Detour - 2. Chapter 2

BLAIR POV

Surprisingly, it wasn’t the snoring that woke him up, but rather the sudden kick at his stomach. Blair jolted awake, sitting up in a panic. Oreo again? She wasn’t allowed on the bed, but Alex had a soft spot for her and allowed her to get away with things he wasn’t supposed to. Half-asleep, his mind latched on to that name: Alex. It seemed to run on repeat in his head these days.

Something was off. Blair’s body ached, and when he finally got his eyes to open, he found himself staring directly at the television beside his bed instead of the wardrobe in front of it. Had he fallen asleep sideways? Confused, he glanced around. His gaze fell on Alex.

Alex somehow managed to look so vibrant even in his sleep. He was curled up at the head of the bed, also in an awkward position. Slowly, it came back to him - they’d been trying to pull an all-nighter for a 48-round game of Mario Kart. Alex’s idea, obviously.

Blair took a moment to just stare. He wasn’t sure why he needed to stare to begin with, since Alex wasn’t doing anything particularly interesting. In fact, he looked ridiculous. Yet something about the sight did strange things to his heart. He wanted to just sit and watch him for hours.

That was odd. Really odd. Blair shook his head and leaned over to shake Alex awake, a little rougher than usual.

“I didn’t steal your Beats, Matt, stop,” Alex grumbled, sitting up slowly. He squinted at Blair for a moment. “Dude, what are you doing in my bed?”

“This is my bed,” Blair pointed out.

Alex glanced around. “Damn it! Mario Kart. I told you we should’ve had coffee. Look, let’s just accept the fact that I won regardless of what the game says.”

He hopped off the bed and stretched. His shirt rode up just enough to reveal a sliver of smooth, creamy skin. Blair immediately looked away, cheeks growing hot. He searched the bed for his phone, finding it under a pillow. There were about ten texts from Harrie.

Harrie: Hey

Harrie: I know you set up five alarms but you told me to remind you about orientation today just in case

Harrie: I’m on my way back from spin class already

Harrie: Sorry I just think it’s funny that I get to tell people I’m coming back from spin class

Harrie: Tell Alex I’m bringing him coffee

“I gotta start getting ready,” Blair said, staring at the blanket. “My alarm’s about to go off at any moment.”

Alex’s bright mood dimmed a little bit, almost unnoticeably. “I totally forgot. So when does orientation end?”

It’d been weeks since Alex found out about Edgewood. They hadn’t talked about it since. Alex tried, a couple of times, to ask about the extracurriculars and classes Blair planned on taking, but Blair could never say more than a couple sentences about it. He knew he needed to be better than this, rather than saddle Alex with all his issues, but every time the topic came up, his throat closed up and his chest tightened.

“I dunno. Like four, maybe?”

“So you’ll be back by five?”

“I guess?”

“Think you’ll make it to Matt’s party?”

Matt was leaving for college that Sunday, so he was throwing a last-minute "party". It couldn't really be considered a party, since Alex’s father would probably be there, and only a few people were coming. But still.

“Hopefully,” Blair said. “By the way, it’s not a party if it’s starting at two.”

“Yeah, whatever. What're you guys even doing if it’s taking all day?”

“Speeches and tours in the morning. Then lunch. But I checked the schedule and there’s, like, five hours of ‘bonding activities’. Whatever the fuck that means.”

“Ooh. Kinky.” Alex grinned. “Just don't bring any fluffy Chewbacca underwear. That'll get you kicked out of the orgy.”

“I’m not going if you keep talking,” Blair warned.

“Fine. I know it sounds boring, but we can just hang out in my room. I think Dom’s bringing something.” Alex sounded a little too innocent towards the end of that sentence.

“I’m not drinking anything he brings.”

“Dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about? You have something against Pepsi?” Alex gave him a sweet smile. “Anyways. Excited for orientation?”

Blair raised an eyebrow, but decided to let the weak diversion pass. “For the last time, I’m not excited. It’s just learning about the school, knowing where your classes are. Most of the students went to middle school there, so they probably won’t even go.”

Alex grinned. “You’re excited.”

Blair shrugged, though he did smile a bit. “It’s different. Edgewood’s one of the best schools for Mock Trial competitions. They literally have the most wins of any school in the National Mock Trial Championship.”

“Wow, really?” Alex asked, though he probably couldn’t care less. Blair knew him well enough.

“Four wins in first place, three in second.”

Alex just stared at him. “You memorized that. That particular fact was worthy of memorization.”

“And they have a fake courtroom,” Blair continued, ignoring him. “If you get into the attorney role in the Edgewood team, you’re basically a shoe-in for pre-college legal programs. I can literally start taking Harvard law courses in high school.”

The words practically flew out of Blair’s mouth in his excitement. Alex looked like he wanted to laugh.

“You talk about college the way Dom talks about cheerleaders,” Alex said. “You should give your brain to science.”

“Okay, fine. Maybe I am a little excited.”

“A little? Whatever you say, Elle Woods.”

“I hope I can see the courtroom today.”

“You should sneak me in with you,” Alex said. “I’ll gel my hair back and say shit like, ‘My father will hear about this’.”

“Please don’t do that accent ever again. Aren’t you going to spend some time with Matt today since he’s leaving tomorrow?”

“Oh. Ew,” Alex said, slumping back in his seat. “I already had a name planned … Theodore Vanderbilt the Third.”

“Well, there’ll be tons of Mock Trial competitions. Friends and family get to watch those, so you can try out your cosplay there.”

“Only if you promise to show up in a leather pink dress.”

Confused, Blair blinked at him. Alex’s face flamed up.

“You know — Legally Blonde.”

“Oh. Did you know that movie’s actually about the cultural differences between old money and new money?”

“No, Blair. It’s about a girl being discriminated against for being blonde. Everyone knows that. But she proves that blondes can be smart. It’s a very important movie for us, you know.”

“Right, my mistake,” Blair said, rolling his eyes.

“You need to watch that movie again if you want to become a lawyer,” Alex said, giggling. “I think she was a criminal defense lawyer too, just like you wanna be. You can learn a thing or two from her.”

“My new role model,” Blair deadpanned.

He smiled as he watched Alex laugh, but the ache had returned, worse than before. “It’s too bad you can’t come,” Blair said before he could stop himself.

Muted by the sudden seriousness in his voice, Alex stopped laughing. He shrugged, staring at the television.

“Maybe I can transfer,” he said, although they both knew it was too late for that. “How much is tuition?”

“45,000.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Alex said. “If I had that kind of money, I’d just camp out on a yacht until the day I die.”

The Lisles left their kids a significant amount of money when they passed. Alex knew that, but he didn’t know exactly how much. If they could afford college prices for a high school, then Blair must be kinda loaded.

“Well, with the scholarship, it’s not that high.”

“I’d buy an island and live out the rest of my days there. And then I’d hunt people like the guy in that story did. The weird one you kept talking about last month.”

Blair huffed. “I get it. So you’re going back to your house?”

Alex’s shoulders dropped. “Yeah. I think Matt’s still sleeping though, so I’m gonna call him a hundred times to wake him up. I made my ringtone on his phone a porn audio and he always has his notifications loud as hell. It’ll be great. So I guess I’ll see you at the party?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be there.”

Parking in Edgewood Preparatory Academy turned out to be a ridiculously difficult endeavor. They had to check in at the gate and wait for the security guard to confirm that there was, in fact, a “Blair Lisle” attending Edgewood that year. After a while of back-and-forth — “Harriet Lisle. No, not DeLisle” — they were finally allowed in with specific instructions to park with the front of the car facing out, only to be further delayed by a black Lincoln Continental that cut Harrie off only seconds after they drove inside.

Reluctantly following the Lincoln, Harrie drove past a pool and a tennis court. While she complained about the entitled family — “definitely some rich assholes” — in front of them, Blair allowed himself to think of Alex. Messy-haired, bleary-eyed, sleepy Alex. The memory made his heart speed up for some reason.

“God, how many tennis courts can one school have?” Harrie asked as they passed another field.

“Just one,” Blair said. “That’s the badminton court.”

“... You’re kidding.”

Finally, Harrie pulled up to a parking spot. There weren’t any people around, besides the shiny Lincoln’s obscured family. The “rich pompous assholes,” as Harrie repeatedly called them, parked in the clustered row of cars in front them. Blair honestly expected to see dozens of luxury cars, but most of them looked basic and unassuming.

When Harrie pulled down the sun visor to fix her makeup, Blair heard a nearby car door opening. Immediately, he tried to catch a glimpse of a potential classmate.

“Okay, so.” Harrie closed the visor. “Before we go in, I wanted to talk to you about something. And don’t make that face.”

“I told you I don’t want to be late.”

A blonde woman climbed out of the car, followed by a boy around Blair’s age. Together, they looked like models on a country club flyer. She scrutinized her son, checking for dirt or a hair out of place. She said something Blair couldn’t hear. The boy just smiled and shrugged lazily.

“We’re almost an hour early. I’m starting to wonder if a lobotomy is in order here,” Harrie joked. “And it’s hard finding a good moment to talk, just the two of us. I love Alex, but I think it’s good if you and I just talk for a moment.”

Blair must’ve made a face, because Harrie just laughed.

“Would you relax? It’s nothing crazy. I just want to check in on you,” she said, tone softening.

“Me? I’m fine.” Blair tore his gaze away. “Why?”

“I mean... It’s a big change, going to a new school. Especially one like Edgewood. I’m sure it’s a little difficult to get used to.”

“It’s fine.”

She watched him. “What about Alex? How have you two been doing?”

“Fine,” Blair said with a sigh. “We’re doing fine. It’s really not a big deal.”

Maybe it did tear him apart on some days, but that was normal. It was hardly the sort of years-long separation one would see in a Jane Austen novel. They’d still see each other every day. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t matter.

“That’s good.” She paused, tapping her finger on the steering will. In the corner of his eye, he could see her studying him. “Listen. I just don’t want you stressing out too badly over all this. I’m worried you’ll end up being too hard on yourself and getting too overwhelmed, and that you won’t want to tell me what’s going on. Or anyone. It’s just that lately you seem so…”

“So what?” Blair asked tonelessly.

No, it didn’t mean anything. Being a hormonal mess and sharing that kind of closeness inevitably confused things.. These other men, the ones that forced themselves into Blair’s dreams, just represented something Blair couldn’t have. A failure in his self-esteem. The blonde boy and his Lincoln were proof of that; Blair lacked everything that boy had. After all, wouldn’t a teenage boy think about hot — no, handsome guys that represented everything he agonized over lacking? And hormones could take over that too, couldn't they? That's why other guys would make jokes about getting turned on by something as simple as a breeze. The mind gets confused, and sometimes takes the heart down with it.

“Just a little distant, I guess,” she said, a little too carefully. “You know, if Edgewood ends up being too much, you can just transfer back. You can still get into a good college regardless of what school you go to. You’ve got great grades and all those extracurriculars. You’re so smart and you’ve got so much talent. I’ll be proud of you no matter what decision you make.”

Blair sighed. “Thanks.”

“And I know I said some distance would be good for you and Alex, but I know that doesn’t make it easy. I mean, you guys have been attached at the hip since, what, second grade? I can’t even imagine how weird it must be. I’m worried you might try to isolate yourself here and that’s just going to make things harder on you.”

Just the repeated reminders of Alex siphoned what remained of his energy. “It’s fine, Harrie. Really. Can we go now? I want to check out the library before the speeches start.”

Harrie was silent for a moment, but finally, she relented. There was a strange look in her eyes. “All right. But if you ever need to talk to me, you will, won’t you? Look, I know being a teenager sucks and it feels like nobody will understand, but that’s not true.”

“Yeah,” Blair mumbled. He bit his lip and pushed the door open.

Even though he’d already seen images of the school on the website, Blair was taken aback by its historical and Gothic architecture.

Each building had the same, gray brick walls and white roofs. The online photos offered a bird’s eye view of the campus and showed a complex map of buildings around an expanse of green fields, with the gray buildings surrounding a central courtyard, complete with athletic courts and even a private pool.

However, from where they stood, Blair could only see the front building with its polished walls, which were in remarkably good shape, and wide, white stairs leading up to its giant doors upon which were engraved the words Edgewood Preparatory Academy, 1777. Walking into the building, Blair felt like the protagonist in a Gothic novel about aristocratic vampires.

In spite of himself, Blair looked around for the blond boy. Something in him needed to recapture the electric shock of having seen somebody that attractive. Maybe the sun just hit right in that moment, and the guy's looks had been the product of good lighting. He needed a closer look, but the only person in the office was the receptionist. Harrie signed them in, and with one last hapless glance around, Blair walked out into a cavernous hallway.

Despite the building’s Gothic appearance, the hallways looked more modern, with polished white walls and several fluorescent lights buzzing ahead. The only hints as to the school’s age showed in the large, arched windows through which warm light poured in. It was hard to imagine that he stood in a centuries-old school. Renowned writers and acclaimed politicians once walked these halls, fourteen and gangly and confused.

“You know how you know this is a good school?” Harrie said. “I’m pretty sure that the kid we just saw got dropped off by his butler.”

They checked the schedule. The speeches wouldn’t start for another forty minutes.

“That should be enough time to check the library,” Blair mused out loud. “I think the courtroom they used for Mock Trial is in the same area, too.”

Harrie nodded, looking a little distracted. She glanced around the cavernous hallway. “So what’s the deal with the library? I think you mentioned it the other day but I zoned out an hour in.”

“It’s one of the largest secondary school libraries in the world,” Blair said. He could feel his worries melting away already. “I want to go through the Author Collections. Every single writer that’s ever visited this school since 1875 is included in it. They’ve got specific copies of the stories and books they brought with them. All signed. I think some even have notes.”

“Anyone I know?”

“You know Treasure Planet? The guy who wrote the book is there, too. Robert Louis Stevenson. He came by a couple times in the 1880s.”

“And he wrote a story about space travel and cyborgs? Way ahead of his time.”

It didn’t take long for her to sign them in at the school office. There were no other students to be found, not even the boy from the parking lot. That made things a lot easier for him, though. He didn’t want to have to deal with crowds of people right now. There were so many parts of the school he wanted to explore with nothing but his own thoughts for company.

Harrie didn’t mind letting him wander, as long as he promised not to get lost. “I’ll try to promise the same,” she added wryly.

Blair walked the path to the library, occasionally stopping to read plaques and look at the various artworks on display. The hallways had such a polished, but empty look to them. It was strange seeing such a clinical, colorless look on such clearly old architecture, but maybe that had to do with the lack of students.

The library, on the other hand, didn’t suffer from the same boring aesthetic. In fact, it looked almost futuristic, with smooth stone stairs and walls, illuminated by natural light. Rows of pale wooden bookshelves on the second floor contrasted the otherwise utterly gray interior, but none of it looked boring at all.

He already knew he’d be spending most of his time here, whether or not he made friends. A social life outside of Alex, and maybe Dom, never really mattered to him anyway. There were plenty of books to catch up on. He just wished he had time to read all of them.

The first floor didn’t have many bookshelves compared to the second, but he decided to start from the beginning. He wouldn’t be able to access the archived collections without a librarian around, anyway.

But at least he wasn’t thinking about Alex.

He forced himself to take out every other book in the first shelf and read its author. Aeschylus, Ascott, Allende. The names, familiar and unfamiliar, quieted the noise in his head. For a while, at least.

“Wes! I told you to text me when you got here, asshole!” a boy’s voice emerged from behind the bookshelf. “I fucking swear to God, if you’re planning on pranking me again, I-”

Blair startled, just in time for the boy to turn the corner and nearly bump into him. A bespectacled, freckled boy looked up at him, having to crane his neck to do so.

“Oh,” the boy said, suddenly a lot meeker than he sounded a moment ago. “You’re not my friend.”

Silently, Blair closed the book he was holding.

The boy looked mortified. “I’m sorry. I just - I told him to meet me here. I just heard someone walking around and thought… I don’t know why I didn’t check first. I’m sorry.”

Blair raised an eyebrow. The boy looked like he was actually vibrating from the force of his own terror. “It’s okay, dude. No worries.”

The boy nervously readjusted his glasses. “Seriously, I’m sorry. It’s just that he likes to pull pranks on me and I got a little jumpy. He never texts me when I tell him to, either. He’s such a dick. I wasn’t thinking…”

“I get it,” Blair said, his mild amusement turning into concern. “Really.”

“Dude,” another voice interrupted, “what are you doing down there?! I’ve been waiting up here for an hour already!”

They both looked up to see another boy on the second floor, leaning over from beside a bookcase. He had a wild mane of wavy brown hair and an iced coffee in hand. Though he wasn’t close enough for Blair to catch any details, his gothic outfit was pretty hard to miss.

“Oh,” the redhead said.

“Hold on, I’ll come down there,” the goth yelled out before darting away. The library, once utterly silent, now echoed with the sounds of heavy boots running down the stairs.

“I’m guessing that’s the dick,” Blair said. The redhead looked like he hoped the ground would swallow him whole.

“The what?” In seconds, the brunet had already reached their side. He was, for a lack of a better word, pretty. Very pretty. He had a soft, oval-shaped face, with large brown eyes and a button nose. His type of prettiness reminded Blair a little of Alex’s, although Alex had a warmer, more radiant beauty. At least Blair's hormones were faithful.

“I called you a dick,” the redhead piped up, probably to save Blair from a social faux pas.

“The hell did I do?” The goth gaped at him before turning to Blair. “Don’t listen to anything he tells you about me. His brain has rotted from attending, like, fifty e-sports competitions this summer. The only person he knows besides me is his mom.”

“They’re an extracurricular,” the redhead said, turning pink. “It’s a big thing for some colleges.”

“He also got catfished on Roblox when summer started,” the goth said, smiling, and Blair already knew this story got told to every single person they ever came across.

“Wes! Stop. That’s not-” He turned to Blair. “It’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. I’m the one who catfished him.”

“For an hour. That doesn’t even count.”

Wes sighed. “Those sixty minutes meant a lot to me.”

“Shut up,” the redhead muttered. “Are we going to Mondegreen then?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Wes said. He finished his iced coffee and tossed it in a nearby trash can before turning back to Blair. “You got a membership?”

“What?” Blair just blinked at him, suddenly brought back to earth. He’d been quietly engrossed in their conversation, trying to figure out if he found them charming or odd. Either way, all they did was remind him of how he and Alex must sound like to other people.

So much for not thinking about him.

“Doesn’t matter if you don’t. I can take up to five guests,” Wes said. “What’s your name again? James didn’t mention it.”

Blair wondered if he should bring up the fact that he hadn’t even known James for more than two minutes. “Um, Blair.”

“You’re new, right?” Wes asked. Blair nodded. “Okay, well. You don’t really need the tours, we’ve got maps for that. And the speeches are just Headmaster Roseborne talking out of his ass for an hour. You won’t miss much.”

“Wes,” James said firmly. “He doesn’t know you.”

Wes paused. “I thought he was your friend.” Before either of them could answer, Wes shrugged and said, “Actually, you know what? Doesn’t matter. The offer still stands. If you need help convincing your parents, I’m good at that.”

Usually, Blair would say no. Even when it wasn’t necessary, he always played the role of the ‘good kid’ who never stepped out of place, which meant doing exactly what was expected from him. Skipping the speeches at orientation probably went against that.

Alex and Dom weren’t like that. They were always daring, always searching for opportunities to disobey adults just for the hell of it. Blair’s role consisted of reeling them in, talking them out of getting themselves hurt, and shaking his head whenever the two would inevitably get into trouble. It made him kind of boring, and it wasn’t going to help him as a new student at all. Alex was his entire social life, but Alex wasn’t here. Blair would have to go through the painful process of friend-making himself.

It wasn't like he'd be skipping classes or anything. He glanced around. Harrie didn't come by yet, and he couldn’t find her face in the crowd of people.

“Sure,” Blair said. “Why not.”

ALEX POV

Alex stayed in Blair’s room for hours. It wasn’t weird for him to stay there alone, but it didn’t help the anxiety that kept curling around his heart like a serpent. He waited until night fell before finally giving in and calling Matt over and over, even though he knew he’d be awake by now.

There was no point in putting it off. At least Joshua wouldn’t be there for the party. Even if Blair would end up taking a while to show up, Dom usually showed up to these things pretty early. That should be enough to distract him from… whatever was going on in his head.

Actually, maybe Dom would make it worse. He kept talking about private school girls and trophy wives. The idea of Blair getting a trophy wife made him want to hurl. It was an idea he’d have to get used to, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Blair had been sending him all sorts of texts. Texts about the school, the library, the courtroom. Soon those turned into texts about a country club, boats, and fancy salmon dishes at some restaurant. Apparently, he’d met some classmates and “decided to socialize for once,” in Harrie’s words.

Alex wanted to be happy for him. He really did. He knew he should be, but the logic wouldn’t settle.

Matt was waiting for him when he came home, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and eyes glinting with homicidal intent. Alex smiled innocently at him.

“Morning!” he chirped.

Matt glared.

“Sorry about the phone calls,” Alex said.

“Sure you are.”

Pushing past his brother, Alex tiptoed into the living room. He glanced around for a stray purse, maybe heels, anything that hinted at the presence of a certain redheaded woman. Or any sign of his father, for that matter.

Matt closed the door. “She’s not here. They’re staying at Linds’ place.”

“‘Linds’? You’re such a kiss ass,” Alex said, snorting.

“So why’re you back so early?” Matt asked, as though Alex hadn’t said anything. “Did something happen with Blair?”

What was his obsession with that? Alex rolled his eyes.

“Of course not. He’s going to his freshman orientation at the prep school. So it’s just you and me today. Fun, isn’t it?”He tried to relax his shoulders, which had tensed as soon as Blair’s name entered the conversation. “I’m gonna shower.”

“Hold on,” Matt said. He put down his cup of coffee on their kitchen island. “I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t know where your Beats are.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Alex, I’m serious. Sit down. It’ll just take a second.”

Alex eyed his brother warily, but refused to sit down. “What do you want?”

“To talk,” Matt said. “I already said that, didn’t I? I just think there’s some things we need to talk about before I go to college.”

That’s another reason Alex preferred staying over at Blair’s. He didn’t have to worry about constantly finding reminders of Matt's college acceptance.

The whole thing boiled down to this: Matt was a natural at programming. And math. And science. Alex, on the other hand, had been better at athletics, just like Joshua had been growing up. Alex made every team he ever tried out for. He was a natural at soccer, and cross country, and flag football.

Joshua never attended a game. He did, however, attend every single one of Matt’s robotics competitions. He helped Matt with college applications, too — NYU was their dream school. And Matt got in.

Dad had been so proud of Matt.

After the news of acceptance rolled in, amid much cheering and screaming, Dad immediately bought tickets to go visit New York City with Matt. They invited Joshua’s girlfriend, Lindsay, and Matt’s best friend, Naomi. Naomi got accepted into The New School, which was only three minutes away from Matt’s college. Everything fell perfectly into place for them.

Of course, Alex couldn’t go. He had school. He stayed with Blair the entire week his family had gone. When they came back, Matt gave Alex a giant shirt that read Someone in New York Loves Me. Lindsay’s idea.

“How’re you dealing with the whole… Blair going to a different school thing?” Matt asked, slowly, as though the words would startle Alex and send him running in the opposite direction.

“Why do you care?” Alex really couldn’t be bothered with any of this. He just wanted to retreat to his room and sleep in a little while longer, not deal with the random burst of brotherly responsibility Matt decided to take upon himself.

“Look,” Matt said. “If you need me to stay another week, I can. I can just switch the flight. But you have to let me know now.”

“I don’t want you here.”

Matt stared at him. “Maybe it’s better I stay here another week.”

Alex scowled. He hated pity. “Just go with Naomi. You’ll have the dorms to yourselves. That’s where all the good college orgies happen.”

Matt sighed. For a moment, they sat without speaking. Distantly, Alex heard a cacophony of birds greeting the sunrise and the sky started to brighten with daylight. It filled him with a strange sense of loss, but it wasn’t for Matt. For a moment, he wondered if it was even for Blair.

“You need to keep me updated on everything,” Matt said. “I know you’re going through a lot right now, with me and Blair leaving. But you can always talk to me. About anything.”

Stop lying to me.

“Why are you being so weird?” The tension he’d tried to shake off returned with a vengeance. “What’s going on? Am I dying and nobody’s allowed to tell me or something?”

Another stretch of silence. God, this was getting annoying. Alex kept his gaze fixed on his brother.

“I’ve just been concerned about you lately,” Matt said. Bullshit. “Actually, I’ve been concerned for a long time, but it’s been impossible to talk to you about any of this-”

“Look, I really don’t care that you’re leaving. I mean, good for you. College is great. I’m fine. It’s not a big deal.” His patience was on the verge of snapping. Why did Matt have to do this now?

“Listen to me,” Matt said firmly.. “I’m going to tell you something and I need you to be an adult about this. All right?”

Scowling, Alex fell silent. He already had an idea of what the news would be.

“Dad asked Lindsay to move in with him.”

And there it was. Funny how Alex felt cold only minutes ago, but now it was like his entire bloodstream had been set on fire.

“So what? I don’t care.”

“I’m not going to be here. But you are. You need to make an effort. Dad really likes her, you know. They’re happy together. Don’t you want him to be happy?”

“I don’t care,” Alex continued, “if he’s happy or not. You think he wants to fucking spend time with me because he likes me and misses me? He only cares now because he wants to marry her and he can’t do that if it looks like his fucking kid can’t stand to be around him!”

Matt inhaled slowly. “Alex. Listen to me. I know this is going to be weird for you. I won’t pretend to understand it. I know I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried to. But this isn’t good for you. You can’t keep hiding at Blair’s house and avoiding all this stuff. I can’t always be here to clean up after you.”

“You know what, it’s so easy for you,” Alex said. “It’s always been so easy for you.”

He blinked at the harsh onslaught of tears welling up in his eyes. Heart pounding, he stood up and glared at Matt.

“So you don’t get to talk to me about this like you know the answer or like you can fucking fix me. You get to be the favorite child going off to a good college and I’m always going to be Alex. It doesn’t matter if I go to Harvard or if I cure some disease or if I become famous, I’m always going to be me. I’m always going to be fucking stuck being me! I’m the one that ends up with nothing!”

Matt’s jaw clenched. He shook his head in the universal older sibling gesture of resignation, but his eyes were unreadable. Apparently, being a college student made him so worldly, so adult-like in the face of Alex’s pathetic immaturity. Alex stormed out, knocking his shoulder against Matt as hard as he could. He vaguely heard Matt calling his name, but he didn’t care.

There was really no point to any of this.

Alex curled up and listened to the excitement downstairs. Matt’s stupid party playlist deafened the sound of everything else, but that was probably for the best. He wouldn’t be able to stand the sound of voice and laughter right now. It only reminded him that he could be anyone else, somewhere else, not Alex, stuck moping in his room like a loser.

This shouldn’t have come as a surprise to him. A part of him always knew this would end, but he’d been hoping for much more time. He’d always expected they had until college. Even if, by some miracle, they ended up going to the same good university - Blair with his grades, Alex with his athletics - they’d still end up drifting away once Blair inevitably found people more deserving of his time.

So lost in his thoughts, he hardly noticed the sound of a knock on his door. Alex dropped his phone, still lit up with the official Edgewood website. This was getting pathetic now.

“Alex,” Matt’s voice was nearly inaudible over the music. It was hard to determine his tone like this. “Dom’s here.”

Slowly, Alex slid out of bed. His face still felt raw from crying, but he wasn’t sniffling anymore and his eyes had dried. The only proof of his sulking was the ache in his side from lying down in the same position for hours. He opened the door to find Matt looking less than impressed, with Dom right by his side, wearing a ridiculously large travel backpack.

“Are you moving in, too?” Alex huffed.

“Huh?” To his credit, Dom didn’t dwell much on the comment. “Dude, Levi fucking barricaded me in the basement. I was supposed to leave two hours ago. You know our basement’s soundproof? I was screaming the whole time and nobody heard me. Good thing Bryce hides his beers there, otherwise…”

The words all faded into each other. Alex just wanted to crawl back into bed and ignore the world for the rest of the night. Instead, he took a deep breath and forced the usual coltishness in his tone.

“We should host a party at your place when school starts. I can already think of five people to lock down there.” Alex grinned, but it faltered as soon as he realized Matt seemed to have no intention of leaving. “Um, this isn’t a show. You can leave now.”

“You know, I’m not going to be able to watch over you two all night,” Matt said.

“Fine then. Dom can come back tomorrow and we can redo the whole routine for you.”

“I’m not driving anyone to a hospital, either,” Matt said. “If you’re going to drink-”

“We’re not going to drink,” Alex snapped.

Matt just looked at him. Then he looked at Dom’s backpack.

“It’s study materials,” Dom said.

“Over summer vacation?”

“Yeah, dumbass.” Alex just managed to make the insult sound peppy enough despite the vitriol burning in him. “We have to read Romeo and Juliet over vacation. We have to read and write an essay on its theme. A whole essay on how it’s actually about the way structures and society keep us trapped no matter how much we try to break free. Not that you would know that.”

Dom nodded along with a very serious expression. It didn’t seem to sway Matt at all. Thankfully, he uncrossed his arms and turned away, sighing. Alex gestured at Dom to enter his room and locked the door behind them.

“Why here? The party’s downstairs,” Dom shrugged off the backpack and set it on the bed, immediately setting off a cacophony of cans knocking into each other. “How come Matt knows all these hot girls, by the way? I should’ve joined robotics instead of football. I probably could’ve kept some of my brain cells too.”

“I don’t think those were there to begin with,” Alex said. “How much vodka did you even bring?”

Alcohol was supposed to calm people, or so he heard. He really hoped that was true.

“I got a whole six pack. I told you the blackmail thing works for everything. You just gotta time it right,” Dom said, unzipping the backpack. He emptied its contents onto the bed. Six colorful cans of Smirnoff Ice rolled onto the bed. “Bryce ruined it, though. I told him to get the actual vodka and some mixers. I think each bottle’s only four percent alcohol. I don’t know if twelve is enough to get drunk.”

“Maybe if we chug it?” Alex was already opening one. It smelled weirdly sweet. “I think if you drink it all at once, it’ll get you drunk.”

“I think that’s true. I got drunk off my mom’s wine once.” Without hesitation, Dom opened a can and started downing it. “Which is actually crazy. No wonder she’s addicted to that stuff.”

Alex let the words wash over him. As he started to down the first can, he vaguely registered the sound of their doorbell ringing for the millionth time that night. He didn't have to check to know it wasn't Blair.