Slash Work - 5. Unexpected Consequences/How The Heck Did That Happen?!

Chapter 5: Unexpected Consequences/How The Heck Did That Happen?!

So my fourth chapter was significantly better than my third. Thank God for that! The character development seems to be going along pretty smoothly, as well as the overall plot. Readers are getting into it by now. They seem to love it. Comedian thinks the story’s getting better and better, and is URGING Guy A to see what’s happening right in front of him. Haha, nope! My character’s as dumb as a brick. Guy B could be thrusting his cock down Guy A’s throat and he STILL wouldn’t know what’s happening.

J. Caesar’s starting to get political now, too. Dammit, why is every guy doing this? Am I that much of a savior? And his gaydar’s apparently broken, too. Join the club, dude. He’s making predictions (some of which are accurate, and some are not), and suggesting new characters to be added (Who do you think you are? My editor?). Still, lengthy, and I like that (wait, that sounded SO wrong).

And a new person reviewed, “Cobra’s Calcium.” First, I’d like to say IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE NEW SHOWED UP! Secondly, what the hell does their penname mean?! I’m pretty sure that cobra’s aren’t a nutritious source of milk for your balanced diet. In fact, I’m pretty sure that snakes aren’t high in anything nutritious enough for us to benefit eating them. But anyways, the review!

…Oh wow. This person (probably a female) actually created an account on the website JUST to review me! I was speechless (I wasn’t talking to begin with, but that’s beside the point)! Who does that?! Only someone who ABSOLUTELY thinks the writer deserves credit where credit is due does this kind of thing! Is my story that amazing? I mean, I always knew it was; the problem was just convincing everyone else! I succeeded? Hell, I’d write a oneshot for this woman now, if I wasn’t so busy with everything else! Oh wait, the actual review.

She liked my liberal sprinklings of humor. She feels that she’s READING MY MIND (emphasis by me). And she thinks the plot’s slowing down some, and needs to start speeding up again. But she made an account just to say that! How awesome is that?! I’m so telling Simon about this, first chance I get.

Phlegm didn’t send in a review though. That made me sad. I was thinking about randomly deciding to spread a rumor around over the Internet that she has a sex life to rival Hugh Hefner. Actually, I think I might still do that. Just to see what she has to say about it. See if she agrees or disagrees with it.

So in two days I have to work on this stupid project with Chad. Whom I’m guessing hasn’t gotten anything done in the THREE WEEKS he’s been given for the assignment. Typical jock. I’ll have to ask him about where he works out at, though. After all my years here on campus, I’m finally starting to develop the dreaded “Freshman Fifteen.” Only it’s more like “Twenty.” I’m hoping that I can work out with him so that I don’t feel alone and retarded, going to the rec. center all by my little lonesome.

I got another text message, though this time I checked to see who it was from. The caller was anonymous. I deleted it without reading the message.

~~~

The guy I worshiped in my Political Science class sat next to me today. I don’t think it was pre-planned though. The place was unusually packed today. I think it was because the professor was going over material that would surely be on the exam. His friends, I noticed, were absent today. He just walked on over, walked past me, and sat next to me on the other side. This was a dangerous situation. He was sitting on the side that didn’t contain the horrendous mole, so he looked flawless to me. Not that I stared or anything. That would look creepy. I just looked out of the corner of my eye. He smelled of something though. And it wasn’t pleasant. I think he was smoking pot JUST before class. Actually, the powerful aroma was overwhelming his moderately attractiveness. I think I had a crush crushed today. His friends can have him.

I was in such a hurry to get out of that class. By the time I did make it out, I already had a splitting headache. Next time, HE has to lick the grime from the bottom of MY shoes! I didn’t have enough money to buy any headache medicine, so I would have to suffer until I get back to my room later on today. With my headache, I wouldn’t be able to write down any new stuff for my story, so I figured that I should just rest until my next class began. I made my way into the Student Union building and found a relatively quiet place to unwind. Laying my stuff down (at this point, I didn’t care if it’d get stolen while I was asleep), I closed my eyes and tried to think happy thoughts. About ten minutes into this, I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I opened my eyes (squinted really) and looked up. The guy from my Geology class was staring down at me.

“Hey. Sorry, were you sleeping?” he said.

“Kinda,” I replied, wondering why he was talking to me.

“Sorry. Listen, you’re in my Geology class, right? The really early one?”

“Yeah...” I lingered.

“Cool. Hey, I wasn’t there Wednesday, and I know that the professor covered some stuff that’ll be used for the projects and exam. I was hoping if I could borrow your notes so that I could copy what you wrote down. I’d give them back tomorrow in class.”

“Well, I don’t have them on me at the moment.”

A look of disappointment came across his face. Then came an enlightened one.

“Hey, do you live on campus?” he asked.

“No. I live about ten minutes off campus.”

Why did I say that, and why do I feel like I just invited myself to be robbed stupid?

“Okay, I know this is going to sound creepy and all, and I’m seriously not trying to stalk you or anything, but could I come over today to get them? Like, after your last class or something? The only reason why I’m so dead set on getting those notes is because I need a good grade in this class or else I get kicked off the team.”

I looked on in bewilderment.

“Do all you jocks border on staying on the team? Because every jock I know is in the same condition you’re in. There’s this thing called ‘studying.’ I don’t know if you’ve heard about it or not.”

“Dude, do you know how hard it is to study when you’re constantly training, going on away games, studying football strategies and the opponent’s strategies, and other sports-related things? We simply don’t have the time for a daily one-hour study session. By the time we get free time, we’re too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.”

Still, I thought his proposition was weird. I kept having the image of letting him into my apartment, and having him suddenly rape me (and not in a good way), and steal everything I own. Then I kept coming back to the “rape” thing. But this wasn’t the time for that.

“I suppose I can get the notes for you once I’m done with classes today.”

“That’s cool!”

“But I’ll bring the notes here. Sorry, but like you said, inviting you over is just too weird for me. Why don’t I just bring the notes here, in this room, at around 12:30?”

“That works for me, dude.”

“Cool.”

“Cool. Well, I’ll see you then. Thanks for doing this.”

“No problem. Hey, I didn’t get your name. I kinda need that.”

“Oops. My bad. I’m Matt.”

“Cool. I’m Nick.”

“Yeah, that’s cool. Well, seeya.”

He walked away. Now that was weird. But at least now I know that the hot guy is paying attention to me, albeit not how I wanted him to. Now about that “rape” thing...

~~~

So my Literature class was boring as hell. All I could think about was sex. Since Matt talked to me, my hormones have been stirred up and I want to bang EVERYTHING! I swear, if I was writing my story right now, Guy A and Guy B would SO be effing each other’s brains out. Actually, if I had access to my laptop right now, which is in my room, I’d be more likely in bed, trying to impregnate it with all the sperm in my body. I’d drill a hole through that thing. Or I could unleash my horniness upon Chad, but with him, I’d actually have to worry about him crying “RAPE!” to the police. That wouldn’t be good. But would it be worth it?

Once class was over, I went to my car and drove back to my apartment. There, I got my notes from my table, which I really didn’t need IMMEDIATELY, and begrudgingly walked all the way back to my car, and drove all the way back to campus, and walk all the way back to the building I was supposed to meet Matt at. Damn, what a waste of time, energy, and gas. But he’s hot, so of course I’ll do it. I spotted him waiting right where I told him to. He saw me coming and stood up, a smile on his face.

“Cool man. You made it. Hey, thanks again for doing this for me, bro. I really appreciate it. I don’t know what I would’ve done without this info.”

“It’s no problem. You’re just lucky that I live close enough to do this for you. If I lived way off campus, I wouldn’t have bothered. Too much time and gas.”

“Yeah, I know. So hey, thanks again. And I’ll be heading off now.”

“Cool. See you in class tomorrow. Remember to bring that back.”

He laughed. “I will.”

I pretty much spent the rest of the day working on that project. As soon as I started, I found that maybe Chad was onto something here. The assignment sheet called for some extensive research to be done, which I had not been prepared for. I mean, it’s a project in a Pre-Calculus class, for Pete’s sake! How much work would be involved in a project for a freaking math class?! Although I admit that I didn’t thoroughly READ the assignment, I didn’t think that it’d be this extensive. I’m starting to feel like I’m on the same boat as Chad is here.

I worked and worked and worked, and then I worked some more on that blasted project from Hell. I think I was making progress at least. I don’t know about Chad, though. Something tells me that he’s in even less good condition than I’m in. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t even read the thing yet. Probably too busy “constantly training, going on away games, studying football strategies and the opponent’s strategies, and other sports-related things” to bother doing the one thing that’s letting him do all those things. I sighed inwardly to myself. Why do jocks always have to be like that? And why do I constantly feel the need to pump them so full of my seed that they just HAVE to get pregnant off of it? I mean, with enough sperm, it just HAS to happen at some point, right? Ignoring the fact that guys don’t produce eggs, of course.

…Which is how I got distracted and spent a good half an hour surfing the net for porn. I really got to admit at some point that I have a porn addiction. At least it’s not a sex addiction, like that X-Files guy. Though, since I haven’t had sex yet, I don’t know if that’s particularly true or not. I can imagine me thrusting until my penis bleeds, and continue to thrust. NOT a good image. Enough so that I didn’t even feel horny anymore, making the past half an hour a complete waste of my time. Stupid overactive imagination.

~~~

I had to work tonight as well. So I pretty much complained to Simon about said project, even though I know that I’ll do pretty good on it. I did complain, however, about having to help Chad with his project. It’s like doing two projects for the price of one, and that’s NOT a good deal. And you know what he says?

“Well, why did you agree to do it in the first place?”

Um...duh! The guy’s really hot?! I do consider him somewhat of a friend?! I’m sure that he can repay the favor at some point in the future. The guy’s really hot?! Have I mentioned his hotness yet?

Of course, I couldn’t mention the attractiveness bit to him. So I opted with the “He’s a friend” and “Repay the favor” excuse instead. But the hotness factor is still just as important.

Simon also asked about the story, to which I said was going fairly well. He asked if readers have forgiven me for the horrible third chapter yet. I said that I figured that they did, considering that people are still reviewing the story. I sure hope that’s true. Now all I have to do is figure out a good plot to go from there. Simon suggested a few things but, considering that they kind of involved a female character in order to achieve, I just nodded my head and said that “I’ll think about it.” Of course I’m not going to think about it, and most certainly won’t put them into the story.

After work, since the bookstore IS located on campus, I walked on over to the computer lab and signed on. I was planning on checking my emails, even though technically the computer lab is only for school-related things such as research for projects. I hope I don’t get busted.

From Teh Dude again. “Dude! This is sooooo cool! I like the interaction between Guy A and Guy B. It seems so...natural. Like, they aren’t just cardboard cutouts of typical jocks. They act and sound just like real people. And I didn’t really mind the last chapter, even though everyone else seemed to hate it. It wasn’t your best work, of course, but it was still better than some of the stuff I’ve seen on this site. It’s good to see an author instead of an authoress on this site, writing about gay love. And it helps that said author is pretty normal acting in real life. (I assume so, or else you’re doing an AWESOME job at acting out another personality [personalities?] that’s not your type.) I hope that Guy A and Guy B get together REAL soon, but not TOO soon! Make it natural, or else I’ll beat the shit out of you. Look forward to the next chapter!”

I got another email from Jock_Boi_88, who pretty much said the same thing. “So I’d like to repeat everything I said in my first review, but I know that you probably wouldn’t like that, so I won’t. But just think about what I said last time. It still rings true for this piece of fiction. That last chapter WAS pretty bad. Sorry I didn’t review. I was starting to lose hope in you. But, you managed to turn it around! So keep up with whatever it is you’re doing! And by the way, how do YOU, not the characters, feel about all these gay issues going around?”

Umm...do I really have to respond to that one? He’ll chew me out if I don’t say anything in the next Author’s Notes. And I still have more reviews to go through.

From “FutbolRocks.” “This is awesome, bro! Really good! I love the characters! They’re so straight, yet so gay! How do you come up with this stuff! Also, have you got any tips on how a straight guy like me can come out to my teammates?”

No. I’m not a professional psychologist. Go see one if you want to come out that badly.

From “HeWhoLovesDraco.” “Cool dude. I gotta admit, I tend to go for jocks like Guy A and Guy B as well. That’s why I made my HP/Friday Night Lights crossover, with Draco as the team’s star quarterback. Though the wizard-type Draco can still strengthen MY wand. Lol. Anyways, thanks for posting such an awesome story, dude. I can’t believe that I waited this long before checking it out. How do you feel about Draco and Cedric hitting the sack?”

Draco and who?! Since when did people start figuring me for a Harry Potter fan? And why are all of the guys suddenly sending in reviews? And stop asking questions I don’t know the answer to! Just as I thought that to myself, I received yet another review. I didn’t feel like reading it right now, so I just logged off and left the computer lab.

On my way to the car, my cell phone started ringing. I fished it out of my pocket and looked to see who it was. I sighed, outwardly this time. It was Chad.

“Yo, what’s up?” I said.

“Hey man. I was just calling to see if we were still on for Saturday.”

“Yeah...if we weren’t, I would’ve notified you. And you’re damn lucky that I’m still awake right now.”

“C’mon. It’s not THAT late.”

“It’s late enough! I’ve gone to bed before at around this time.”

“You’re a horrible college student.”

“Who happens to be getting a good grade in all my classes.”

“Yeah, whatever. You need to learn how to live it up a little. I mean, dude, go out and party some time or something. Don’t just study and work throughout your entire college career. Getting an education is good and all, but remember that saying, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’”

“You don’t even know where that came from, if that’s the correct saying, or what it actually means.”

“I know what it means and it doesn’t matter if I’m off by a word or two or where it came from.”

“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow in class then.”

“Wait. Where are we going to meet on Saturday?”

“I was thinking your place, since it’s your project.”

“Oh, that’s cool then, I guess. So is noon good?”

“Yeah, that's good. Okay, I've gotta go now. Seeya.”

“Seeya bro.”

I hung up. It’s good to talk on a cell phone when walking through campus late at night. I usually call someone else when I work late. Attackers typically don’t go after someone who’s talking on their cell phone. Too messy. The person on the other line might know that something’s up if the person they’re talking to suddenly screams or drops the cell phone. Or if they hear another voice. Especially helpful if the voice says, loudly, “My name is So-and-So and I’m going to rape you now!” Though I don’t think that happens very often.

The drive back to my apartment wasn’t anything eventful. Though I did get cut off by a really old guy. What’s he doing here on this college campus? Shouldn’t he be driving a golf cart in Florida right now? Should he be allowed to drive even that? I parked my car and walked up the stairs to my room. Damn, the whole place seems to be eerily quiet tonight. Though it is a college campus, so most of the residents are probably out partying or whatever.

I placed the key in the door knob and only felt the slightest hint of pain before I blacked out.