My Coming Out - 1. My Coming Out

Coming Out

 

Like I said, if my parents were fairly alright with me not turning out gay, it was different for Kit. He’s Dakota’s and Shea’s first born child and also my best friend. Born exactly one year after me, much to my disappointment as I no longer was the center of attention, I rapidly put that aside and we became inseparable. Of course, the fact that our parents were always at each other’s place must have pushed us together.

 

Anyhow, Kit came to his paternal unit one morning of his fifteen with his questioning.

 

Shea was sitting at the table with Dakota, who was sitting silently reading the paper, just like he usually did on a Sunday morning.

 

“Dakota, Shea, I need to talk to you guys,” Kit declared.

 

“Kitty, of course you can talk, honey.” Shea answered putting his double-double down.

 

Kit had to take a long deep breath, but managed to blurt out “Well, it’s complicated... hard to explain!”

 

“Honey, Shea’s right, you gotta know that you can say anything to us, we’re your parents, no matter what it is, we will understand.” Dakota said while avoiding Shea’s look. He was giving him the don’t-you-think-you-over-kill look.

 

“Well, I kinda made a mistake, a big one.” Kit paused and waited for some form of inquiries from his parents, that ultimately didn’t come, before going on “The other day, I was with Katie and we hung out here after school.”

 

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out with Katie. You know that my dear!” Dakota exclaimed.

 

“Will you just let him finish?! Can’t you see, that’s not what he wanted to tell us!” Shea snapped at his husband. However, he quickly realized the meaning of what their son had just told them. “Wait a minute, after school? when was that?” Shea asked.

 

“You guys weren’t there if that’s what you’re asking.” Kit responded. “Now, can I go on?” he continued looking at Dakota.

 

Shea answered for the both of them. “Yes, go on.”

 

“So I was with Katie one day after school and we got curious. One thing led to another. And the first thing I knew was that we were both naked.” Kit took a deep breath and continued. “I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, we did, you know, sex stuff."

 

Both Shea and Dakota were taken by surprise. They absolutely did not know how to react, nor what to say. A kid doesn't come with an instruction manual; that's what Shea had always been saying. This was one of those situation where a user guide to parenting would have come handy.

 

Dakota was the first one to break the ice. "Aww, sweetie, come here!" He had Kit come into a big hug before having him sit next to him at the table.

 

"Hun, it's normal to be exploring your sexuality at your age. Everyone will admit to some exploration on that side. If they don't, they're either lying or it's their bad!" Shea tried to reassure his son.

 

"Dad, you don't understand. I liked it, it felt right to me."

 

"What are you trying to say" Dakota asked, desperately hoping for some good news.

 

"I think I'm straight!"

  

Dakota remained speechless a few moment while the statement sunk in. "What did you say?" He blurted out.

 

"Dad, I'm not attracted to other guys, I'm straight."

 

“Kit! Don’t you remember what your uncle died of?” Was Shea’s first answer, referring to his older brother that had died a few years prior due to complication of AIDS.

 

"Ya, I need to get going, I'll be late for the gym." Dakota said visibly upset as he got up and left the room.

 

Kit was really upset by Dakota’s reaction. He didn’t expect a party to be thrown for the occasion, but he had hoped that he would at least not be ignored.

 

It didn’t go unnoticed by Shea. Realizing that he might have gone a little too far moments before, he decided to take a conciliatory approach. “Don’t worry sweetie, you know how he is, it’s the way he deals with things.”

 

***

 

When Dakota arrived at the nearby gym, Jessie had already started his workout. Despite the bad start of his day, he quickly changed himself into proper attire for training, then met his friend at treadmills area.

 

"You lazy ass! You finally showed up." Jessie teased him.

 

"Ya well, the kid decided to call a family meeting as I was about to leave."

 

"Oh? Anything wrong?"

 

Dakota didn't hesitate, knowing he could trust his long time friend. However, He still however made sure that nobody was around to listen. "I can trust you to keep what I'm about to tell you between us, right?"

 

Jessie nodded in approval.

 

Dakota continued "Well, I don't know what to think. Kit told us that not only he fooled around with a girl, but also that he thinks he's straight! I’m sorry to tell you like this, but he also told us that Katie was the girl he fooled around with.”

 

Jessie stayed calm and was almost analyzing Dakota from his regard. That raised some suspicion from his best friend.

 

“You don’t seem that surprised... Why am I getting the feeling that you already knew this?”

 

“Alright, yes we already knew!”

 

“We?” Dakota looked at him puzzled.

 

"Katie came out to Alex and me about a year ago."

 

"And you didn't tell us!"

 

"What? Would it have changed anything? Would you have stopped Kit from hanging out with Katie? Be honest here." Jessie was testing his friend.

 

"I guess not... I don't know... I don't think so!"

 

"There you go! It was a personal matter and, at the time, we thought it was best not to tell you guys in order not to raise any suspicion."

 

“And you’re fine with her being straight?”

 

Jessie took a deep breath and explained “Am I fine about it? No, and I honestly don’t think that I will ever be able to be entirely fine about it. But, I guess, I can say that, with time, I have learned to live with it. After a couple of sleepless nights, I realized that, no matter what, I would end up supporting her. Besides, it was a time where she needed me to be there for her. In all case, you won’t see me standing next to her in the parades.”

 

“I just don't know what to do.”

 

“I don’t think that there is much that you can do about it. Like I said, deep down, you know, in the end, that you’ll end up supporting Kit. It’s just a matter of how long it will take you to get there.”

 

“Yea, well I really don’t know how I will be able to get to that point” Dakota skeptically said.

 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I never said it was easy for me to get where I am today!”

 

“What should I do?”

 

“Nothing, act as if nothing special had happened, as if everything was normal. He's still the same boy that you've always known."

 

“Won’t it feel fake, like we’re hiding the elephant in the room?”

 

“Oh, for the first few minutes, for sure! But then, you can simply talk about it a little at the time, go with the flow.”

 

That day, they both finished their training with their regular chitchat. Before they parted way, my dad reminded Dakota that they were expected later on that night for dinner.

 

***

 

I was looking out of my bedroom window that same day, as Kit was walking up to my place.

 

“Hi Kit! It’s nice to see you; how are you today?” Alex welcomed him as he entered.

 

“To be honest, it could be better, but I’ll be fine.”

 

As I got downstairs, I immediately noticed that something was wrong. “What happened?”

 

“I told my parents.”

 

“I guess it they didn’t take it as good as you’d hope?”

 

“I don’t know what I was expecting... But ya, it didn’t go exactly as I was hoping. Dakota simply walked out, as for Shea, well he didn’t ostracized me, but it wasn’t the warm feeling either.”

 

Alex, who had overheard the conversation, tried to give the young guy a pep talk. “Kit, you gotta give them a chance. I know your parents quite well and they will turn around. You really just need to give them some time. The time to assimilate the news.”

 

“Maybe, but still....”

 

“How long did it take before you accepted it yourself? It wasn’t immediately, right? Well it’s the same thing for your parents.”

 

Kit didn’t answer.

 

“Did you tell them about us?” Katie asked.

 

“Well, I told them that we’ve done stuff together, but didn’t mention that we were an item.”

 

“You should tell about you and Katie going out right away.” Alex again weighted in.

 

“Dad!” Katie moaned.

 

“It’s like ripping a band aid, it’s always better to get it done as quickly as possible.”

 

“You’ll tattle if I don’t?” Kit asked.

 

“You know that I won’t. Jessie and I already told you that we would let you tell your parents whenever you feel ready for it. That is still true. However, you shouldn’t wait too long, you should trust them.”

 

“If you want, I’ll be there with you when you’ll tell them!” Katie offered.

 

“Thanks! Can we just talk about something else? I don’t want to talk about it now, I came here to get away from this.”

 

"Of course, we can sweetie! Let's go upstairs to my room."

 

Kit followed Katie back to her room. Arrived in the small bedroom, Kit noticed the laptop opened on the bed. Hoping for something more compromising, he was somewhat disappointed that his girlfriend was simply doing some school work.

 

“I would have hoped for something more interesting for a Sunday morning!” Kit commented.

 

Katie simply shut the door then jumped in bed, closed the laptop and put it away.

 

“I was hoping it would get better!” Katie playfully teased him.

 

Kit got closer and leaned in for a short kiss. After a long make out session, they simply laid there in bed in each other’s arms. It felt so natural for the two of them, spending time together, losing themselves in the other’s eyes.

 

Katie broke what was a romantic moment together. "You know, I don't want to give you too much extra pressure, but now that you came out, I would really appreciate it if you'd tell your parents about us, too."

 

Kit was tempted to just call her off and tell her that he'd rather leave than talk about this subject again, but he judged it might not be the best way to deal with it. "Really? You have to bring this up again, now? I'd rather not talk about it right now, alright?"

 

"I know you don't want to think about it right now. It's just that we've waited long enough, I'm getting real tired to see you hide our relationship from your parents. At least promise me that you won't wait too long. Can you do that for me?"

 

“Yeah, I can. I will, soon, I promise you that.” Kit said before giving her a loving kiss.

 

They were getting more and more into each other, fooling around. They had already gotten more comfortable by taking off their shirts when they heard incoming noise. They both stopped dead, knowing full well that Katie’s father would be coming in the bedroom in a matter of seconds. They both knew that they had no time to get decent.

 

“Shit!” Kit muttered

 

Somehow, what they both apprehended didn’t arrive. The door, that the two teenagers were staring at, awaiting to be busted, didn’t open.

 

“I’ve made some lunch for you guys. Come downstairs when you are ready.” Alex said through the door.

 

They both sighed in relief.

 

After having taken the time to gain their composure back, they joined Alex who had already served a bowl of noodle soup on the table.

 

"Ahh! There they are, cancel the rescue party!" Alex exclaimed as the two teenagers walked into the dining room.

 

"Dad!" Katie scolded.

 

Having a fair guess about what two teens would be doing in a bedroom behind a closed door, he decided to tease them some more. "Sure, took you guys long enough!"

 

The two of them simply ignored that last comment and began to eat their soup.

 

"Kit, how will you take your eggs?"

 

"Umm, scrambled, please."

 

"Same for me."

 

"Alright! Two sets of scrambled eggs coming up!" Alex said before going back into the kitchen.

 

"Try not to burn them up!" Katie teased him.

 

"Only once!" They heard him from the next room.

 

At that moment, Jessie walked in, still carrying his gym bag. "You're letting him cook! I better go in the kitchen and supervise!"

 

"I heard that!"

 

***

"I'm home" Dakota exclaimed as he walked into the room.

Shea was sitting on the couch, staring in the distance, waiting.

"Where's Kit?" He asked looking around, as if his son would suddenly come running to him.

"He went to Alex's place shortly after you left."

"Oh!"

"Hun, I think we need to talk about this!"

Dakota sat next to his husband. "Yeah, I guess we do."

"I told you, we should have made him take ballet classes instead of letting him join the hockey team!" Shea said, accusing him.

"Hey! I didn't see you object that much at the time. Besides, with hockey you got the guys jumping at each other after goals, seeing guys in jocks in the locker room, and even naked time with them in the shower!"

"Well, still doesn't beat tights!"

"But why are we arguing about this? It's his choice! He's smart enough to do what's good for him!"

“He is still a teen! He can be influenced so easily.”

“What do you mean by that?” Dakota already had his guess but wanted to be sure before berating his partner.

“You know damn right what I mean. She most likely lured him toward her!”

Sometimes it doesn’t take a lot for someone to realize how stupid they’re acting. Dakota realize that very moment how big of a mountain they were making it out to be. He, however, understood that Shea wasn’t at that point just yet and that he would need to be the voice of the reason for him.

“Are you even listening to yourself? You’re saying stupidity. Don’t you know your son? He doesn’t get pushed, he only do things if he wants it.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that we both will need to learn to live with the fact that we have a straight kid.”

“I guess”

“Besides, I think there are things way worse than having a straight kid.”

***

Later that day, Kit's parents came at my place for dinner. As I said from the start, this was not unusual, as they often did on Saturdays. However, this time around Kit and me both waited for their arrival with apprehension.

"They're there!" Katie said, looking out of the bedroom window, after the doorbell rang.

“I’m fine here with you and your parents. I don’t need them."

Knowing him all for all of his life, she just knew that he didn't really mean it as it had sounded. "Don't say that, I know you don't really mean it."

"Well, I'm really good with you right now! I could stay with you here, forever, and forget about my parents." He answered with a kiss.

"Aww! I would hope so, but it's always nice to hear." This time she initiated the kiss. "However, you know that's not what I meant. You know you love both of your parents. You couldn't live without them, you're not that independent."

"I could be!"

"Maybe" She said humoring him. "But, it's not the case, you don't have to."

They just stood there in an embrace, hugging each other, for what seemed like a little eternity.

"Let's just get downstairs to say hello to your parents." She instantly saw in Kit's eyes that the idea didn't please him that much. "You can stay here if you want."

"Thanks"

She kissed him one last time. "I'll be right back!" She said as she left the room.

Kit was laying on the bed on his back when, after what felt like an eternity, the bedroom door opened. However, it wasn’t Katie that came in, but rather Dakota.

“Can I come in? Please?”

“I guess”

Kit moved his legs so that his dad could sit next to him.

“Can we talk?”

“I guess?”

“Well, I guess I’ll start by saying how sorry I am for the way I reacted this morning.”

Dakota might have expected some reaction following his excuses, however, none came.

“I acted without thinking how big of a deal it is for you to tell us. I only thought about myself and how others would perceive me when you’re the one that will be the most impacted, and for that, I’m sorry.”

Again, Kit stayed quiet. Despite his will to stay angry at his father, he was starting to get a warm feeling inside.

“I guess what I really wanted to say is that you’re our son, and we do love you no matter what and we will always be there for you.”

“Dad, thank you!!!” Kit couldn’t resist but to jump in the arms of his dad.

“Let’s get downstairs, everyone will be waiting for us.”

****

There’s nothing more I would love to tell you other than everything was smooth sailing from that night on. The important thing would be to know that in the end they both were there when came the hardest moments, but that’s another story.