What They Don't Know - 1. Starting Out.

“What the fuck was that?” Ethan screamed when he heard the earsplitting blast and felt everything around us tremble. “It sounded like they just blew up your damn house.”

“That might be exactly what happened,” I agreed.

                                    *            *            *            *            *

Before I get to that, I think I should go back and explain how Ethan and I first met and what got us to this point in the first place. It all started a few months earlier, when I went to start my new job.

“May I help you?” a guy in his late twenties asked me, as I went to open the door to the building.

Although I’d been following a few others toward the main entrance to the building, he had been walking behind me from the parking lot. He must have recognized that I wasn’t someone he’d seen around before, because he was obviously challenging why I was there.

“Yes, I’m starting work here today,” I responded. “I’m supposed to meet up with the H.R. manager and go over a few things before I get started.”

“Welcome to life as a state employee and I hope you didn’t think I was being rude,” the guy explained. “It’s just that when I saw you get out of your car, you didn’t look familiar and I noticed you weren’t wearing an employee I.D. badge either. In recent years it has been mandatory to have it visible at all times, for security reasons, and we’ve all been told to keep an eye out for anything or anyone that appears suspicious. Don’t get me wrong, because I don’t think you look suspicious, but not having an I.D. badge visible is. After all, this is a state building and it could easily become a target for terrorists or anti-government activists.”

“I totally understand and didn’t think you were being rude at all,” I assured him, while studying his features.

“So if you’re starting work today, would you happen to be the new finance guy they’ve hired to work in my department?”

“I guess that would describe what I’m going to be doing here,” I answered.

“Fantastic. I’m Ethan Hawkes,” he stated, while extending his hand in greeting.

I’m Bryan Walters and I’m pleased to meet you,” I replied, while grasping his hand and shaking it.

I don’t know if it just happened to me or if he felt it too, but a strange tingling sensation shot through my body when the skin on our palms came together. I actually think he might have sensed something as well, because at the precise moment when I gripped his hand a strange expression suddenly came over his face. Not only that, but he also ended up holding on to my hand a lot longer than was necessary, as he stared into my eyes and smiled coyly.

“Nice to meet you, Bryan,” he replied, “and I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. “I’d heard someone would be starting soon, so why don’t you follow me and I’ll show you the way to the H.R. department.”

“That would be great, Ethan,” I stated. “I think I was pretty lucky to get this job, considering the current job market.”

Ethan led me to where I needed to go, but we quickly discovered the H.R. manager was temporarily tied up. As I took a seat on one of the chairs in the reception area and waited to be called, he remained standing beside me.

“Where are you from, Bryan?” he asked, as soon as I was settled.

“Uh… oh, I grew up in Florida,” I replied.

I know my response probably made me sound like a complete idiot, but I assumed he was going to take off once we got there, so I was mildly surprised, and slightly tongue-tied, when he’d asked this question. Not only that, but I also got distracted when I gazed up into his face. I’m not sure how to explain it, but I suddenly felt this really strong attraction to him, as I stared into his dreamy eyes.

“Where in Florida?” he pressed, while breaking me from my momentary reverie.

“Uh, the Tampa area,” I added, before getting lost in those luscious azure-colored eyes again.

“Interesting. You’ve come a long way,” he observed. “So what drew you to Santa Fe? I’m sure you could have found a similar job closer to home, so what made you choose to come here?”

“I just kind of got stuck growing up in Florida and wasn’t totally happy living there,” I answered, while trying to shift my attention away from gawking at him, so I could concentrate on the conversation. “When I came for the interview, I took an instant liking to this area and thought it had a lot to offer. It’s not nearly as humid as I’m used to and will be a lot better for my allergies. Besides, I thought your boss made me a decent offer.”

“Ah, I can relate to that,” he continued. “So where did you work before this?”

“This is my first job,” I replied, sheepishly, as Ethan gave me a questioning stare. “I just graduated from college and the placement office hooked me up with a job listing and application for this position. I wasn’t sure about applying at first, but I filled it out anyway and sent it in with a copy of my resume. I was mildly surprised when I got an interview, but I figured it would be a good experience to go through the process, so I came. Even though I thought I’d done fairly well on the interview, I never expected to be offered the job. Needless to say, I was thrilled when I was notified that I was one of the three finalists for the position and was asked to return for a second interview.

“After meeting with the committee the second time, I began to get worried when I didn’t hear back from them over the next couple of weeks, so I gradually began to convince myself that I wasn’t going to get the job,” I continued. “Just when I thought all hope was lost, I received a call and they made me an offer. Even though they had time to contact someone else before they called me, I’m just going to assume that I was their first choice for the position. I don’t want to think that I was only offered the job after one of the others turned it down.”

“Yes, I’m sure you were their first choice, so don’t go down that road and start doubting yourself,” he advised, while giving me a wink. “So where did you go to college?”

“I just got my B.B.A. from the Terry College of Business at the University of Georgia,” I informed him.

“Ah, first Florida and then Georgia. A real southern boy,” he teased, “but I don’t detect the rebel drawl.”

“That’s probably because my parents and grandparents were originally from the north, so I didn’t hear any accents at home,” I confessed. “In fact, most of the people who lived in our neighborhood had moved to the area from northern states too, so I never really heard any southern accents except at school or when I went out somewhere with the family. Even then I think I heard more Hispanic accents than southern ones, and none of the southern accents I heard were all that severe or noticeable.”

“I guess that would explain it then,” he stated, while flashing me a dazzling grin. “I take it you must have also wanted to stay in a warmer climate.”

“That did play a part in my decision,” I agreed, “but it basically boiled down to this being the best job offer I received. Actually, it was the first one I got, so I took it. Jobs are too hard to come by right now, so I wasn’t about to say no when they made me the offer.”

Ethan smiled after my comment and slapped me on the shoulder, but he let his hand linger there and didn’t remove it right away. I thought it was a bit strange for him to do this, but I also found it kind of encouraging too.

‘Might there be another possibility presenting itself here?’ I wondered to myself, as I considered the extended contact he was making with me.

“Mr. Walters, you may go in to see the H.R. manager now,” the H.R. assistant announced, interrupting my thoughts.

“Hey, I’ve got to go,” I told Ethan, “but maybe I’ll see you later.”

“Look, why don’t you join me for lunch today,” he offered. “While we’re eating, I’ll give you a quick rundown about how to survive here and tell you about some places of interest you’ll want to visit.”

It sounded like an interesting offer, but I had to control myself so I didn’t seem too eager when I accepted. My heart was beating rapidly, but I hoped not loudly enough for him to hear, and my mouth suddenly went dry. Even though it was difficult to get my tongue to work, since I had suddenly developed a bad case of cottonmouth, I attempted to give him an affirmative and coherent reply. After all, he was kind of cute and I’m gay, although no one here knows that yet.

“Yes, that sounds fine and I’d like to hear your suggestions,” I agreed, and then turned to follow the assistant into her boss’s office.

Let me give you a brief description of Ethan. He’s about six-feet tall, has a somewhat athletic build, but not overly muscular, jet black hair and the most dazzling blue eyes I’ve ever stared into – they were almost hypnotic. He also has the most incredible eyelashes I’ve ever seen on a guy before, a delightful and disarming smile, gleaming white teeth and poutty lips that I just wanted to get to know better. I wouldn’t describe him as being gorgeous, at least not in the movie star – teen idol tradition, but I did think he was cute. I’m not sure if it was his eyes and eyelashes that got to me or if it’s just that I seem to have this thing for geeky, intelligent guys. Whatever the reason, I guess you can tell I was immediately smitten.

I also thought he had acted as if he might be interested in me as well, although I don’t claim to be any great catch either. I consider myself pretty ordinary in appearance, but I hope he liked what he saw and it’s at least part of the reason why he was being so nice to me.

As I mentally compared our features, I thought we shared a few similar characteristics, but there were also some obvious differences that I thought seemed to compliment each other. We’re about the same height, although I have a swimmer’s build, which is slightly more slender than Ethan’s. I also thought my sandy blond hair and light-brown eyes seemed to contrast nicely with his coloring, but then we both have what most people would describe as golden tans. I just hope he found my features as inviting as I found his, even though I’m not exactly what you’d call the pick of the litter.

The rest of my morning was filled with the typical first day activities, such as listening to the formal company welcome and completing a whole lot of paperwork. As interesting as that sounds, I found my mind constantly focused on whether it was time to go to lunch yet. It wasn’t because I was particularly hungry, although I realized I could also use some nourishment, but it’s just that I really wanted to spend more time talking to and staring at Ethan. My God, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him and found it extremely difficult to block out the thoughts I was having about how I wanted us to spend more time together.

It seemed as if the morning dragged on interminably long, as I filled out forms, read and signed policy statements, followed an employee around as I was given a tour of the facility and then watched a video apprising me about ‘the role and characteristics of a valued employee.’ After I’d completed doing those things, I was introduced to my department manager and went with her as she described the job assignment and her performance expectations to me.

“I’ll assign one of your co-workers to work with you for a while, because you might not be familiar with the software program we use or aware of some of the adaptations we’ve made to comply with the governmental regulations to which we adhere,” she advised me. “I would normally take part in this briefing myself, but I’m supposed to attend a luncheon meeting, so I’ll be tied up for a while. If you’ll excuse me for a few seconds, I’ll call and ask your trainer to join us.”

She then picked up the phone, dialed an extension and spoke.

“Would you please come to my office? I have another task for you to help me with?” she announced.

A few seconds later, I saw Ethan approach the office and knock on the door.

“Bryan, this is Ethan Hawkes and I’m going to have him show you the ropes for now,” my new manager announced. “Ethan, this is Brian Walters and he is joining our department.”

“Yes, we met earlier,” Ethan replied. “I happened to be behind him when he entered the building, so we talked briefly, as I showed him the way to H.R.”

“Splendid! Then I guess you won’t need me to add anything else,” she stated. “If you two will excuse me, I have to run.”

We each said goodbye to her, as she grabbed a few things and prepared to leave. While she was gathering up the items she planned to take with her, Ethan led me over to a cubicle and pointed at the area within.

“This will be where you’ll eventually be working, but for now you’ll be crammed into my cubicle with me, while I brief you on the system we use,” he explained. “Just grab your chair and wheel it over to my work space.”

I liked the sound of this. Ethan and I are basically going to be sitting on top of each other in his fairly small cubicle, while he explains to me how things are done here. I definitely think I can live with that.

Ethan just barely finished showing me the computer accounting program that they used and gave me a few simple details about what he did, when he announced it was time to eat.

“Come on, Bryan. I know a great little place for lunch and this one’s on me,” he announced, with a grin.

“Sounds great, but I’ll pay tomorrow then,” I replied, as I followed him out to his car.

I made my offer to ensure that we’d be spending another lunch hour together. I think Ethan caught on to this fact, because he eyed me suspiciously for a few seconds, before he nodded his head in agreement.

The restaurant he took me to was far enough away from the office so we couldn’t walk, but I could see why he wanted to come here. We were at the Santa Fe Baking Company and I found the atmosphere to be very relaxed, plus the food was also quite good. As we ate, we talked some more.

“Bryan, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything like that, but you appear to be slightly older than a normal college graduate taking his first job,” he confessed.

“You’re right, because I am,” I confirmed. “I did a stint in the Navy first, so I could save up to pay for my education. My family wasn’t exactly what you’d call well off.”

“That explains it then,” he agreed. “I thought you might be closer to my age. I’m twenty-seven.”

“And I’m twenty-eight,” I admitted.

“So how long were you in the Navy?” he wanted to know.

“I spent six years in uniform,” I answered.

“Did you see any combat?” he wondered.

“Not really,” I replied. “I spent a great deal of time onboard ships, and some of it was in the Persian Gulf, but I was never really involved in any combat duty. The closest I ever came to that was when we protected another vessel from Somali pirates.”

“That sounds interesting,” he offered.

“Not really,” I stated. “Once they saw how badly they were outgunned, they turned tail and sped off to safety.”

“Well, I’m glad you were never in danger then,” he stated. “So what was it like growing up in Florida?”

Although I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to tell him, I felt I should answer his question.

“I didn’t always live there. I just ended up going to Florida to live with my grandparents when I was in fifth grade, after my parents were killed in an accident caused by a drunk driver,” I explained. “I loved my grandparents dearly, but they were a little old to be raising a ten-year old, so it was kind of awkward for me when I moved in with them.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents,” Ethan stated, expressing his sympathy. “So how old were your grandparents when you went to live with them, if I’m not being too nosy?”

“No, you’re fine,” I responded. “My grandparents were in their late thirties when they had my mother and she was in her mid-thirties when she had me, so my grandparents were in their seventies when I went to live with them. In fact, the neighborhood I grew up in consisted of mostly retired people.”

“Damn. Didn’t you have any other relatives who could have taken you in or couldn’t they come up with a better option for you?” he asked next.

“No, my dad’s father died when he was young and his mother was in a nursing home by then,” I explained. “Even though she was quite a bit younger than my other grandparents, she had really bad medical problems and couldn’t live on her own. My mom did have a brother, but he had been in the army and was killed in the first Gulf war, and my father was an only child. That meant my mom’s parents were the only ones available. If they hadn’t taken me in, then I would have had to go into foster care.”

“I’m really glad to hear that you didn’t have to go into the foster care system,” he commiserated, “but I can see why it wasn’t exactly easy for you growing up. I can also understand why you weren’t very fond of your time in Florida, if most of the people living around you were retirees.”

“It certainly wasn’t what you’d call a typical childhood and it’s probably the reason why I didn’t have any regrets about leaving there,” I confessed.

“Do your grandparents still live there?” he asked.

“No, my grandfather died while I was in the Navy and my grandmother passed a few years later, while I was in college,” I answered. “My other grandmother is gone too. She died a short time before I enlisted.”

“So you’re totally alone now?” he followed.

“Yep, and it’s been that way for a couple of years now,” I confirmed.

“Damn, but it’s kind of the same for me too,” Ethan confessed. “My parents moved to Massachusetts when my father was offered a better job there and I haven’t seen much of them since they left. Seeing I don’t have any family around here either, then what would you think about kind of being each other’s family from now on?”

“I think it’s a wonderful idea and I’d really like that,” I agreed. “I’m certainly glad you suggested that, because it certainly isn’t any fun being all alone in the world.”

I actually thought it was sweet of him to offer and I definitely appreciated his concern. However, after taking a few seconds to think about it, I decided that I needed to explain something to him first, in case he wanted to change his mind.

“Ethan I really appreciate what you’re trying to do,” I began, “but I think you should know something about me first. I’m gay, just in case you want to retract your generous offer.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, but then a grin slowly began to appear across his face.

“Me too,” he countered. “I’ve been hoping you were as well, because I felt a real connection with you when we first met.”

“You did?” I wondered.

“Yes, it was a feeling I got shortly after you introduced yourself,” he confirmed.

“When we shook hands?” I pressed.

His mouth dropped open slightly and he stared at me for a moment.

“In fact, it was then,” he confessed.

“Me too,” I agreed. “I got this tingly feeling when our hands touched.”

“Really? I felt that too,” he confirmed. “When it happened, I wondered if it was just a physical phenomena, like static electricity or something, or if we’d made a deeper connection of some sort.”

“From what I know now, I’d say it was the latter,” I suggested. “At least, that’s what I’m hoping it meant.”

I think I might have blushed after admitting this, but I began to relax when I saw Ethan’s smile broaden.

“Yeah, me too,” he agreed.

Even though we’d been eating while we’d been chatting, we suddenly realized our lunch hour was nearly over. The time seemed to have flown by, so now we had to finish up quickly and get back to work. We were probably five minutes late when we reached Ethan’s cubicle again, but it appeared that our tardiness hadn’t been noticed. Our boss wasn’t back from her luncheon meeting yet and no one else seemed to care whether we had returned on time or not.

We spent the rest of afternoon working side-by-side, as Ethan continued to show me how things were done here. He also told me that I’d probably be working with him all week, but in a couple of days I’d be given an assignment to complete on my own. Ethan would observe while I was working on it and would be there to help if I ran into any difficulties, but it would be my task to finish, not his.

Ethan also assured me that once I became familiar with their system and after I completed that first task satisfactorily, then I’d be given even more assignments to complete, but I’d be working on those in my own cubicle. Even though I would be completing those assignments by myself, Ethan reminded me that he’d still be nearby and willing to answer any questions or assist me, if I had any problems. Even though I realized his continued assistance wouldn’t last forever, I wasn’t about to refuse his offer or whine when I was left to fend for myself. Instead, I would savor every moment I got to work with him between now and then.

When the workday finally ended, I began picking up and putting things away so I could leave. I was about to wheel the chair I’d been using back to my cubicle when Ethan stopped me.

“Do you have a place to stay yet or do you still need to check into a motel?” he wanted to know.

“Actually, I closed on a house last Friday,” I replied, “so I have my own place already.”

The expression that suddenly came across Ethan’s face told me that he might have been slightly disappointed by my answer. Had he been about to offer to have me stay with him?

“Really? You certainly work fast,” he mumbled. “I didn’t think you’d have had time to get settled in yet, especially not into your own home.”

“Yes, I’m sure it does seem unusual,” I agreed, “but I stuck around after my second interview and went house hunting, just in case I was selected for the position. During that time, I was able to find a couple of properties that would suit my needs, so when I was offered the job I quickly called the realtor and got her started firming up a deal for me.”

After I told him this, Ethan asked where the house was located. When I gave him my home address, he seemed to brighten up again.

“That’s not very far from where I live,” he explained, “so I’ll probably be seeing you around. Are you doing anything special for dinner tonight.”

“I don’t have anything planned,” I admitted. “In fact, I haven’t even thought about what I was going to do about dinner.”

“In that case, would you like to join me?” he asked. “I’ll swing by the store, pick up a few things and then whip something up for us.”

“Only if you let me pay for whatever you pick up,” I replied.

“No, this is still my treat, since you’re just starting out,” he protested. “You go home and then I’ll stop by after I finish up at the store. That way, you can follow me back to my place, so you’ll know where I live and how to get there.”

Since he was going out of his way to be so nice, I thought his plan sounded wonderful to me. Besides, it would also give me a chance to see where he lived, so I agreed. We both got in our cars and drove off, and once I arrived at the house, I spent my time pacing around the living room until Ethan pulled in my driveway. As soon as I saw him, I stepped outside and quickly invited him in, so I could show him around my house first, before I followed him over to his place.

“Wow, and you’ve furnished it already too!” he exclaimed, after finishing the tour.

“Yes, I picked everything out last week, while I waited to close on the mortgage,” I confessed. “I had some of the furniture delivered on Friday afternoon and the rest of it arrived Saturday morning. I’m sure glad there wasn’t any problems with the closing or the furniture stores would probably have been very upset with me.”

I chuckled after saying this, but it was really more of a nervous laugh. I really had worried about how the stores would have handled it if the closing had ended up being held up for a week or two, or even longer.

“Yeah, that would have been a bitch if everything got delayed at the last second,” Ethan offered. “It looks very nice though and I think you did a fantastic job in a really short time.”

“Thanks,” I responded. “I’m glad you approve.”

Ethan grinned at my comment and then suggested I follow him over to his house. As it turned out, he lived in the next development down from the one I was in, but he had a much newer and larger home. I thought it was a little odd, since he lived alone too, so I made an off-handed comment about it.

“You’ve got a really gorgeous place here, but it’s kind of big for a bachelor, isn’t it?” I teased.

“Well, I’m hoping I won’t always be living here alone,” he replied, with a wink. “You wouldn’t happen to know anyone who might be interested in sharing this place with me, do you?”

“Oh, I might, in time,” I answered.

This was meant to let him know that I wasn’t opposed to the idea, but I’d like a chance to get to know him a little better first.

After he finished showing me around, I followed him into the kitchen and we chatted while he prepared dinner. Even though I offered to help, he told me I was his guest and he’d take care of everything. I was quite impressed by his culinary skills, as he whipped up more than just a basic bachelor meal.

When we sat down to eat, he first brought out a Greek salad for each of us, which was loaded with black olives, feta cheese and olive oil. Once we finished the salad, Ethan set a plate in front of me, which contained a rather sizable grilled salmon filet that had been seasoned with lemon pepper and garlic powder. It was served on a bed of rice and accompanied by a side of sliced peaches. It all looked and smelled absolutely delicious.

“I remembered from our conversation at lunch that you mentioned you liked salmon and tuna, so I thought you’d probably enjoy this,” he explained, after he had set the plate down in front of me.

“It looks fantastic, so I’m sure I will,” I countered.

The meal was wonderful, the wine perfect and the company absolutely enchanting. He even took me out to see a movie after we’d finished eating, so it was a truly magical evening. In my mind, I thought of it as being our first date.

When we returned to his house later, he surprised me with another offer.

“Bryan, if you’re not doing anything this weekend,” he began, “I’d love to take you on a tour around the area. There are more than a few places I think you’d probably enjoy visiting and I’d love to show them to you.”

How could I refuse such a lovely offer?

“I’d like that,” I agreed, “but I have to insist that you let me pay for whatever we do, since you’ve paid for everything so far.”

“I’ll compromise. I’ll let you pay for lunch and dinner,” he offered, “but everything else is on me.”

I was sure I was getting the better end of the deal again, but at least he was willing to let me do something for him too. I didn’t want to press the issue further, because he was being so sweet. Besides, I didn’t want to push him away, because I realized I was really beginning to fall for him. I know it must seem really soon for me to be saying something like this, so I hope he isn’t in reality a serial killer with a sweet disposition. However, since we will also be working together, I kind of doubt I have anything to worry about.

The rest of the week was just as wonderful for me and I got to spend a great deal more time with Ethan. I also began to master the various aspects of my new job and carried them out under Ethan’s patient scrutiny. We also went to lunch together every afternoon, although I got him to agree to alternate with me when paying for everything, so by Friday I was totally looking forward to spending the weekend with him.

As we left work for the final time that week, he told me he’d pick me up at 8:00 the following morning and suggested I dress casually. This made me wonder what he had in store for us.