Brandon Smiling: From the Billy Chase Chronicles (3) - 2. Entry 2

Friday

It’s getting harder to do.

This charade of just being Billy’s friend!

It’s just very hard not to want to, at least, hold his hand at lunch when we’re alone. I hate being ‘careful’! I don’t want to be careful! I want to be able to touch, kiss, and snuggle with my loving boyfriend without having to worry about anything! Billy wouldn’t need much convincing! He is terrible at hiding his feelings, I’ve noticed! The way he looks at me makes me have to look away and try not to blush my fool head off! There’s so much desire in those looks! He wasn’t kidding! He really does love me! I have to catch myself so I don’t return that look! If I’m not careful I will return Billy’s passionate look whenever I see him. Billy is beyond beautiful! His every color, his every shape, is like God made this perfect, perfect boy and allowed him to become mine! His skin glows in the sun! Did you know that? It’s so perfect that the sun just shines off of him like he’s made of light! Billy’s lips are so soft, full, and pink! They remind me of candy, for some reason, but they’re twice as sweet! My mouth waters every time I look at them remembering that kiss we shared on Wednesday!

But, I had to push all that away every time I saw him today. We CAN’T be discovered! That just won’t do!

I was reminded of that when I saw Stevie today. He looked so-o miserable! His shoulder looked like it hurt, his eye had just begun to heal, and I don’t know if he’ll ever recover emotionally! He was a prime example of why Billy and me have to be so damned careful around here! Until this school starts taking the safety of its students seriously, we’re going to have to be careful!

I talked to Stevie a bit. He mostly just used one syllable words to say anything to me. Was he doing ok? ‘Yeah.’ Did it hurt a lot? ‘Nah.’ Have Karl and Jason been bugging any more you lately? ‘…no.’ That sort of thing. That last ‘no’ I didn’t believe, by the way.

He’s starting to worry me again! He doesn’t want to talk to anyone or hang out with me or anything! He’s totally withdrawing from everyone and everything and that concerns me. I wonder if I need to talk to someone about it? But, who could I trust to talk to? Not the teachers, councilors, or administrators at school! They don’t seem to fucking care!

Maybe his mom? But, I think Stevie would see that as a betrayal on my part. Actually, doing anything about Stevie behind his back would be considered a betrayal. I can’t do that to him! He’s been through enough!

I guess the best I can do is just be there for him if he needs a friend. Yeah…I think that’s the best thing. I told him I’d call him later to check on him and he seemed to be ok with that. That’s something anyway. Probably not enough, but it is something.

In any case, Billy isn’t going to end up like Stevie! I’m not going to let that happen! Especially, to Billy! My heart would break to pieces if something we did together caused anyone to physically or emotionally abuse Billy in any way!

Being careful aside, though, I know I can’t resist finding some quality time that I can spend with Billy out of the sight of everyone! The pressure of my love builds to exploding! Ever since I finally admitted to him that I love him, the need for Billy has increased almost beyond anything I can take!

I need to be with him and to kiss him soon or all bets are off about being careful anymore! I need Billy! I need him like I need water or air!

So, I agreed to us meeting up on Saturday! He told me, unfortunately, that his Mom will be home ‘allllll day’ which means no serious fooling around, but at least I’d get to be with him and see him and, maybe, even kiss him again in his room.

The promise of that is keeping me from becoming a complete basket case tonight! I swear that if we hadn’t agreed to seeing each other tomorrow I would have found a way to climb in through his bedroom window tonight and have my way with him! I can’t wait to taste every succulent inch of him! I’ve never done that with anyone before, but just imagining it is enough to make me harder than diamonds!

One day, when all the stars align and we can finally be alone together, just the two of us, we’ll have that sexy time! It will have to happen soon or I’ll be kidnapping Billy and dragging him off under the bleachers at school! I need to feel him in my mouth and I need to feel that soft, plump, bubbly butt in my hands as I knead away at him like making bread!

I’ve got to stop now and work this off! Just thinking about it is driving me crazy!

This is Brandon kneading Billy’s bread!

Saturday

Ohhhh God, did I want to get into Billy’s pants today!

Double-curse Mrs. Chase for wanting to be home today! I know that’s not nice, but it’s true! She’s a wonderful woman. I can see where Billy gets a lot of his best traits, but still…why couldn’t she have had a Ladies’ Day Out or a card game to go to or something!

Ok, I take it back. I so-o don’t want to curse Billy’s mom! I’m just so sexually…frustrated! It didn’t help that Billy was pressing or, rather, squeezing all my right buttons today. Can you squeeze a button? I don’t know, but my BUTT is definitely my big button and Billy got to squeeze and knead me into a total sexual frenzy this afternoon! I suppose, I was the bread that needed kneading today! Oh, man!

Did we kiss? Boy, did we kiss, but let me back up a tick!

So, despite all my game of ‘keep-away’ with Billy yesterday, trying to be ‘careful’ and whatever, we made plans for me to come over to his place today. I tell you, I could hardly sleep last night waiting with total anticipation! He warned me that his Mom was going to be home all day, but that, maybe, we could sneak in a kiss or two if we really tried hard enough!

We made plans to have lunch at his house so I got there around Noon-ish. I’d have gotten there at 5 AM if I could have gotten away with it, but I thought that might not work somehow.

His Mom had ordered pizza which, honestly, I only ate a slice out of politeness because the butterflies in my tummy were fluttering so hard that I was afraid I might throw up. That would have been a great first impression with Mrs. Chase and such a romantic thing to do for Billy.

I was patient and respectful to Mrs. Chase, but I wished that lunch could have gone faster. I was hungry for someone a lot tastier than pizza and he was sitting right across from me, so close and yet so far. The fact that Billy kept giving me those long, lingering looks was making it harder and harder for me to keep my composure too! It’s a wonder that his Mom didn’t know something was up between us! Definitely, something was ‘up’ with me almost the very minute I entered Billy’s house!

Finally, Mrs. Chase excused us from the table and I swear Billy and me nearly ran into his room! Billy practically slammed the door shut the minute we got in there. Then, there we stood, right in front of one another. Billy smiled with such excitement and happiness and his apple red cheeks were glowing so perfectly! He was so eager to ‘get it on’ that I had to giggle a bit.

At last I couldn’t hold back anymore and I told him, “God, Billy...it feels so weird being able to tell you this...but...I love you.” It felt so silly to say it like that. I blushed and giggled because I couldn’t hold that fizzy feeling inside of me anymore. All that pressure inside from me having to keep things bottled up all week was getting ready to pop just like a soda bottle that had been shaken up too much.

Then he does the sexiest thing! Billy takes me by my belt loops and pulls me right up against him! I could feel the warmth of his sweet body right next to mine and then I leaned in for that kiss I’ve been hungering for ever since Wednesday!

He bit his full pink bottom lip and said, “I've been wanting to kiss you again since...forever.”

I simply responded with the obvious truth, “Me too.” Then I felt Billy shiver against me and that brought a shivering thrill down my spine too!

But then, heeheehee, instead of getting my kiss, Billy quickly turned his head and let out this colossal burp! Hahahaha! I couldn’t help it! It was so unexpected and funny right at that moment that I cracked up right in his face! Billy is too cute! He’s too adorable for words! Sweet, funny, kind, passionate…he is everything you’d ever want in a boyfriend! Everything!

Then we both settled down and I couldn’t stand it anymore. No more silly interruptions! This was serious business here! I’d waited for my kiss ‘forever’ just like Billy said, and now I was going to get it!

I leaned in and then closed my eyes and felt those magically delicious candied lips meet mine. A spike of energy just flowed through me at the first touch of our lips and I hugged Billy closer to me, feeling his slight body press against mine. It was electric and it seemed to make every hair on my body stand on end! My goosebumps were getting goosebumps!

Once we shared that first kiss, we couldn’t stop.

Our tongues intwined and the feeling left me weak in the knees so we ended up on the floor behind his bed under his window. On the floor we rolled around in each other’s arms, sucking the breath from each other’s lungs with how hard we kissed!

Our kisses weren’t the only things that were hard either. For the first time, I felt Billy’s sex through his pants. It met mine through the material of our pants and my body instinctively flexed to meet and grind into that hardness. The feeling sent shocks of pleasure through me which only made me kiss Billy more deeply and passionately!

A few times during out make-out session Billy’s Mom would knock on the door to check in on us. At one point, Billy had to get up and untangle himself from my clutching arms and legs so that he could turn on the music to, maybe, block out whatever moans and whimpers that we were making.

At least Billy had some sense to be that careful with his Mom. It made me relax a bit on his ability to keep us as much a secret as possible. Our secret life needs to remain that. A secret. Maybe one day, we can just be ourselves and not care what anyone else thinks, but for now…we have to be careful.

We continued kissing on the floor for a while longer until it came time for me to sorrowfully say goodbye.

Later on, he called me and we spent another couple of hours just talking. We didn’t get too lovey dovey…I didn’t want my Dad to catch anything ‘queer’ about how Billy and me were talking to each other.

It was wonderful to hear his voice and to, at least, be with him through the phone line.

I love that boy with all my heart and one day we won’t have to be careful anymore! What anyone else says won’t matter!

This is Brandon waiting for the day when I can kiss Billy out in the world like nobody’s watching!