Varsity Commitment - 17. Chapter 17 Same Team

Before I could take two steps, there was an engine roaring down the street. I was just about to come from behind the apartment building when a car emitting intense light shined.

I could only stand there, when the car lights shut out, and the door slammed.

   …

I really didn’t feel like dealing with-

“Stay right where you are.” Bram came rushing from the car like the wind.

No need to rush now. He was late as ever, and he left me.

I was caught. I folded my arms and leaned against the brick building. I hate that he popped up on me before I could figure out a way to deal with him.

Sprinting over to me he wore a gray muscle shirt and a pair of dark solid black jeans. I waited to hear what he had to say, because I had some crucial words for him.

“I tried calling you.” He panted for quick second almost catching his breath instantly.

I didn’t respond to him.

At that moment he knew something was wrong. He walked closer to me, “When you told me you walked home it scared me.” He knew I was avoiding him. He gripped my arms which were folded and shook me a little, being meaningful. Trying to get my attention like he cared. I know he didn’t care. It was the total opposite. This was all his fault!

“Whatever.” I snapped at him. “Don’t play like you care. You left me!”

“Left you?” He made a confused face. His auburn colored eyes pretended to be lost.

“Oh, cut the crap.” I gave him a daring stare. “You left me at the stadium looking stupid. Don’t play dumb.”

“Wait a minute.” He said in a misunderstood way. “You didn’t leave-“

I didn’t want to hear him make excuses so I interrupted, “Wait for what?? For you to leave me again? For you to try to get back at me? Wait for what?”

“Hear me out.” Bram raised his hands to calm me in an innocent gesture. His muscles through his muscle-shirt showed his chest. Every chiseled line in his torso was visible. Every move he mad he accidentally flexed something. “Hold on Brice…You didn’t leave the game with Levi?”

“No dummy! Otherwise I would not have walked home. Plus Levi and I aren’t friends.” I vented angrily avoiding his continuous attempt to make eye contact. “You knew that but you saw me and still drove away.”

He moved closer to me, trying to make sure he took every word I said. His eye brows furrowed with concern. “Come on. Me drive away? Why would I do that Brice?”

He really was trying to sell me this story, but I am not buying it. “Why wouldn’t you do that? Oh, maybe it was payback, or… or maybe it was because of that stuff with Melissa. Whatever the case maybe, it was your way of getting back at me.”

“What?” He looked taken back. “I don’t do the revenge thing Brice. If I tell you I am going to pick you up after the game, count on that.” shaking his head, he let out a sigh as if he wasn’t getting anywhere with me.

I could not believe him. I didn’t want it to be true. “Well you said it, and it didn’t happen.” While I was talking the tips of Bram’s fingers touched my elbow, but I steered my body from his grasp with a mighty jerk. “I don’t want to be around you anymore! I can’t stand you! I don’t even want to look at you!”

“You don’t mean that do you?” his eyes showed a sign of something breaking. “I had no part in this. Don’t throw away our years of friendship over this misunderstanding.”

“Oh, I understand perfectly!” I didn’t care if he hurt or not. It was his turn to feel some of my pain. “You left me there to die! Do you know how dark it was? Do you know I was freezing out there?”

He wiped his face with his hands in frustration, “I know, I know, and I am sorry you had faced that alone.”

“I wasn’t alone after Kenton came to save me.” I rubbed it in his face.

“Kenton?” Bram’s whole posture went from good guy to a something totally different. “Wait a minute.” His curious honey wheat skin on his face scrunched. He was putting together his next words. “There’s the problem.” He went on, knowingly. “Kenton told me in the locker room that you rode off with Levi. So I felt like there was no need for me to rush out.” Bram cleared the air.

I was blank. I didn’t have anything smart to say or think of. It was like I was on mars, and everything I thought I knew, was not true.

“Kenton? Kenton told you that?” It came out in a shattered tone. Images of Kent formed in my head. I remember he had something to tell me but wouldn’t say it… but it wasn’t this.

Why would Kenton do that? Play with my life then play like the hero?

Then I remembered how he kept on apologizing for no reason… Was that why? Because this was his doing?

“I know it is weird, but yes he told me that.” Bram nodded.

This changes everything! Once again Kenton saved me just to hurt me. I felt so betrayed and awful. Kenton would not do this. Bram was lying!

“No I don’t believe that! Kenton wouldn’t do something like that. You are lying your way out of this.” I said catching on to him. I really didn’t want to think Bram was telling the truth even though his eyes told me it was the truth. “Kenton was the one who brought me home after I almost got killed.” I stated confused.

Why would he lie? Why would he play a game like that?

“Kenton lied to us both… I don’t know what he was doing.” Bram told me out of pure notion. “Maybe he didn’t want us being friends, or he wanted the attention, I don’t know.” He took a deep breath, before taking on the next topic. It looked to be the thing that bothered him. “So tell me what happened to you? You keep saying you almost died. What is that about?”

My anger was redirecting from Bram to Kenton. The part that left me stumped is: I was mad at Bram for some unexplained reason. He wanted to know, so I had to tell him, since he was innocent.

I began to breakdown. Shoving my anger to the side briefly to open up to Bram about my walk home. I told him how lonely I was, how dark things had become. I told him how much I wanted every car I saw to be him coming to get me. Then I told him about the old creep that almost killed me.

Bram shot a look of worry, “Next time something like this happens, call me!” He demanded. “It doesn’t matter if I am mad at you that day or not.” Hidden in the root of his words was the emotion of compassion. My heart dropped in my chest. “I will never let something like that happen to you. Do you hear me?”

I nodded my head, agreeing with his generous heart. I didn’t want to shed a tear in front of him so I lowered my head a little until my eyes didn’t want to fill with water. True and strong feelings of sympathy exuded from his masculine beauty. I could tell he didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did.

My voice wanted to choke like thorns were in them, but I let it break free. “I-I-I… I thought you were getting revenge or playing a joke on me.”

“Brice. Oh my god, you know me better than that.” his hand on his forehead. “I am not like that.”

“I see that.” I felt a little guilt covering my shoulders. As my friend I should have known Bram better than to do something like this.

“It’s bad enough I almost lost my best friend tonight.” Bram added in shock. His muscles were so seductive and viewable in the low lit street light. “After I deal with Kenton, that old creep is going to get it!”

“Don’t worry about it. I will handle them in my own way.” I said hoping to put him at rest.

“You know what, I do feel like this is my fault.” He said kicking the grass below. His face had sorrow plastered on it. “I shouldn’t have listen to Kenton in the first place. I should have checked on you myself.”

After hearing him beat up himself, I lightened up on him. “You are innocent. Stop saying that. You didn’t know.” I put my hands in my cheer jacket’s pockets. Squinting my eyes as a wind blew. “The important thing is: I am alive… I guess it wasn’t time for me to die yet.” I made a joke about it, but wasn’t able to laugh. Neither was Bram.

Bram looked at me for a long fixed time. Never moving his eyes away. He looked to be considering the words I just said. “I am sorry this happened.” He stepped closer to me with his arms held out, as if he wanted a hug. “I want to make this all go away, and make it better for you.”

Without my approval, he snagged me into a hug! I didn’t have any time to prepare or protest against his hug. It just happened.

The entire time he hugged me, I kept my arms folded. I refused to let his body too close, it was almost like a trap. I had to keep my arms up as a guard.

If he could read the words of my heart he would back up soon. This was not safe for me.

Bram unwrapped his arms from around me, looking down at my folded arms. “Why the folded arms? You still don’t trust me?”

I didn’t answer him back. It was not a trust issue. It was that: I didn’t know how I would react to him being right against me. I had a feeling I would flip out and do something stupid.

“Don’t resist me Brice.” He was telling me in a relaxed natural tone. Even his voice was seducing me to do something crazy to him. He was blowing my mind!

Bram needs to back up. Seriously!

“Stop it.” He warned me in a whispered voice that was low and slow. My ears rattled with heat. I shut my eyes trying to make him go away, or to wake up if I was dreaming.

He said ‘stop’ again, only this time he pulled my arms down and then around his slim flexed body. Wrapping his lean arms around me, he laid his head snuggly on my collar. I could feel myself shivering from him being so close, and touching me.

My body was about to scream, and I was scared Bram was close enough to hear it.

“I made a promise, not to put my hands on you in a hurt or harmful way ever again.” he whispered tickling the ends of my soul. He then tightened his arms on me, making my body press against his with no space between. “I don’t have any intention betraying that promise.” He was holding me in an even warmer embrace.

His body temperature was just enough to keep the winds of the night from coming through my cheer jacket. When he kept holding on to me a tear formed. I looked up to keep it back and saw how the purple sky had made a few stars twinkle down on us.

The night was quiet surrounding us. It was as if everything around us had to respect what was going on at this moment. It was a sign of friendship, and a promise.

One that no man could break.

He pulled the hug halfway loose so that there was a small gap between our linked arms. I still held on to him. I could not let him go. There was no more parts of me resisting him. My guard was completely down.

His loving auburn eyes made contact, breaking through to my own. “Does this make you feel better after what all you been through tonight?”

I just smiled and nodded.

“The thought of losing you forever, messed with my head on the way here. When you text me I threw these clothes on and rushed to come see you.” He thoughtfully told me, his jawline was angled and clinched.

Bram went back to fully hugging me. The direct contact we shared was like my soul finding its other half. This is the comfort I needed. This was what I deserved. Especially in my life or death situation.

“Bram.”

“Hmmm?”

“I am sorry,… for everything.” I confessed whole heartedly to him. “The lies, the anger, the revenge, all of that crap… if you knew how I-“

“Its’ okay.” He stopped me before I told how I truly felt. “All is forgiven.” His mouth was being muffled by my shoulder. I could feel him raise his head resting his chin on my collar. “No more of this. We have to stop fighting, hitting, the lies,…everything. No more of it!” He expressed his mind not hesitating. “It is time for us to be friends. I’m tired of fighting with you.”

My heart thirsted for him now. “I feel the same…” I said. “You are not my enemy.”

“Neither are you mine.” Bram said right after me. “We have to stop treating each other like this.”

He was right. We had to stop doing this to each other. “Right. We are better at being friends, than enemies. It is less toxic.”

Bram broke out singing. “Beautiful girls, all over the world. I could be chasing…” he sang in a whisper careful not to wake the neighborhood. It was his way of lightening the mood. Being comical. Trying to make me laugh.

How could he think of girls at a time like this? I blew it off acting like I didn’t hear it.

“But my time would be wasting,… they might say hi, and I might say hey, but you shouldn’t worry about what they say…” he continued on with it.

He finally let me go. When he did, I felt like something was missing. I didn’t know if he could feel what I was feeling. He licked his pink lips and then smiled at me.

“You know I was thinking.” He stopped to say, “I don’t know what I would do if something bad happened to you while I am alive…if you died, I think I might have died.” His face was stone serious. Patting on my shoulder he said, “This year taught me a lot about our friendship.”

I was glad he was doing most of the talking because after a long hug like he gave, I was in space. “I learned a lot too.”

He laughed his face free of stress. “One more hug before I go.” He finalized, stretching his fit arms out.

I rolled my eyes playing like I didn’t want another, but I went into him. He wrapped me up in his hold once more. He pulled back halfway looking into my eyes, reading something. It was like I was naked before him and I could not cover anything anymore.

He waited, perceiving things not seen before. We were reconnected, and my emotions could not stay with held any longer. When he stared deeply I felt something tingle, and my emotions released in the form of his arms.

His eyes narrowed, looking me over. As if he could see this reaction cooking inside of me. He stared at my lips, “This year also taught me,” he paused as if he was drunk, “Something else. Do you want to know what else I learned this football season?” Behind his question lingered a hot lust. I don’t know if it was his chest tensing against mine, or the auburn eyes, but something felt steamy and seductive.

Please don’t do anything stupid. I coached myself.

“What else did you learn this season?” I realized that I was hypnotized by his aura. His honey wheat skin, and his entire essence was beaming through me.

The fabric of his muscle shirt as twined in my fingers.

His voice vibrated the cells as he spoke, “It taught me…That you, stole my heart.” It came out so fast that I could not replay. He had already made his move!

Softly, he put his lips to mine and sweetly kissed them. It was smooth. The little added force in his jawline pushed to my lips, letting me taste the moistness of them.

Bram made fireworks of dazzling colors pop in my chest. There was a big explosion! My blood pressure felt like it had risen and my heart seemed to have no beat to it. There was no world. Nothing mattered. I was in an everlasting peace. The night left us and nothing was left but the two of us.

When my lips moved to get more of him, the connection made a mighty powerful jolt, that made my insides squirm.

Bram broke our lip lock sighing, “Was I wrong for that?” He sweetly wondered. “I didn’t ask you, or give a warning…”

“No, no, it was…” My words was chopped when I got sense of what actually happened. “It was my first kiss….” I shyly mentioned looking to the sky. This was too much for my head. My mind was not on earth at all. My emotions were gyrating out of control.

I could not keep myself in one feeling. There was so much going on that my vision started to shift colors.

“Brice, what are we doing?” The realization hit him harder than it hit me. He was sounding ashamed. He let me go putting his head down.

I shrugged at him unsure what to say. I was afraid if I answered, it would ruin the moment. I think Bram kissed me without thinking. Now he is coming to his senses realizing that I am not a girl… remembering his sexuality.

“Oh god!” He grabbed his head, “I think, I am losing it! I don’t know…” he was going through an identity crisis. It was scary seeing him act like this. “I don’t know what I am. Am I still straight? Am I curious? Bi? Gay?” He question shaking his head with a heavy doubt. “I don’t know the difference between straight and gay anymore!”

He seemed to be damaging his own self. His brain trying to cross into the doorway of my world. From the looks of him sweating and pacing around in small circles I could see that he was not ready. He was having a breakdown.

“Bram, it’s okay.” I wanted to calm him before I lost him to the straight side completely. If he goes too far that way, I would lose him for good.

“It’s not okay!” He cried.

Oh gosh. He is totally flipping out! This isn’t good at all! What if he hits me? What if he thinks I turned him gay or bi? What if… “Bram, it could be a thing were you felt like we have a strong friendship link between us and that kiss only was a way to express yourself.” My brain was shooting excuses to give him, anything to bring him to slow down and think. “You are still straight, it was a kiss. Lots of friends do it.”

He shook his head, standing with his back straight staring off, “It’s not that. What I feel is way deeper than a friendship. Way deeper than anything I had with Melissa.” His facial expression was like a bird cracking its egg and seeing the world for the first time. “I just don’t know how to place these feelings.”

It stunned me how far he opened up, but it scared me because I don’t know what he will make of everything growing between us. He was more confused than a two year old in calculus.

I began staring out at the night’s stars, twinkling silver lights. Wondering what would become of this. Bram was a wreck after a simple act of passion. Now I have to wonder what he will do.

I decided to leave Bram alone and ignore that this ever happened. This would give him time to think and figure out what he wanted,

Never in a million fantasies did things end like this. Something I fought for, something I wanted, someone I wanted and waited for so long, turned out to be not what I thought.

Bram came over to me. His cute face different from the one he wore seconds ago. Giving me a more seductive glare, he put his arms around my waist. His chiseled cheeks went into a reassuring smile. It was like he had come back alive but more confident.

“Bram?” I asked worriedly. Making sure this was him. “Are you okay?” I didn’t want him to lose it again. So I called his name hoping to see if he would come to his senses, “Bram?”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” He answered back biting his bottom lip. His hard arms pressed my waist into his. “It’s me. I had to ask myself, ‘what do I really want?’” He grinned gazing at me with fever. “Hey, look at me.” He ordered the second my eyes strayed from his. I was curling in on myself looking at the marvelous angles of his face. “Why are you looking at the sky when you have a star right here?” this time his pupils twinkled.

I gave him a shy laugh. Not knowing how to handle a man such as Bram.

I could feel the imprint of his soft lips on my jawline when he asked, “How do you feel about this?” It was a lust filled whisper that burned the tiny hairs along my face.

Letting out a long wind of air, I didn’t know how I was going to word this. How do I put into words how I’ve been feeling about him all season? “To be honest-“

“Don’t be shy, Brice.” Bram laid his warm cheek to my cheek. Then he put a loving grip to his squeeze. “It’s between me and you. Just let me know: How do you feel about this? How do you feel about me?... About us?” He leaned back to see my facial expression. “Am I doing too much? Are you not ready for this?... Or what?”

No matter how shocking this was, I couldn’t afford to let the shock get the best of me. If I never answer Bram, I could leave him hanging. Then I knew for a fact I would never get this opportunity again.

“I don’t want you to hit me.” I nervously said, trying to put my hold tighter on his ribs, “but I like this… I like what we have here. Our whole football experience has brought something inside of us to the outside.” I told him, meaning every word. Also I was careful not to say anything that would be too much. I know Bram is still coming to terms with this sexuality.

“I am not going to hit you. I made a promise.” His face was a bit tense, “and it feels good to know I am not alone when it comes to these feelings.” He chuckled a little.

“No, you are far from alone.” I said.

“One more question,” he said looking at me almost daring me to guess.

“What?” I was slowly melting into body, and words. The whole atmosphere he created was recreating my mind.

“Will you please… teach me…” he stumbled over his words as if he was twisting his courage to say the unthinkable, “how to be a good boyfriend, now?” It ended like a plea. “You can’t get out of this one, this time.”

“Hahahahaha sure.” My life lit up. “If we ever take the steps of becoming more than friends.” I was too shy to say a simple ‘yes’. I can’t believe after all this, I am still playing games.

Bram silently stood there holding me. Then in a calm easy motion, he made his forehead touch mine. It was so cute. The breath in my lungs cut short. After that, he brought his nose to mine too. Then He bit his lip again, “So if we feel the same about each other… I want you to ask me.” Our heads were perfectly lined up. Our lips were centimeters apart, and the heat from his pulsing veins was carrying over to my skin. “Ask me the question.”

I pretended like I didn’t know what he meant. I shrugged. I was locking down at the wrong time. Why now? He was acting like he was ready, why can’t I do the same? I let his sentence brush by me, like it meant nothing. My shyness was making this more complicated than it needed to be.

If I don’t let him know something he is going to think I don’t like him!!! I can not let that happen. I would never forgive myself!

“Brice,…” he called lowly, “Ask me the question.” He paused, “Go on… I can handle it.” I made a face like I didn’t know what he meant, then he spoke, “I am ready, if you are.”

I put my nervousness behind me at his last words. It was what I have waited for all season! Throwing forth my best confidence, I let it leave my mouth. “Bram will… will you be my boy-“

He interjected, “Yes! Yes, I will.” Then he kissed me with the wettest and hottest lips ever. Once he started he wouldn’t stop! It was like he wanted it as bad as I did. He started sucking at my bottom lip with a purpose and desire.

I started kissing his smooth mouth back. I felt the healing of my broken heart that he caused this season, mending back together. The more we kissed, the more I healed.

I don’t think either of us knew what was going on. Or what we were doing, but it made this, that much more marvelous.

He broke away from the kiss. Leaving my lips twitching for more. “Brice Hails is it?” He joked, switching our names like I had done so many times in my notebook scribbling.

Ughhhhh! His power over me we getting too strong. I had never wanted someone with the heat I was having now.

There was a pressure of body heat rising in me. I started to feel dazed and only had my mind set on him, and sexual things. “Yeah that’s my name.” Suddenly I took initiative and kissed his lips with all the passion I saved up over the season. Letting loose what buzzed around my heart for months.

He began to let out deep manly moans. And I started to pant wanting it more and more.

His hands rubbed down my lower back and curved around my butt. With a small slight grab he clamped it. Throughout our mouths sloping together he kept squeezing my butt off and on. Tenderly touching with an expert’s hand.

I didn’t know what came over me then. There were sensations coming from his hands and into my butt where he squeezed. My cheerleading reflexes kicked in without warning, and I jumped into him…

Not knowing what I had done the first second I did it, I was in the air!

Bram never breaking the kiss, football reflexes kicked in on time, and he caught me like I was a long pass. My legs were wrapped around his strong firm body, and his arms were holding me up so we could continue our hot hunt for passion.

I smeared my hands on his tough chest. Feeling the tightness of his pecs through the rigid fabric of his gray muscle shirt. “Ooooh Bri…” he moaned. An intense desirable flash of fire consumed us both. A spicing sensation fluttering through our bodies as our hands roamed the corners of each other’s bodies.

“We have to stop…” Bram tried to say but I we flooded each other with more lip locking. “If…(kiss) we don’t stop..(kiss) something might happen right here, right now!”

“Uh-huh,” I heard him, but I didn’t. I wanted it to happen right here!

“Brice…(kiss), Brice…(kiss)” We couldn’t stop kissing. But I noticed he called my name. “I have to get home…(kiss) ok…?”

“Okay … (kiss)…” I wanted to stop but his lips dripped with a bane of addiction.

(kiss)

(kiss)

(kiss)

He moaned, “I’ll call you when I get home…” He put me down letting my feet touch the ground finally. “So this is bye?” He made a sad puppy face.

We disconnected our hug. “Okaay,” I pouted, already starting to feel empty without him.

He started to walk away to his car. I hated to see him leave.

He waved bye and blew a quick kiss. “Bye, bab-, I mean boyfrie-, uhhh I don’t know.” He opened his car door about to step in.

“You mean boyfriend? Is that what you were trying to say?” We both laughed. It was okay to me that he wasn’t used to calling me boyfriend. In due time it will grow on him.

“Yeah, that’s it!” His laughed echoed. “You took the words right out of my mouth.” He ducked inside his car gleaming with a bright smile. “Be by your phone,” he let his window down and screamed. “I want to call my baby.”

When I got inside of my house. I took a shower and fell face first in my bed covers. The way today went was the worst and best day of my life. I really didn’t know which one to label it as.

I can’t believe I came home with a title that was better than being on Varsity. I could officially say that Bram Hails was mine. This was really happening for me! I have a boyfriend who is on Varsity, a wide receiver!

Oh my God! I fought all season long for him, putting up with broken hearts, cuts, scars, and stress, but I won!

Bram spent time around me everyday. We were barely ever seen apart. Our dynamic duo was back but with even greater means.

Only we knew about our relationship. It was our business, and we didn’t want everyone to interfere with our happiness. Not only that, Bram had to take baby steps before yelling to the world he was with a guy. He didn’t want to be labeled as gay so soon just because he had strong feelings for one guy, (but in my book he was Bi. He will realize it soon) but as he says ‘Baby steps.’

To be honest Bram never needed to learn how to be a great boyfriend. He already had the qualities in him. I guess being with the wrong people made it harder for him to be himself. Around me he could be relaxed and be Bram all day with no hassle.

When the last game of the entire football season was played. I surprised myself yelling out, ‘Go, 88!’ No one heard me of course, but it was a good feeling to cheer for him knowing we were together.

The last game was a big loss for the Eagles, but Bram didn’t lose, he had me to lift him up.

‘That’s my cheerleader’ he said when I inspired him with my words. I would always say in return, “That’s my football player’, we knew that we would always have each other’s backs.

The same night of our last game day we started to miss the season already. We took a lot of pictures on our phones with each other. Some were me doing jumps, or flips. Others were him throwing the football, and posing with his jersey on. The best ones happen to be us together kissing, and him giving me a piggy back ride. We both wore our uniforms. It was a season to be remembered.

We wanted to remember what all came with our first year of being athletes.

The more we spent time behind my house, and at school, or wherever we were, Bram was able to say boyfriend, and baby to me without stuttering. He had improved so much.

Kenton look to have a stomach ache when he saw Bram and I closer than ever before. I still wondered what he had to tell me the night I almost died. I guess it doesn’t matter now since he could never say it. My punishment for Kenton was ignoring him. I let my friendship with Bram be enough hurt for him.

I confronted Kenton about him lying and almost getting me killed. He felt so bad, and he hasn’t been the same since he found out that I knew. His confidence went down a few notches without me there to support his charm.

I could not deny him as a friend completely. So I did make small talk with him. Although I had to keep it short until I got over my near death experience. Plus Bram was my boyfriend now, and he would steal me away from Kenton if we were ever alone.

Giving Kent even more reason to resent Bram.

Bram really came through for me this year. He caught my heart, broke it, then handled it and healed it with love. He wrapped it in his masculine kindness and had it beating unbroken, in a perfect rhythm.

He cared so much for me. He really fell into our relationship.

It was done.

I had the auburn eyes, the honey wheat skin, the sexy wide receiver, and my best friend… as my boyfriend. I didn’t have to fight anymore, because the war was over.

The price I paid to become a cheerleader was a large and heavy one, but it all paid off in my favor. I can say following my heart got me the happiness I always dreamed that I deserve.

We had different dreams for different teams. He was a football player, I was a cheerleader. He was straight, and I was gay. In the end it didn’t matter whether if it was football, or cheerleading, straight or gay… we were now on the Same Team.

I’m so glad we made it work.

Bram was mine. ALL MINE!

THE END