Wicked Witch - 1. Wicked Witch

Prompt

Years ago you promised your first born to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get impatient. She starts coaching you on how to get men because she doesn’t want to waste more magic on you without promise of payment. The more time you spend together the more you realize you have a bit of a crush on her. Soon you start sabotaging your dates on purpose to see her again

Amelia knew it was a long shot. In fact, she didn’t really expect it to work at all. So when a woman knocked on her door offering her exactly what she needed she was a little in shock to say the least.

“You don’t look like a witch.”

“And pray tell, how is a witch supposed to look?”

“You know…”

“I’m not sure I do.”

“Well, like stringy hair and warts and a big nose.”

“So...ugly?”

“Yea, but you’re… well you’re actually kind of pretty. No offence.”

“Should I be offended that you don’t find me ugly? Or that you're surprised?”

“No, I mean… Yes? I don’t know.”

“Well, I don’t particularly care about any of that. I assure you, my lack of disfigurement aside, I am a witch and I am capable of doing as you wish. For a price.”

All the myths said the prize was never worth the cost, but Amelia couldn’t think of one thing she wouldn’t give to achieve her goals. There was nothing in the world worth more then her dreams. And really she had nothing left to lose.

“Right. So… what do you want?”

“It’s been 10 years.”

Amelia rushed around her apartment trying to make some semblance of order. She hadn’t been expecting company, especially a very annoyed witch looking for repayment.

“I know.”

“You still owe me payment!”

“I know.”

“I can’t undo what I’ve given you but I can make things very difficult!”

“I know! Look, It’s not like I can just make a baby by myself, it’s takes two, Sabrina.”

“Don’t call me that!”

The two women look away from each other, both stewing in their own thoughts. The witch sighed, things were never this hard in the dark ages. People were practically throwing babies away.

“Look, I’m trying. Really. I just … I have trouble. With men.”

“In what way?”

“In the talking to them way. I’m just… awkward. And I attract creeps.”

“All men are creeps. You are not looking for a boyfriend, just the willy juice. In fact, a relationship would be detrimental, it may cause...complications.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It is. Go to a bar, wear something skimpy and let the first guy to approach you take you home. If you don’t mention protection they won’t either. Nine months and I’ll have my payment.”

Amelia flopped back into her couch, exhausted. She had managed to wrangle a date every weekend for the last couple months with no luck. Either the men bowed out before dessert or she was so uncomfortable she couldn’t bring herself to go home with them.

“Can’t you just … I don’t know magic me the ability to talk to a man?”

“I haven’t gotten paid for the last spell and you want another one?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“A hundred women a year get knocked up by accident and you can’t even get a man to take you home.”

The women looked down in shame and the witch felt bad. It wasn’t like Amelia was unattractive, and the witch hadn’t meant to infer there was something wrong with her. But 10 years was a long time to wait for payment for a spell.

“Look, I didn’t mean it that way. Some people just aren’t good with the opposite sex. Maybe there is a way I can help you move things along, hmm?”

“You would do that?”

“How else would I get my payment?”

“Thanks, Sabrina.”

The witch rolled her eye. “Don’t call me that.”

Amelia looked in the mirror and fidgeted. She was showing more skin than she ever had and her makeup was thick and bright.

“You’re sure this will work?”

“Well, you look like a hooker. Men like that sort of thing.”

The witch had to hold back a laugh at the cute way the women scrunched her nose in disgust.

“Do they really?”

“I don’t know. It seems to work for other women.”

“So like this?”

“Yea, just flip it like that. Men love that flippy hair thing.”

“Are you sure?”

The witch shrugged, her sister had ensured her hair flipping was flirting 101. Her sister knew much more about men then she did. “I don’t know it seems to work for other women.”

“Hehehehe. How’s that?”

“Men love the giggle.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know, sure.”

“You don’t really know much do you?”

“About men? No.”

“Well, you’re not much help then are you, Sabrina?”

The witch frowned. She really wasn’t. Amelia still hadn’t been able to land herself a baby, and yet she found herself less than disappointed at the continued lack of payment. For some reason she continued to show up at the women’s house offering her poor flirting tips and makeup advice. The witch wasn’t willing to analyze why, but her sister had had many obviously far fetched ideas.

“Why do you insist on calling me that?”

“It seems to work for other witches.”

The witch hid her smile behind her tea cup. Obviously far fetched.

The women twirled her straw in her glass and nodded absentmindedly as her date drowned on. He seemed nice enough but he didn’t make her heart pound. Not like certain other people did.

“I’m sorry, am I boring you?”

“What?”

“You seem a little lost in your own world over there.”

“Oh, I supposed I’m a little distracted.”

“Maybe we should call it a night?”

“Okay.”

Amelia had stopped caring about her failed dates long ago. She only continued going on them so she had an excuse to have her witch… err the witch… come over so they could laugh together about the strange men Amelia was finding. She looked forward to their bi-weekly meetings more than anything. It had been two years since she started coming around regularly, and even though she groused about her payment the women knew it was just formality now. They had become pretty good friends. They ghosted over the latest round of dates quickly before moving on to chatting about other things. Sometimes they with snuggle close and share a blanket and bowl of popcorn as they watched a movie. Sabrina had a liking for obscure films about ugly wicked witches.

“I’m never getting that baby, am I?”

The witch pulled back and ran her hands through the hair of the beautiful women perched on her lap.

“You can’t blame me, Sabrina, you are just as hopeless with men as I am.”

“Yes, well, men never seemed to hold my interest.” The witch gasped softly as soft lips brushed over her throat and the women's warm breath tickled her skin as she spoke.

“Is there any other form of payment you would be willing to accept?”

“Well, usually payments are non negotiable…”

“But…?”

“But in your case, I think I can make an exception.”

There was no more talking for the rest of the night.

“Congratulations ladies, the adoption has been confirmed. Your paperwork is all set. You're going to be Mothers.”

“Well, I guess you’re getting your baby after all.”

The witch smiled softly and ran the back of her finger across her wife's cheek.

“I guess you’re right. I love you, Amelia.”

“I love you too, Sabrina.”