The Blue Moon - 14. Chapter 14

Zdain

When their destination finally came into view, Zdain Monteilon was somewhat disappointed. The huge structure known as Castle Cache, with its towers and the sunburst flags of Andiol fluttering in the air, was undeniably impressive. But it was more imposing and ugly than the ostentatious palace he had expected from Lugas Bahrall's description.

It was a far cry from the beautiful Governor's Palace in Paidos, the only home Zdain had ever known. He had loved that house with all his heart - every cupboard and closet, the blooming garden and the dusty woodshed. But he could never return there again. The thought felt so bleak.

A high gate, decorated with fan-shaped patterns, led them into the courtyard of the complex. There, a couple of servant girls walked with laundry baskets in their arms, and against the wall of a low building that looked like a guardhouse, leaned an apparently bored soldier. No one paid much attention to the newcomers. Lugas Bahrall got off his horse and gave a shrill whistle. Soon a couple of men rushed from the stables to tend the horses.

The yard was not one open field, but was divided into several parts by the wings of the building, making it difficult to see the size of the area. It must have been large though, as the back of the yard was hidden behind the wings. It was very barren too. No matter how hard Zdain looked, he could not see a single plant, let alone a tree.

He turned his gaze to his fellow travellers. Two of Lugas Bahrall's companions were now leaving, heading for the wide staircase on the other side of the courtyard that must lead to the main entrance. The others dismounted at their own pace.

Josel's blond hair was tousled in a funny way from the ride. He looked around curiously. Zdain wanted to say something to the boy and move to his side, but it would not have been wise. It was better to keep a safe distance, not to get any closer to Josel, difficult as it was. Otherwise Zdain might make a fatal mistake, touch him, say or do something that would give everything away. Then Josel would hate him and Zdain would never be able to bear that.

Before Josel would notice his stare, Zdain shifted his eyes to Melgy. The grey-haired woman brushed the dust from her clothes with fierce determination. Melgy was a puzzle Zdain had tried to solve in his mind. She had tended to him carefully, kept watch by his bed, regardless of her own fatigue - or so Zdain had been told. Yet there had been no tenderness in her manner, not a single encouraging smile or gentle caress for the patient. It was as if the woman's heart was made of stone. Or maybe not stone initially, but solidified as such and then shattered into fragments.

I don't want to be like that. That's why Zdain fought fiercely to prevent his infatuation with Josel from turning into a crushing love. He wouldn't give in and ruin everything. Maybe in time the feeling would fade and they could be normal friends. As long as Zdain could still spend time with Josel. In the end, nothing else matters.

But the plan was thwarted by one sinister creature, Plinkinenkak Tikienkuu. She had tied Zdain to her leash, tightly and with no means of escape. To save his own skin, Zdain would have to betray Zal and the Blue Moon. It was a terrible punishment for loving Plinkinenkak's brother.

For Ade's sake, Zdain tried to convince himself. He would not betray others out of selfishness, but to keep Ade's sister alive. For one reason or another, the idea tasted like a sticky lie on the tip of his tongue.

Would it have been easier to let Plinkinenkak tell Josel the truth and accept his contempt and hatred? It was too late to back out now. Zdain had sealed his betrayal by sending a letter to the Shadow Cross.

During his last watch in the cargo hold, he had written a short note on Plinkinenkak's behalf. "I am a prisoner of Zaltarim Fizol on my way to Five Hills. Send reinforcements, now is a great chance to finish off the Blue Moon once and for all," Zdain had scribbled on a sheet of paper. Plinkinenkak had made sure that the envelope was addressed to 'Morth Lefretz'.

The opportunity to post the letter had come while they were staying at the inn. Zdain had lied to Josel about going out for some fresh air. He had gone to the courier and had paid for the letter's delivery to Dimalos. As Plinkinenkak had instructed, he had asked the courier for a stamped receipt to prove that the letter had been delivered. The sly dwarf had certainly left nothing to chance, and had smiled her wicked smile when Zdain had shown her the receipt the next day. If there had been a choice, any choice…

Zdain was jolted back to reality when the sand creaked beside him. "Just think, we'll soon be rid of this lot. I feel like kicking Ragart in the stomach as a parting gift," Josel whispered in his ear. That made Zdain laugh - out of politeness, not amusement.

"Or maybe not. My foot might get stuck in the fat," Josel added, chuckling at his own story.

"Are you sure they would let us leave just like that?" Zdain asked quietly, so the others wouldn't hear. If he and Josel could slip away on their own, Plinkinenkak's threats would become meaningless.

"That's what Zal promised me," Josel assured me. "If my dad is not here, we can decide for ourselves what to do."

To go somewhere alone with Josel. It seemed more than tempting. Zdain's stomach twisted as he imagined the two of them walking side by side down the country road towards the sunset.

Then a frantic shout came from behind them: "Josel!" and a blond, balding man ran towards them.

Zdain recognised Andreuz Sandkan, and at the same moment he knew that the dream of going away alone with Josel would never come true.

"Dad!" Josel gasped and rushed towards the man. That at least made the others realize who the intruder was. Marl and Ragart stepped aside, letting their already tense arms relax.

Zdain watched from the sidelines as Josel embraced his father. Surely everyone in the courtyard felt their joy. Finding Andreuz Sandkan must have meant a lot to Josel, who had lost his mother. Zdain tried to be happy for them.

Unfortunately, it was not that easy. He thought about his own parents. No one could have imagined Dareis Monteilon would throw himself into the arms of his son in the same way, but surely the reunion would have meant something to him too? And for his mother, of course.

Despite everything, Zdain missed his parents. After all, they were the only mother and father he had been given. Now they had not heard from their son in weeks, and Zdain believed - or at least hoped - that his parents were worried about him. Why weren't they in the courtyard of Castle Cache to meet them?

When Josel and Andreuz Sandkan had pulled away from each other, Zdain heard Josel telling his father about Curtus' death. Josel's voice was heavy, and for a moment Mr Sandkan's face showed deep sadness. The father stroked his son's hair and they both said a few words that Zdain could not hear.

"We'll talk more soon," Andreuz Sandkan said to his son, turning his attention to the other people in the courtyard. He took a few quick steps towards Zdain.

"It's good to see you," Andreuz began, and Zdain felt good that Josel's father had noticed him before Zal and the others.

"You too, Mr Sandkan," he replied, shaking the man's hand.

"Just call me Andreuz," Josel's father urged with a friendly smile.

"What about my parents? Are they..." Zdain asked hoarsely.

"They are well. They arrived here with me, but are now on their way to Dimalos. We'll talk more inside," Andreuz said, patting Zdain on the shoulder after seeing his expression.

Zdain suddenly felt weak. His mother and father were alive, but had left without seeing him. On their way to Dimalos, but why? Unless... Venr was in Dimalos. Big brother was all right, wasn't he? A new pang of worry gripped his stomach. He had to focus his thoughts elsewhere, quickly.

So Zdain glanced at Josel, who seemed to have trouble controlling his emotions. The boy's cheeks flushed and he stared at his father, oblivious to the rest of the world. Zdain gave Josel a tender look, which fortunately he did not notice. Then he turned to watch Andreuz greet Zal.

"It's been a long time, Zal," Andreuz said, squeezing the old man's bony hand with both hands.

"Indeed it has. We have a lot to talk about, but it's not quite time yet."

"Thank you for looking after the boys."

"It's the least I can do. My condolences on Curtus' death," Zal said in a serious tone, the sad lines on his face deepening.

"Thank you, your message arrived at Castle Cache yesterday with your bird, but I still haven't quite realized that Curtus is gone," Andreuz said.

"Yes, there are various details of his death that we need to discuss in a quieter place," Zal said, gesturing towards Melgy, Marl and Ragart. "Allow me to introduce my associates."

When the pleasantries were exchanged, Lugas Bahrall's comrades returned with a new person.

He was a young man with brown hair, not much older than twenty. His pleasantly masculine face, the stubble on his chin and the bulging muscles under his shirt did not go unnoticed by Zdain.

"Welcome to Castle Cache," the young man said, touching his temple in greeting. As he did so, he smiled with all his white teeth. It was a smile you couldn't help but like. Or so Zdain thought.

"Renn! It's been a long time," Zal said, more cheerful than usual. Melgy's benevolent expression and Ragart's good-humoured chuckle also indicated that the visitor was a friend. Zdain tensed as the handsome man's gaze swept over him.

"It's been at least three months. Probably the last time was in Narrow Lake, in that mouldy smelling pub. Remember?" the young man replied, rushing to hug Melgy.

"It's so good to see you, Renn," Melgy said, returning the hug almost motherly.

More greetings and handshakes were exchanged.

Zdain glanced at Josel, standing next to his father, to see what he thought of the newcomer. Goldy looked at Renn indifferently, though perhaps a little wary.

After Marl had murmured a few short, albeit friendly sentences, Renn's attention turned to Zdain and Josel. "Andreuz is an old acquaintance, but I don't know you two. Zal, have you taken a couple of apprentices to help you?"

Without waiting for an answer, Renn took a few steps and was suddenly in front of Zdain.

"Greetings. I am Renn Tauganei," the young man said with a smile that made Zdain's knees weaken. It took him a moment to remember how to shake another person's hand. Before Zdain could compose himself, Renn had moved to Josel.

The last thing Renn noticed was Plinkinenkak, bound and gagged in Ragart's saddle. "Why is she tied up?" he asked Zal, obviously surprised.

"The dwarf is a prisoner whom I will present to the Council."

"Ah! I hope the living gift will appease my uncle. Raff has been in a bad mood lately. Because of the Shadow Cross, mostly. I have some things to tell you..." Renn started, but stopped when he saw the look on Zal's face.

"Later. First I'd like to go into the room and stretch my tired legs," the old man explained. Zdain assumed that this was only a half-truth. In reality, Zal wanted to avoid the prying ears of the courtyard.

"Very well," Renn replied. Then he spoke to Lugas Bahrall, who was standing in the distance. "What do you think, are the travellers' rooms ready? I can lead them to the guest wing."

That was fine with Lugas, who waved goodbye and left with his subordinates. When the servants were finally gone with the horses, Renn nodded towards the nearest door and guided the rest of the party inside the castle.

Zdain felt a stab of envy as Josel walked ahead of him with his father's arm protectively around his shoulders. Dareis Monteilon never walked like that with his sons - or if he did, it was only with Venr. The thought made Zdain even more miserable, but he tried not to show his bad mood to the others and concentrated on looking at the building they had just entered.

At first glance, the interior of Castle Cache seemed no more homely than the gloomy facade. The corridors were stone-cold, with only the occasional tapestry to brighten the scene. They met some servants, guards and what Zdain assumed were Imperial officials.

All the passers-by greeted Renn, who was at the head of the group, chatting with Ragart. Marl was mostly huffing and puffing, still carrying tied-up Plinkinenkak. Melgy and Zal walked in silence, as if the dreary castle had suddenly darkened their mood.

Finally, after many turns and a few flights of stairs, they reached their destination. Surprisingly, the corridors of the guest wing could be described as cosy. There was pale paint on the walls, long colourful carpets and large windows. The corridor must have been heated too, as it did not feel cold at all.

"Your rooms are on this floor. I guarantee the beds will be soft," Renn said, grinning happily. "The chamberlain will show you to your quarters," he added. He snapped his fingers and summoned an apologetic-looking old servant to the room.

Soon, two burly guards appeared behind Renn. They took Plinkinenkak from Marl.

"Don't worry," Renn assured. "The prisoner will be taken to a safe place. I'll talk to Uncle Raff and the other council members. I think I can get you to the Great Council - maybe by tomorrow."

Zal frowned. "That is fine. I have a lot to tell Raff Gennebeck."

"I'll get back to you soon," Renn said. He exchanged a few words with the old chamberlain and then turned to leave. Before that, for one reason or another, he looked at Zdain. Strangely, he smiled.

"Your rooms, gentlemen," the chamberlain said quietly, almost in a whisper, after Renn had left. Zal and Ragart wanted their own rooms, but Melgy and Marl, as expected, were content to share.

Josel turned to his father and asked: "Where is your room, can I stay there too?"

Andreuz Sandkan was about to answer when he suddenly seemed to remember something. He lifted his chin and looked at Zdain, who at that moment was trying to be as small and inconspicuous as possible. It would have been pointless to expect Josel to share the room with him rather than his father. And hadn't Josel rejoiced on many occasions during the journey to be rid of Zdain. Now it would come true.

"I have to stay up late for negotiations. It would be more convenient for you to bunk with Zdain," Andreuz pointed out.

Disappointment flashed across Josel's face, but he nodded.

Zdain was embarrassed; had Andreuz Sandkan, despite his words, given up the opportunity to share a room with his son just so Zdain would not feel lonely? It was far too kind of him, but how would Josel take it? Zdain dared not meet Josel's or his father's gaze again. An unpleasant lump seemed to cling to the back of his throat and Zdain tried to swallow it away.

* * *

Once their few belongings had been delivered to the bedrooms, Zdain found himself in the company of Josel and Andreuz. The others had gone their separate ways. Josel's father directed them into the room where some food had been laid out.

"Please, tell me all about it," Andreuz Sandkan urged, once they were seated.

Zdain still felt a little uncomfortable around a stranger. He nibbled silently at a piece of bread and let Josel describe the departure from Paidos and the night's ride. When Josel reached the point where the dreader had ambushed them on the road, he began to hesitate. His father motioned for the boy to jump over that part.

Josel nodded and continued. He explained their trudge through the forest, but when he came to the encounter with the group led by Jolanda, Josel glanced warily at Zdain. In a vague way, he mentioned the shadow sentries, but not their beautiful leader.

Although Zdain knew he should have been amused by Josel's embarrassing infatuation with Isendar Vargan's daughter, he was not. It was harrowing to know that Josel's heart beats - or at least had beaten - for someone else. And that someone else was a girl, ensuring that Zdain himself would never stand a chance of arousing similar feelings in Josel.

Josel wouldn't have been Josel if he had not started to tease Zdain when he described the flying beast's attack on their swimming trip. Had it been just the two of them, Zdain would have argued. Now he just scowled and, with a small smile, told Andreuz Sandkan that he was not offended by his son's banter.

"We all get scared sometimes," Josel's father mused, but then changed his tone to a more serious one. "Zal told me about the faceless. If I had known what awaited you in Marta Donthav's house... I feel terrible for sending you there. I'm sorry," he said, looking pained.

"How could you have known!" exclaimed Josel.

"If anyone should have, it was me," Andreuz replied. "The messages and members of the Blue Moon have passed through Marta's house for countless years. In my ignorance, I imagined that nothing could threaten you there. Again, I owe a great debt of gratitude to Zal Fizol."

"What do you mean again?" Josel asked.

"He saved me from the greatest danger of my life when you were just a little baby."

"Zal mentioned something about that… but where was Mom then, he only talked about you?"

Josel's father seemed startled by the question, or so Zdain thought. "Your mother... she was with us, of course she was," Andreuz responded in a tone that suggested no more information was forthcoming.

Dissatisfaction showed on Josel's face, but he persistently turned the conversation back to Zal. "Do you trust that old man?" he demanded, beginning to spout the same accusations that Plinkinenkak had filled his ears with on the ship.

Andreuz did not look convinced. "A Fallen? Josel, that's ridiculous. Zaltarim Fizol has been fighting the Darkness for decades, carrying on alone even when others beside him have given up..."

"What about Ragart? A child murderer, a rapist!" Josel interrupted, his voice cracking with anger.

He seemed to have swallowed Plinkinenkak's stories whole. Zdain suspected that this was exactly what the dwarf wanted - to sow discord and turn Josel against his companions. Sometimes Josel Sandkan was too gullible.

Andreuz must have thought so too, for he shook his head emphatically and said: "Don't believe the gossip this conniving woman spreads."

"It's not gossip!"

"Yes, it is," said Andreuz. "Gossip and lies. I don't know Ragart Zapp personally, but Zal has told me of his unjust conviction. Ragart was framed and sentenced to hard labour. Isn't that punishment enough for an innocent man?"

Josel did not object, but a look of displeasure crossed his face. Zdain knew that the golden-haired boy was as stubborn as a mule and would not give in easily.

Andreuz added: "I don't doubt Zal's judgement when it comes to choosing partners for his journeys. If Zal or his friends were what this shade commando says they are, you and Zdain would not be standing before me unharmed."

Zdain agreed. Zal and his comrades were certainly not the monsters Josel had imagined. The real devil was much smaller, but a hundred times more hideous.

The very thought of Plinkinenkak made him grit his teeth. She had said on the ship that the truth would find its way into Josel's ears, even from the dungeons of Castle Cache. There were always easily bribed servants or some other dirty trick. Even when the dwarf was out of sight, Zdain was no less concerned.

When Josel went on to tell of their escape from Martha's house, he again cleverly omitted Jolanda's name, which Zdain understood perfectly. No one wanted to reveal their love life to their own parents - least of all Zdain himself.

"Zdain knows nothing about coming aboard, he was asleep the whole time." Josel grinned, like the way he always did when he was joking.

"Uh, I remember being sick," Zdain remarked without being indignant. He had not forgotten how caring Josel had been on the ship during his recovery. Whether it was just out of a sense of duty or not, Josel had cared in some way, and it felt good.

"Josel, you're not funny," Andreuz interjected. "What happened after that?"

"Those thugs - Zal and Ragart - started threatening me in the cabin. They showed me Curtus' pistol and suspected me of murdering him..." Josel's voice trailed off, his face filled with emotion.

"How did it happen? How did good old Curtus die?" Andreuz asked in a sad voice, his face grave.

It sounded personal and Zdain realised he was an outsider. Before Josel could start, Zdain pushed his chair back and cleared his throat. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be right back."

"You don't have to leave," Andreuz said, but did not stop him as Zdain backed away towards the door.

Josel remained silent. Again, Zdain dared not meet his gaze.

Once outside the room, Zdain walked aimlessly down a long corridor until he came to a stone staircase. Zdain shrugged to himself and climbed the stairs. Halfway up, he paused for a moment on the landing. There was a glass door in front of him and a small balcony behind it. The fresh air was exactly what he needed. Without further hesitation, Zdain carefully opened the door and pushed his way out.

The wind hit the balcony with a chill. There was nothing in front of him but an empty castle courtyard below. The drop to the ground was considerable, but Zdain did not feel dizzy.

Instead, he felt a little sad. The talk of Curtus' death was not the only reason that made him leave the room. It was hard to witness how close Josel was to his father. Quite different from Zdain and Dareis Monteilon.

Zdain closed his eyes. He felt the breeze on his face and the mild spring air wafting through his nostrils. What would it be like to stand there forever, blown by the wind and whipped by the rain? Zdain pictured himself as a statue, silent and frozen in place, watching the years roll by and generations pass on.

Time would erode the statue, too, but much more slowly than it would a man. As a statue he would be strong, not weak and vulnerable as a human. He wouldn't have to worry about an angry father, or a cruel dwarf, or Ade who was somewhere far away. The statue would just stand still, staring at the same landscape with its blind eyes, listening to the wind in its deaf ears. Then there would be no worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. You could just be.

A click behind him snapped Zdain out of his thoughts and he turned suddenly in the direction of the sound. He found himself staring through the window at the blond boy, the mere sight of whom made his heart pound in his chest.

Josel opened the door and let Zdain in. "Dummy, why did you disappear? Dad was wondering too," he huffed.

"I just..." Zdain began, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"You're a damn fool, Monteilon," Josel said, smiling.

"So are you."

"Less often than you," Josel announced, nudging Zdain playfully on the shoulder.

The other boy's touch was like a spark running through Zdain's body. Josel had come for him, at his father's request or not, but he had come nonetheless. It meant a lot to Zdain. For the first time during that day, he felt good.

"Come on. Let's go explore this damn castle," Josel suggested.

Zdain had nothing against it. Together they set off to find the most exciting places in Castle Cache, and Zdain, for all his thoughts, did not want to turn into a statue anymore.

* * *