Traded Goods - 34. Chapter 34

Cosy warmth enveloped him. Devin pressed against Leo, and Leo reached out, stroking his head. Coarse hair slipped through his fingers-
“Daddy?”
Leo’s eyes shot open. Devin’s voice hadn’t come from beside him.
He let out a muffled curse, scrambling away from Jeisa. Caught up in the comforter, Leo extricated himself painfully, nearly hitting his head on the wall.
“What?” Jeisa jolted awake. Wide green eyes stared at Leo. Jeisa groaned. “Aw fuck. Don’t worry, we didn’t-”
Leo clamped his hand over Jeisa’s muzzle to shut the tiger up.
“‘Evi’?”
“I had a bad dream,” Devin whimpered, crawling onto the bed.
Leo glowered at Jeisa, who stared back impassively. Pointing to the clothes neatly folded on a dresser, Leo crossed his arms. Jeisa sighed and crawled out of bed to put on some pants. Devin’s eyes followed him until Leo slipped his hands over them.
“Why doesn’t Jeisa have clothes on?”
“Because sometimes adults like to sleep without clothes,” Jeisa said over Leo’s groan.
“Oh. Like Cai!” Devin nodded sagely.
“Yeah, like Cai…” Jeisa agreed uncertainly. “I mean, most Cervidae probably sleep naked.”
“Come here,” Leo said, opening his arms.
Devin crawled into them and Leo embraced him tightly. He ruffled Devin’s hair, drawing a giggle from Devin. A moment later, the covers were drawn over them both, and Jeisa crawled back into bed, suitably clothed. They settled down again, Devin snuggled between them both, and Leo set an arm around his son. His eyes drifted shut-
-and shot open as an alarm broke the morning calm.
Jeisa groaned, sitting up slowly.
“Who votes for not going to school today?”
“Uh uh,” Leo grunted, sliding out of bed. He grabbed his tablet, looking up the schedule for the day, only to find there was none. “It’s your day off. I have practice.”
His tablet didn’t have the bite Leo’s voice would have, but he figured his scowl did the trick nicely.
“Great. Devin, wanna sleep in?” Jeisa yawned as Leo got up.
“Uh uh,” Leo said, typing again. “Breakfast-”
“I’ll cook later.” Jeisa collapsed back into bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Leo groaned. He needed caffeine. Needed to wake up. Trudging from the room, he headed out to the kitchen. A few minutes later, a pot of coffee warmed on the stove as Leo focused on making his eggs and ham.
Tiny feet padded quietly into the room. Devin pulled himself into a chair, watching his dad work. A minute later, Jeisa followed them, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. He had finally put a shirt on, and stared wryly at the almost-nude Leo.
“And you complain that I sleep naked while you’re out here cooking in underpants.”
Leo grunted. They’d literally just seen why sleeping naked was a bad idea. Besides, what he was doing was completely different — Leo had some clothing on.
“Please don’t fight…”
“Uh uh,” Leo said softly, turning toward Devin. Devin ran up to him, and Leo ruffled his hair again. He turned back to the task at hand as Devin wrapped his arms around Leo’s waist.
“So how was it last night?” Jeisa spoke up as he sat at the table. “I mean, it seems like she just dumped you off as soon as the deed was done-”
“Uh uh,” Leo snapped. Plating the food, he smacked the plates down on the table and reached for his tablet. “Nothing happened,” the robotic voice said a moment later. “She’s a he-”
“She’s a she,” Jeisa denied. “Besides, that’s never stopped you before. You were all over me on Aegean Station. Those were the good old days, huh?”
Leo glowered at the tiger.
“But now you’re trying to tell me an Egaro didn’t-”
“Shut up,” the tablet said over Jeisa’s words.
Jeisa stared at Leo, a clear challenge in his eyes.
“Devin and I had a lot of fun last night,” he continued as though Leo’s tablet hadn’t interrupted. “We made new characters in LoH, and Devin learned a few more words in Xanthian.”
“Start!” Devin said proudly. “And re… res… respawn?”
Jeisa nodded with a smile.
“He chose a really interesting path to conquering the kobold village. He challenged their chieftain to heal five injured kobolds. When they couldn’t do that, they had to step down. He now has a chieftain as an advisor.”
“Wow,” Leo said out loud. That certainly wasn’t something he would have thought of. He smiled at his son, and Devin beamed back, luxuriating in all the attention. “Can he actually do that?” Leo typed out.
“Apparently! The game runs off the same kind of AI as a synth, so characters can react realistically to a player’s actions. To conquer the villages, you have to win a direct challenge against the village leader, and Devin did that, so the AI rewarded him appropriately.”
Leo stared confusedly at Jeisa. Jeisa shrugged, taking another bite of his ham.
“Synth Club. Collin’s a genius when it comes to AI, and he walked me through the game. Called it a fun side project. It gave me a headache.”
“The club with all the Cervidae?” Leo typed out slowly, somewhat dreading the answer.
“Yep! The triplets invited me for a somnus at their place later today,” Jeisa challenged, eyes boring into Leo’s.
“Have fun,” the tablet said flatly, not giving any hints to Leo’s true reaction.
“I will,” Jeisa retorted.
“I might look for Mason,” Leo typed out.
“Someone has to watch Devin.”
“I’ll ask Siôn.”
“It’s his day off,” Jeisa pointed out.
“What do you want? You won’t be here, and I have practice.”
“I can watch me,” Devin suggested helpfully.
“Uh uh,” both adults said at the same time.
Devin huffed and slumped into his seat. He sat up a moment later, eyes shining with hope.
“Cai?”
Leo sighed. But it was probably the best idea any of them were going to come up with. He just hoped Siôn would be okay watching the kids. Or maybe Bethan would watch them. Either way, there wasn’t much else he could think to do with Devin.
So, with breakfast eaten and everyone dressed for the day, the trio made their way to Cai’s house and rang the doorbell. The door opened a moment later, and Leo glimpsed a half-clothed deer scampering through the house behind Bethan.
Bethan shouted something over her shoulder in a language Leo hadn’t heard before. Turning back to the trio, she had nothing but smiles for them.
“Please forgive me. Cai’s being… fashionably challenged.” Rolling her eyes, Bethan glanced between Devin, Leo, and Jeisa. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”
“We were hoping Devin could play with Cai for a while today,” Jeisa said, blinking as a naked Cai raced behind his mother’s back.
“Llwynog a'r Ddraig- Cai! Put your clothes on!”
“But you said get undressed!” the buck challenged, skidding to a stop behind his mother.
“I said get dressed in something warmer. Now go. Devin’s dad doesn’t want him playing with naked Cervidae.”
That sent him scurrying away. Leo bit back a chuckle — he remembered when Devin was constantly taking off clothes and running around naked. He was just glad that phase had passed quickly.
“We’d love to have Devin over, as long as Cai can keep himself dressed,” Bethan added. “I’m no Siôn, Fox bless his soul, but I like to think I can be somewhat popular with the young ones. Do you know when you’ll be back?”
Leo and Jeisa glanced at each other. Leo shrugged, and Jeisa sighed.
“Um… probably 2, 3 in the afternoon?”
“After our midday somnus. I assume you would like Devin to sit that out?” Bethan asked.
Leo nodded firmly. Seeing Cai naked was one thing; cuddling with his whole family while nude was taking things too far.
“If you don’t mind,” Jeisa added with a small smile. “I hate to be a hassle but-”
“Oh not at all. I get it. You’re not the first Faro I’ve had this discussion with. The first who stayed past ‘Hello’, maybe…” Bethan held out her hand to Devin, who eagerly stepped into a hug. “Have you eaten yet dear?”
Devin nodded quickly as Bethan ushered him inside. With one last smile at Jeisa and Leo, the door closed, letting the two walk away. Leo glanced over, a little confused at the tiger’s actions. It was like he was pretending to be Devin’s mother. It needed to stop — Jeisa was the reason Devin didn’t have a mother.
“Well, I’m leaving,” Jeisa said as they reached their house.
He was leaving this early for a nap? That made no sense at all. But Leo wasn’t going to openly question it. He really didn’t care what Jeisa was doing.
Watching the tiger fiddle with his tablet, Leo found another discrepancy — the Synth Club met on campus. Why was Jeisa calling for a car to take him somewhere?
Again, not his problem. They weren’t married, and the cuddling of last night had been a mistake. Leo didn’t need to know what Jeisa was doing. He didn’t want to know what Jeisa was doing.
The more he told himself that, the less true it became.

“Before we begin today, I want to remind you this is a safe space,” Scholar Gareis said. “Nothing you say here will leave this room.”
“You say that every time I come in here.”
“Because every time you’ve come in here, you’ve introduced me to theoreticals that could destabilise the entire Alliance,” Gareis replied with a strained smile.
“Such as theoretically having a Lidikrys warship enslaving people from protectorate worlds?” Jeisa shot a nervous grin, his fur raising. How much more could he get away with here before everything was ruined?
A muscle twitched in the dusty Faro’s face.
“Such as that, yes,” Gareis said.
“It’s how I met my bonded,” Jeisa added apologetically. “Most parents are more than happy to take their kit to auction when the time comes. But no, Segal had me traipsing around the galaxy, getting them from the source.”
Therapy was hard when you were only worried about the therapist liking you. When you introduced government-shattering truths… Jeisa wasn’t sure this was the best idea anymore.
“It is an… interesting take on finding a bonded, but I’m sure you’re not the first to do it,” Gareis said delicately.
“Leo was my third attempt,” Jeisa stated bluntly. “The first was a Daknar who’s stone lit up when I was a kit. She vanished a day later, and I never saw her again.” As usual, Matyáš was to blame for her death. “The next was a… Coriga? who found a way to strangle themself in my quarters.” He shuddered at the memory. There was no way they’d hung themself like that, not without help. “I’d tried to make them part of the crew, and they seemed happy. I was going through a phase at the time — I didn’t want to bond with anyone, and having them be part of the crew seemed like the right idea. Matyáš never claimed credit, but he later referred to spacing my last… project,” Jeisa said bitterly.
Through it all, Gareis was silent, fingers tapping over a holo-keyboard, collecting notes. It made Jeisa uncomfortable, but he couldn’t stop now.
“I wanted to stop after that. I went on cutting out parties. I made choices, I took people back to the ship. I would have stopped, but our next world, I chose wrong. I picked a family, because it would fill my quota faster. I didn’t realise the segal had a missing tongue. When I told Matyáš, he immediately wanted to throw Leo out the airlock. I claimed him as my bonded. I wasn’t planning on actually bonding with him. This time, making him part of the crew would work.”
“It didn’t,” Gareis summarised when Jeisa fell silent.
Jeisa shook his head.
“Matyáš told me in no uncertain terms that if I did not have sex with Leo, he would die. I… I…” Tears dripped from his eyes, blurring the tan walls of the office. “I did it. Or, Leo did it. He told me we were having sex, and he took me.”
“This implies you had no choice,” Gareis said quietly. “Did you choose to bond with Leo?”
“I didn’t have a choice! What else could I do, let him die?!”
“It’s not an enviable choice, but it is one,” Gareis pointed out. “You chose to bond with Leo.”
“I chose to bond with Leo,” Jeisa repeated reluctantly. “He had demands — of course he did. We would leave the ship. I would make sure his kit was cared for, safe. That went to shit the moment we landed.”
“Jeisa. The bonding,” Gareis interrupted gently. “Did it go okay?”
Jeisa shrugged.
“He… He did his thing. Then cried when I tried to do mine. I think his religion forbids sex between certain people, but we’ve never talked about it much.”
Gareis’ shoulders unwound slowly. Jeisa realised dimly just how much trouble he was in. Divulging all this information to a stranger, it was a horrible idea.
“Not all bonds are born of love,” Gareis said at length. “You were abused, and Leo got the spill-off of that abuse. Am I correct in assuming that I’m the first person you’ve told any of this?”
“We tried couples therapy, but our first day there, we were told there was little hope for us. Leo didn’t want to make an effort. His own partner had died a few days before,” Jeisa admitted reluctantly.
“It is entirely understandable that he wouldn’t want to work on a relationship while mourning another.”
The two were silent for a minute. Jeisa picked at a pant leg, staring at a thread unravelling in his fingers.
“Am I abusive to him?” he whispered. “I’ve done everything I could for him. I saved his kit. I saved him. I’ve taken him to school, to a spa, to the sauna-”
“Jeisa, why did you do those things?”
“He doesn’t appreciate any of it!”
More silence. Jeisa slumped in his chair.
“I don’t…” Squeezing his eyes shut, the tiger blinked back tears. “I don’t do it because I love him. I do it because I want him to love me.” He looked at Gareis, begging the Faro to believe him. “I’ve never struck him. The only time I used his collar was when he was strangling me.”
“Does he do that often?” Gareis demanded.
“He was in a war. He doesn’t mean anything by it, I know it!” Shuddering, Jeisa shook his head. “He’s only ever done it once, when I startled him. Please don’t take him away.”
Gareis sighed. Drumming his finger on his armrest, the fox stared blindly ahead. It would have been funny if it wasn’t so terrifying — had Jeisa broken his therapist?
“No one’s going to take him away.” Leaning forward, Gareis stared at the tiger. “You need to separate. None of this is healthy, for either of you.”
“I don’t-”
“Jeisa, this is important. You both need time to heal. And that healing should not be influenced by anyone. Trust me, I would not advise this unless it was dire. But staying together is only going to foster hatred. If you love him, you need to let him go. Let him be his own person.”
“And what about me? Am I supposed to live the rest of my life alone?” Jeisa demanded.
“Would you rather live your life with a bonded who despises you?”
“We already… He does what he wants. He went out with an Egaro last night. Said he didn’t do anything with her, but… but she’s an Egaro and-”
“You don’t trust your bonded,” Gareis pointed out.
It hit like a hammer. Jeisa sniffled, slumping back in his chair.
“He’s left before. He always comes back after a night. If I’m abusing him, why would he come back?” Jeisa rationalised.
“Because he doesn’t know anything else. Because he’s scared. Have you done anything for him that would allow him to live on his own?”
“He’s on the curling team at school.”
“Athletes make just enough to survive. No more, no less,” Gareis pointed out. “Does he know he can survive on those funds?”
Jeisa shrugged helplessly.
“He’s left before.”
“He has a kit to think about, doesn’t he?”
Jeisa froze. Devin… they could take Devin from Leo. How could he be so stupid?!
“No,” he lied quickly.
“Jeisa, you told me about him last visit. Devin, right?” Gareis said, glancing back through his notes. Tapping across his screen, he flicked at the tiger, and a quiet ding broke the oppressive silence that had quickly fallen. “Alliance programmes for families. Make sure Leo reads through them. They can help him and Devin, financially, with housing, with looking for a job. Give him everything he needs to leave comfortably.”
But what about him? What the fuck was Jeisa supposed to do? His heart was being shredded yet again, and everyone else seemed just fine with that!
“I know it’s hard,” Gareis said. “It’s going to be hard; there’s no way around that. But it’ll make your bonded happy. Doesn’t that make the pain worth it?”
Jeisa shook his head, staring at his feet. How could any of this be worth it? Once again he was alone in the world, without hope, without love.
Gareis sat in silence for a few minutes, letting Jeisa struggle through his emotions. But finally, the Faro stood up.
“Unfortunately, we’re out of time for this week. I’d like to welcome you back next week. We can get through this together.”
He ushered Jeisa from the room. Numbly, Jeisa made his way through the office and back outside. His tablet vibrated, a cheerful ring filling the air, and Jeisa answered listlessly.
“Hey Jeisa, the somnus is starting in a few minutes. Are you still in?” Jacob asked.
His cheer burned through Jeisa, an agonising sear that tore through his heart yet again.
“Yeah,” he breathed, turning toward the triplets’ house some ten minutes’ walk away. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”