The Tunnel Of Doubt - 1. Chapter 1

The morning was damp and cool. You could see your breath when you talked and a sweater was definitively needed. There were raindrops on my bedroom window and the sky was overcast and gloomy. All of this reflected the day perfectly. It was that time known as ‘back to school’, and that meant my freedom was over. No more waking up and doing what I wanted. Instead I would be waking up and back into that exhausting routine of classes. Don’t get me wrong, education is important, but it has its costs.

This year was especially unique because I was going to a boarding school instead. That meant I was travelling a far distance from home and leaving my friends behind. I would also be leaving my home behind, which sucks big time. My little brother is like the most important person to me. I don’t know why my parents did this to me. I was doing just fine at my old school. I wasn’t getting like 90’s but I would have thought 70’s and 80’s were good. I wasn’t having any bullying problems either. So why was this change needed?

I decided to lay in bed a bit longer while being nice and warm under my sheets. Who knows if I’ll ever get to feel like this again. They probably come into your room at 6:00am and scream at you to wake you up. Or douse cold water on you. Whatever it may be, I don’t think it’ll ever compare to just waking up to an alarm. Which I guess still is not very pleasant, but I’d take that over whatever creative ways they have.

As I was staring at the ceiling I heard my door creak open. As soon as I saw the eyes I knew who it was. It was my little brother Tyler. He was probably wanting attention since he was gonna miss me. When Mom and Dad announced the new plans of me going away for school he threw a temper tantrum and said he wouldn’t let me go. Of course outbreaks like that are both annoying and scary, but it was also nice. At least someone around here wanted me still. After unintentionally being locked in a staring contest I decided to tell him to come in.

“Alright Tyler you win, you can enter”

He pushed open the door and his little 5 year old self came running in and hopped onto the bed. As he snuggled up under the blankets he buried his head into the pillow. Clearly still upset over the plans.

“I don’t want you to go”

“Well we don’t have much of a choice now do we. I don’t want to go either. But I’ll still be coming back every chance I get okay, and I’m coming back for Christmas no matter what so you’ll see me then.”

“It’s not fair. Who’s gonna stop Bryan from being mean to me?”

“Well you’re strong. I’m sure you can protect yourself. And your teacher can help”

“It’s not the same.”

He continued to pout into the pillow regurgitating the same stuff he had been saying. Everytime he said he didn’t want me to go, I’d just lightly pat his back and say ‘I know’ and leave it at that. There was no need to have this conversation for the millionth time. As we were laying here I heard the footsteps of one of my parents coming upstairs. Clearly it was almost time to go for me.

“Tyyyyyllleeerrrrr”

“He’s in here Mom!”

Mom walked in and just looked at the two of us and then in a typical mother fashion started talking to me as if it was an infantry division.

“Tyler! Come downstairs for breakfast. Trevor! Get out of bed NOW! You’ll be leaving soon! Come on!”

Without feeling like adding more fuel to the fire I grumbled and started getting out of bed. Just then Tyler gripped my hand to prevent me from leaving.

“No! Please Trevor. Don’t go”

“We have to get up Spidey”

I call him Spidey sometimes because his favourite superhero is spider man. We have every single movie and the entire TV Show collection on DVD. You should have seen his reaction when he opened my christmas present to him. It was one of those Spiderman masks that you put over your face and it came with some gloves to that he could pretend he was shooting web out of them. The little brown hair, blue eyed bro can get really excited sometimes I tell you.

We walked downstairs my dad was making some pancakes for us. Tyler and I sat down as we waited to be ‘served’ and I kept thinking I really wish he would feel happier. This day is sad enough without feeling worse because of how Tyler is feeling.

“Geez you two look like it’s the end of the world. Brighten up eh”

“It might as well be that way Dad.” I said.

“Ahhhhhh. You’ll be fiiiiine. You may be nervous, but that’s normal. Everyone else will probably be feeling it too. When you get to your dorm just introduce yourself to your roommate and then everything after will be a piece of cake. Tyler what about you? Why don’t you brighten up hey.”

“Hmph”

We gobbled up our pancakes and I ran upstairs for my shower and to get dressed. If first impressions are important, I was gonna make sure mine was not that I was a dork. Even though I am one at times.

As the time ticked down 8:00am reared it’s ugly head. My stomach began feeling like there were flying saucers inside. I wanted to throw up from the feeling it seemed. I walked downstairs wearing my uniform which consisted of a white button down shirt, a tie, a vest and some grey dress pants. Luckily because of my short hair I didn’t need to worry about bad hair so that department wasn’t an issue. I had all my bags packed complete with books, clothes, bathroom stuff, school supplies, my laptop, my PS3, some games, and movies. I hopped the dorms had a TV, otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do with myself at night!

“Heyyy you’re looking sharp son. Tyler don’t you think your brother looks good in his uniform?”

“No.”

“Ahhh come on you don’t mean that. Alright everyone let’s go.”

We all got into the car and began to drive down the road to the highway. Tyler was still sulking out the window, if I didn’t know better I would think he was the one going away for school. As the car winded it’s way down and the sky turned from the morning rise to the the day risen, I realized the goodbye was nearing. My flying saucers which I had managed to suppress made their way back. I began to sweat as we exited the highway and my dad turned down the street where a tall tower with the Canadian flag flying proudly indicated our arrival. Tyler once again let out a soft cry once he realized where we were. We pulled up into a parking lot and my time was up.

“Okay, here we are.”

I opened my door and got out and walked around to the trunk to get my things. I looked around and saw all the other kids arriving and they looked much happier then I was. Clearly this was something that most people were used to I guess, but being the first time at this Catholic boarding school for me, I was probably gonna stand out like a sore thumb.

“Well son, here we are. You excited?”

“Not at all.”

“Well...you’ll see. This will turn out to be a great experience for you.”

“Right.”

I hugged Tyler as he clung to me for dear life. “Alright Tyler, you got to keep Mom and Dad in line alright. That means making sure you watch TV after bedtime and read after lights out, always eat the last cookie and drink from the bag.”

Dad chuckled in the distance and Tyler laughed for the first time in the whole day. It made me feel much better now, which was always a good thing in these situations. “I love you Spidey”

“Love you Iron Man” He whispered to me

Dad and I embraced although it was less emotional but none the less a nice thing.

I began to back away with my rolling suitcase and backpack while still waving to them and turned around to walk towards the student orientation center. As I entered I noticed how large and elaborate the architecture was. The ceiling was very high and the windows were mostly stain glass. There were crosses everywhere and posters that said “God Loves You” and other sayings. I walked up to the desk where everyone else was gathering.

“Welcome to St. Michael’s College Christian All Boys School. Are you a returning student or first time?”

“First time Sir.”

“Grade?”

“10”

“Name?”

“Trevor Johnson”

“Ah yes here you are. You can make your way to the Freshman dorm located down the hall out the door, and on the left path. Hand them this form and sign it when you get there.”

“Thank you”

I made my way down the hall to the outside courtyard it appeared. There were basketball courts with games going on, a soccer field further down the hill and a baseball diamond as well. On the patio were countless hop scotch courts and four square ones as well. It seemed just like my school back home only we lived here instead. I turned down the left path and approached a smaller 5 story building which was a certainly more modern and less castle like. I entered the dorm and was inside a common room area which had TV’s, couches, chairs, tables, a small cafe, a fridge, a microwave, and an admin desk. I guessed that’s where I had to go and made my way there.

“Hello. My name is Trevor Johnson and I’m checking in.”

“Welcome to St. Michaels College Trevor, can you please sign the form you have.” I took the pen and handed it back to them once I had signed on the indicated line, “Thank you. One moment please.” After a few minutes of typing on the keyboard she spoke to me again. “You’re dorm room is located on the 3rd floor room 315. Here is your student passport which grants you access to the gym, pool, and your dorm room. Enjoy and once again welcome. God be with you.”

“Thank you.”

I departed for the elevator and pressed floor 3. I was surprised by the lack of people in the common room. I only counted a group of 6 at the tables playing cards it looked like. I guess everyone else was outside. I was getting anxious at the thought of my roommate being inside, and one hand it would be nice to just get it out of the way, but on the other hand, it still made me really nervous. Once I got to my floor I walked down the hall to the left and counted the room numbers to myself. ‘301’, ‘302’. well you get the idea, until eventually 315 was here. I entered the student passport card and the door unlocked. I walked in and saw my roommate had already unpacked and claimed his side near the window. I took the next bed and began to open my suitcase when the door opened behind me.

“Oh hello. You must be my roommate. I’m Liam.”

He stuck out his hand for me to shake and I returned my name. “I’m Trevor.”

“Nice to meet you Trevor. I’m guessing your first year right? I don’t recognize you from last year’s classes.”

“Yea this is my first year. Grade 10”

“Well you’ll like it. The nice thing is you already have a friend first day, and your dorm mates become your family.”

“That is good. Because I know no one here ahahaha”

“That’s not true, you know me now hehehe. You want some help unpacking?”

“Sure. That’d be nice.”

We both began to unpack my bags and every movie of mine Liam pulled out he’d go exclaim how much I was awesome because he forgot all his movies and he loves these ones so much. It was a nice feeling. I tried not to let Liam physical features distract me too much but I couldn’t help but admire his just overall cute appearance. His face was really bubbly and cute and his body looked similar to mine. A little bit of a gut but it didn’t take away any points from him. His butt was a sight to behold hehehe and his hands looked so soft. His brown hair was longer than mine but not out of control and eyes were a nice brown colour. His skin was smooth as well. I guess God must really love me if he gave me this treasure to become connected with.

“So are you a sports guy or a tech guy?” He asked me

“I like sports, but mostly a music and tech person.”

“Cool me to. I was just asking because I hope you don’t mind if I listen to music at night or after classes. I have headphones but they suck, so I like to use my speakers.”

“Yea that’s no problem. If we like the same music that would be even better.”

“What music you like?”

“Rap is my favourtie Genre, but I also like Metal, Rock, and some Pop.”

“SAME! Oh wow you are so much better than my last roommate. He hated everything I liked. We were like total opposites ahahaha.”

“So you like Eminem, Of Mice & Men, Linkin Park, Avenged Sevenfold, Greyson Chance maybe?”

“Yep! Not sure who this Greyson Chance person is though.”

“He’s a boy star. Got famous from a Youtube video and got on Ellen, and yea.”

“Ohhh. Sounds like a nice ride then I guess. But yea Pop for me is stuff like Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, early Miley Cyrus, and yea.”

“I like those as well, but not so much Miley. But I did like Hannah Montana on TV”

“Well it’s good you say that because we can watch it on Netflix!”

We continued to bond over the day into the evening. The supper hour was approaching and Liam said I would be joining his “squad” in the cafe. He certainly took all my fears and completely got rid of them with just a simple handshake. ‘God be with you’ I said to myself. He certainly was, I tell you. I can’t wait for the first day of classes now!