Turnabout is Fair Fae - 1. Turnabout is Fair Fae

“Will you shut that disgusting thing up? I swear I’m going to kill it before we get anywhere near our prize.”

“I’m trying! It’s too stupid to know any better.” Shade pressed his slimy brown hand over the mouth of the crying infant fae, who struggled in his tight grip. He hoped it would be enough to stifle the baby’s cries. He knew from experience that Briar Toadthistle would make good on his word, and he didn’t feel like explaining yet another failed mission to his king.

“Well try harder!” Briar swung his head toward his companion, causing greasy strands of black hair to fly around his mud-colored, spotted head and stick to his long, narrow neck. He bared his sharp teeth as he hissed, flattening his ears against his skull. “Or I’ll make it stop crying myself!” He raised a clawed hand in a threatening gesture.

“Back off! You heard what the king said would happen if we fail again. I, for one, would like to keep my head, thank you.” Shade angled his body away from his irritated companion.

Briar exhaled a quick burst of fetid air and turned to the large oak tree before him. He raised his gnarled hands and extended a clawed finger. Harsh, guttural sounds emerged from his throat as he traced symbols in the air. The middle of the tree glowed dark purple, then turned translucent, revealing a forest the polar opposite of the one the two fae currently occupied. It was as colorful as theirs was dark, with leaves of red, orange, yellow, and brown. The dejected trees of this part of Faery sported black leaves and dangling moss that dripped with an ooze it was better to avoid.

“C’mon, let’s get this over with. I can’t stand the smell of this thing any longer.” Briar strode through the opening in the tree, followed closely by Shade and the now-quiet infant. The journey between worlds was remarkably quick, producing only a slight tingling on the slimy skin of the two travelers. It was hardly worth noticing, especially since this was not their first time through the magical doorway.

Shade pulled the tattered cloth surrounding the baby fae closer around its head. He narrowed his eyes and put his free hand to his forehead in an effort to lessen the pain the light from the human world inflicted on his sensitive orbs. They had arrived at twilight, and the last remnants of the sun tinged the sky pink through the gaps in the foliage in the wooded area where they stood.

Briar scented the air, then pointed to his left. “That way.”

It wasn’t long before the two creatures stood on the outskirts of the forest and stared at the expanse of human housing across from them.

“It’s different from when we were here last,” Shade said. “There’s so much more of them.”

“Time moves differently in the human realm,” Briar replied.

“How do we know which dwelling is the right one?”

“It’s on the edge of the settlement, near the forest. Malkin said he marked it with a ward so we’d know where to go. Let’s get this over with. All these colors are giving me a headache.”

They skirted along the edge of the wood as darkness fell, until they had to leave their cover in order to approach the house. Before leaving the safety of the woods, Shade pulled two cloaks out of the worn leather sack slung over his shoulder and handed one to Briar.

Briar scowled and held the offensive garment in front of him.

“We have to wear them, Briar. We don’t look human enough to pretend we’re wearing costumes.” Shade set the baby down on the damp ground and fastened the cloak around his bony shoulders. He didn’t trust Briar with his charge for even one second. The infant waved its arms and legs and made loud noises expressing its displeasure at being left alone.

Briar took a step toward the prone baby and raised his foot. Shade scooped up the now-wailing creature and turned his back to his companion. “Let’s go,” he said as he left the cover of the woods and headed toward the house. He pulled the hood over his head and held the youngling inside the folds of the cloak. His swaying movements appeared to placate the baby, who ceased its cries.

There were few humans about at that time of night, and the two fae easily avoided them. They were almost to their destination when Briar stopped abruptly, causing Shade to run into him and propel him forward a few more steps.

“Fool! Watch where you’re going!”

“Don’t stop right in front of me!”

The arguing set the infant crying again, which drew looks from a group of humans across the street from the two strange creatures.

“Why did you stop? We need to keep moving!” Shade glanced nervously at the humans, who had slowed and were gesturing toward them. He bounced the baby on his hip, in an effort to soothe it.

“Get rid of that thing. We have a new target.” Briar started forward again.

“What are you talking about? I’m not getting rid of it until we’ve swapped it for the human child.”

Briar turned and darted quickly toward Shade, slashing at the infant with his grimy claws. Shade’s reflexes were quick, but not quick enough, as the dagger-like appendages tore through his arm. He yelped in pain as he careened away from his attacker. The youngling wailed, sensing the danger.

“Knock it off! I’m not letting you stop this mission! What is your problem?”

Briar gestured across the street to the small group who were now having an animated discussion. “The one with the yellow hair is coming with us.”

Shade scowled. “Find a plaything on your own time. Let’s go.” He started forward, stopping when Briar grabbed hold of his cloak.

“I need your help. Get rid of that thing. I’m not kidding.” Shade’s heart pounded in his chest. He knew his companion well enough to know the threat wasn’t idle. The dripping ichor from his arm was a painful reminder not to cross his friend.

“You don’t need my help. Let go. I’m going to make the switch, with or without you.” He jerked free of Briar’s grasp and hurried down the street, hoping the crazy fae wouldn’t follow. He didn’t dare look behind him.

Shade managed to swap the changeling for the human infant with no trouble, despite the lack of Briar’s help. He breathed a sigh of relief when he passed through the magic oak back into Faery. He hurried to the king’s abode, eager to be rid of his burden. Thankfully, the monarch was in a good mood, and pleased to finally be in possession of the human child his bumbling minions had failed to procure on several prior occasions.

Shade felt like skipping home, but suppressed the urge. Dark fae didn’t skip. He stopped dead and hissed, baring his claws when a brown figure leapt from the woods directly in front of him. A familiar foul stench wafted toward him on the breeze.

“What do you want?” he asked, scowling.

Briar hopped in place and grinned, revealing black, uneven teeth. He snatched Shade’s arm and tugged, attempting to draw him down a side path. Shade hissed in pain and yanked free of his friend’s grasp.
“Watch it! Those scratches really hurt!”

“I have something to show you. C’mon!” Briar scuttled down the path, then stopped and gestured for Shade to follow.

Shade grumbled, but shuffled after his companion. While he’d rather have headed home to rest, he knew Briar well enough to realize the crabby fae would just pester him until he gave in. It wasn’t far to Briar’s cave on the edge of a noxious swamp. Shade was jealous of his friend’s piece of prime land. It was a slice of paradise in their part of Faery. The cave was framed by the hanging moss of slimewort willows, creating a natural doorway to the dank interior. The entrance to the cave was accessible by following a path of stones hidden just under the viscous surface of the dark water.

There was a way to bypass the stones; however, while more pleasant, it also posed a high risk of being eaten by the swamp’s inhabitants. Shade loved swimming in the brackish water, but didn’t feel like fending off its toothy denizens. His foot slid off a slimy rock and into the water with a loud splash. He cursed, knowing only seconds remained before he became glurmlurker food.

Shade barreled into the enclosure and smacked into Briar’s back. The agitated fae shoved him roughly against the wall. “Idiot! Stop running into me!” Briar hissed, flattening his ears.

Shade rubbed his arm and scowled. “What’s so damn important it couldn’t wait until after dinner?”

Briar reached into a worn, wooden bucket and threw a rotting fish at Shade. “Here, if you’re so damn hungry. Now come look at this!” He grimaced—his attempt at a grin—and strode to the back of the small enclosure. A rectangular structure stood against the cold stone, covered with the rough hide of a goliath bog-stag.

Shade gobbled the fish noisily as Briar yanked the hide off the wooden cage, letting it fall to the filthy floor. He slunk forward as fish guts slid down his chin and onto the floor, to be ground into the dirt by his foot a second later. He blinked slowly and sniffed, inhaling the scent of the cowering creature huddled in the corner.

“This is what you almost got us killed for? I had to talk the king out of sending his guards after you, you know. You owe me.”

“What’s the big deal? You completed the mission, right?”

Shade snorted, producing a spray that landed on Briar’s shirt. “Yes, I completed the mission, no thanks to you. I had to hide under the human infant’s sleeping enclosure when the humans that spawned it came into the room. At least they didn’t stay long, and I made the switch quickly and got out of there.”

“Who cares? It’s done isn’t it?” Briar moved closer to the cage, causing its occupant to curl into a ball and cower in fear.

“How’d you separate him from the herd?”

“Simple. I followed him until he left on his own and captured him in his own dwelling. He tried to put up a fight, but was no match for me.”

“What are those red blotches all over him? I didn’t think humans came in spotted.”

“That happened after the slimewort moss touched him. Apparently it burns humans.”

“Why is he naked?”

The human peered at the two fae--his bright blue eyes wide with terror. Briar laughed—a harsh, guttural sound.

“It’s easier to play that way.”

Shade shuddered. Briar’s playthings didn’t tend to last long. Shade didn’t see the appeal. Humans’ pale, delicate flesh and weak constitution weren’t attractive to him. Give me a solid froggiwumpus any day over a puny human, he thought.

“So now you showed me. I’m going to go sleep now. I haven’t had any rest since we left yesterday.”

Briar frowned. “I thought you’d want to play with my new toy.”

“It’s very… nice.” Shade yawned, his mouth gaping wide. The stench from his breath caused the human male to project chunky liquid from its mouth. “You enjoy it. I’m too tired to play.”

“Fine. More fun for me.”

Shade exited the cave without much thought about the captured human. His comfy bed of dried slimewort moss called to him.

*****

“There it is! See, I told you he was hiding a human.”

“Is it supposed to look like that? It doesn’t look so good.”

“What did you expect? Briar’s a real sick bastard.”

“Is it dead? It’s not moving.”

The caged human moaned and shuffled his limbs when one of the three fae surrounding his prison poked him with a stick.

“Guess not.”

A group of three young fae stood around the cage, gawking at the helpless captive.

“Help me,” he whispered. His throat was so dry it was all he could manage. He reached out to the closest creature, hoping it was friendlier than his sadistic captor.

The fae recoiled in disgust. “Help you?” He shook his head. “Briar would rip us to shreds if we did anything to his toy.”

The caged man slumped dejectedly. He would have cried had his body still been able to produce tears.

“This is boring. I know where there’s a ton of froggiwumpus tadpoles. Let’s go hunting. I’m hungry.”

*****

Time no longer held meaning for the helpless human. Daylight didn’t penetrate the thick moss that obscured the cave’s entrance, so unless Briar saw fit to light candles, the only illumination in the stifling enclosure was from strange plant-like material that lined the walls. It was a cross between lichen and moss and glowed with dark blue bioluminescence. He hated it. Especially when it reflected off the cold, wet skin of his tormentor.

It could have been one week or one year since his capture. All he knew was that enough time had passed to allow his ribs to protrude and his wounds to fester. He wasn’t sure how much longer he had left, or even if he wanted to try and survive. The pain was becoming less, not more, easy to bear.

Briar had been particularly…attentive of late, leaving the poor human little time to heal. Thankfully, that day he had overheard Briar and Shade making plans that would keep them away for most of the day. Briar was a practitioner of the dark arts, and a thief as well. And the human had been paying attention, despite his physical condition.

The hide that had covered his cage was long abandoned by the lazy fae, so the human had a perfect view of Briar’s actions. He made note of which plants and vials produced what effects and practiced the guttural sounds the evil creature made when performing the spells. Especially the spell he used when planning thievery. That spell caused the vile thing to change his appearance.

The human knew he was running out of time if he had any hope of escaping. It wouldn’t be long before he wouldn’t have the strength to leave. The latch to his cage was easy enough to operate. Briar didn’t secure it nearly as well as he should have. For what he guessed was over the course of several days, the human had left his enclosure and gathered the items he needed, a little at a time. He only needed one more thing, and then he’d be ready.

The human feigned sleep when Shade arrived, hoping that the presence of Briar’s friend would distract him enough to leave him alone. Thankfully that proved true and after the two monsters were gone, the man slipped the latch on his cage and rummaged around Briar’s sleeping area for what he needed. Due to his weakened state, it took him longer than he expected to retrieve it. He returned to his enclosure and lay on his side, panting from exertion. When he recovered, he assembled all the herbs, potions, and miscellaneous items he’d acquired. He was ready. The plan would go into effect the next time Briar entered his cage. He grinned. This was going to be sweet.

*****

The human opened one of his eyes slightly when he heard the faint creak of the cage’s latch and scraping noise as the door was dragged across the dirt floor of the cave. He clutched the vial containing the mixture he had assembled the night before in his hand, and tried to still his trembling body. The element of surprise was essential for his plan to work.

Briar climbed on top of him and moved to pin the human’s arms above his head. The man’s bright blue eyes opened and stared into Briar’s mud brown orbs with an intensity that caused the fae to hesitate. It was enough to allow the human to break free of his tormentor’s grasp and spray the contents of the vial on Briar before spraying himself.

“My hair becomes yours. Your skin becomes mine. Essence to essence, for a limited time,” the human recited in the harsh, guttural language of the fae.

Briar screamed and writhed in agony as his features contorted and limbs morphed into the semblance of his plaything. He held his hand in front of him and stared at the pale appendage. “What have you done?” he yelled.

The pain of his transformation was nothing compared to what the evil fae had inflicted on him, so the human recovered first and scuttled to the front of the cage. He had hoped to trap Briar inside, but the fae was quick and half out the door when the human tried to slam the door shut. Briar growled and clawed at the transformed human, but his efforts were for naught, seeing as he now possessed dull, human fingernails.

The human grinned as he raked his claws down Briar’s side. The fae howled and clutched at his side. Briar’s doppelganger wanted to inflict as much pain as possible on the creature who had tormented him for so long, but decided it was more prudent to use the distraction to escape. He ran through the curtain of slimemoss and stopped at the edge of the swamp.

“Son of a bitch!” he cursed. Going into the murky water didn’t seem any better than dealing with Briar Toadthistle.

Briar appeared at the cave entrance and grinned. “Get back inside,” he hissed.

“No.” The human grabbed the startled fae and held a claw to his neck. “Show me the way out, or I’ll slit your throat.”

For all his bluster, Briar was, in truth, a coward at heart. His eyes widened and he sputtered nonsense as a response. The human shoved him forward. Briar stepped onto the hidden path and the two made their way about halfway down the path before encountering Shade.

“What’s going on here? Why are bringing your plaything out? You know you’ll get in trouble if anyone sees it.”

“It’s me, you fool!” Briar shouted, then yelped as the human drew a claw across his neck.

“It’s tricking you,” the man replied. “I’m sick of my toy and want to get rid of it.”

Shade narrowed his eyes and stared at the strange duo. Something wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t have time to deal with it. “Well then get rid of it. We have new orders from the king.”

Briar’s eyes widened and he shook with fear. “No! You idiot! Can’t you see—” His words were cut off by the slimy hand covering his mouth.

“C’mon! Throw it to the glurmlurkers so we can go! The king wants us to finish this as soon as possible.”

Despite assuming Briar’s appearance, the human was still weak, and tossing the fae into the water was not an easy feat. Shade exhaled in frustration at the struggling duo and chose not to think too hard about why his friend was struggling so much against a puny human. He strode over to the pair and grabbed the human by its neck and threw it into the water.

It only took about five seconds before the glurmlurkers descended upon him. His scream of agony faded into a gurgle as they dragged him under the water.

Shade gestured toward the human who appeared to be his friend. “Let’s go. We have to pick up another changeling and head back to the human realm. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting pretty sick of that place.” He headed down the path, through the swamp.

The human grinned and hurried after him. This had gone even better than he expected. They stopped by a large, gnarled tree, where Shade picked up an infant fae who looked remarkably human. Shade maintained a brisk pace through the forest, causing the human to struggle to keep up. His body was at its breaking point, and he had no idea how much longer the spell would last. He had a feeling he’d prefer the glurmlurkers over whatever Shade would do to him if he found out his deception.

Shade finally stopped by a large oak tree. The human stood with his hands on his knees, gasping for air. The fae bounced the infant on his hip and narrowed his eyes at his companion. “What’s wrong with you? You haven’t said one word this whole time and now you look like you’re going to drop dead. Do the spell so we can rid of this thing.”

Panic flooded through the human. He had no idea what spell Shade was talking about.

Shade scowled. “Oh forget it. Move.” He shouldered past the human, causing him to take a step backward to maintain his balance. He raised his hand and moved it a pattern while uttering a harsh chant. A glowing purple entrance appeared in the middle of the tree, and Shade didn’t hesitate before stepping into it and disappearing.

The human Briar swallowed, then followed the creature before him. Upon entering the doorway, he immediately felt dizzy and nauseous. After several seconds, he emerged in a clearing in the middle of a forest. He crumpled to his knees and vomited.

“You better not get me sick. You probably picked something up from that stupid human you insisted on keeping. You better not ditch me again. Now c’mon. Let’s finish this so we can get back.” Shade headed down a forest path.

The human stood and debated whether he should follow Shade or run the opposite way. Without knowing his surroundings, he decided it was safer to stick with Shade until they reached civilization. It was easy to get lost in the woods, and the human didn’t think he would survive the night out in the elements. He trudged behind Shade, stumbling and panting, trying to keep up with the fast-moving fae. They reached the edge of the woods and he leaned on his arms against a tree, sides heaving as he gasped for air. His heart pounded when he saw the streak of pale skin showing in patches against Briar’s brown coloring. The spell was wearing off.

Shade glared at the human with narrowed eyes. “I should have left you in Faery. You’re useless today. Spending so much time with your plaything made you weak. If you make us fail this mission, the king won’t have to kill you. I’ll do it myself.” He hissed, causing the infant to start wailing.

The human realized he was out of time. He either escaped now or never. There was a house not too far from where they stood. Hopefully he could make it there while Shade was distracted by calming the young fae. He pushed off the tree and quietly headed out of the woods towards the dark house.

“What are you doing? We need to disguise ourselves!”

The human cursed, then sprinted for the house. He made it halfway before his legs crumpled and he tumbled to the ground. It was over. The ravages inflicted by Briar had taken their toll. He gasped and clawed at the earth, trying to reach safety despite his physical condition.

Shade sauntered over and stood over him, gloating. “A glamour, huh? I should have guessed you weren’t Briar. I’m pretty impressed you figured out how to work the spell. Briar always thought humans were stupider than they are. Serves him right that one got the better of him.” He paused. “I should kill you for making me kill my friend. But I don’t really have the time and you’re dying anyway. Besides, now I can live in Briar’s cave so I suppose that’s worth something.” Shade stepped over the prone man and continued on his mission.

Froth bubbled from the human’s mouth, ebbing and flowing as he laughed. Even if he was rescued, no one would believe his story. He wasn’t sure if he cared if someone found him at this point or not. All he wanted was some measure of peace and for the pain to stop. He closed his eyes. Sleep would take care of that.