Detour - 1. Chapter 1

BLAIR POV

Looking back on it, Blair thought it was fitting that the eighth grade ended on such a sour note. The heat that year came early, and though they were hardly halfway through their final semester, it felt like summer vacation. It brought a telltale stench of barbecue parties and sunscreen-painted skin. Children tussled at the local pool while teenagers idled on sun loungers. It’d been such a hopeful start. While everyone else tried making the best of the heat, Blair never let the illusion of summer distract him.

Blair’s eyes flicked back down to the list. Something as simple as shopping for supplies shouldn’t be so overwhelming, but this was the first time trying it out alone. He usually had Harrie at his side to figure out the elusive low price to best quality ratio. Now, he had to guess at what the best brands would be and how to budget it all.

Alex was no help.

“I’m not getting you that,” Blair said the second he made out a blur of blonde by him, holding up what must’ve been the millionth terrible item at the store.

“You haven’t even looked at it!”

In the corner of his eye, he could see Alex shaking a large white shirt. Rolling his eyes and hurrying to swallow the surge of affection, Blair turned to take a proper look. In a red raglan shirt and faded jeans, Alex glowed, he had a deceptively innocent-looking face with enormous eyes that radiated mischief. Alex got a haircut earlier that year, but his honey-blond hair was already curling at the nape of his neck. His tan had faded to reveal pale skin, and the years of sports had finally seemed to catch up to him. He’d gotten more toned and his voice was deeper.

Even so, nothing about him had really changed.

“See what I mean?” Alex grinned.

Oh, right. The shirt. Blair blinked and forced himself to look down at it. “’Nobody knows I’m a lesbian?’”

“And nobody ever will.”

“Alex.” Blair bit back a smile. “I brought you here to help me with the list, not fuck around.”

“I’m literally helping out,” Alex said. He started to toss the shirt in the cart, but a warning glance from Blair made him sigh dramatically and leave it on a shelf. “I just don’t understand why we’re doing school shopping already. We’re literally halfway through the second semester, dude. I’m actually starting to worry.”

“It pays to be prepared. Maybe if you had done that last year, you wouldn’t have had to beg Dom for a pencil as the one school supply you had to bring to class.”

“There needs to be a rehab for this kind of thing,” Alex muttered to himself. “Dude, those are two extremes. I could maybe understand if you were getting Romeo and Juliet since everyone has to read that for next year. I really don’t get why they make us read books during summer vacation. That should be illegal. I’m reading a summary the night before class and that’s all they’re getting out of me. Or since you’ve already read it, you can give me the details.”

The anxiety that’d been thrumming through him picked up speed. Something about the casualness in those words nearly tore down the escapism of this moment. He needed to tell him. He needed to, and the more time dragged on, the worst it got. But the words always froze in his throat. Something about Alex’s glittering eyes, the ease in his smile, always brought those defenses back up. Such simple words could ruin everything. It would ruin everything.

Alex hadn’t been there when the letter arrived. For once, by some stroke of luck, he’d been back at his dad’s house, leaving Harrie and Blair to open it themselves. In printed letters against a gold-tinted page came the words he’d been praying to read: “It is with great pleasure that I write to offer you admission to Edgewood Preparatory Academy beginning in August 2024…”

That was everything he’d been working towards. All those hours of SSAT studying, Youth Leg, Quizbowls, and every other possible extracurricular their school offered had all been for this. It should’ve been the best news of his life.

For a moment, it might’ve been, but once the euphoria and shock had faded, he realized then just how lonely it’d be. A new big school, an entirely different environment, and Alex wouldn’t be there. That absence would burn into him no matter how much he tried to move past it. Going to a different school wasn’t a big deal, he told himself constantly. They’d see each other after school. After all, Alex basically lived with him.It felt bigger than that, somehow, in ways Blair couldn’t begin to understand. Something more complex than distance and lost time. That same feeling sat in his chest whenever he looked at Alex too long. Strange thoughts flooded his mind, but none of it meant anything.

Ignoring the pull of his heart, Blair tossed a random binder into the cart and averted his gaze from the fire beside him. There was no time to think about that, whatever that was.

The store wasn’t very crowded today, which was both a blessing and a curse, as Alex took the opportunity to race down the aisles in the shopping cart and loudly pester Blair to buy whatever ridiculous thing they came across: bluetooth jump rope, a caged clown costume, and a piggy bank in the shape of a minion.

“You said essentials,” Alex argued, cross-legged in the cart as Blair pushed him around. “These are extremely essential.”

“Get out of the cart before one of the workers kicks us out.”

“More essential than a backpack.” Alex peered at the selection Blair was currently browsing. “You can just use mine from elementary school.”

Blair stared at him. “The Chewbacca one where the arms are straps?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll pass. I wouldn’t deny you the pleasure of taking that to school yourself.”

“You’re such a good friend,” Alex said with an innocent smile. He leaned back in the cart. “Look, I’m not unreasonable, I’ll settle for the 200 piece bucket of sidewalk chalk. And I’ll give up Chewie just for you.”

It took another few minutes to coax him out of the cart, and only in exchange for a tee that read “women want me, fish fear me,” despite the fact that Alex never fished in his life. It cost more than the calculator.

Nestled in Paradise Hills — unnoticeable, semi-affordable, and census-designated — Blair’s home sat amid a winding row of suburban houses, all identical in their modern, empty design. It was one of those neighborhoods, the type that hopeful parents marched to when it was time to start a family. Another forgettable city.

Blair took care not to slip on the rain-slicked path leading up to his house, which was a lot easier since he’d made Alex carry all the bags back.

“What’s even the point of Romeo and Juliet anyways?” Alex asked. “Two dumb teens get horny and kill themselves?”

“Thank you for that profound literary analysis.”

“You’re welcome. If you need me to sit in on your AP English classes, just let me know. I’ll get you sent straight to Harvard with an essay on the fatal impact of… romance of Victorian dick sucking or whatever.”

Blair laughed. “He’s not Victorian. Elizabethan. It’s one of the most studied pieces of literature for a reason. And it’s not even really a romance. It’s about being doomed by fate, in not just a religious way really. More like, the way we are doomed by the structures and people around us when we try to make our own choices.”

“That’s not an essay that will get you into community college,” Alex joked, opening the front door with his own spare key. They hurried to squeeze through as Oreo, Blair’s Husky, ran to jump on them. “I mean! Not even a single mention of suck-”

“Oreo!” Harrie’s voice called out. Alex and Blair shared a look of horror that faded to amusement.

Being Blair’s sister, she looked like an older, female version of him. They had the same olive skin, hazel eyes, and black curls, though hers was significantly longer. She wore a black blazer and skirt, which looked too formal on her. Harrie still had the fresh, hopeful face of a young college student, better suited for summer dresses and oversized hoodies.

“That was fast,” she said. Her eyes flitted down to Alex’s new tee and a subtle smile tugged at her lips.

“So which one of you ordered a pizza?”

“Pizza?” Blair started to ask, but then he glanced at Alex.

“It’s me paying back for the new shirt Blair got me!” Alex spread his arms to show off. “Since he said no to Chewie, if you can believe it. But I couldn’t leave him with nothing. I’m just too generous.”

“That’s just unforgivable.” She shook her head in mock disappointment. “Well, your pizza’s waiting in the kitchen, Mother Teresa. Let me see what you got.” She nodded at the bags, then paused. “Wait, Alex, go get my glasses from my night-table.”

“Why me?” Alex made a feigned show of whining, but immediately hurried upstairs.

“So much for that generosity,” Blair said, handing the bags over to Harrie. “I’ve double checked everything on the list. The only things missing are the textbooks, but the latest one is getting delivered next week. And I know I already have Wuthering Heights, but maybe I should get one of those annotated ones, just to be sure?”

She barely gave the bags’s contents a cursory glance, already trusting him. “Look, I’ll take care of the rest, all right? It’s summer. Time to relax a little.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Alex yelled, sounding suspiciously muffled.

“I mean, once everything’s out of the way...” Blair said. Anxiety gripped his heart again. Things were not going to be okay.. He still had to tell Alex, even worse, he still had to leave Alex. Edgewood may not be that far from Paradise Hills, and now, it felt worlds away.

Harrie looked at him for a moment. “I’m serious, you know that? You always push yourself too hard. Ijust don’t want you to get too overwhelmed by all of this. I know you’re really excited about Edgewood, but it’s still just freshman year. Go easy on yourself.”

His heartbeat spiked. He glanced worriedly upstairs, even though Alex wouldn’t be able to hear.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.”

She gave him a look, the sort of motherly gaze she rarely ever used, despite the seven years of being his legal guardian. “I’m serious. You’re way too young to be stressing yourself like a 55 year old CEO. Please skip school at least once or sneak out so I know your development’s going okay.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes. “Got it.”

She kept giving him that look. “I know it’s going to be so hard without Alex, but you guys are going to be okay. I know you may not want to hear it, but this might even be good for you guys. Seven years, every day together… a little distance might be healthy.”

Logically, he should accept it, but he couldn’t. Something else kept taking over. Absent-mindedly, Blair glanced up at the door to Harrie’s room, where Alex still hadn’t emerged. He’d been taking a while.

“I’ll be fine,” he lied. “Let me go make sure the idiot’s still breathing. He’s been chugging energy drinks all day.”

He rubbed his eyes as he walked upstairs. Harrie’s words just added to the tightening in his chest, one that worsened day by day. Everything only served to remind him that soon, sooner than he thought, summer would fade away and everything would change. Yellowed lights spilled across the hallway leading to Harrie’s bedroom, but it was the silence that caught his attention.

Blair pushed the door open. “Dude, do I need-” Alex sat on the edge of Harrie’s bed, a large, red-covered book on his lap. Beside him, sitting right by Harrie’s glasses, was an immaculate envelope. A sudden realization dawned on him.

“Alex-”

“You got in?” Alex looked away from Edgewood’s curriculum book. There was a strange, indecipherable look in his eyes.

Blair’s heart dropped. There it was, the truth, so poorly concealed he didn’t even know how to react. “I got the letter last week,” he said, his voice lowering.

“Last week?” Alex looked just as unsure of what to do as he felt. Slowly, though, a light started to return to his eyes. “Dude. You got into Edgewood. Edgewood!”

“I did.” Blair smiled, but something still twisted inside him. Maybe it didn’t hurt Alex as much as it hurt him. That was good.

It should’ve felt good.

“No fucking way!” Alex hopped off the bed and practically bounced over to him. Oreo jumped up from where she was lounging, wagging her tail. “You got into Edgewood! The Edgewood! That’s like getting into Harvard!”

“Not really.”

“Right, it’s even better!” Alex grinned at him. “That was the school you wanted! The one with that one author, right? Hah! And David Wilson didn’t get in. What a loser. I can’t wait to bring this up to him.”

“Please don’t.” Blair sighed. “It’s a 10% acceptance rate. And he’s still in the honor roll.”

“Whatever. I don’t like the way he looks at me in group discussions. Anyway, that’s not important! You got in! Just like I said you would!” Alex was practically jumping up and down at this point. “Why didn’t you tell me right away, dude?”

Blair barely managed not to wince. Why didn’t he tell him? It wasn’t like it had anything to do with whatever went on in his own head, lately. That still didn’t mean anything.

“I wanted it to be a surprise, I guess,” he said. “And I didn’t want to brag about it right away. I dunno. I still have to focus on this semester.”

“Fuck this semester. We need to celebrate. I gotta let Dom know. We should do something. Maybe get you a fancy little party at Pizza Hut. I’ll get them to sing for you like we did for your birthday.” As though suddenly remembering himself, Alex delicately closed the book and stored it away along with the envelope.

“I’d rather not relive that.” Blair tried to let himself smile, but the reminder of their imminent separation kept searing into him.

“I should have ordered the Hawaiian pizza. That’s a lot fancier than pepperoni.”

“I’m not sure anything from Big Papa’s Pizza is fancy.”

“I gotta tell people,” Alex said. In spite of everything, at least the excitement looked good on him. Blair’s gaze lingered. “I need everyone to know that I’m associated with a future millionaire lawyer here. Come on! Let’s go call David Wilson!”

“Alex-” But he was already out the door. Blair sighed, just watching him go.

He didn't make a habit of checking other guys out, obviously. Things were just different now. For one, they were going through all sorts of horrors they'd been forced to learn about in health class last year. Maybe thinking about another guy was just a normal part of life, a phase. Maybe spending so much time with Alex made this kind of thing inevitable. He shook his head as though it'd clear those thoughts away. A phase. Nothing more.

ALEX POV

Once the dishes and trash had been cleared away, they retreated to Blair’s room to laze the rest of the day away, Alex with his video games and Blair with his books. It tended to go that way with them. Blair always looked the best when he was reading, all solemn and focused. Alex just wished, stupidly, desperately, Blair would look at him that attentively. At least that gaze, either apathetic or concentrated to others, softened for him sometimes. That should be enough.

Blair had always been beautiful, but only months earlier, he underwent a transformation that sent even Alex’s head reeling. Growing up, Blair had been shorter than Alex, but now he towered over him.

Sharp features, once softened by baby fat, became prominent over the summer. Alex constantly overheard girls fawning over Blair’s cheekbones, his jawline; they leaned over on sunloungers to catch a glimpse of him shirtless at the pool, and scowled in jealousy whenever Blair threw his arm around Alex. Dom always scowled too; like all the other guys, he steamed with jealousy over Blair’s oblivious popularity. Flag football, he maintained, should be more attractive to girls than a teacher’s pet. It didn’t help that Blair had an actual personality, too. And he didn’t boast or smirk or raise his voice. He was, and always had been, sensitive. He read for fun, he was polite, he treated everyone kindly. Add in wavy black hair, smooth olive skin, and a vaguely French surname — it was like he stepped out of a romance novel.

In spite of all this, Blair never seemed to notice the longing gazes and shy smiles sent his way. Even though one of those gazes belonged to his own best friend. But Alex wasn’t like those summer vacation girls, who only noticed Blair now that puberty changed him. His attention didn’t emerge from some hormonal infatuation only now awakened in the summer heat.

Alex remembered the exact moment he fell in love with Blair Lisle. Second grade. One of those forgettable grades, awkwardly mashed between the first year of elementary school and the first year school efficiently traumatizes you. But Alex remembered that year all too clearly. He hadn’t even lived in Paradise Hills for a month before getting stamped with the “problem child” reputation.

His first teacher that year, Ms. Ruiz, tried to practice forgiveness. Children of divorce were difficult, she reasoned, because they were hurting. Love and patience would be enough. She soon learned it wasn’t. It took her a couple of weeks before she had to ship him off to another second grade class, led by Mrs. Baker. Mrs. Baker was not as sweet and forgiving. He didn't blame her, though, or Ms. Ruiz.

He got in trouble every day. He fought with other boys, made girls cry, snapped at adults, and spent lunch in the principal’s office. He got a different seat assignment every other day, because each kid he sat next to complained about him. Even now, he could hear Mrs. Baker’s voice: “Everyone has to deal with him, now it’s your turn.” Eventually, Mrs. Baker took her own words to heart and shipped him off to another second grade group. Ms. Miller had the smallest class of students and she was pretty young for a teacher. She was not as forgiving as Ms. Ruiz, but she wasn’t as cold as Mrs. Baker. She didn’t hate him either. Not that it made a difference. He got into more fights, he yelled back at the adults around him, and he sat alone at lunch. Everybody hated him. Everybody except Blair Lisle.

Alex hated Blair the moment he saw him. Blair was a loved child, and it showed in every aspect of his being. He came to school with his hair still damp from the shower, combed back meticulously by some doting parent. He kissed Miss Miller on the cheek every morning when he walked in, like the total kiss-ass he was. He always smelled like vanilla. His clothes stayed unblemished and neat, even after recess. He sat with the girls at lunch, and they all cooed over him. He spent his free time reading instead of playing with others. Adults smiled at him adoringly. One time, they passed a first grade class on the way to the auditorium, and that teacher told Miss Miller, “You’re so lucky to have Blair as a student! He's an angel.”

It made Alex sick.

The worst part was nobody ever gave the kid shit for it. Seriously, he had a girl’s name and was a total teacher’s pet. People should've been lining up to give him wedgies, but Blair remained untouched.

So the responsibility fell on Alex's shoulders.

He started teasing Blair, more than he ever teased anyone else. He stole things from Blair’s cubby and tried to start arguments with him. Blair never argued back — not that he had to, anyway, because the girls always jumped to his rescue.

It started to wear Alex down. Most kids snapped right away, but Blair never did. Ever. One day, he got too desperate. He crowded Blair during recess and taunted him. “Hit me. Hit me." Blair refused to make eye contact as he tried to slide away, but Alex followed him everywhere. He kept goading Blair so much it almost sounded like pleading. Before he could react, Blair’s fist connected with Alex’s chin, and the rest was history.

They crowded into the principal’s office, a daily routine for Alex at this point. Blair sat in utter silence beside him. Usually kids cried during their first visit to the principal’s office, but Blair remained expressionless. Ms. Miller placed her hand on Blair’s shoulder, a silent comfort. She wouldn’t look at Alex. For some weird reason, he wanted to cry. He forced himself to focus on the dull ache across his jaw, because as much as Blair acted like a princess, he sure as hell didn’t punch like one.

Every so often, the principal gave Alex a cold, disappointed look. Adults didn’t think kids could tell when they were hated, but Alex knew. He always knew.

With pursed lips, the principal called Alex’s dad. Then, hesitatingly, he called Blair’s family. He apologized on the phone this time.

“I know you two have been going through a lot… I’m very sorry about this, but…" He locked eyes with Ms. Miller and they shared a stony glance. This was weirdly, very serious. More serious than any other time.

Miss Miller said, calmly, “Let her know we won’t penalize him for this.”

Alex’s dad showed up soon after. He just looked tired at this point. Probably ready to ship Alex off to a mental institution. The principal told him to wait for Ms. Lisle. Miss Lisle, which Alex knew meant she wasn’t married. The adults murmured things Alex couldn’t pick up on. He snuck a glance at Blair. Blair just stared at the floor.

When Harrie showed up, Alex knew something really was wrong. She looked a lot like Blair, but she was way too young to be his mom. She must've been the same age as his cousin, Andy, who was still in high school. Harrie sat down without looking at Alex. When they filled her in on what happened, she hunched over in her seat and buried her face in her hands. Ms. Miller rubbed her back comfortingly. “You’re doing your best,” Miss Miller whispered.

She caught Alex’s eyes and shook her head.

“We know this has been a difficult time for your family,” the principal told Harrie. “We want you to know that Blair will not suffer any consequences for this. Ms. Miller tells me that Blair's been a model student this year.”

“He’s a great kid,” Ms. Miller told Harrie gently. “Alexander, on the other hand…” The principal frowned. “We’ve been having issues with him for a while.”

Alex tried to sneak a look at his father’s reaction, but found nothing.

“Now, normally this kind of behavior would result in suspension,” the principal said, “but given the circumstances, we’ll just let Blair off with a warning.”

Alex’s eyes started to well up. He worried he’d vomit all over the carpet. His lower lip trembled and he stared at the floor, listening as the principal prattled on. They were going to put Alex in detention for the rest of the week. He’d be seated away from the other kids, and he’d do all his work in the hall. He wouldn’t be allowed out for recess or lunch anymore. Amidst all this rambling, the principal kept spouting apologies to Harrie, along with promises that Alex would “be robustly punished for this.”

I’m a fuck up. I get it already.

“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered numbly. Hot tears ran down his face. The adults continued without hearing him. In the corner of his eye, he could tell that Blair was looking at him.

“He said he’s sorry,” Blair said.

There was a lull in the conversation.

“Well, ‘sorry’ doesn’t do anything, does it?” The principal sighed. “Alexander, we’ve given you warning after warning. It’s clearly not doing any good, is it?”

“He said he was sorry,” Blair continued. “I was the one who punched him. He told me to do it and I did. I didn’t have to. He didn’t hit me. It’s not fair that he’s the one getting punished and I’m not.”

“Now—“

“It’s not fair,” Blair repeated.

Alex gaped at him. Nobody ever defended him before, even when he actually deserved it.

After some deliberation, the principal decided to change the punishment. Instead of Alex being stuck in detention by himself, Blair would join him. They’d have to write each other letters of apology, too. By the time they got ushered out of the office, Alex’s eyes were swollen and his throat ached, but he felt weirdly calm.

“I deserved it, anyway,” Alex had mumbled.

Blair just looked at him. “Obviously.” Then he smiled.

Like an idiot, Alex fell in love.

It only took that one hour in detention to become inseparable. Alex learned that Ms. Lisle, or Harrie, was Blair's older sister. It took a while to get this information out of him, but eventually Blair revealed that his parents had died months before second grade started. His nineteen-year-old sister became his legal caretaker. In return for this information, Alex told him about the vicious divorce that recently tore his parents apart and sent Alex and his brother, Matt, to Paradise Hills with their father.

Blair and Alex got along like a “house on fire”, as their subsequent third grade teacher would say, to the surprise of everyone that ever met them. Alex grew up to be a natural athlete, alternating between various sports before settling on soccer and flag football. His grades rarely exceeded Cs, and while his behavior improved since second grade, he still spent enough time in detention that teachers dreaded having him in class. On the other hand, Blair rarely got grades below an A. If he wasn’t studying, he was reading or researching law for fun like some lunatic. Naturally, he always ended up a teacher’s pet. On the spectrum of teen cliches, Alex and Blair were basically at opposing ends.

And Alex was in love with him.

He didn’t realize this until sixth grade. It was Dom's fault, really. Dom had two older brothers; he’d been indoctrinated on the matters of sex and love long before other kids started thinking about those things. But it’s one thing to know how to kiss a girl. It’s another thing to do it. Dom’s solution seemed simple at the time: Alex could act as a substitute for this hypothetical girl, and Dom could practice on him.

When Dom pressed his lips against Alex’s, Alex’s mind had — against his own will— envisioned Blair leaning in. His heart started racing, but not out of excitement. It was racing out of fear.

He wondered what Dom must have thought when he opened his eyes, mid-kiss, to see Alex's horrified expression. All Alex could think about was how things would never be the same.

The kind of hurt that seared through him now was incomparable to anything else he’d ever felt. There weren’t enough words to even describe it. It felt as though something had torn deep into his gut, and like his heart weighed a hundred pounds alone.

They went through everything together. Elementary school, middle school, field trips. Blair was there when Alex’s dog died. He was there whenever Alex got into a fight with Matt, or when Alex sliced his leg open in a cross-country competition, or when Alex got dumped by his fourth-grade girlfriend. They never spent a day apart.

And now Blair was leaving off to a better school. Better options. Better people. People with the same ambition and drive he had, with the same gilded futures rolling out ahead of them. Future lawyers and doctors and presidents. Everything Alex could never be. It made his stomach physically turn. But he kept a bright smile on his face. He wouldn’t ruin this for him. The agony needed to be ignored.

Love, at the end of any journey, eventually needed to be buried. The grieving could come later. You’re going to leave me. I knew you’d leave me one day. But it’s too soon. I’m not ready. There was no way he’d cry in the Lisle household.

“I could’ve sworn I had more co-op games on here,” Alex sighed, dropping his Nintendo on the beanbag. “What do you have against Cooking Mama?”

“Didn’t you say you were going to make me play Mario Kart?” Blair said, not looking up from his book.

“Fuck. Matt’s the one with Mario Kart.”

“Is he home? Maybe you can go pick it up.” Blair glanced up this time. He seemed a little distracted.

“It’s so far.”

“You live a minute away.”

“My frail legs…”

“You do cross country.”

“Ugh, fine.” Alex stood with a dramatic whine. “Just because it’s your celebration day. But this is just a one-time thing.”

“Right, the generosity,” Blair said with a smile.

“Appreciate it.” Alex stepped over Oreo and bit his tongue.

There was that feeling again, the wrenching pain with the coldness in his blood. Why did this have to hurt so much? He hated it, and he hated himself for it.

Tears stung his eyes as he walked home. Fine, the whole thing was so illogical. But he could grieve. He was allowed to grieve, as stupid as it may be. Life was riddled with goodbyes, he understood that. It just didn’t always hurt like this.

He was so petty, so immature, so damn selfish. This was what Blair deserved. He deserved that opportunity. He deserved an elite school and the people that matched it. New peers, new friends… a girlfriend.

This actually felt like death. Real, physical death.

At least his penchant for drama never went away. It was so distracting he only hesitated for a second outside the door before silently, slowly unlocking it to try and sneak in. Matt might be home, but Joshua was usually out on a date with Lindsay, so at least he didn’t have to worry about that.

Or so he thought.

The air in the house was so stifling. It always felt like walking into a stranger’s den. Like all the other houses on the block, it maintained that same suburban structure as the Lisle’s household, but it still lacked something. Maybe it lacked everything.

Despite the lifelessness, he was immediately aware of voices in the kitchen. He clenched his fists. Fuck. This was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now. Wincing, he closed the door as quietly as possible and started tiptoeing upstairs.

“Lindsay?” Joshua called out.

Alex stopped tiptoeing and sighed. “No, just me.”

There was a pause.

“Alex?” Matt sounded surprised. There was the screech of a chair being pushed back, and then his brother walked out, half-illumined by the dim living room lights.

At eighteen, Matt looked nothing like Alex. In fact, Matt’s face was a carbon copy of their father's, something that relatives loved to gush over. They had the same chestnut brown hair, dark eyes, and masculine features. People recognized him instantly as Joshua Donovan’s son.

“Yeah, I just gotta pick up something.” Pushing past his brother, Alex tried to reach the stairs. He glanced around for a stray purse, maybe heels, anything that hinted at the presence of a certain redheaded woman.

“She’s not here,” Matt said. “She had to stay home with the cat.”

Alex gave his brother a death stare.

“Alex,” Joshua called, sounding a little stern.

“What? I’m just picking up a game.” Alex slunk away from the stairs and walked halfway to the kitchen, just enough for his father to see him, but not enough that Alex could see right back. He and Matt really were twins, besides Joshua being older and far more muscular from years of sports.

Everything had a clinical feel to it, like he was walking in a dream-version built on a vague skeleton of the Lisle house.

“Why are you home so early, anyway?” Matt asked. “Did you get into a fight with Blair?”

“Of course not,” Alex said. “I literally just have to pick something up.”

“Did you get in trouble with Harriet Lisle?” Joshua asked, still seated at the table.

“No.” Alex scowled. As if that’d ever happen.

“Are you here to have dinner with us?” Matt, annoyingly, sounded even more surprised than he did earlier.

“This would make a really good comedy bit, you know,” Alex said. “It’s like those three dumb guys.”

“Alex.”

“God, I already said I just need to pick up a game.” He couldn’t even find it in himself to be upset. A part of him had expected this. Maybe he’d even wanted this. It made a good distraction. “And then I’m heading back to Blair’s. Everything’s fine. Actually, it’s even better than fine. He got into Edgewood.”

He braced himself.

“Edgewood? The academy in Hillsborough?” Joshua mulled over it for a second. “That’s a great school.”

“We’re celebrating,” Alex said bitterly. Matt stood silently beside him.

“It makes sense he’d end up there,” Joshua said. “You know, if you’d just applied yourself in school a little more, you could’ve ended up there too. I don’t know what you’re doing all the time over there if he’s getting admitted to these schools and you’re barely even bothering with sports.”

Alex leaned against the wall and shrugged.

“Matt’s going to UCLA this year just through decent grades and good extracurriculars,” Joshua continued. “You’ve got a lot of good examples in your life to look up to, so I don’t know why you keep slacking off.”

“There’s always next year,” Matt said placatingly. Alex could feel his brother’s eyes flitting back and forth between the two. “A lot of people can get into those schools just on athletics alone. And Alex’s got that covered.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Alex said. The distraction had gotten a little too good. He didn’t even have it in him to provoke it further. “Sorry to interrupt your family dinner.”

Without another word, he pulled away from the door. The silence behind him probably meant the two were exchanging glances, passing their silent judgment on him as always. It didn’t matter though. It never did, and especially not now.

Everything was going to change.