A Dancers Love - 1. Chapter 1

“Dam it! Where the hell is she?!”

I was so pissed I failed to hear Mrs. B walking up behind me from where I was sitting on the curb.

 

“You ok honey?” she asked looking concerned.

 

“Yeah Mrs. B... She’s just late picking me up again.”

 

“Would you like a ride?”

 

“No… they’ll be here soon.”

 

“Ok,” she said giving me an unconvincing look. “I just got done locking up and ‘bout to leave so if they don’t show up, give me a call and I’ll come and get you.”

 

“Thanks Mrs. B, but I don’t think I’ll need it, I’ll be fine.”

 

“Ok honey, but the offer’s still there just in case.”

 

“Thanks Mrs. B.”

 

“No problem honey.”

 

I watched as she ran through the rain towards her car while trying not let her umbrella fly out of her grip. She got in her car, turned on the ignition, backed out, and drove away with a honk and a wave.

 

Mrs. Burnett, or Mrs. B as I call her, is starting to ask a lot of questions and keeping a close eye on me lately. I hope she doesn’t ruin this for me, I know I’m not living in the greatest place, but I pretty much can come and go as I please and have free rein of myself. If she interrupts that, then its back to group home and shelters that watch your every move 24/7… sigh.

 

I hate my life.

 

Let me give you some history of me while I wait for this dumb fuck…

 

My name is Brian Grubb and I’m gay. Many people don’t think I am because I act straight, but if they were to ask, I’d have no problem telling them. I live in a foster home with a single parent that’s the devils mom in the form of a slender tall blond by the name of Margaret. She pretty much made it clear that she took me in for the eight hundred dollars a month she receives for me living there. Out of that she hands me thirty a week, then has nothing to do with me. She has two kids, Eric and Alysha, that she treats like royalty.. I mean, she doesn’t even cook meals for me. When they eat, she makes enough for just the three of them. She never gives me rides to school or dance, nor from them. Not to mention she likes to play this exciting little game where she’ll lock me out of the house and not answer it to leave me searching for a place to lay my head, which is SUPER FUN! NOT! And now here I am, sitting outside of the deserted dance studio in the middle of a big rain storm at 11 pm waiting for her to pick me up like she said she would…

 

I should have been expecting this. I’m soooo stupid for actually thinking that the haggard old bitch would actually come and get me! I hope its cause she got into a car accident.. That would definitely be the greatest thing, haha. Why did I even believe her? Who knows, wishful thinking maybe? I’m never going to believe her again… God I hate her.

 

Maybe I should just call Uncle Mickey, maybe I can spend the night there again? I hope so. I get up and walk to the payphone by the studios door and put my money in and dial his number.

 

“Hello?” comes my uncles groggy voice from the phone.

 

“Hey, it’s Brian. Do you think you could do me a favor?” I replied hesitantly.

 

“Sure, what is it that you need?”

 

“Umm… do you think it’d be ok for me to crash there again tonight?”

 

“I’ve already told you your welcome here anytime. The Bitch stand you up again?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Alright, ill be there in a few..”

 

“NO! I mean no, its ok… ill catch the bus there.” I really don’t want to face him right now.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah, ill be there in a bit.”

 

“K, let yourself in. I’ll take you to school in the morning.”

 

“Sure, night Mickey.”

 

“Night.”

 

Sigh… better get to the bus stop before I miss it.

 

I rushed through the rain to the bus stop and waited for the local ‘chariot’ to arrive. I just hope Mickey doesn’t give me those weird looks this time. He looks at me with this weird mix between a starved hyena and longing.

 

I get to the stop just as the bus pulls up, put my money in, then sit down as it takes me to my uncles house. I get there about 15 minutes later, unlock the door and lock it behind me, go to the bathroom and dry myself then change into my pj’s. Then I grab a blanket and pillow from the hall way closet, lay down on the couch and fall into a peaceful escape of my shitty life.

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“NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

I jerk awake from my nightly slumber in a sweat with tears pouring down my face and my heart beating so fiercely I’m almost hyperventilating.

 

‘Why cant I just forget it? Why can’t I have just one peaceful rest without having that dam dream?! What ever Brian, get yourself together, she’s in the past. You have to make it through the day. Please.... don’t break down now’.

 

I take deep breaths to calm myself down and try wiping my eyes and cheeks with the comforter. I stand up off the couch with shaky legs and walk down the hall to the bathroom.

 

God I look like shit. My eyes are red and puffy with tear tracks down my cheeks and my face is all flustered looking. I splash some water on my face to get rid of the evidence of the unsettling repeated dream. I look at myself again, and cringe inwardly. I’m 15, a very short height of 5’6”, caramel complexion, and dark green eyes with brown flecks in them. I absolutely hate my body. Everyone says it’s girly shaped and ‘cute’, my waist is petite and widens out to a broad chest. Its not bad looking, I work out when ever I can and the exercise from dance gives me a lot of muscle definition and a six pack. Its just I wish I had a manly body, not ‘cute’ and feminine. I just hate the way I look period.

 

As I take off my pj pants I see my four inch scar running down my thigh. A lovely little reminder of how loving my dad was that I'm stuck with for the rest of my live.. I jump into the shower and let the warm water wash away my nighmare. I let the water wash away the images of her face that I’ve seen night after night. The loving look in her eyes, the sun of her smile. Then the transformation slowly turning into a look of shock and horror right before the shrieking of her voice piercing the air. Then watching as her head’s thrown and… “snap out of it!!! It’s over dam it! Grow some balls and let it go!!!” I shake my head flinging water around to throw the images out of my skull. I finish washing myself, step out of the shower and dry myself and get dressed. I look in the mirror to make sure I look decent, and walk into the kitchen for some quick grub to find my 20 year old cousin Halie making pancakes.

 

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

 

“Just needed a place to crash.”

 

“Brian…When are you going to ask to move already?”

 

“I’m NOT! We’ve been over this already.. It’s the best place I’ve been in so far. It’s not the homeliest, but she gives me money each week to stay out of her hair and I get total freedom.”

 

“I know, I just worry bout you Kid.”

 

“Well don’t! and stop calling me Kid, you know I hate that nickname!”

 

“Alright, alright! Don’t get all huffy! Do you need a ride to school?”

 

“Yeah, I don’t really want to wake up Mickey to take me.”

 

“K, well hurry up and eat, I’ll drop you off on my way to work.”

 

I dig into the plate of pancakes she set in front of me while she goes to her room to get ready for work. At least I wont have to put up with my Uncle constantly looking at me like I’m prime rib roast steak that he’s about to dig into.

 

We arrive at school an hour later she drops me off at school and I put on my happy mask. The one where I let people believe that I’m the happy go lucky kid that they want me to be. Sigh.. Hopefully someday it won’t just be an act… School blows by pretty fast for me as usual. I walk to first hour and do the work assigned, then walk to second, and so on and so forth. Easy as cake… Just dish out a few ‘heys’ and ‘hi’s’, make a little small talk with so called ‘friends’ in between classes and at lunch, then rush to catch the bus at the end of the school day to the dance studio, my sweet, sweet sanctuary.

 

Dance is all that keeps me going, it keeps me sane. I’ve only been dance for a year and a half, but I’ve advanced so fast that they bumped me up to be in their company in half a year. What can I say? I’m a natural at it. I’m constantly told by the parents that are there to watch their children dance how graceful and coordinated I am at it. It’s embarrassing for me, but I appreciate it none the less.

 

I arrive at the dance studio two hours before my first dance class starts. I walk up the stairs to the second floor of the studio where the ballet room and the biggest room is. All my classes are up here because the company classes are in the big room and all ballet classes are in the ballet room, which is what I have first. Ballet is my favorite, it makes me concentrate on my body movements instead of my life, which lets me focus on something else instead of how worthless I am in this world. Plus the ballet teacher Nancy is really nice!

 

I grab a corner back table in the common room, set up my books and binders and get to work on my homework.

 

“Is this seat taken?”

 

I look up to see the boy I’ve been lusting over for as long as I’ve been dancing in this studio, carrying a bag of food from Panda Express! He’s about six feet tall and my age being 15, green eyes, dirty blond hair, and a muscular build that would make you think that he’s way to buff to be a dancer, but is as graceful as a leopard. He’s not too buff though, like in between being cut and being muscular.. In other words, the perfect build! He’s a picture perfect person that makes everyone that looks at him drool and has this sex appeal about him that just oozes out of him at all times. And I’m just so lucky enough that he’s in all of my company classes!

 

“No. um… go ahead if you want.”

 

“Sweet! Thanks!”

 

I look around and notice that there are three other tables available, but I shrug it off.

 

I get back to my homework as he digs into his Chinese food. When I finish up my work a few minutes later, I start packing it into my backpack and start to stand up.

 

“You hungry?”

 

“Huh? Um… me?”

 

“I don’t see anyone else sitting here.”

 

“Um, kinda. I haven’t eatin all day… but I’ll just eat when I get home tonight.”

 

“Do you want some of mine?”

 

“No, I’m fine.”

 

“You sure? I won’t be able to finish this all so I’m just gonna end up throwing most of this out.”

 

“No.. I really shouldn’t, I have to get ready for our Ballet class.”

 

“Oh c’mon, it’s like in half an hour!”

 

“I know but..”

 

“Just sit down and eat this with me will ya?!” he said cutting me off.

 

“Um.. sure.” I said quietly and sat down and just stared at the table.

 

“Here”, and he thrust a fork into my hands. I sat there fidgeting with the fork suddenly finding it interesting.

 

“You know how to use one of those right?”

 

“Yeah”, I said shyly.

 

“Well then use it and dig in!”, he said as he dragged his chair and food closer to me. I started to pick little pieces of food and putting them in my mouth to please him. I looked up and caught him studying me. ”What? Do I have something on my chin?”, I asked wiping the back of my hand across my chin. “No, just wondering why we’ve never talked. We’ve been dancing together for quite a while. Actually, you don’t seem to talk to anybody, you just keep to yourself. How come?”

 

“I’m just not a very talkative person I guess..”

 

“Oh, well, when you start hanging out with me and that’ll change.”

 

Does this mean he actually wants to hang out with me! Possibly the hottest person in town wants to hang out with me!?

 

“So we really haven’t been introduced properly… My name’s Jonathan Keller.”

 

“I know, they say it taking attendance in dance classes.”

 

“Just humor me will ya?”

 

“Sigh… My names Brian Grubb.”

 

“Hehe, So you excited about the Christmas Ballet performance tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“This is your first time in it right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you know how to say a full sentence in stead of these one syllable answers?!” he asked sarcastically.

 

“Of course.” He chuckled, “Two syllables this time!”

 

I just bowed my head trying to hold my blush back.

 

“So why are you on point for ballet?”

 

“Nancy said I have the feet for it and I should try it.”

 

“Doesn’t it hurt?!”

 

“Sorta, but you get use to it and the pain goes away. Being on point makes me feel like I'm gliding across the room, and doin pirouettes is sooo much more fun because once you get a feel for your balance on it, you can spin for days! So many more than in ballet shoes!!”

 

“Wow, I think that’s the most I’ve heard you speak!” He said giggling. “So why did Nancy make you the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker portion of the show?” he asked looking genuinely interested. “Because I was short enough to be, and had the highest leaps on point than any other dancer in the studio in our age group, even out of all the girls too I guess.” “That’s awesome! At least you know you’re the best in ballet here!” I just blushed and put my head down. “I need to go change for ballet.” “Oh, right, me to!” We both stood up and he followed me into the bathroom. I went to a stall and put on my shorts and white t-shirt and came out of the stall to find a naked Jonathan bent over putting trying to put his feet in his underwear. I froze at the sight and my breath caught in my throat! He had the cutest bubble butt ever that was virtually hairless and as tan as rest of his body somehow.

 

I backed into the stall feeling my cheeks burning up, closed the stall door as quietly as I could and waited a few more moments before I came out. When I did, he was slipping his white shirt over his head. I sat on the counter with my cheeks still hot hoping my blush wasn’t that visible, slipped on my point shoes, and started lacing the ribbons around my right ankle. “Do you want me to do your other shoe for you?”

 

“What?”

 

“Your other point shoe, do you want me to tie the ribbons?”

 

“Um… sure..” He walked over and started wrapping the ribbons around my left ankle tightly so that it wouldn’t come loose but not too tight that it hurt. He did it perfectly.

 

I was to busy watching him tie the ribbons around my left foot in awe that he was so gentle about it that I abandoned my other foot in the process while still holding the ribbons in my hands.

 

“Here, let me get that”, he said.

 

“Wait.. You don..”, but he snatched the ribbons swatted my hands away before I could finish protesting and tied the ribbons on my right foot with just as much care. Sigh… He was sooo gorgeous and is treating my feet with suck care a caress, I wonder that’s what it would feel like if he was to hold me in a hug. Gentle with such a graceful caress but tight, almost protective..

 

“Did you hear me?” he asked, ripping me from my daydream.

 

“Huh? What?” Shoot! I was being so stupid staring at him that I didn’t realize he said something.

 

“And welcome back! Haha, I said stand up and try rising up on them to see if I tied them to loose or tight and if they give you enough support.”

 

“Oh, k.” I stood up and rose so that I was standing just over the front of the hardened box in the tip of my point shoes. They were tied perfectly! The ribbons held the shoe part up great and they weren’t tied tightly at all around my ankles but sturdy enough so that they wouldn’t come undone or start slipping down. I think he did it better than I did!

 

“Well?”

 

“They feel great! How’d you learn to tie point shoes that good?”

 

“My sister did point in high school and she had me do them while she put her hair in a bun.”

 

“Well I think you put them on better than I do!”

 

Oh my God!! Is that a blush on his delicate cheeks?! I made the Jonathan BLUSH!

 

“We should get to class before Nancy kills us”, he said.

 

I jumped off the counter and walked around him as he put on his leather ballet shoes and opened the door.

 

“Nice ass.” He whispered..

 

“Huh?” I asked while turning around to look at him

 

“Nothing, just talking to myself.” Then he grabbed my shoulders, spun me around, and gave me a little push with a “C’mon, lets go to class.”

 

As usual, I shrugged it off and walked to ballet class with Jonathan close behind me.

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