Giving Up - 1. Story

Giving Up

By AFriendlyFace

 

“I give up,” Greg said with a sated sigh as he finished cleaning himself off and tossed the tissue into the wastebasket near the bed.

“Give up?” Trevor asked with confusion as he settled in on the opposite side of the bed.

“Yeah, the sex is just too good. We’ll have to stay together,” Greg responded with a smirk as he curled up on his side of the bed facing Trevor.

“So we’re back together again?” Trevor asked casually for confirmation.

“Of course,” Greg answered with an exasperated sigh, “like I said, I give up. We’re stuck with each other.”

“Well yeah,” Trevor responded sarcastically, “but try not to sound too enthusiastic about it, Greg.”

“What’s to be enthusiastic about? It’s just the way things are. The sun rises, the earth turns, and we have great sex.”

“And you think great sex is a good enough reason to be in a relationship?” Trevor asked.

“Do you know of a better one?” Greg challenged.

“Well…what about love?” Trevor asked making eye contact with Greg.

Greg laughed hollowly and smirked in response.

“Forget it,” Trevor mumbled irritably as he rolled over and faced the other way.

Greg was tempted to just let him fall asleep angry. They had long since given up the pretense of keeping that oft hallowed relationship rule and at least his own slumber would be quicker and more peaceful; however, Trevor was more of a romantic, and Greg dutifully decided to indulge him on their anniversary.

“You remember what I said to you eleven years ago, Trevor?”

Trevor paused and considered the question. “Yeah, you said ‘watch the teeth!’ in an irritating, squeaky voice,” Trevor responded sarcastically, but truthfully.

Greg laughed again. “Before that.”

Trevor sighed and rolled back over onto his back. “You said, ‘I knew we were meant to be together the moment I laid eyes on you.’”

Greg leaned over and kissed Trevor’s temple. “I was right.”

“I didn’t think you would remember that. Actually, I didn’t even think you remembered it was our anniversary today,” Trevor said softly.

“You thought it was just a coincidence that I fucked you silly and proclaimed us life partners?” Greg asked.

“Actually I think the phrase you used was ‘stuck with each other’.”

“Same difference.”

“And you ‘fuck me silly’ on a regular basis, even when we are broken up.”

“And you like it.”

“Well of course I like it; it’s the only thing you can reliably do without pissing me off.”

“You know I believe in playing to my strengths,” Greg answered smirking again.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Aren’t you supposed to gasp and have your ass in the air when you say that?”

Trevor gave him an exasperated look and rolled his eyes. “So are we just getting back together because it’s our anniversary or because we really want to?”

“Do you want to?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Well I guess that settles it then,” Trevor stated with a sigh and a slight frown.

“Trev, we’re not schoolboys anymore. It can’t always be moonlight and romance.”

“But can’t it ever be?”

“No, I don’t think so. Not for us. We’ve done too much to each other. I don’t think it can be sweet or innocent again.”

“Me either,” Trevor conceded sadly.

“But I think we’d might as well stop the pointless crap. We’re ‘stuck with each other’ as I said, so let’s just forget about pretending we’re going to break up.”

“No more breaking up? We tried that once. You broke my nose.”

“You hit me first,” Greg pointed out.

 

They were nineteen and in college when it had happened. Their arguing was becoming more and more frequent and they were both scared that if they did not do something they might break up for good. So they had decided to just stop breaking up, to completely remove it as an option.

It had gone well at first. Without the fear that the other might break up with him if he said the wrong thing each had been able to be more honest with his feelings. For awhile they had been able to more effectively talk out their problems and fight for their relationship. Then things started to get out of hand. Their arguing was becoming more frequent again and this time, without the fear of losing their relationship their fights had devolved into verbal abuse. One day Trevor had enough.

“You goddamn, prick!” he shouted at Greg. “I fucking hate you!” With that he had slapped Greg, HARD across the face.

Greg was shocked. They had never before laid as much as a hostile finger on each other.

“You…you hit me,” Greg gasped wide-eyed.

“Yeah, so? What the fuck does it matter? It’s not like we’re going to break up. We can hit each other all we like. It doesn’t fucking matter.”

Anger flashed across Greg’s face, followed by a resolute calm. “You’re right,” he growled as he drew back his fist and slammed it with force into Trevor’s face.

Trevor toppled backward and hit the ground with a thud. He momentarily clutched his bleeding face and looked up at Greg in fear.

Greg instantly regretted what he had done. “Oh my God! Trevor I’m so-”

The words died on his lips Trevor kicked him hard in the crotch. Greg fell forward in pain and purposely tackled Trevor as he tried to stand back up.

For the next fifteen minutes the two boys rolled around on the ground pulling each other’s hair, hitting, kicking, and even biting each other. At last Greg managed to pin an exhausted and powerless Trevor to the ground.

“I hate you so much,” Greg spat between clenched teeth as an odd mixture of blood, sweat, and tears dripped from his face onto the helpless boy. Greg then slapped him hard one last time then crawled off of him.

Their coffee table had been overturned, and several pictures and a vase had been smashed in the skirmish. They each sought refuge in opposite corners of the room, warily keeping an eye on the other as their breathing returned to normal and their bleeding gradually stopped.

Slowly Trevor began to crawl toward Greg, careful to avoid the broken glass in his path. Greg responded in kind. They tentatively met in front of the couch and leaned their backs against what should have been the top of their coffee table. Slowly Greg held out his hand and offered Trevor a handshake. Trevor hesitantly took it then pulled Greg into a hug.

That’s when the tears started again. For the next ten minutes they held each other, crying and choking out ‘I love you’s and ‘I’m sorry’s’ between sobs. They had never been more afraid of each other, or themselves before.

“This can’t happen again,” Greg said, struggling to regain his composure.

“I know it can’t. I’m so sorry, Greg. I promise I’ll never do that again. EVER,” Trevor said with pained, desperate eyes.

Greg gently held Trevor’s chin in his hand and made a point to look him directly in the eyes. “Me too, Trevor. I swear it. So help me God I swear it.”

Trevor slowly nodded and their shared a painful kiss through mutually busted lips.

After that they had decided breaking up was back on the table. That it would be safer if they could part if things started to get heated like that again.

 

“So you want to go back to those times?” Trevor asked incredulously.

“We’re not nineteen anymore,” Greg pointed out.

“Oh no, of course not. We’re much more sensible at twenty-seven,” Trevor said sarcastically.

“Well I’m not saying we can’t ‘break up’, I’m just saying there’s no point in really breaking up,” Greg stated.

“What?”

“Like let’s not pretend we don’t expect to get back together, and let’s sure as hell not waste our time with one of us moving our things out,” Greg said.

“Damn, you’re so lazy dude. You want to avoid breaking up to get out of moving? Unnn Beee Lieee Vable,” Trevor gasped out in an exaggeratedly breathless, sexy pant.

Greg rolled his eyes and belched. “It’s not like either of us has bothered moving our things out for like a year and a half anyway. We might as well make it official.”

That was true. They had gradually given up doing the dramatic boxes and U-Haul thing, if for no other reason than that none of their friends or family would humor them enough anymore to help them move.

“Ok, fine. It’s official. We’ll share a home together until one of us dies first. Happy?” Trevor asked.

“Nah, how could I be? You’ll be in it,” Greg said with his familiar smirk and shrug.

“You’re such a prick,” Trevor stated.

“That’s because I’m the top. Just look at you, you’re an ass,” Greg answered.

“We both know you’d miss my ass if I did move it out for good,” Trevor said.

“Of course I would, I’d probably do something crazy like sleep on your balcony,” Greg said.

They both fell into a fit of giggles as the memory came flooding back.

 

“Go away!” Trevor demanded as he slammed his car door shut and pushed past Greg, doing his best to ignore him and get inside his sister’s home where he was staying.

“Trevor wait!” Greg insisted, “I can’t live without you.”

“Then by all means drop dead,” Trevor said coldly as he spared Greg a glare and unlocked the front door.

“Please,” Greg pleaded reaching for Trevor’s arm.

Trevor gave him a look, one of the ones they had developed between themselves after the ‘no break up’ fist fight and Greg passively let his hand drop down by his side.

“Go away,” Trevor repeated firmly as he walked inside and closed and locked the front door.

Greg would not go away though. He spent the evening sitting cross-legged on the side walk alternating calls between Trevor’s cell phone and his sister’s house phone until both were switched off. After that Greg remained sitting there resolutely staring at Trevor’s second story window.

 

Finally Julia, Trevor’s sister, had taken pity on him and brought him a blanket and a ham sandwich.

“Thanks Jules,” Greg said sincerely as he accepted the proffered comfort.

Julia sighed. “He won’t be talking to me for the rest of the night now.”

“He’ll forgive us both soon enough,” Greg said confidently.

“I’m not so sure. You really messed up this time, Greg. You forgot his birthday and when he called you on it, you said some really mean things. Things you knew he was sensitive about. If you weren’t like a second brother to me I’d…”

“You’d what?”

“I’d put broken glass in your sandwich,” Julia responded sweetly.

Greg had looked stricken and begun coughing.

“Relax, you are like a second brother to me so I didn’t,” Julia laughed.

“Thanks Jules,” Greg said meekly. “Will you please try to talk some sense into your first brother? I know he’s as miserable as I am.”

“He is, but…”

“But what?”

“But I think he’s making the right decision,” Julia had admitted with difficulty. “You’re bad for each other, Greg. You really are. You’d both be better off apart.”

“We can’t. I can’t. He can’t. We’re…We’re Trevor and Greg and…and he’s all I know. I don’t know how to be me without him,” Greg explained desperately with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Julia grabbed the edge of the blanket from around his shoulders and lightly wiped the tears away. “You may have to learn, sweetie,” she said as she kissed his forehead and walked back inside.

Greg did not learn though. In fact, he was a horrible student. When night fell he climbed into the old oak tree in the front yard and then onto Trevor’s balcony.

“Trevor, Trevor,” he called as he earnestly rapped on the glass door with his knuckles. For several minutes there was no sound or movement. At last a light came on and Trevor’s voice called through the closed glass door.

“Stop that knocking or I’ll call the police and report you as a trespasser,” Trevor snapped.

So Greg had stopped the knocking. Instead he just curled up in front of the glass door until morning. He repeated this for the next four nights. On the morning of the fifth day he awoke startled to find the doors open and Trevor lying on the floor facing him from inside, their faces only inches apart.

Trevor smiled at the surprised expression. “Ready to take me home?” he asked simply.

 

“I knew you’d come around eventually,” Greg said with a satisfied smile.

“Yeah, and what if I hadn’t?” Trevor asked.

“You had to,” Greg said simply, as though any other possibility were out of the question.

“I guess,” Trevor said. “So what is this anyway, a proposal?”

Greg’s eyes filled with terror. “What?”

“Well you just said we’d be together forever, and that there was no point in even pretending otherwise. Sounds like you’re saying you want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

“No, I’m just saying I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you. I never said I wanted to,” Greg clarified emotionlessly.

“Yes, you did. You’ve said that many times…but not recently,” Trevor said wistfully.

“Darling,” Greg said warmly as he took Trevor hand between his own.

“Yes?” Trevor asked hopefully.

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you. You make me very unhappy most of the time,” Greg said brutally as Trevor jerked his hand and scowled at him.

“You have no heart!”

“So?”

“So why can’t you just be nice to me, damnit? Why do you always have to be such a prick?” Trevor demanded.

“Because I don’t have to be nice to you. Remember?” Greg said coldly as he remembered the events of seven years ago.

 

“Oh FUCK! What the hell is going on here!?” Greg demanded in shock.

“Crap!” said the skinny blond with his dick in Trevor’s ass.

“Greg! I…I can explain,” Trevor said.

“You! Get the fuck out, now!” Greg barked at the blond, regretting the double entendre in his words.

“I…he…he didn’t tell me he was seeing anyone,” the boy said frantically as he got off the bed and began picking up his clothes.

“I said now!” Greg repeated through clenched teeth as he grabbed the still naked guy by the arm, yanked him away from the bed and pushed him out the door.

“But my pants-” he started only to be cut off mid-sentence as Greg once again opened the door and threw them in his face. He wasted no time dressing and hurrying out of the home he found himself unwittingly wrecking.

“Greg, I can explain,” Trevor said again pulling the sheets around his naked form.

“Don’t bother.” Greg said simply as he walked into their en suite bathroom and slammed the door. “Just get dressed and get out. You can come back for you things tomorrow while I’m at work.”

“But Greg-” Trevor started only to be cut off by the sound of the shower noisily turning on at full blast.

As Greg sat on the other side of the door still fully clothed and being splashed by the warm water he was slowly engulfed with an agony he did not know that he could feel. He slammed his fist into the side of the tub and was almost relieved by the physical manifestation of pain that immediately traveled through his hand. This he could deal with. The ache in his stomach, at the back of his eyes, and in his chest he could not. When he felt the tears rolling down his face, he slammed his fist into the tub again, and again, until the emotional pain once again receded beneath the physical.

It was nearly two hours before he left that bathroom. By the time he did, Trevor was long gone and all that remained was a note on the center of the now made bed.

I’m sorry.

As though that were anywhere near enough. Greg angrily ripped the note up, returned to the bathroom, and flushed it down the toilet. Then he took a double dose of sleeping pills and lay on top of the comforter where only hours before he had witnessed his lover as someone else’s lover.

When Trevor returned the next day to get more of his things he was surprised to find Greg still at home and asleep on, but not in, the bed.

“Greg,” Trevor said gently shaking him.

Greg slowly regained consciousness and as he opened his eyes and saw Trevor touching his shoulder he angrily snapped, “Get your filthy, adulterous hands off of me, you son of a bitch.”

“Greg I-”

“Just stay the fuck away from me. Forever!” Greg shouted as he got up and pushed past Trevor, desperate to get out of the room and away from him.

After that Trevor and Greg both slipped into a deep depression and neither contacted or spoke to the other for three months – the longest they had ever stayed apart since they met.

One rainy Monday they ran into each other at a supermarket. As soon as Greg saw Trevor he quickly turned his cart into the nearest aisle, which unfortunately turned out to be feminine hygiene.

“Greg!” Trevor said excitedly as he ran over.

“What do you want?” Greg asked coldly, sending Trevor a look that clearly stated ‘if you touch me I’ll break our pact from years before’.

“I just wanted to say hello,” Trevor explained simply looking Greg up and down.

“Yeah, well I’m just doing my shopping so if you’ll excuse me.”

“Oh that’s right, I forgot how much you needed to focus when you buy maxi pads and Monostat,” Trevor said.

“Just leave me alone, please,” Greg said finally turning to look at Trevor.

Trevor was taken aback by what he saw on Greg’s face. It was an anguished blend of pain, hostility, frustration, and – dare he speculate – hope.

“You never gave me a chance to explain. Please,” Trevor pleaded.

“What’s to explain? I’ve seen sex before. I’ve even had sex before. Of course I’ve only had sex with you, but I’m still familiar with the concept for other people…even for you other people. Now go away.”

“Greg pleeease!” Trevor pleaded. “Just let me explain why I did it.”

“Fine. Why did you do it, Trevor?” Greg asked glaring at him.

“I…I wanted to see if you could forgive me,” Trevor said simply.

Greg let this sink in for a moment then turned and walked away, leaving his cart of groceries behind.

“Greg? Greg! Where are you doing?” Trevor asked sprinting up behind him.

“I’m giving you your answer, Trevor,” Greg hissed.

“But-”

Greg reeled around and looked angrily at Trevor.

“What? Not the answer you were expecting? Did you think I’d just sit around while you slept with anyone you liked? Did you want me to just accept it? Get used to the idea that my boyfriend was philanderer? Huh? Is that what you expected? Is that what you wanted? Well fuck you, Trevor! I’m not doing it.”

“I wanted to see how much you loved me,” Trevor screamed as Greg started to walk away again. By now everyone in the supermarket was watching the drama unfold.

“Well, now you know, Trevor. ‘Not enough’”

“I don’t believe you! I know you love me! I know you love me as much as I love you, and damnit, Greg, I would have forgiven you.”

“You didn’t have to,” Greg screamed back. “I wouldn’t have done it,” he added quietly.

“I only did it once. That was the first and last time. I knew you’d catch us. I knew you’d be home. Look I know it was twisted and I’m sorry, but I only did it once.”

“Only did it once? Oh gee, how kind of you there, Trev. Only cut out my beating heart and dropped it in a blender once! Thanks babe! You’re the man.”

“I’ll do anything to get you back,” Trevor pleaded as he clinched his eyes shut and dared the tears to fall.

“What makes you think I’d ever take you back? What makes you think I could ever want that again?” Greg asked coldly.

“Because I know how much it hurts you for us to be apart. Because I know how much it hurts me, and I know that there’s only one thing in the world that will ever make that hurt go away.”

Trevor walked slowly toward Greg, locking eyes with him and once again defying his tears to come.

“What’s that?” Greg asked softly, mesmerized by the soulful eyes he hadn’t looked into for the past three months.

“This,” Trevor said as he gently kissed his lips and ran a hand through his hair.

The moment was shattered by the sound of applause and cheers. Suddenly the two were very aware of the fact that they were in public.

“Let’s get out of here,” Greg said.

“I’ll follow you anywhere,” Trevor promised.

They walked a few blocks away and into the first coffee house they came to.

“So what are we going to do?” Greg asked once they were seated in a secluded booth in the back.

“We’re going to fix everything,” Trevor answered simply.

“How? How can we do that? How can I trust you again, how can I even like you again?”

“The trust will come back in time, Greg, just like it always does. I swear to you I’ll never cheat again, never. I swear it as solemnly as a mother would swear on the life of her child,” Trevor answered.

“Mothers don’t do that, Trev,”

“Well then I swear on something else, but I swear nevertheless. It’s impossible now, Greg; it’s completely out of the realm of possibility that I could ever cheat again.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Trevor answered.

“And what about the second part? Huh? How I am supposed to like you again?”

“You can’t help but love me, anymore than I could possibly help but to love you.”

“That’s not the same thing. Just because I love you doesn’t mean I like you.”

“Do you have to like me, Greg?” Trevor asked.

“How am I supposed to be with you if I don’t, Trev? How I am supposed to be nice to you if I can’t even stand you?”

“You don’t have to be nice to me, Greg. Just take me back and I won’t make you be nice to me.”

“What?”

“Just take me back,” Trevor pleaded. “You don’t have to like me, you don’t have to be nice to me, but just please, please take me back. Just love me again. Please”

“I never stopped loving you, Trev. You’re right; I couldn’t have.”

“Then I’m yours again,” Trevor exclaimed happily with the first genuine smile he’d smiled in over three months.

“Fine. You’re mine again. But I don’t have to be nice to you,” Greg said.

 

“Ok, fine. So you don’t have to be nice to me. So you don’t have to say nice things to me, or remember my birthday, or be romantic, or even notice if I’m alive. I guess all you have to do is just lay there on your side of the bed and piss me off. Is that how it works out?” Trevor asked, concluding his tirade.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Greg responded.

“Aaaahhhh!” Trevor screamed in frustration.

“Are you done,” Greg asked calmly.

“No. AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA,” Trevor screamed again, only this time it sounded remarkably like laughter was mixed in.

“Better?” Greg asked.

“Yeah”

“Good, now maybe we can get some sleep,” Greg said yawning as he settled further into the blankets and pillows on his side.

“Greg?” came Trevor’s soft voice a few minutes later.

“I should have known better,” Greg said fatalistically. “I should have known you wouldn’t just let me go to sleep.”

“Of course you should have,” Trevor said simply.

“What is it, Trev?” Greg asked.

“Well it’s just that, you’re right. I mean if there’s anything these last eleven years have shown, it’s that we just can’t get along without each other. We don’t know how; we’re hopeless.”

“Yeah.” This was old news to Greg and he assumed it was to Trevor as well.

“So what does that make us? I mean what are we to each other?”

“What a stupid question,” Greg stated.

“No it’s not! Think about it. Are we soul mates?”

“Soul mates?” Greg repeated with detest. “I don’t believe in soul mates, Trev.”

“But you just believe that we’re destined to be together, hopelessly miserable if we aren’t-”

“And if we are,” Greg interjected.

Trevor ignored him and continued, “And all around incomplete without each other. I mean if I understand you right, that’s what you believe.”

“Yeah, that’s what I believe.”

“So what’s a soul mate if it’s not that?” Trevor asked.

“I don’t know, I told you, I don’t believe in them, Trev.”

“But other people do. I do”

“Fine, then are we soul mates, Trev?”

“Of course we are!” Trevor answered with certainty.

“Good, now that that’s settled let’s go to sleep,” Greg said.

“But Greg?”

“Yes?” he asked curtly.

“I don’t think we’re just soul mates.”

“Oh you don’t? Then what else are we, Trev?” Greg asked deciding to humor him.

“We’re like each other’s nemesis. Like we’re also destined to bring each other a lot of pain and suffering.”

“Yeah, that’s more what I thought soul mates did all along anyway, Trev.”

“Doesn’t it make you sad, Greg?”

Greg was indeed getting sad. He was sad that Trevor wouldn’t leave him alone. However, if he were honest with himself he would have to admit that he found Trevor’s late-night, chatty innocence amusing, even endearing. He still wanted it to stop, but he knew it was Trevor’s way of trying to feel close to him, and he appreciated and understood that just enough to continue humoring him awhile longer.

“Why should it make me sad, Trev?” Greg asked dutifully with another yawn.

“Because we’re trapped. We’re unhappy together, but even more unhappy apart. How are we supposed to win? What have we really got?”

“Are you unhappy, Trevor?” Greg asked sincerely.

“Yes,” Trevor admitted quietly.

For a second Greg didn’t know how to respond. He had been counting on Trevor saying no to that question.

“What are you unhappy about?” Greg asked.

“This. Us. Our lives. Our past. Our future. Everything,” Trevor stated desperately.

“What do you want to do?” Greg asked softly, rubbing Trevor’s hand through the sheet.

“I want to break up, Greg. I want to break up for good. I want to get away from you, and I want to get over you, and I want us both to get on with our lives,” Trevor answered with the same brutal honesty that Greg had used on him all night.

“I…I don’t…” Greg trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“Don’t think it’s possible? Don’t think it’s worth trying? Don’t want to bother trying? Don’t want to lay there and listen to me yapping?”

“All of the above,” Greg said coolly.

“Are you happy, Greg?” Trevor asked.

“Of course not,” Greg stated, “but I don’t expect to be.”

“You’ve given up?” Trevor asked.

“I’ve given up,” Greg confirmed.

“How is it? Without any hope? Knowing you’re stuck in a miserable relationship until you die because you’re too codependent and pathetic to do anything about it? How does it feel?” Trevor asked.

“Surprisingly good, Trev. It’s the stability, you know? I mean you’re really all I’ve ever known, all I ever counted on. And despite everything that’s happened between us, despite everything you’ve done to hurt me, everything I’ve done to hurt you, despite all the pain and tears, despite all that…when it comes down to it I do trust you Trev. And you know what?”

“What?”

“You’re the only person I could ever imagine trusting like this. More surprisingly you’re the only person I want to imagine trusting like this. You’re real. This is real. It’s not perfect; it’s not charming and fun. It certainly isn’t easy, and it sure as hell isn’t a fairytale, but it’s real. This is eleven years of a relationship – okay an on-again, off-again, I hate you, love me, let’s fuck each other over relationship – but it’s real. I can trust it. I can trust you. I’m not hiding anything, Trev. I’m not trying to impress you. I’m not trying to make you love me. I’m just here. And you’re here. And we’re trapped, and it sucks, and sometimes I think about chewing my leg off and escaping…but I know sure as hell that I’d just walk back and put a different leg in.”

“You know, Greg?”

“Yeah?”

“You sure do get chatty late at night,” Trevor giggled.

“Fuck you!”

“If you want,” Trevor said sincerely.

Greg sighed and rolled over again, knowing that this time Trevor would not bother him again until morning. Trevor would leave him in peace this time, but his thoughts would not.

“Trevor?”

“Yeah?” he answered groggily.

“Will you give up too?” Greg asked softly.

“You mean promise not to leave the trap? Promise to stay here and gnaw my limbs off one by one with you till we’re both little nubs?”

“Yeah”

“Ask nicely,” Trevor answered.

“What?”

“Ask me nicely,” Trevor repeated.

“We’ve already agreed that I don’t have to be nice to you, Trevor,” Greg responded.

“That’s for you to stay with me. We don’t have an agreement for me to stay with you,” Trevor pointed out victoriously as though it were the first time he had really considered it from that angle.

“But we both know I really don’t have to be nice to you. We both know you can’t leave anyway.”

“Then I don’t need to say it,” Trevor pointed out.

“…I want you too, okay,” Greg admitted.

“Because you’re scared I’ll leave for real someday?”

“I’m just scared you’ll make me do something really stupid and unpleasant to win you back.”

“I probably will,” Trevor said.

“Then I’d rather you just say it and spare me the trouble,” Greg said selfishly.

“Of course you would,” Trevor responded. “Good night Greg,”

Greg was silent for a few moments then he reached under the covers and found Trevor’s hand.

“Trevor?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you please do me the shame and dishonor of making me the most miserable man on earth for the rest of my life?”

Trevor sighed, “Oh Greg, I wouldn’t have it any other way. And yes, I promise,” he said as he pulled Greg’s arm around his shoulders and snuggled into his chest.

Greg held him close and breathed deeply, matching Trevor’s own rhythm. When at last he was certain that Trevor had fallen asleep, he leaned his head forward enough to put his face in Trevor’s soft hair and then as tears gently rolled down his cheeks he whispered,

“Oh Trevor, I really don’t like you anymore…but my God I love you!”

 

© 2008 AFriendlyFace

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