Broken - 19. Blurry

Well that was unpleasant but I felt better. Somebody told me to take it easy and offered me some water. I wasn’t on bare ground. It was soft and hey... where am I and who is here?

“Who is that?” I croaked, barely recognizing my own voice.

“Brian. You were expecting Elvis?”

I tried to sit up. My head was spinning and pounding. I looked at my watch. “Damn, it’s after seven. My folks are probably having kittens, again. Why can’t I have a normal weekend for a change?”

Brian laughed and said, “Don’t sweat it man. I told them we were going to camp out at the fort. Think you can make it?”

“I think so. Let me collect myself a bit.” My body complained about a number of things at once. My ribs were still sore from getting pounded on Monday but I had a new list of complaints. My head had a knot that you could land planes on. My arms and chest were cut but it was superficial. I had landed on a couple of pine cones that objected violently.

“How long have you been here Brian?” I asked.

“Maybe fifteen minutes.”

“Thanks man. How did you know where to look for me?”

“One of my dealer dudes lives right around the corner. When I hit him up I go back to the fort this way. Keeps me off the main road when I’ve got a pocket full of sunshine. I wasn’t really looking so I almost tripped over you.”

“Give me a hand, I’m going to try to get up.”

With his help I managed to get up. I walked around a bit to shake the cobwebs and work out the kinks. We still had a long walk in the dark to contend with.

Brian started collecting his things. He really was ready to camp. He had a sleeping bag, a full pack and a flashlight. He said, “I cut down the trip line they left for you. It’s gotta be Wheeler. Farmer is way too stupid to think up something like this on his own.”

“You would think that guy would learn. He has tangled with me twice now and ended up on the ground both times.”

Brian rolled up his sleeping bag and said, “Oh man, I forgot. I talked to Scotty before I went to Nate’s this afternoon. His Mom had a bug on about going to Tupelo this weekend so he’s going to be out of pocket.”

“Oh well. I’ve got a headache anyway.”

Brian laughed hard at that. “You two! I could see my brother and Mark but you and Scotty? Don’t get me wrong. I can see what the two of you have together but it all seems.. I mean.. Oh, never mind.”

“Go ahead Brian, spit it out.”

He got the last of his stuff stowed away and put on his backpack. I got my bike up and we started Southeast toward the fort.

Brian said thoughtfully, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, now if you don’t say it, I’ll wonder about it all weekend.”

We walked along the trail with Brian leading the way with his flashlight and me walking my bike beside him. Finally, after a long, awkward pause, he said, “I just can’t see how you two are together. It all seems so one sided. I know what you do for him. You’re that way with everybody. I just don’t see what he does for you. What do you see in him?”

I chuckled, “Is that what was eating you?”

He nodded silently.

“Brian, you didn’t hurt my feelings. Scotty doesn’t really have to do anything for me. We’ve been friends for so long that we’re more like brothers. When I’m all screwed up like I get sometimes, nobody, not even my Mom, can talk me down like Scotty can.”

“That’s the way that Doug and me used to be. Now it’s you Jimmy. You’re my best friend. If it wasn’t for you, there wouldn’t be anything for me here.”

I put my free hand on his shoulder, “I love you too Brian. I know that if Scotty isn’t there for me, then you are. I haven’t forgotten last Saturday night and here, just now, if it wasn’t for you, I would probably still be napping with oak roots for a pillow.”

Brian was quiet for a while and then he asked, “Dude, who is Pete?”

“Is he bothering you too?” I growled.

“No. You said his name before you woke up- fighting mad I might add.”

I sighed. I had meant to tell Scotty and Brian about Pete when we were all three together but the opportunity hadn’t presented itself yet. So for the rest of the way to the fort, I told Brian all about Pete. How he had started calling last fall when stuff started getting around about me. How he always called in the afternoons when no one was at home but me. How he propositioned me on the phone, offered me money for sex, and had finally tricked me into being alone with him and what he did. I described Pete in detail and his buck knife. I told Brian about his truck, the corn ball country music, and the guns in his gun rack- every little detail that I could think of.

When I finished, we walked along in silence for a while. It shook me up talking about it. I was glad that it was dark. Tears were running down my face.

Finally Brian said, “Jimmy, I’m glad you told me that. I know it wasn’t easy. Jesus, I don’t know what to say. I knew you were really messed up last Saturday night but I had no idea... ”

“Yeah. I’ve got to tell Scotty but I don’t know how. I don’t keep secrets from him but this hurts to even think about it. I’m scared that he’s going to go after you or Scotty or some of my other friends. Ya’ll are way better looking than I am.”

Brian chuckled and asked, “What makes you think that?”

“I’m not cute.”

Brian replied, “No. You aren’t cute. It’s different with you. We look like kids but you are starting to look like a man. To me, you look like a buff Jim Morrison. I think you got targeted because you don’t look like us. You look older, more mature and burly. I doubt this guy will give any of us any trouble. We’re probably not his type.”

I sighed, “I sure hope not. If he did that shit to you or Scotty and I found out about it, I would have to kill him.”

Finally, we had arrived at the fort. I parked my bike and we went inside. Brian used his flashlight to illuminate things until we got settled. We kept an old oil lamp on hand for just such an occasion.

Brian had clearly been planning for a camp out. There was a charcoal grill and an ice chest parked inside the fort. We started up the charcoal and smoked a nice fat joint while we waited for the coals to get ready to cook on.

Don’t know exactly why but there very few things that taste better than hot dogs cooked over charcoal. We both ate three with mustard and sauerkraut, a pile of potato chips and washed them down with root beer. When we were done, like the good scouts that we were, we cleaned up our campsite and stowed away our food for the night.

When we got inside, we changed into warm-ups, turned on the radio and got down to some really serious weed smoking. Brian had a bong stashed at the fort since New Years and we used it with some cold water from the ice chest.

We took many bong hits. Brian eventually produced a bottle of cheap wine that we passed around. It wasn’t all that good but before long, it didn’t matter that much.

Brian and I passed the evening chatting idly about school, our friends and stuff in general. The topic of Doug didn’t come up. I didn’t want to spoil the mood and apparently neither did he. He really seemed to be having a good time. It occurred to me that Brian was pretty lonely.

It got to be pretty late and Brian said, “You want to try one of these?” He showed me a couple of big white pills.

I looked at them dubiously. “What are they?”

Brian handed me one. It was stamped with the word “Lemon” and the number “714”. “They’re ludes man. They’re pretty cool. They make you go to sleep eventually but you’re pretty goofy before you do. I like’em cause they make you sleep deep and the nightmares don’t come.”

I looked at him sadly. “You too?”

He nodded. “These help.”

I took a look at it and decided to try it. I swallowed it with a swig of wine.

It took about half an hour but it seemed like things began to slow down. It made everything seem a little funnier. Things seemed to become blurry.

Brian unrolled his sleeping bag and opened it all the way. We both kind of collapsed there giggling and being silly. Before I got too rooted to the spot, I stood up and blew out the lamp.

Brian said groggily, “Man did it ever get dark.”

I teased him as I plopped back down, “You afraid of the dark?”

“Naw. The biggest beast in these woods is a good friend of mine.”

I lay down on my back with Brian on my right side. He rolled over and draped his right arm across my chest and put his head on my shoulder.

He said, “I love you Jimmy and kissed me lightly on the cheek.”

“I love you too Brian”, I replied and kissed him on the top of his head.