Adamagika: The Spirit Within - 6. Ch 06: All Things Lost

CHAPTER 06: All Things Lost

My eyes finally opened.

I was on the forest floor. Trees were scattered about but not as many as the ones I saw in the Anthium forest. We were in a meadow and the stars were shining clearly over our heads.

I was on a soft patch of grass almost as if they were placed there for me. It wasn’t the cleanest place to lie on but at least it was comfortable. There was a source of light coming from behind me. I turned around and saw a small campfire burning there.

Seated around the fire was my teacher. He seemed to be studying the flames intently. His shoulders were tense and his forehead crumpled in thought. The flames before him seemed to dance as though forming shapes. I must have been hit in the head harder than I thought.

I also saw Jacob seated a few feet away from him. His face was blank and expressionless and he didn’t seem to be looking at anything in particular.

I remembered all the memories that came flooding in me. Could they have all been real? Did they all really happen?

Could Jacob hear voices like me?

I tried to sit up and felt a pain on my side. I winced at that.

I wasn’t really near enough to them to be heard, yet my teacher must have because his trance was interrupted.

“Adam,” he said softly. He then hurried towards me and kneeled next to me. “How are you feeling?”

“Like crap, sir.”

He chuckled lightly at this and the weight on his shoulders seemed to have been lifted.

“I’ve mended your ribs. They should be fine in a few hours,” he said then continued in that same soft voice “I was afraid that I had lost you…” He seemed to look deeply into my eyes.

“I’m alright, sir,” I replied somewhat untruthfully. Different parts of my body ached and my side seemed to still be in pain. “Frankly though, I’m more confused than hurt at this point.”

“That makes two of us,” he responded somewhat glumly. “What happened back there?”

“I dunno, sir.” I tried to recall again everything that happened in the forest and everything that seemed to happen after that. “It was weird,” was all I could reply.

“I see, you aren’t much more help than our friend here, hmm?” he said with one eyebrow raised. “I’ve tried to ask him the same questions but he hasn’t said a word since he woke up.”

His eyes seemed to harden at this.

“He was unconscious too, sir?”

“Yes, he came out of it just a few minutes before you did.” He released a monumental sigh. “I don’t understand what happened between you two. But whatever it was, great magic was involved. I could sense it even before I could see you. And when I heard you screaming, I just thought…”

He broke off and looked into the distance. The tree seemed be quite more interesting to him than my face.

“Sir, I’m alright really,” I replied more sincerely. “I’ll live,” I said and tried to give him the best smile I could manage.

He replied with a small smile of his own but it was clearly forced.

“Now,” he said, “why don’t you help me understand our friend here a little better? You said his name was Jacob.”

“Yes, that’s his name.” I looked over to Jacob. He hadn’t moved an inch since I last looked at him.

“How do you know that?” my teacher asked.

I contemplated whether I should tell him. The voice warned me not to but that was then. Perhaps it was different now that we had found him. I was waiting for the voice to tell me not to explain but she didn’t speak. I figured that was a good sign.

“The voice told me, sir.”

“The voice? The one that told you that Madame Rooste was evil?” I couldn’t see his eyes clearly since he had the flame to his back. I wish I could because his eyes seemed to give away his emotions. In fact, I seemed to be really good at that with other people too. I needed to know right then what he felt about the situation.

“Yes, sir,” I said somewhat uncertainly. “Well, she didn’t tell me that he was Jacob. I just somehow… I knew and then I had these dreams or maybe visions of his life. It was as if I was watching it as an observer. I couldn’t understand it all really. They were mostly bits and pieces of his past.”

My teacher turned towards Jacob as if to study him. For a moment, the flames of the fire seemed to flicker in his eyes. I didn’t see kindness there or understanding. It seemed colder. I didn’t like that at all.

“Sir, he’s not evil.” I placed my hand on his arm. He looked back at me and our eyes met. “He’s like me, sir. He can hear voices too.”

My teacher’s body seemed to stiffen at that. I was starting to wonder if it was a mistake to explain all this to him. Maybe I didn’t know my teacher as well as I thought I did. Maybe there was something in his past after all that made sharing all this with him a risk.

He seemed to relax suddenly and he raised a hand to my cheeks like he used to when I was much younger. His face was covered in darkness but the smile on his face was unmistakable. His eyes despite being drenched in shadow looked at me now with love and concern.

“Adam,” he began, “you may have some things in common with this boy. But he is not like you. You are special, Adam, unique above all other mages. Your future is shrouded in mystery but there is no doubt that you will do great things. This boy Jacob,” he said with a glance at our guest, “I am uncertain what path lies before him. But I know this much. There is much darkness in it and it would be unwise to trust him so easily.” He paused and looked at me as though waiting for me to agree. I didn’t feel the same way.

“Sir, I don’t know why but I know my future is tied to him. Back there in the forest, it almost felt like we became one. I felt this sudden explosion of magic coming from inside me and I knew, I just knew, that it had something to do with Jacob.”

He looked down and sighed. He looked up at me again with a somewhat sterner face. “You cannot trust this boy, Adam. He may very well be your death.”

I stared blankly at him. My death? What the heck did this have to do with my death? “Is there something you’re not telling me, sir?”

I knew he was hiding something. He looked at me for a moment as though deciding if he should tell me. He seemed to decide otherwise. “I just don’t trust this boy, Adam,” he said softly.

“But I do sir,” I said loud enough for Jacob to hear, hoping to take the opportunity to get on his good side. “I trust him, sir, and you should trust me.”

Our eyes held each other for a long time as though bending the other to our will.

He eventually sighed again and seemed to waver in his resolve. “Well, if you trust him that much, then perhaps you can get him to speak to us?” He said this somewhat playfully and challengingly.

I smiled because I realized that this was my teacher’s way of saying that he trusted my judgment, at least for the time being.

I hugged him. I couldn’t help it. I’ve never hugged him before but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it then. He seemed to hug me back without any hesitation as though he’d been waiting for it all this time.

When we broke apart, his eyes seemed moist. He nudged his head towards Jacob which I took as my cue for me not to further embarrass us.

I turned towards Jacob. The whole time Magister Aenhol and I were talking, he remained seated there staring blankly into the forest as though waiting for the world to end. His face was expressionless. His pale blue eyes seemed almost empty.

I sat near him but just far enough to be out of reach. I wasn’t sure how comfortable he would be sitting next to me. We didn’t know each other after all. We just shared a very unusual experience in the forest.

My teacher remained away from us and seemed to find a particular plant bush very interesting.

“Jacob?” He didn’t react to me saying his name. “Jacob, my name is Adam. Do you know who I am?”

He still didn’t move.

“You can trust me, Jacob. You’re safe with me. You know I won’t harm you. I will protect you with everything I have.”

His eyes seemed to twitch a bit. Somehow I knew that what I said reminded him of Thomas. I wasn’t sure if what I was saying was wise. I didn’t know what happened to Thomas after all but I did need to be able to reach out to Jacob somehow.

“Do you trust me, Jacob? Like I trust you?”

He remained motionless in his spot.

I sighed. I looked over at my teacher who seemed to be engrossed on the plant he was studying. I knew without a doubt though that he heard every word I’ve been saying. An idea occurred to me.

I walked over to him. He didn’t look up from his plant.

“Sir.”

“Mmhmm?” he said without looking at me. I knew this game.

“Do you have Jacob’s dagger, sir?”

That caught his attention. He looked up at me, studying my face but I knew he couldn’t see much since it was now me that had the fire to my back.

“Why?” he asked calmly.

“I need it sir.”

He looked at me uncertainly.

“Do you trust me, sir?”

“Yes, Adam, you know I trust you completely.”

“Then give me the dagger, sir.” He must have been somewhat surprised at my tone of voice because I knew I was. I was never this assertive towards him about anything other than recitation in his classes.

He withdrew the dagger from beneath his robe. It was wrapped in a red cloth. He handed it to me.

I knelt down next to him. “Now sir, I need you to trust me more now than ever to know what I’m doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, sir,” I replied in a somewhat pleading tone, “that no matter what happens that you will not interfere.”

“Adam, you can’t expect…”

“Please sir, promise me that you will sit here and do nothing while I talk to him no matter what he does.” I whispered again to him. I knew I needed to get him to agree as soon as possible because the longer we whispered, the less likely Jacob would trust me.

He sighed again and looked deeply into my eyes. I felt like he was trying to read my mind for my intentions. “You’ve changed.”

I nodded at him knowing the truth in that statement though without knowing why. “Yes sir, I have. But I’m still Adam.”

I offered him a smile before turning back towards Jacob. I removed the dagger from the red cloth and sat next to Jacob. He didn’t even flinch.

“Here,” I said, “a peace offering and a gesture of trust.” I plunged the dagger into the ground between his feet.

He made no move to grab it or even look at me.

“From me, to you,” I said when he didn’t move. “I am your friend, Jacob.”

He still remained motionless through all this and I was starting to become weary of his lack of reaction.

I looked over to my teacher who was studying the plant again. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the sudden movements in Jacob’s arms.

With his left hand, he grabbed the hilt of the dagger. His right arm came around my neck in one swift motion. He pointed his dagger to the side of my neck not covered by his arm.

I saw my teacher’s eyes widen in fear and felt the shimmer of magic around us.

“Wait!” I yelled out. I meant for my teacher to take pause at what he was about to do but Jacob must have thought I was talking to him because he also paused. Either way, it was good for me. “Are you going to kill me now, Jacob?” I felt a sense of courage in me that a few days ago probably didn’t exist. “Am I going to be your first kill? The first human being you ever kill?”

“You’re a mage!” were his first words throughout the whole night. Hearing his voice gave me strength.

“Yes, I am Jacob, but you’ve seen my life,” I said softly. I felt his body stiffen. “I know you’ve seen it because I’ve seen yours. I know you’ve never killed anyone before. Now that you’ve seen the life I have lived, are you willing to kill me now? Are you willing to take an innocent life?”

“You’re a mage!” he repeated. It was obvious he was trying to convince himself. “You’re not innocent.”

“But, you’ve seen my life Jacob. You know I am,” I told him. I don’t actually know what he saw in my life but if my experiences were anything similar to his, then he would have seen enough of me to understand. “You’ve seen where I came from. I’m like you. I came from the village too.”

His hold around my neck tightened slightly. “You’re nothing like me. You know nothing about me. You’re kind took everything from me!”

So, was it mages that killed his family? I had to think fast. “I didn’t kill your parents, Jacob,” I tried to say it soothingly but with his grip around my neck, it might have sounded a bit choked. “Will you kill me because of what others have done? Should I be punished because I am a mage even if I have never in my life done anything to harm anyone else?”

He didn’t respond but I could feel uncertainty swirling in him. He held his grip on my neck from behind me. My teacher was across us, his eyes wary and he seemed ready to strike at any moment. I just hoped that he trusted me enough to get out of this on my own.

Jacob was fidgeting. He wasn’t lowering the knife but he wasn’t letting go of my neck. I knew I had to say more to get him to release me but I could only think of one more thing.

“Kill me then, Jacob.” His arms tightened even more if it were possible. “Kill me like they did your parents.” It barely came out of my mouth with his grip on it. The knife felt like it was breaking skin.

It seemed to go on forever. I knew if he didn’t release me soon, I’d probably die from suffocation if not from the neck wound from the knife.

Eventually, he did let me go. He lowered his arms and the dagger fell at our feet. He fell on his knees and wept.

I knelt next to him and slowly placed an arm over his shoulder.

He leaned against me and sobbed. His body shook with each ragged breath.

I looked over at my teacher and his face seemed relax. His eyes were glued to the hem of his robes as though studying the intricate patterns on it.

I turned my attention back to the boy sobbing in my arms and felt tears stream down my face. I knew what he was crying for. I could feel with every shake the loss, the grief and perhaps the realization of what he had almost done; what he had been willing to do.

This boy was no longer innocent.