Variations on Death - 12. Tachyarrhythmia

During my sabbatical, I assumed the role of shaman, with a daily diet of cannabis from dawn to dusk, a regimen known as "wake-and-bake" among initiates. The holy sacrament of the old religion remains a precursor to spiritual awakening. I imagined powers unseen or poppycock, depending upon one's opinion. I do not remember much of it now. Weed offers a sip of the waters of Lethe, "sweet and blessed forgetfulness, mercy of the gods," so useful to those bedeviled by memory.

What stopped my use was the hand of the goddess, when she gripped my heart with icy fingers, whispering, "You meddle with forces you understand not. Now feel the thing you only observed in others before--tachycardia and arrhythmia--and learn, mortal. Learn to fear death." As my heart sped out of control and out of rhythm, death seemed possible in the very next moment. Everything could stop. This wonderful world that filled my senses could end and not tomorrow, but now. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, death! We are all just hanging by a thread. There is no need to pull the thread from side to side. The thread could break. The thread wants to break, if truth be known. Life is delicate. Just a small alteration in a vein or artery, and I am dead or my reader is dead.

I tell you, death was a frightening thought. Maybe it was just a bout of weedy paranoia, but it could have been something more. I dispelled the black magic by eating. Do you know what pot-smokers mean by "the munchies?" The munchies are the body's way of counteracting the effect of grass. The more calories consumed, the less the trip. Contrariwise, the less food consumed, the higher one remains and for longer periods of time. When a human being chooses to get high, he is listening only to his mind, but not to his body. Weed is not addictive, after all, not in the way that other drugs are. The body could care less about weed. The body doesn't need or want weed. The mind is subject to boredom, but not the body. The mind craves adventure and excitement. The body prefers normalcy. The body does not want to soar into the cosmos along with the mind. The body prefers order, calm, and peace. The body will do whatever it needs to do to restore order. The body and the mind are at war with one another. "So, you wish to get high? Very well then. Eat this ice cream, fool, and an entire box of cookies, and hey, how about some apples, bananas, and oranges!" Who is really the master?

After eating, I went to sleep. When I awoke, I accepted the judgment of the goddess. She had closed the gateway for me and sealed it with a warning. One should heed the admonitions of the wise ones that watch and listen. She said, "Back into the world, mortal, back among the living. There is much that needs doing, much that needs resolving." I do as the Dear Lady bids me, because she is ancient and justified, whereas we humans are young upstarts to existence. One can leave cannabis like a lover, just like picking up one's clothes from the floor and exiting stage left with or without a farewell note. Back into the world I emerged, refreshed and renewed.