said, ‘Don’t expect a fair fight. I will backstab, and do cut throat things to win.’

I went to my next class. My insides were feeling heavy with despair. My mind was lost in questions. All I could feel was sorrow singing from the inside of me, making me sadder in a day that had already went black.

Bram please close her out. Don’t give her our time. Stop talking to her and see me for who I am.

All through the day, I kept seeing Bram talking to Melissa in the halls. It was like, he was finding time to talk to her in-between classes. I felt defeated at the sight of them. The density inside my broken heart made my weight heavier.

It made me wallow in a sad pool of sorrow.

Every time they talked or touched it stung me in random places, that’s how bad it hurt.

My friend Levi was being so annoying about Bram and Melissa. He was not helping the situation at all. He kept saying how: ‘Melissa wanted to thank me for getting Bram to talk to her.’ even though I did no such thing. I took false credit for it, Pretending to be happy was the best way to go.

I caught Melissa by herself after she ate a gleeful lunch with Bram. I had to do something, I had to act now. I can’t let her win.

“Hey Melissa.” I waved at her. When I had her attention I went in for the kill, and the steal. “I see you and Bram everywhere now.”

She bounced with excitement at the mention of his name. “Yes. He is sweet.” She put her hands to her chest and cradled her head. “I can’t thank you enough for getting him to talk to me. That is all I needed and now we are almost like a couple. Oh and thanks again.”

“Oh what are friends for.” I lied faking to celebrate. I really wanted to slap her in the face until she turned red. “But don’t move into a relationship too quick with him.”

“Why is that?” she gullibly chimed.

“Because I have to warn you about him, because he is my friend and so are you. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt. “

“Tell me. What is it?” she begged.

“Don’t tell him I told you this, but Bram is dating someone already.” I wickedly added. “It’s some girl from out of town.” I told her trying to sound guilty. “I hate to spoil things but he has been with that girl for a year.”

I knew I had to create some form of damage. Something so bad that it would contaminate her happiness with him.

Her mouth dropped. Her face went pale, losing every ounce of blush. I had her right where I wanted her. I told her lots of things to taint her like: how he isn’t looking for a relationship, and how she might not be his type.

I know my words of choice were insensitive, crude, and diabolical, but I had to do something. Who ever said I was playing by the rules? Remember all is fair in love and war. My game plan was already starting its commotion.

My scheme was working… Divide ’them’ and conquer ’him’.

I wasn’t done yet. Oh no! Not by a long shot. I met up with Bram before the pep rally feeding him some false information. I had to manipulate to keep what I wanted. These forces of what I’m doing are keeping me from giving up.

I told Bram that Melissa didn’t like him, ‘she likes Trent White.’ That she was pregnant for someone and she didn’t know who the dad was. She is only looking for a guy to put the child on so she can get him for child support.’

Then he stated to be concerned and ask questions like: “Shouldn’t her stomach be big? Wouldn’t she be out of cheerleading?”

I had to make something up to fit in the missing pieces. I had no idea he was actually going to question me about my story. So I told him ‘she wasn’t showing because it had only been a month, and he cheer coach said she could cheer this game but not the next game.’

I know I went over board, but I will do extra work to make my stories believable.

At the game I wanted to flat out murder Melissa. She was standing there screaming out, ‘Go 88!’ it was annoying. She yelled Bram’s number over and over out loud. Whereas I, could only say it in my head. She still liked him despite what I told her. That was the most annoying thing about it all.

Oh well… I can’t give up there. I see there’s more work to be done.

The game finally ended. The bulldogs won. I didn’t care, because I wasn’t in the mood for that.

We had a long trip on the bus back to Windlewood. I was so confused, and lost. I didn’t want to lose Bram. I truly didn’t! I just got him talking to me recently. I can’t lose him to Melissa. I fear that all those great times he could spend with me, may be taken by her.

I really don’t want her to have his presence around her. If she felt the way I felt when he came around she… ugh! I can’t even explain it right now I’m so mad. It was happening anyway, and I was running out of plans to keep them away from each other.

The next week it only got worse. This time Bram was talking to Melissa. They ate together at breakfast and lunch. He walked her to class. They flirted with one another, and the look in their eyes, something was… was there!

Levi kept talking to me but I wasn’t listening to him. Anyone who supports Bram and Melissa having a relationship isn’t on my side. Right now I feel like I am against the world!

My plans blew up in my face. I worked hard but I couldn’t keep these two from falling for each other. I knew it was over when Bram told me himself that, ‘He and Melissa were dating.’ It was so tragic.

The first time in weeks, Bram finally dialed the number he wrote on his arm that day after practice. Just to throw a poisonous sword through my heart. Breaking me down to useless, pitiful, grains of hopeless dirt.

He was so happy to call me on the phone and tell me how great his relationship was with her. How good of a person she was… everything was hard to hear, but I stayed there absorbing agony, hurt, and other forms of sadness I had never experienced. Holding this in, was harder every time we talked.

I didn’t want to accept his life with Melissa but I had to. I didn’t want to hear the poisonous words that stung my flesh but I had to. Because it was happiness for him, so I had to feel the poison quietly.

I didn’t want him to know my private feelings. So I had to sacrifice myself, breaking down each day they ate together, each day they shared a laugh… all the way to each day they held hands.

I felt cold jabs hit my heart everyday. It got so bad to where I had to swallow the frost in my throat. I have to learn to live with Bram. I had to accept that he was a straight male, Getting myself involved emotionally would be a big mistake.

‘ Bram is straight,’ I told myself, ‘and he is happy with Melissa.’