Redneck Trailer Park - 2. Chapter 2

The Yellow Warm-up Suit

The warm-up suit might have been yellow when it was new. Now, it was mostly black. The blood from gashes in the boy’s wrists certainly looked black in the mercury-vapor streetlight. The person wearing the suit might once have been a redheaded boy. Now, he was a corpse, or as close to it as someone might come without being declared clinically dead. His respiration was shallow; his heartbeat was thready; his blood pressure nearly zero. He’s got delta waves, Tommy thought. Does that mean he’s still there, and fighting to live, or does it mean he’s already brain dead? Can’t tell … not enough information.

Tommy put a blood pressure cuff on the boy’s arm and pumped it up, not to measure, but to keep blood in the boy’s core and brain. “Find a vein!” he ordered his partner. “Cut, if you have to, but get him hooked up …Ringers!” He put a second blood pressure cuff on the boy’s other arm while his partner cut away the yellow warmup pants and found a vein that hadn’t collapsed. While Tommy put a third cuff on the boy’s right thigh, Gary started an IV and began looking for another vein.

“I need his right leg,” Gary said.

“As soon as you get the IV started, I’ll release the cuff. BP 60/40. I hope … ” Tommy couldn’t finish the sentence; Gary knew what he was about to say. I hope he’s not got brain damage. It was Tommy’s secret fear, one he’d shared only with Gary, that someday they’d bring back someone who should have been allowed to die; someone who was a living vegetable.

Two hours later, Tommy and Gary had refilled expendable supplies, cleaned up the blood, and turned the EMT van over to the next shift. It was only a few steps from the EMT ready room to the ER. They found the nurse who had triaged their patient. His name-badge read “Andy.”

“Andy, I’m Tommy. Any chance we can see him?” Tommy asked.

Andy knew who they meant. “Hey, I’m sorry, guys, but … no,” the nurse said. “Staff and family only past that door.”

Tommy nodded. He knew the rules, and the penalties for breaking them. “How about a cup of coffee?” he asked.

Andy nodded, “I’m due a break. Let me check out with the charge nurse.”

Andy knew what they wanted, and it didn’t take the coffee to get him started. “We got him type-matched, and put two more IVs in him. We ran a feeding tube down his throat. He’s getting everything we can give him, both ways.”

“How about brain function?” Tommy asked.

“About the only thing they could do was check pupillary reflexes … and they were okay. But that doesn’t mean much.”

If I could see him … get close enough … I could find out more, Tommy thought. But I can’t tell Andy that.

“What about an EEG?” Gary asked.

“Wouldn’t tell much,” Andy said. “Especially with all that’s going on around him. Shit, you can get an EEG reading from a watermelon.”

“Have they called a neurologist?” Tommy asked.

“Don’t have one on call,” Andy replied. “Have to wait until tomorrow when a neurosurgeon does rounds. They’ve put in a request. Um, don’t get me wrong, but do you know this kid?”

“No,” Tommy said. “It’s just … ”

“Shit, man, you’re crying!” Andy whispered. “What … ?”

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut and then wiped the tears from his face. “Two years ago … in Iraq … I was a corpsman … a soldier nearly bled out from wounds. I saved his life, but he had lost so much blood that he was clinically dead … for more than 15 minutes, they said later. He was a vegetable … sorry, in a vegetative state. He was so young …

“Shit, you know what I mean.” Tommy blushed.

“Yeah,” the nurse said. “First, do no harm … but, sometimes, well, sometimes, life sucks.

“Look, I’m on from 12:00 until midnight, tomorrow. This kid isn’t going anywhere for a while. He’ll be moved to ICU as soon as he’s stable. The neurosurgeon won’t do rounds until mid-afternoon, anyway, and this kid won’t be high on his list. I’ll keep an eye on him … can you come by tomorrow?”

Tommy and Gary agreed. Maybe I can get close enough, Tommy thought.

It was nearly midnight before Tommy and Gary could turn the EMT van over to their relief and look for Andy in the ER. He wasn’t there. Tommy was prepared to badger the receptionist when Andy stepped through the “staff only” door. He gestured toward a corner of the receiving area.

“Hi, guys. Okay, here’s the story. He’s in ICU. Still unconscious and the neurosurgeon won’t upgrade him from critical, not yet, anyway. No identification, and doesn’t match any local missing persons. His description has been sent out, but no one has responded, yet. Some asshole from Family Services—”

“Edgar Proctor,” Gary said.

Andy raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, that’s the name. How’d you know?”

“You said asshole,” Tommy said. He gestured for Andy to continue.

“Proctor tried to bull his way into the ICU, but Samantha … she’s the head ICU nurse … blocked him and pushed him on his ass! Really! He was sitting on the floor, legs spread apart, and would have fallen over if he’d not been propped against the wall. As it is, he hit his head on the water fountain.

“Anyway, that’s the story. We have a Johnny Doe, unconscious, critical condition. Sorry I can’t tell you more.”

Andy looked at Tommy. “I’m sorry, too, that I can’t be more optimistic, but … well, knowing how you feel … at least, thinking I know … I’d still rather tell you the truth than lie, even a little bit.”

Tommy was quiet for a moment, and then said, “Thanks, Andy. I’d rather you be truthful, too. I’d love to know that the kid’s going to be okay, but if he’s not … well, I hope you will … well, be there.

“I know that sounds weird, but … ”

“Yeah, a little bit weird … a lot, actually,” Andy said. “But, I’ll think on it.”

“Any chance of getting into the ICU?” Tommy asked, knowing that the answer was going to be, no.”

“Actually, no,” Andy said. “But you knew that. On the other hand … on the other hand, I can get you into the observation room.”

Ten minutes later, Andy led Tommy and Gary into a room with a large window overlooking the ICU. The room was dark. Andy explained. “One way mirror … not that the patients in ICU are likely to notice. Your boy’s the one on the right … ” He pointed.

Tommy stared at the boy. There wasn’t much of him to see for all the equipment and tubes. As Andy had said, there was a feeding tube, although only two IVs, now. Wires from electrodes led to a machine, but Tommy knew they were only for heart monitoring, not EEG. A blood oxygen monitor was clipped to one finger; a blood pressure cuff was on his right arm.

Tommy looked at the boy’s face. Yeah, he was a redhead, all right. Someone had cleaned him up, and his hair fell onto the pillow like a halo of fire. His skin was white, but Tommy could see a little glow in his cheeks. Physically, the boy seemed to be recovering. Tommy closed his eyes. Delta waves, still, he thought. Oh, thank you! Thank you! Theta waves! Natural sleep! He’s almost surely okay.

Who are you? The thought startled Tommy. It took only an instant for him to know that it was a thought. It took an eternity that lasted no more than two seconds to realize that the thought came from the boy.

I’m Tommy … the EMT … medic … who found you … ” he thought.

What came back shook Tommy to his core. Why didn’t you let me die? Why did you trap me, here? Where the fuck am I, anyway?

You did that to yourself? Tommy asked. His mind held a clear image of the boy in the dirty, blackened yellow sweatsuit, and of the gashes on the boy’s arms.

Hell yes, the boy said. There was nothing else to do …

Tommy thought furiously, and then answered. I hate to disagree with you … I mean, since you’re trapped here and don’t have any say in the matter … but yes, there was something else to do.

What would you know about it? What the fuck would you know?

Tommy formed another image in his mind. These are my arms, he said. The scars whose image he sent to the boy matched those that would form on the boy’s arm when his wounds healed.

You’re lying, the boy thought.

Can’t lie talking this way, Tommy said. Try.

The boy was silent for a moment. Tommy saw a red light flash on one of the boy’s monitors, and a nurse rush to his side.

Hey! Tommy sent. Stop trying! You’re frightening the nurses. He sent an image of what he was seeing.

Fuck! You’re watching me. Gettin’ your rocks off watching a cute boy suffering … oh shit. You think I’m cute … fuck … you’re gay, too?

Is that why you … Tommy didn’t say it, but showed the boy, once again, the wounds in his wrists.

Yeah, the boy said. You?

Partly, Tommy said. Long story … I was responsible for turning a young man … scarcely more than a boy … a soldier … 18 years old … into a vegetable. I didn’t know him, and I was so fucking depressed that I’d never have a chance to know him … I didn’t even know if he were gay … just hoping for it … I was feeling sorry for myself, and not him … I know that doesn’t make sense … like I said, it’s a long story.

Yeah, I got it, the boy said. All of it. This talking like this … it’s kind of scary. Did you … do you … do you know all about me, now, too?

Tommy searched his mind, and found what the boy meant. Holy shit! he said. Yes, now that I looked for it … it’s there. Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry your friend died … you really loved him … that’s why … oh … Jeff, I’m so sorry.

Gary nudged Tommy. “Hey, you’ve been staring at him for long enough,” he whispered. “Andy’s gonna get suspicious.”

Andy coughed to get their attention. “Hey, Tommy. What’s the connection? I know there is one … I mean, you’re looking at him as if he were, like, your brother or son or something.”

Tommy’s voice was flat; it had no more inflection than a computer answering machine. “His name is Jeff Evans. His boyfriend died … pancreatic cancer. Boyfriend’s name was Billy Gray. Here one day, dead a week later. Jeff felt lost and alone. He didn’t want to live without his boyfriend. He took the coward’s way out. Same as I did, once.” Tommy pushed up his sleeves and showed Andy the scars.

“Shit, man,” Andy said. “That’s so weird. You know him! Why didn’t you say so sooner?”

“You want weird?” Tommy asked. “I’ll give you weird, so weird no one outside The Weekly World News would even listen to you. We just finished talking—Jeff and I did. He told me about his boyfriend. He told me his name. I don’t know what you can do with this information, but … ”

“Hey, man,” Andy said. “I’m not going to rat you out. His boyfriend, you said. And you sounded like you were okay with that. Are you?”

Tommy nodded. Gary spoke. “Yeah, he is … we are.”

Andy nodded. “Me too. Yeah, I know … stereotype … gay male nurse. Fuck it. I don’t care. Come on. Tell him you’ll be back, and that we’re going to figure out what to do, next.”

Andy led the way to an empty office, and flipped on the computer. “This is the super’s office; it’s okay … she knows we use her computer when she’s not here. The only rule is not to leave coffee cup rings on her blotter or porn on the hard drive.”

A few minutes later, Andy looked up. “Got him. Lives in Sontag. At least, he attends public school, there. Won some sort of academic triathlon a few months ago. Billy Gray was a member of the team. I found Billy’s obit: pancreatic cancer. Died in this hospital less than a week ago. No missing person report on Jeff, though. What do you suppose is the problem, there?”

“Won’t know until we find his parents. You’re pretty good at this … any chance of finding more?”

“Well, we’re the closest hospital. If he were born here … ” Andy punched keys. “Nope. Let me try vital records. The hospital link may get me where angels fear to tread and the public dare not go.”

Several minutes later, Andy looked up. “Birth certificate lists parents … ready to copy?” Tommy nodded. Andy read out names.

“Now, back to Google,” he said, and punched in the parents’ names.

“Facebook … hmm. Parents are in Belize on vacation according to this. Guys, you’ve got to keep this under your hats, okay?”

Not sure what they were being asked to do, Tommy and Gary nodded. Andy switched to an email program and typed for a couple of minutes. Then, he logged out and switched off the computer.

“Got a friend who makes a living hacking web sites … it’s okay; he’s a good guy … tests internet security for people. For me, he’ll find out everything there is to know about Jeff’s parents, including if they’re still his parents. Can’t receive the answer on this computer. He’ll send it to my own account. Come on. You owe me another cup of coffee.”

“We already owe you a lot more than that,” Tommy said.

Andy grinned. “We’ll work that out someday.”

Andy’s phone buzzed while they were in the cafeteria. He scanned the screen, punched some buttons, and then shut the phone. “They’re still his parents. Loaded … father’s an architect; mother’s an interior decorator. Both deal only with the rich and famous. Jeff lives in their show-home … yeah, they use the family home to showcase their talents. Housekeeper, gardener, cook, driver, a couple of secretaries, draftsmen, hell of a staff. My guess is that none of them is responsible for the boy, and when his parents are gone … based on their credit card records, that’s quite often … he’s on his own. Has his own bank account and debit card.

“Sounds like a case for Edgar Proctor.”

Before Andy could grin to show he was kidding, Tommy growled. “Wash your mouth out! We’ve got to figure out how to keep Jeff out of Proctor’s hands.”

Andy sobered. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“What about that deputy who adopted the kid who was raped?” Andy asked.

“Who? What about him?”

“I don’t know his name,” Andy said. “He’s kin to Judge Llewellyn, the family court guy, somehow. At least, he might point us in the right direction.”

Tommy and Gary shook hands with Charlie, the deputy sheriff. They’d run into one another several times in the past couple of years, usually things involving emergencies. There was nothing quite like working together to pry a kid out of a wrecked car before it caught fire to form a bond.

When Tommy told Charlie the problem, Charlie was glad to help. “We’re having dinner with my in-laws tomorrow,” he said. “After dinner, the judge takes me into his den for port. And wants to know all about what’s going on in the sheriff’s department. I think he regrets that he left the force for law school.

“I’ll be able to work this into the conversation. Now, give me the details.”

Andy walked Tommy to the floor. “Wait here for a minute,” he said. Andy went to the nurses’ station and spoke in whispers to one of the women in white. He came back, and led Tommy to a private room. “You can stay as long as you like, unless the nurse comes in and says to leave. She’ll only do that if someone else comes on the floor. Ain’t likely. When you leave, don’t go past the nurses’ station … go the other way and down the stairs, okay?”

“Thanks, man, I owe you,” Tommy said.

“Yeah,” Andy said. “You said that before. Too bad I’ve already got a boyfriend … I could think of some ways you could pay me back.” He chuckled, and then grinned to show he really didn’t mean it.

“How about Gary and I take you and your boyfriend to dinner?” Tommy asked.

“Um … Gary didn’t tell you, did he?” Andy said.

Tommy’s eyes widened. “That … oh! I’m so glad, for both of you!”

“You’re not upset … your partner … ?” Andy asked.

“No way, man. Gary and I … we hung out for a while, had sex a couple of times. Didn’t click. And he was so shy … I was really worried for him. That settles it, I’ll take you to … Outback? It’s Gary’s favorite. We’ll call it an engagement party or something.”

Tommy sat in the darkened room, afraid to open a link to Jeff. The boy was asleep … at least, his eyes were closed and his breathing slow.

“You ever gonna say anything?” Jeff whispered.

“How long have you known I was here?” Tommy asked.

“Since you came into the ER about half an hour ago,” Jeff said. “I … I felt you. I knew it was you. Can we talk the way we did, before? This makes me tired.”

Sure, Tommy thought. How are you feeling?

Not so good … not so bad, either. Just kinda drifting. They keep me doped up, a lot.

To keep you from thinking about … you know, Tommy thought.

You can say it … trying to kill myself. No, I keep thinking. The pills don’t stop me from thinking, just make my body tired. What do you look like? It’s too dark in here to see you, even if I weren’t too tired to open my eyes.

Tommy thought. I think this is what I looked like when I washed my face this morning. He tried to capture the remembered image from his mirror.

What about the rest of you?

When I was out running, the other day, I caught someone looking at me. Here’s what she saw. Tommy sent another image.

Wow! You’re hot! Is your dick really that big?

That’s not my dick! Tommy blushed. And that’s not the image I sent you! Where did it come from?

It’s what she saw … or wanted to see … it came over with what you thought she saw. I’m sorry, but you are really hot! And if that’s not your dick, what was making the huge bulge in those tight little running shorts?

Jeff, this conversation is getting a little … no, a lot uncomfortable for me. Can’t you tell that?

Um, hum. But I’ve got nothing better to do. Do you know that they put the television on in the daytime? Do you have any idea how terrible daytime television is? I’d rather think about you … Besides, I remember the first time we talked … you thought I was cute. Don’t you remember?

Yes, Jeff. I do think you’re cute, but that’s simply a natural evolutionary response. We are programmed to think children are cute in order to protect our genes and preserve the species.

Jeff giggled. It was a real giggle, and not in his mind. Then, Tommy, you are so full of shit! You like me. I can tell. You said we couldn’t lie talking like this, so don’t try to lie. You like me. You want to have sex with me … and I really want to have sex with you. And it would be okay, really! You can tell! You can tell!

Jeff! Calm down, or the nurse is going to come in and make me leave!

Jeff’s breathing slowed, and his pulse rate dropped. Down the hall, the nurse, who had stood up, sat down again.

Tommy analyzed what he had received from Jeff, and thought about his own feelings.

Jeff, I’ve been told for so long that sex between a man and a boy was bad, evil, wrong, that I’m having a hard time understanding how you feel and, yes, how I feel.

It’s only bad when it’s not loving! Jeff thought. That’s how I look at it. It’s only bad when it’s bad, and if there’s love, it’s not bad.

You love me, don’t you? the boy asked. His thoughts seemed wistful.

Jeff, I truly don’t know if it’s love, or … The soldier I told you about? I didn’t love him … I thought I might have loved him, if he had lived and if he had been gay and if we had managed to find that out about one another. But I couldn’t have loved him, because I never knew him!

Part of the problem, Jeff, is that he was a redhead, like you. He had freckles across his nose, like you. He had golden eyebrows, like you. He had a button nose, like you. I think he looked a lot more like you than you do, yourself. But I don’t know … I may be making that up. I may be remembering the wrong thing.

No, you’re not, Jeff thought. I see the sidebands better than you do … the stuff that comes along with your conscious thoughts. Oh, ham radio … sidebands is a ham radio thing. Anyway, I see him pretty clearly, and you’re right. I think I’ll look a lot like him in about five years.

Jeff paused. Would you give me some water, please? There’s a glass on the Mayo stand. He opened his eyes and turned his head toward Tommy.

Tommy held the cup with the flexible straw so that Jeff could sip on it. When Jeff had drunk, he put his hand behind Tommy’s head and pulled it down, and kissed him on the cheek. The heart monitor went up, but once again, the nurse didn’t stand up until it had gone down, again.

“Tommy? Please kiss me? Just on the cheek or forehead, but please kiss me? Just once. It doesn’t have to be a sex thing, but maybe just a friend thing?”

Tommy bent over and kissed the boy on the cheek. “Friends,” he said.

Jeff smiled, and closed his eyes. Thank you, Tommy. My parents haven’t kissed me in so long, I’ve forgotten. Billy kissed me; we were in love … Jeff felt Tommy’s concern. It’s okay, I’ve thought a lot … I’ll always love Billy a little, and I’ll probably always think of Billy when I get a kiss or do sex stuff … but I won’t try to kill myself, again.

When Jeff said sex stuff, he sent—deliberately, Tommy thought—images that went straight to Tommy’s gut … actually, to his penis, which surged and pressed uncomfortably into the stiff cotton of his scrubs.

Jeff! What are you doing?

This time, the giggle was strictly in his mind. Just teasing, Jeff thought. The giggles continued, and Jeff’s I’m sorry had no truth to it. I guess you can lie … or, at least, tease … this way, he thought.

Charlie met Tommy and Gary in the coffee house. “We have enough on the parents to charge them with abandonment and endangerment. They thought the staff might support them, say they were supposed to be watching the boy, but apparently the staff doesn’t think much of the parents or their child-rearing philosophy. None of them were willing to take the rap.

“The judge brought the parents in and gave them an ultimatum: let him place the boy, or face charges. They were anxious to sign the paperwork. It includes a decent financial settlement … trust fund that will pay for his support through high school, for college, and some walkin’ around money between now and then.

“Now, here’s the bad news. There’s no one in the foster system willing to take a kid who tried to kill himself. Proctor’s beside himself. He won’t try another county. Figures that would be a blot on his record.

“So, there’s only one thing. Tommy? Will you adopt him? Not foster, but adopt. It was the kid’s idea. He asked the judge. Just came out with it. Surprised the judge, but he’s okay with it … and he knows you’re gay. Just don’t come out and say that in open court, okay?

Well, this is another “happily ever after” story, based on records that are available (if you can crack the security) from the family court of _____ County. It all happened a couple of years ago; now, Tommy and Jeff are happy. I guess that’s the best we could hope for.