Lost Memory - 1. Chapter 1

He used to have a lover. Cruel…was it?

It was a long time ago. The Boy thought the Man loved him. The Boy thought the Man would wait for him. The Boy thought he could trust the Man. The Boy and the Man had been together for two years and they had still not done it yet. They would kiss and touch but that was all that was between them. Whenever they would get close to getting to do it, the Boy always made something up. The Boy wasn’t ready.

The Boy thought that the Man would wait for him no matter what.

The Boy walked one day into a coffee shop with friends and that’s when he saw him. The Man was sitting by the window on the far end of the shop. Across from him, there was a guy sitting there, leaning across the table. They kissed, briefly but the Boy saw it.

The world suddenly meant nothing for the Boy. The Boy did not understand and he did not want to understand. The Boy remembered walking away from the shop like a ghost. He walked and talked to no one. He made no contact with no one. He went home and head for his room right on to his bed and slept.

The memories that the Boy and the Man had together came into his dream.

The first day they met while the Boy walked down the path of the park. It was night and he was just wandering around. There was nothing to do and he was bored. He had just seated down when the Man appeared out of nowhere. He sat right beside the Boy and smoked. He said nothing, his head tilted as he looked up at the sky. The Boy sat quietly, not knowing what the Man would do. It was strange but they sat there for an hour without talking. When the Boy decided to go home, the Man stopped the Boy. The asked the Boy for his name and the Boy stared at the Man while the Man stared back. The Boy didn’t trust Man and so he just turned away from him. The Boy hadn’t expected what Man did next. The Man had grabbed the Boy and they were then face to face, so close that they could kiss, but they didn’t. The Man asked the Boy again and the Boy answered him shakily. The Boy was scared but he knew that he had to play it smart if he wanted to get away. When the Boy told the Man his name, the Man let the Boy go and smiled. The Man told the Boy his name and then he said he hoped he’ll see the Boy again. Then, just like that, the Man wave goodbye and left. The Boy stood there stun. He felt stupid but he was ok.

He went home that night and thought about the Man. He didn’t know why but the more he brought the Man up into his mind, the more his image came and he knew then that the Man was incredibly handsome.

The next night the Man was there. The Boy didn’t know if the Man was going to appear bur the Boy even went later than usual but the Man was there. When the Man saw the Boy, he waved and called the Boy’s name.

The Boy sat down next to the Man who kept his eyes on the black sky. The Boy thought it was going to be same but he was wrong. The Man was the first one to speak out first. He told the Boy how he would come out here because it was so peaceful and there was no one to bother him. He told the Boy how he grew up in this town and how he used to come to this park to play with his friends. He told the Boy a lot of things and the Boy sat there and paid attention to every word he said. The Boy remembered everything.

The Boy didn’t know why the Man had said what he did when he didn’t even know the Boy but somehow it made the Boy happy that the Man told him.

Days passed and they would meet every night and they would talk and laugh, and even eat a few times.

The Boy fell in love and the Man made the first move. The Man kissed the Boy for the first time in the month from the day they had been seeing each other. It made the Boy happy and so they went out. Then, not only were they seeing each other at night, but even in the day time. The Boy was so happy, the Man made him so happy.

Happiness always ends and the Boy found out the hard way. He wasn’t stupid, he was in loved.

That was how it all started and it all ended with what he had seen.

He woke up the next day as if nothing had happened. No, it was just like that, nothing had happened because the Boy didn’t remember anything. He knew nothing of the Man he once loved. The Boy memory had been blocked from the Man he had trusted so much and the day went on just like that.

The Boy was walking out of his house to head for school and one his friends appears. They had been friends for a very long time but he had never told her about his lover. Somehow the Girl knew. She told him what she saw that day. She told him that she had always known about the Man he loved but the Boy knew nothing. He did not remember anything. The Girl knew then that it had happened again. She knew then that the Boy had erased the Man from his mind and heart.

Time came and went and school was out. The Boy and the Girl walked together home. They had not gone three blocks away from school when a black car stopped beside them. A man climbed out, it was the Man.

The Man stood by his car and called the Boy. The Boy stopped and looked at the Man confusedly. The Boy asked him if he could help him and the Man looked at the Boy confusedly now. The Man did not know what was happening.

The Boy, not remembering, turns away from the Man and starts to walk again. When the Man was about to go after the Boy, the Girl stopped him.

She told the Man to leave the Boy alone. The Man asked her why. She answered him with no hesitations. She told him that the Boy had forgotten him now, that the Boy had no memory of him anymore. The Man asked how could that be and the Girl only looked at him cruelly at first. She was mad and she could help but tell the Man off. She told him of the day she saw him on the coffee shop and how the Boy had seen him too. She told him how the Boy suddenly disappeared and to suddenly wake up the next day not knowing who the Man was. She told the Man the condition the Boy was in and what his mind and heart would do when it was in sorrow, in pain, and in great sadness.

The Man couldn’t believe her. He didn’t want to believe her because he loved the Boy. He wanted to spend his life with the Boy. He wanted to give him everything and to make him happy. He couldn’t believe it and so he didn’t give up.

He chased after the Boy who had walked to the end of the street. The Girl was right behind him and they both got to the Boy at the same time.

The Man intended on telling the Boy who he was and what they were to each other. When he did, the Boy only stared at the Man stun and without words. The Man went on and on from the day they met to the day they started to go out to the day just two days ago.

But the Boy couldn’t believe the Man. He couldn’t because he didn’t have any memories of what the Man was telling him. The Man would apologize to the Boy because Boy had seen something that Man was going to leave. Something that had been hunting him so much he couldn’t take it anymore. He had been asked one last request before his hunter would leave him. The kiss had been the last request and he gave it. It was a kiss that had meant nothing to him. It was a kiss he had felt disgusted with because he never wanted to kiss anyone else but the Boy. That was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth but even so, the memory were gone.

The Boy knew nothing of the Man. He told the Man so, told the Man to leave him alone. He said many cruel things because the Man wouldn’t give up. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t and he didn’t…

Nothing changed. The man still visits the Boy whenever he could. He would only see him from afar. He would look at the Boy and remember the times they had spent together. He blamed himself for what had happened. He had lost the one most precious person he had even met and he would never forgive himself. There was no one else but the Boy for him and that was how it stayed.

The Boy lived on, happily in his new memory. He lived on with a missing part of his life. A life he would have lived happily if only he had waited. If only he had trusted more…but now it is all long gone and there is no going back. The Man waited but it was the Boy who did not.

The End