Failine - 1. Chapter 1

Pain is the key to transformation. At least, to the first transformation of a shifter like me. The Fever had ended two weeks ago, and this night I was to go through the Agony. From the morning on, my stomach had been tied up in knots. I wasn’t sure whether I’d throw up the Catalyst, loads of herbs thrown together for the sole purpose of causing intense pain. This would be a disgrace to my family — if my might existence already wasn’t. The idea of running away had occurred to me more than once, but the son of the pack leader didn’t run away. And Dillon would pass through the Agony too, so I wouldn’t be alone at least.

“Why do I have to wear a suit if this evening is about changing into a wolf?” I said to my mom and the shabby reflection of myself. I tucked at the sleeves of my shirt which were more than an inch short. My arms had outgrown the rest of my body, and it didn’t make much of an effort to catch up with them.

“Elias, honey, you don’t change into a wolf, but into the wolf. Doing this for the first time is a reason for celebration — and suits and dresses.” She grabbed my hands, stopping me from pulling at the shirt. Her hands were tiny in comparison to mine. “Look at those paws. You’ll be an impressive wolf like your father.”

Some more expectations to fulfill. That was what I needed right now. I smiled at her for that would make her happy.

Jamie ran into the room and frisked around Mom and me, Mr. Hoppypop in his arm. Where Jamie was, there was his stuffed rabbit with the missing ear. “Mommy, Mommy, when will I become a wolf?”

Mom laughed out, knelt down, and caught him in her arms. “You’re 6 years old, sweetheart. You’ll have to wait for another 10 years, I fear.” She caressed his cheeks which were red and damp from the frolicking around.

He looked up at me. “You’ll tell me everything about shifting? Please, please, please!”

I tousled his brown hair. “Of course, shorty.” At least, his suit was a perfect fit.

He grinned, but some serious thoughts wiped it from his face. “And you won’t eat Mr. Hoppypop. You promised!”

I rose two fingers, holding back a laugh. “Scout’s honor!” I crossed my heart with the fingers.

I never had been a boy scout, but the pledge satisfied him anyway, for the grin returned.

“My boys. No wait, my boy and my man,” Mom said, and her gaze alternated between my little brother and me. The Mona Lisa would’ve asked her for advice about that benign smile.

A man. I didn’t feel different at all. How did it feel to be man in the first place?

“It’s time,” my father said. He leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. He must have witnessed that scene because the benignity of his smile rivaled Mom’s. Even when he was relaxed and at ease, an air of respect surrounded him. It was hard to put a finger on this, but he filled the room with authority just by being there. This would never happen for me, and their ever-repeating talks about me taking over the pack one day didn’t help to come to terms with this.

Jamie stormed out of the door, and given the noise, a herd of elephants stampeded down the stairs.

“Hold it, sweetheart,” Mom said and laughed. “I’ll try to get him into the jacket and the shoes.” She got up to follow him.

Dad kissed her on the cheek as she passed him at the door. “Good hunt, darling.”

She answered with a sigh-snort.

“Let me look at you,” Dad said. He walked behind me and smoothened some wrinkles out of my suit. “Your mom’s right. You’re a man now.” His graying reflection looked at me with an earnest expression. “And I want you to have this.” He held up the bone necklace. “It has been carved from the bones of the first doe your great grandfather killed.” He put it in my hand. The bone fragments felt cool and smooth. That was the feel of death itself as I imagined it. “From me to you. From you to your son. Honor this.”

I turned around. “Of course, Sir. Thank you, Sir.” Jamie and I called him ‘Sir’, though he never had asked for it.

He embraced me, and despite being quite tall for my age, my face ended up in his chest. “Make me proud.”

I was trying, Sir.