Alexander's Prompts - 3. Prompt #526

“Damn, where the hell am I supposed to go now?” Jake said as he slid into the driver's seat of his car. He had been excommunicated yesterday. He absolutely couldn't be gay, yet he was. All his life he was told that homosexuality was a vile, evil sin. A sickness of the heart that would separate him from God, a condition that would corrode his soul. He had believed that to. He believed it when he denied his own feelings in high school. He believed it when he suppressed his lusts at the Mission Training Center. He even believed it when he had kissed Tom in the laundry room, but after he had, he couldn't believe it any more. He couldn't deny what he was—who he was.

Jake cried as he started up the car. His companion, Elder Jeffers, had caught him in that laundry room. He was sure that Jeffers had been spying on him for some time. He knew it was against the rules to be anywhere without your companion, well excluding the toilet or shower, but he just had to see Tom. He had started getting to close to him, it was more than wanting to spread the good news, that much was obvious to all the other Elders. He was drawn to that man—Tom.

Jake drove into Salt Lake City and tried to get funds from the bank. His account had been frozen. “Fuck!” Jake exclaimed. He should have expected that really. At least his car was in his name, it always had been—it couldn't be reported stolen because one can't steal their own property. He hadn't moved his bank accounts to solely his name before he went on mission. A stupid mistake, he thought to himself. He would have to figure something out, he would eventually need gas and food. He hadn't decided where he was going, where he was going yet anyway. He knew he couldn't go back. Back to excommunication, shame and worst of all the very real possibility of being sent to a facility to 'cure' him of his homosexuality. His father couldn't be seen to be weak in front of the congregation, Jake knew he was very likely to be sent to 'that place' if he went back. He wasn't sure that homosexuality was something that could be cured, but he didn't want to find out first hand—he'd seen people go to these places relatively normal and happy only to come out far worse than when they went in. His neighbor had a boy a few years older than he was, they had sent him to one of those places. That neighbor boy hanged himself not long after coming home.

Jake counted up all the money he had been able to scrounge up around the house. He had around five hundred dollars, if he was careful he could be half way across the country by the time he needed money. He had to just be careful to only spend his money on gas, pray he didn't get a flat or have an other problem and not eat much. He sat in the bank parking lot for a while thinking about where he should go. Should he head east, across the plains to the swamps of Dixie, the scene of the crime as it were? Should he head west and seek his fortune in Oregon or Washington? Jake wanted to pray, but was afraid to. He wasn't sure if God existed, but if he did, he would surely be angry with Jake. He sat there for about a quarter of an hour trying to calm his mind, trying to think, then he made his decision, he would go east.

Jake started the car and got to I-80. He drove until he reached I-215 and eventually got on I-15 and was headed south out of Salt Lake City. He knew where he was going, part of him expected that that is right where the people he was running from would look for him, part of him knew Tom would be there in Mobile, Alabama. He filled up with gas in Spanish Fork, Utah and spent as little money he could on a gallon of water and a map. He studied it. Once he had a route in mind he drove and drove. It felt like forever until he eventually crossed out of Utah near Dove Creek, Colorado. He filled up again there, had some water and studied his map.

He hoped beyond hope that when he got to Mobile that Tom would be there, would take him in, would help him. He didn't expect love, he wondered if he was beyond love. After all the two people who were supposed to love him unconditionally had just demonstrated that their love most certainly had conditions. He had been told that God loved everyone, and yet as much as he thought he had felt that before it was missing, had been missing ever since he realized he couldn't deny who he was. Jake cried. He didn't want to but the tears wouldn't stop. The sun was starting to rise on a new day and he was tired. He had taken off in the late evening the previous day. He was hungry but he knew he couldn't rest, and couldn't eat. He drank on his water jug, he would have to make it last. He drove for hours on US-491 until he came to Gallup, New Mexico where he gassed up again, and got onto I-40 headed east. He would take I-40 for as long as he could. He knew it wasn't the most efficient route but he figured he wouldn't get lost if he stuck mainly to major highways and the interstate. Back east the interstate system was much more connected, there were more and different ways to get onto it.

Jake stopped at a rest area just inside the Texas state line. He hadn't eaten all day and he was hungry, but more importantly he was exhausted. He needed rest. He parked at the rest area and used the restroom there. The place was deserted, he was glad it was. Jake washed himself as best as he could at the sink in the public restroom. It cooled him from the heat of the desert and got some of the sweat smell off him. It wasn't as good as a shower but he'd worry about that later. He left the restroom and went back to his car. He curled up in his back seat and rested for a few hours, he didn't sleep well but it was enough.

After he got up, Jake continued to take I-40 east. He stopped in Shawnee, Oklahoma and got gas again, he also finally ate stopping at an Ihop and ate a very large meal. He hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours and was starting to feel faint from lack of food. There he drank coffee for the first time. Since he had been expelled from the Church there was no point in upholding their rules on caffeine. He didn't care much for the coffee, he was turned off by the bitter flavor but the alertness he felt from the caffeine made it worth it. Finished with his meal and two cups of coffee, he got back on I-40 and drove till he reached Memphis, Tennessee. He made a stop there to get gas and to check his map. He was running low on money and his only hope as that Tom would definitely help him out. He only had a hundred dollars left, and he had no idea what he'd do for money once he got to Mobile.

Jake drove into the night without stopping. It was close to five o'clock in the morning when he reached Memphis and got onto I-22. He drove south east until he reached Birmingham, Alabama. He stopped for gas and got himself more coffee there and got onto I-65. He knew it was a bit out of the way to take this route, but he was confident that he wouldn't get lost on the interstate. He drove through Montgomery, Alabama, and staying on I-65 drove south west to Mobile. He was so close he could feel it. However, his heart kept giving him a sinking feeling. He couldn't place it. He made it into Mobile early the next day, he was tired, hungry and smelly, but he pressed on. Thankfully, his sense of direction was good as it had been only days since he had been sent home from his mission in disgrace. He drove to the apartment complex on the north side of town where the Mission had been. He checked the apartment he had shared with five other elders, it was quiet as a tomb. Almost as if they had packed up and moved out seconds after they had dragged him to the airport for his miserable journey to what was once home—but now was just a place where his parents lived.

Jake examined the parking lot, Tom's car wasn't in his usual spot. He wondered where he was, normally he would be home at this hour. Went back to his car, got in, and waited. He waited what could have only been hours but it felt to him like weeks. At around four o'clock that morning a dark car pulled up and parked in the spot that Tom usually parked. Two men got out, one of them was Tom, the other a man looked to be in his mid-twenties, a few years older than both he and Tom. Jake got out of his car and approached them. “Tom, I--” he started to say, but was interrupted.

“Jacob,” Tom said, he then hiccoughed, he was clearly drunk. “What are you doing here? I heard they sent you away,” he said.

“Yeah, they did, I need--” Jake was interrupted again.

“Tom is this the guy you bet with Luke about?” the man in his mid-twenties asked. Tom hiccoughed again.

“Yeah that's him.” Tom said. Jake began to cry, his heart breaking in two. He had thought Tom had loved him, but he found out he was just a bet, his emotions just a play thing. He turned to leave, he had no idea where he would go, what he would do. The guy in his mid-twenties managed to get Tom into his apartment.

“I'll come get you to pick up your car in a few hours after you sober up you drunk.” he said at Tom's door. “Hey, kid!” Jake turned around. He examined the man carefully. “Listen, what Tom did to you, it ain't right. Looks like you could use a bite to eat, and well I'd like the company.”

Jake wanted to refuse but something told him not to. He couldn't tell you what that something was, but his instincts told him to trust this guy. “I don't have much--” Jake started to say.

“My treat, man. Seriously, Tom told me what he was doing. I never liked it. I told him he was going to either be hurt or hurt someone badly.” the man said.

“Yeah, he hurt someone alright.” Jake said tearing up. He felt like crawling up into a ball and crying till he passed out from exhaustion. The man pulled him into an embrace and held him tightly.

“Look, not all of us are like that. For every Tom out there, there are two really good guys. You just have to find them,” he said softly.

“How do you know Tom?” Jake asked.

“My brother is his boss, he runs the barbecue place up the road. I'm Eric, Eric Gusterson.” he said.

“Ah, Mr. Gusterson--” Jake said.

“What can't accept my hospitality? You can. And it's Eric. Mr. Gusterson is my father.” Eric said. “Listen, tell you what, why don't you follow me in your car, I know a place that's open all night. We can get you some grub, and I can get to know you better. I might even know of a place you can stay, at least until you get on your feet,” Eric said.

Jake threw caution to the wind, it wasn't like he would get any better offers. “I think I'll take you up on that,” he said. The two separated.

“Listen, just follow me in your car and we'll take it from there,” Eric said. Jake nodded. Eric got into his car and pulled out an waited for Jake to follow. They drove like that for several blocks until Eric led Jake to a greasy spoon style diner. Eric got out and went inside and took a seat, Jake followed.

From that day forward Jake and Eric were the best of friends.

Fin.