My Narrative Dream - 1. Only Chapter :)

There was a hollow feeling in my soul.

As if my entire being was standing to attention, awaiting a final verdict on something I did wrong. I had contemplated coming out for a while now, and one night I decided to get it over and done with.

I called my mum into the lounge and I began the process with much trepidation and angst. The conversation flowed smoothly but when she realised what it was that I intended to tell her, the tears streamed off her cheeks and I realised there and then that the news was absolutely unbearable for her. Thinking that she might need some space I went to my room to pack a few essentials into a bag and drove to Julia's house.

But she wasn’t there. The only other person I could turn to was Chris. I wasn’t sure where he lived so I rang him up to get directions. While speaking to him my voice trembled with emotion.

‘So, where are you now?’ He asked.

‘I’m driving. I need to see you. Speak to you. Would you mind if I slept over? I'm away from home for the night.’

‘I’d love for you to crash here. No problem.’ He said, excitement thick in his voice. Then, ‘Jamie, are you okay?’

‘Yup, I’m fine. I’ll see you in a bit. Oh, and thank you.’

* * *

As I arrived, Chris and his family were having tea, so I made my way to his bedroom and waited. The walls covered in an ocean blue wallpaper, faded from many years of sunlight. The wooden furniture recently glazed, reflecting the dull light coming from the ceiling.

‘Hey you, good to see you. I see you made yourself comfortable. I would have done the same.’ He laughed.

I remained silent. Staring at the floor.

‘’Ok Jamie, what’s up?’ His voice was serious.

A lump formed in my throat and I swallowed hard. I couldn’t talk to him now. It was as though everything I wanted to say had jammed in my throat.

‘Could we talk about it later?’

He shrugged, ‘Sure. Want to watch a movie or something? Playstation?’

‘Lets do both.’

A couple of hours later, Chris’ mum knocked on the door and told us to settle in for the night. He turned off the playstation, and I sat in silence for a moment before finally building up the courage to say what I had come to tell him.

I gazed at him with wet eyes. “Remember that time I was at Julia's and we were texting you? I was pretending to come on to you, and I just want to make sure that you know it was just a joke and I'm sorry for doing that to you.”

He glanced at me and said, "Yeah, I believe you. I didn't even think it sounded like you. But thanks for clearing that up.”

"If I told you something, would you keep it a secret? Even if you don't like what I’m about to say?"

He crunched his forehead and tilted his head to one side. I smiled as I thought how cute he looked.

"You can trust me, I'm your friend. I wouldn't even think about telling anyone." He said.

"I haven't been all that truthful to you. I've been lying to everyone, including myself. I wanted to fit in but now I realise I want to be myself."

The phone rang. Chris answered and handed it to me, "It's for you."

I hesitantly answered it. "Hello, Jamie speaking?"

"Hi, it's mum. I just wanted to say sorry for what happened."

"It's ok, I understand." I replied.

"Where are you at the moment?"

"I'm at a friends house for the night."

"Ok, just remember to be back in a day or two."

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked up at Chris, deep in thought.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long that it's been tearing me apart. I'm not sure whether you've picked up on it or have even been convinced by me that it wasn't true. You can probably almost guess what it is now..."

I couldn't bring myself to look up at him but I could feel him watching my every move. I paused for a moment.

"I really don't know how I could get so emotional over this. But to cut a long story short... I'm gay."

Silence filled the room.

I stood up and moved towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Chris asked.

"I can sleep in the lounge if you want me to." I replied.

"No, it's okay. Stay here, seriously."

I hovered at the door for a few seconds before turning around, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand as I stared at the floor.

"When I first met you, you were just a guy I knew... as I got to know you I…I developed feelings for you. I just thought you might want to know that. But don't worry, those feelings don't exist as they did before."

Chris was silent the whole time.

I felt him staring into my soul. I lost myself in his hypnotic blue eyes.

"A quick question. Have you ever given a blow job before?" He asked, almost comically.

"No I haven't actually. Why do you ask?"

"Do you want to?" He asked seriously. I wasn't quite sure where this was headed.

"Are you offering yourself to me?" I couldn't believe what was happening.

"The offer’s there if you wish to accept." He said, smiling at me.

"Are you sure you want me to do this? You’re my friend, and it could come between us." I said hesitantly.

"We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it." He said, motioning with his finger for me to move closer.

"Wait a minute. Are you saying you're gay too?" I asked.

"I'm just curious." He laughed quietly, which made me smile.

"Remember, it's my first time. Don't expect me to be perfect at it just because I'm gay."

"I won't hold anything against you. Unless you cause excessive damage, which you will have to pay for." We both laughed.

I knelt in front of him, loosened his belt, unzipping and removing his trousers, then removed his shirt. My package hardening.

I ran my hand from his shoulder to his thigh and brushed my lips against his briefs. I slowly edged them down to his knees, revealing his manhood, something I would have only dreamed of seeing before now.

Adding plenty of saliva to my mouth, I ran my tongue along the length of his penis, beginning what was a glorious 10 minutes of my life.
His breathing quickened and he groaned with pleasure, his cock throbbed in my mouth as I ran my tongue up and down his shaft, right down to his musky smelling pubic hairs. He groaned louder, pulled me deeper into his arms…

And suddenly I stopped. I stopped before he came and looked up at him. “Do you want to cum or...? Although it would be a nice... what do you call it?’

“Climax?"

"Yeah."

"Nar, you did a great job by the way." He said, smiling at me.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." I stood up, he patted the bed and I sat beside him. He was all naked, except for his chequered black socks. The moonlight shining lightly through the curtains reflecting on his toned body.

He gazed deep into my eyes and said, "I lied before."

He slid his hands under my t-shirt, lifted it over my head, and placed it on the floor.

He surprised me. A good surprise.

My heart beat out of my chest as he removed my belt and trousers. Leaning forward, his lips touched mine. His hands explored my body, my skin tingled with every touch as he removed my underwear, and cupped my package in the palms of both hands.

"Are you liking this?" He asked me.

"I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather be doing than being here with you."

That only made him more excited and passionate.

I lay down. His mouth find it's way around my body, finding all my sensitive spots. He was good at giving pleasure. Bringing himself to my level, he kissed me, and we lay cuddled up and kissing for the better part of the night.

Chris pulled the blankets off the bed and lay one sheet on top of us, and we lay together, enjoying each other’s bodies before we fell asleep.

The next morning he was still lying next to me. He wasn't awake yet so I cuddled up to him, remembering the events of the night before and smiled to myself. All the worries of the world had been lifted off my shoulders in one night. A night I will remember for the rest of my life.

A loud knock at the door woke us up. We lay together, listening to our surroundings; birds chirping, vehicles driving past on the highway, cattle and sheep in the distance.

There was a loud knock at the door, followed by footsteps in the hallway.

I removed myself from the bed and dressed. Chris, in his underwear sat at the edge of the bed, staring at me curiously.

My worst possible nightmare was brought to life.

Dad’s voice was loud and clear from beyond the door. Shouting. Asking after me.

"Hide in the wardrobe." Chris suggested.

"I don't think even Narnia could save me now." I said, bracing myself for impact.

Silence.

Slow footsteps approached the door.

A loud knock echoed through the room. "Jamie, where are you? We need to talk!"

It was Dad. He sounded furious.

Chris frantically tried pulling on his trousers just as the door swung open.
Dad stood in the doorway, red in the face, breathing like he had just run a marathon. His eyes scanned the room and stopped at the sight of Chris wildly trying to dress.

"You're a fucking queer aren't you?! The both of you?!" He face turned maroon. Veins popped up at his temples.

"What the fuck gives you the right to harass my wife then come here and fuck this queer cunt?!"

He moved towards me. I was glued to the spot.

"You know where people like you should be?! Buried deep in the ground where you can't contaminate our fucking human race!"

He gave me a strong sharp blow to the nose, and another to my jaw that lifted me off my feet. I fell to the floor and he landed a hefty kick to my ribs, winding me.

"Who the hell do you think you are treating your bloody son like that?!" Chris yelled.

“Stop Chris. Please. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” I implored him.

"I'm his father, that's who I am! Although at the moment he is no son of mine." He spat through his teeth.

I glanced over at Chris. There was something burning in his eyes I had never seen before. I watched him leap forward and tackle my dad in the chest.

I yelled out as Chris' attack was rebounded and he hurtled through the air and crashed to the floor. My dad walked over and spat on him.

I couldn’t risk getting up.

"That'll teach you to not prance around, you fucking queers." He said.

* * *

A gun cocked at the doorway.

I spun about to see Chris' dad with a double-barrelled gun in his hand aimed at my dad.

"Lets take this outside and wait for the cops to arrive shall we?" Chris’ dad poked the gun at him. As he walked from the room he spat once again on Chris as he walked past.

I crawled over to Chris, checking if he was okay. I wiped my dads saliva from his face as I held his hand. Tears streaming from my eyes.

"I am so sorry." I managed to say through my sobbing. My ribs hurt as I breathed in.

"Don't be stupid. I'd take a bullet for you any day." He said, smiling a crooked smile. I laughed then winced with pain. Chris helped me onto the bed and covered me with a blanket just before his mum came to check if he was all right. She was also crying. She had not yet seen me lying in the bed and she quickly escorted him from the room to clean him up, despite the protests.

Sirens approached the house as several police vehicles and an ambulance showed up. The ambulance staff were the first to find me. I insisted on not going to hospital and told them everything that had happened. I'm going to be repeating that story quite a few times.

After the police and ambulance had left, we were alone in his room. His parents and brother with my mum back in town. I was left with no serious injuries although it would take me a few weeks to fully recover.

Chris left the room and returned a few minutes later with a bowl of hot pumpkin soup.

I thanked him and we sat in silence as I gulped it down. Suddenly, I wept. Chris cradled me in his arms until I stopped sobbing. I lay down on the bed and fell quickly to sleep with Chris keeping an eye on me from the couch.

I felt safe. Like nothing could touch me.