Bella - 1. Chapter 1

Bella

 

Bella grinned with her mouth full of cake. She gave Jim the thumbs up. He smiled back and agreed. They had decided on the flavor of their wedding cake. Once they finished with the baker they met Jim's mother for a light lunch. It was a warm day and the sky was a royal blue. Jim's mother sat at the outdoor table like a queen reigning over a garden party. She was very pleased with her son. It was time for him to get married and give her some grandchildren.

Jim was initially disgusted with the idea but he had found a kindred spirit in Bella. She came from the same kind of traditional family and her parents were just as insistent that she find a nice boy and settle down. Facing the problem together made marriage seem like less of a prison sentence.

Bella was smiling as she defended her favorite hat against the breeze. The hat was uniquely hers. It had a wide rim and was a cheerful blue. I framed her face perfectly. Jim watched her thinking that she would make the perfect wife for him if only he could fall in love with her.

He was roused from his thoughts by Bella announcing that they better leave if they did not want to be late. Their next appointment was at the church. No one on either side of the family was very religious but a wedding at the court house just would not do.

They walked into the little church. From the outside it was a simple structure of gray stone but on the inside it was a work of art. The floor was made of imported marble. The ceiling was high and appeared to be supported by gothic arches. Narrow stained glass windows reached for the sky. From the outside they had looked dark but inside they filled the space with a rainbow of light. It gave the church a wonderfully surreal quality. They walked down the isle with the priest discussing plans for who would sit where and where flowers could be placed.

The magical feeling lasted only as long as they were in the church. As soon as they walked outside their ears were assaulted by the sound of Friday rush hour traffic. Bella had an appointment to look at dresses. She gave Jim a quick hug and marched off to her car. Jim went to his car.

An hour later he was back in his apartment having a drink with his best friend Matt.

"So you're really going to go through with this?" asked Matt.

"Yeah, what else am I supposed to do?" answered Jim

"You could tell the truth."

"Oh yeah. Do you have any idea how my mother would take it? It was bad enough when she lost my father. I can't put her through this."

"What about Bella? Doesn't she deserve better?"

"Bella didn't want to get married either. Her family is just like mine."

"Is she gay too?" asked Matt.

"I...I don't know," Jim answered considering the possibility for the first time.

"Does she know you are?"

"Sometimes I think she does."

"Do you think that maybe those are things you should know before you walk down the isle," said Matt in a sarcastic tone.

"I'll talk to her," said Jim looking at his friend's frustrated expression.

"When?"

"Tomorrow. After the rehearsal. Don't be mad."

"I'm not. I just don't want you to screw up your life."

The following day Jim asked Bella if they could talk but Bella had a errand to take care of. Jim tried to get her alone the following day but whenever it seamed like they would have a moment together someone would show up or a phone would ring. Jim kept putting off the conversation to the following day until the night before the wedding.

"I am so scared," he said quietly looking at the floor.

"Why didn't you tell her?" asked Matt.

"I tried but I could never get her alone and I couldn't talk in front of family."

"You know, you don't have to go through with this," said Matt putting a hand on Jim's shoulder.

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"I do. Everything's paid for and everyone's coming."

"To hell with everyone. This is about your happiness."

Jim sat quietly looking out a window as the light faded outside. The idea of backing out seemed reasonable for a moment. The thought was the only thing that allowed him to sleep.

The next day his conversation with Matt seemed like a dream. He was going to get married for better or worse. As he dressed he tried to convince himself that everything would be fine. On the surface everything was fine. He was dressed and on time. He knew his lines. What could go wrong?

As he entered the church he could hear the traffic of the busy street. The church doors were propped open and the sound echoed off the walls. As Jim was about to take his place he heard the sound of tires screeching and a few load crashes. For a moment everyone in the church froze. Then they rushed to the door. Outside a crowd had already gathered around three recked cars. Jim could hear some horrified gasps. As he got closer he could see some of the damage. The accident did not look that bad. When he finally got close enough he saw what people were reacting to. Bella had been struck by one of the cars while crossing the street. She was laying on the ground face down. Jim approached her slowly. He put his hand on her back to see if she would respond. He did not dare to turn her over. An ambulance arrived shortly but it was too late. She had died instantly.

A week later Jim was dressing for a funeral in the house that he and Bella were supposed to share. The house was new and there was still some work to be done. The contractor had promised them that the work would be finished by the time they got back from their honeymoon. It was a week after the wedding day and there were still unpainted walls and a hall way with no electricity. The wall sconces had been installed but they hung there useless, like roosting batts.

Jim sighed as he walked out to his car. The house was too big for one person. Without Bella it felt empty and lonely.

Jim found himself crying at the funeral. He was usually not an emotional man. The feeling of wet tears on his cheeks took him by surprise. He realized how happy Bella had made him. Ironically it had not occurred to him that he had some feelings for her until she was dead.

After the funeral, Jim went back to his new home. He spent the afternoon aimlessly watching the television. Time passed and long shadows entered the house through the tall windows. Jim walked down the gloomy hallway to his bedroom. He sat down on the bed that was designed to be shared by two people and felt very alone. There was a small framed picture of Bella on one of the night stands. Jim picked it up and looked into her blue eyes. "I wish you were here," he whispered.

That night he slept with Bella's picture in his hand. The following morning he felt just as lonely as he had the night before. He would have given anything to see her again. Slowly Jim lifted himself from the bed and started his day. He made himself breakfast and turned on the radio. It was Sunday and most of the stations had something religious on. He searched through the stations hoping to find some music. The closest thing he could find was a station that alternated between taking phone calls and playing songs.

At first Jim ignored the conversations being broadcast but after a while he realized that the callers were all talking about dead friends and relatives. Many of them recounted stories of the deceased visiting them in their dreams or occasionally in person. Jim thought of Bella. He could still smell her perfume in the house even though she had only brought a few of her things over before the wedding. He imagined what it would be like to see her again.

As the day went on, Jim's mind kept coming back to the idea that the dead were not entirely out of reach. He kept telling himself that it was a stupid idea and that the dead do not come back. Still, he could not let go of the thought. To distract himself he began to unpack his belongings. He decided he would make the house look the way Bella would have liked it. He opened cardboard boxes and arranged dishes in the kitchen and hung pictures on the walls that were already painted.

He made a note to himself to call the electrician on Monday and get some paint for the rooms that were only primed. The painters had charged a fortune and Jim felt like he should do some of the work himself. It would be better for him than sitting around feeling helpless. As he looked at his long gray hallway trying to imagine it different colors he heard the phone rang.

It was his friend Matt calling to check on him.

"How are you?" asked Matt.

"You know, I'm trying to unpack and get settled," answered Jim.

"You looked really devastated at the funeral yesterday. I tried calling you but I think your phone was off."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to charge it. I just can't stop thinking about her."

"You two would have been happy, as friends anyway."

"It's more than that," answered Jim.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I love her."

"What?"

"I fell in love with her"

"You were never attracted to women. I think you're confused," said Matt trying not to sound too patronizing.

"No. I know what I feel," said Jim slightly annoyed at his friend, "I slept the whole night holding her picture."

"Are you attracted to her?"

"Well, yeah. She was beautiful. You saw her," said Jim.

The words sounded strange even to his ears.

"I know she was beautiful and you slept with her picture in your hand but are you really turned on by her? Did you dream about her?"

"Yeah, I did dream about her."

"Was it good?"

"Matt! My wife just died. Why does everything have to be a big dirty joke to you?"

"It's not a dirty joke. I just find it hard to believe that you suddenly turned straight."

"Well believe it."

There was a long and awkward silence. Finally, Matt ended the call saying that he would be happy to help if Jim needed anything.

Jim went back to unpacking. He picked up a box labeled "storage." His apartment had been small and he had rented a storage space to keep some of the items he did not want to get rid of but did not use very day. He opened the box and looked inside for the first time in years. Inside he found some old books. He stacked them up along a wall. He would get a book case for them later. He and Bella had been planing to get a book case for months.

When he got to the bottom of the box he found a flat cardboard box that had been placed under all the books. He pulled it out and read the label. "Spirit Board."

Someone had gotten it for him when he was a child but he had never played with it. At the time it seemed a little too spooky. He turned the box over and wondered if it was just a coincidence that he found it a few hours after hearing the broadcast on the radio. He put the box down on the coffee table slowly and went back to unpacking.

That evening he sat outside on the second story balcony watching the sun set and the stars come out. He tried to make sense of all that was happening to him. He did have feelings for Bella but he wondered if Matt was right. Maybe it was just shock and grief. In any case he knew he would give almost anything to see Bella again. They had dated for a year and in that time they had become close friends.

That night Jim lay in bed with the lights on. He looked at Bella's photo. He remembered how he had kissed her. He had always been thinking about men. He had always been imagining someone else because he assumed that he would not like kissing her. Maybe he should have given her a chance. The thought made him sad. He looked at her happy expression in the photo. She was holding a flower in one hand and giving the photographer a thumbs up with the other. The thumbs up was her preferred way of expressing her approval.

Jim pressed his lips to the small photo and then held it to his chest. For a moment he looked like a lovesick school boy. He closed his eyes and imagined being close to her. Matt could say anything he wanted. Jim knew that he was in love.

The next day Jim had to go back to work. It was not easy being back at the office. Every well meaning co worker offered his of her condolences. Jim thanked them but every conversation was like a stab to the heart. By the time he came home Jim felt like he had gone to a thousand funerals. He sat down in his living room and put his hands over his face. He sat for a few minutes. Then he looked up. In front of him was the box with the spirit board. He picked it up and read the instructions.

The board was was meant to be used by a larger group but would work with just a pair of people. They would hold their hands on a small pointer which would move across a larger board with letters and numbers on it, if a sprit were contacted. Jim opened the box and pulled out the board. He wondered if it would work for just one person. Then he became angry with himself for wanting to believe that it would work at all.

He left the board on the table and went to the kitchen. He got some microwave pizza out of the freezer and put it in the microwave. It did not look appetizing and did not taste good either. Jim got a beer out of the fridge hoping that it would make his dinner more edible. It helped a little.

After dinner Jim went back to the living room and stared at the board. He felt stupid looking at it. He decided he would try to use it just to prove to himself that it did not work. He sat down in front of the table and put his hands on the pointer and felt his pulse quicken. It would not work, he told himself. Then he wondered what would happen if it did.

"Is anyone here?" he asked.

The silence was almost palpable. He sat and waited but nothing happened.

"Does anyone want to talk to me?"

Nothing happened.

"Bella? Are you here?"

He sat for a few minutes and lifted his hands from the pointer. As he let go of it he thought he felt it move. He froze with his fingers just above it. It did not move. He decided that he must have pushed it. The he heard a whisper. Someone had whispered his name.

"Hello? Is someone here?"

No one answered. Jim sat on the couch for the next ten minutes watching the room but nothing more happened. He wondered if it had all been his imagination.

Later that night he had a hard time getting to sleep. He wondered if he had really heard something. Could it really have been Bella? Eventually he did fall asleep. In his dream he saw Bella. She was near him but the room had filled with a thick fog and he could not see her well.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Did you miss me?" she asked sitting on the bed next to him.

"Yes" he answered.

As she leaned closer Jim felt a strange dread as if the woman next to him was not Bella but some imposter wanting to do him harm.

"Don't be nervous," she said.

Her voice sounded strange but Jim had missed her and decided not to question it. She leaned down to kiss him. Her lips were cold but the sensation was pleasant. Jim put his arms around her. She would be his finally. He stroked her cold skin knowing that if he just held her close long enough it would warm up and everything would be normal again.

The alarm clock woke him up. He could still feel her cold body on him. His body was warm and damp. He was breathing hard and his heart was pounding. After staring at the ceiling for a moment he pulled himself out of bed.

His second day at work was a little better. Only a few people brought up Bella and he had plenty to keep him busy. When he came home in he did not feel as depressed as the day before. He went to the living room and looked at the spirit board. He put his hands on the pointer.

He sat very still and quietly said "Bella?"

The pointer gave a small twitch.

"Bella is that you?" he asked.

This time nothing happened. He tried to talk to her again but got no response. He remembered the instructions on the box. He really should have had at least one more person there. Maybe if there were two people there would be more of a response.

"Maybe I should call Matt," he said aloud.

The pointer made a small movement as if it wanted to move towards the word "Yes."

Jim sat frozen and watching but nothing more happened. He get his phone out of his pocket and called Matt. Matt answered on the second ring.

"Hey Matt, do you have some time?" asked Jim.

"Yeah, listen I'm sorry about the last time we talked."

"Its OK."

"No, its not OK. I was being a jerk."

"You weren't."

"I was."

"Do you want to come over?"

"Yeah."

Half an hour later they were sitting in the kitchen taking.

"You know that comment about your dream was wrong. I had no right to say that," apologized Matt, "I think I was a little scared."

"Of what?"

"Of loosing you. You have been my best friend since we were eleven and somehow I thought that if you liked women, things would be different."

"You'll always be my friend," reassured Jim, "and you had a point about the dream, but I have had dreams about her and ... they were those kind of dreams."

"Well maybe something has changed for you or maybe you are discovering something about yourself that was always there. Anyway, you can always talk to me."

"Actually, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about," said Jim looking a little anxious.

"Alright. What is it?"

"Do you know what a spirit board is?"

"Is that another word for ouija board?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Jim, you know that's just a game," said Matt, a look of concern now washing over him.

"Something happened. I saw it move."

"Those things move because everyone's hands shake just a little."

"My hands weren't touching it."

They sat looking at each other for a few minutes. Their eyes locked as each tried to guess the other's thoughts. Finally Jim spoke.

"You said you would help me. I need you to help me with this."

"Alright, but promise me that you won't expect too much."

"I promise," said Jim and led the way to the living room.

They sat on either side of the board. Each put his fingers on an edge of the pointer. They looked at each other over the board and both took a deep breath. Then Jim said "Is anyone here?"

At first nothing happened and Matt looked at Jim not sure what to do. "I'm sorry," he said in a near whisper.

"Bella?" Jim asked, "Are you here?"

The pointer moved. It turned to point to the word "Yes."

Matt recoiled. He knew that this was not the imagination of a grieving spouse and it scared him.

"Put you hands back," Jim said, "please."

Reluctantly Matt returned his hands to the board. His fingers were centimeters from Jim's but their thought were light years apart. Jim was looking around the room. A smile touched the corners of his mouth.

"Bella, I miss you. Will I ever see you again?" he asked.

The pointer once again moved, pointing more emphatically to the "Yes."

The room was now starting to get cold and the lights seemed to dim. Matt shivered but he kept his hands on the pointer.

"Bella, do you love me?" asked Jim.

The pointer moved once more. It spelled out "I do."

"I love you too," answered Jim.

The pointer moved again. It spelled out. "Tired now. Talk soon."

"That's alright. You go ahead and rest," answer Jim.

Finally Jim noticed his friend trembling.

"Are you alright, Matt?" asked Jim.

"Yeah, its just really cold. Can we go in the yard?"

"Yeah, good idea."

They walked outside. Jim was smiling. Matt looked worried.

"What is it?" asked Jim.

"Are you sure that was Bella? The way she made me so cold. It doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem like her."

"Matt, she died. Somethings are going to be different now but she's here with me. That's what's important." answered Jim.

"I hope you're right. If you need anything. If anything doesn't feel right call me, OK?"

"Alright."

"Day or night."

"Day or night."

When Matt left that night he gave Jim a long hug. He was concerned and confused.

Jim was happy. He dreamed about Bella again that night. She was in her bridal gown with the veil over her face. Jim took her hand and slipped the wedding ring on her finger. She embraced him. She was cold as ice.

"I'm so cold. Please hold me," she said.

Jim held her close and rubbed her back. She pressed her body against him and it felt wonderful despite the cold.

The next afternoon Jim tried the spirit board again by himself. It worked better now. He exchanged some small talk with Bella and as before the room got cold. After their conversation he had dinner and a few hours later he got ready for bed. He wasn't tired but he was hoping to dream about her again. For a while he sat on his bed and red. After an hour he had to use the restroom so he got up and went into the unlit hallway. He left his bedroom door open to let some light in. He looked down the hall and for a moment thought he saw something moving. Then it was gone. He stood and listened for a few minutes. He heard nothing and proceeded to the restroom.

The following day Jim could not wait to get home to the spirit board. As he walked into the house he noticed that it was cold. He was sure he had turned the air conditioner off before he left but it felt as if he had set it to a lower temperature. He did not stop to check the temperature. Instead he went directly to the living room and put his hands on the pointer. "Bella, are you here?" he asked.

"Yes." answered the board.

"Where exactly are you?"

This time the pointer did not move. Instead he felt her hand on his shoulder. He put his over hers. The simple touch of her hand was so much more than he had hope for and something he had desperately wanted. He wished it would last forever. They stayed in this position for a few minutes until she finally let go. He could tell that the room had gotten colder. He told her he loved her and wished her a good evening assuming that she needed her rest.

As the days went by, Bella would hold his hand or stroke his back and talk to him through the spirit board. A week and a half after their first conversation, Jim was going through the dim hall way to his bedroom when he saw a white figure standing at the opposite end. He froze in place and looked at it. After a moment he recognized the shape of Bella's wedding dress. He dared not move expecting her to dissolve into thin air any second.

After a few seconds he realized that she was not going anywhere. He took a step down the hall and then another. As he walked down the hall he never took his eyes off of her. The dark hallway grew progressively colder as he walked and he noticed a smell. It was vaguely familiar but faint. Something about the atmosphere in the hallway made him uncomfortable but he pushed the thought away as he embraced his veiled bride. She stayed in his arms for a moment and then disappeared.

When he went back to his room Jim felt drained of energy. He went to bed and fell asleep.

The following weekend Jim met Matt at a coffee shop. Jim told Matt all about his encounters with Bella. Matt listened to his account.

"Jim, are you sure you're not imaging all this?" asked Matt

"Yes! How could I imagine all this?" answered Jim as he tried to read Matt's expression.

"I don't know. Its just so weird and I don't really know what to think," answered Matt scratching his head.

"Come over to my place. I'll show you."

Matt accepted the invitation and after taking care of some errands he arrived at Jim's home. It was a beautiful afternoon. The sky was clear and blue and the air was warm. As Matt walked up the red brick path leading to Jim's front door he took a deep breath. He savored the smell of early fall. In a few weeks the leaves would be changing color and it would be getting cold but right now it was perfect.

Matt looked at the front of Jim's house. It was painted a warm cream color and the windows and doors had a pleasant green trim. It looked inviting. "There's no way this place is haunted," he said quietly as he reached for the doorbell.

As soon as Jim opened the door, Matt knew something was not right. He was greeted with a burst of cold air that had obviously been under some pressure.

"Hey Jim. You should get your AC checked out. It shouldn't be building pressure like that," Matt said trying to sound pleasant.

"That's not the AC," said Jim as he led the way inside.

Jim was shocked to discover that Matt was running the heater. Matt put his hand up to a vent and felt warm air coming out but somehow the house was still cold. He looked around the living room and could not understand why it seemed so dark.

"Did you change the lighting in here?" Matt asked.

"No," answered Jim as he took his place by the spirit board.

"It looks dark in here."

Jim motioned to Matt to sit down. Matt sat and put his hands on the pointer. For a moment they sat like two perfectly symmetric statues waiting for something to happen. Then Jim asked "Are you here Bella?"

The pointer immediately pointed to "Yes." Matt pulled his hands away from it immediately. Jim took one of his hands and pulled it back.

"Its alright. It's just Bella," he said in a calm soothing voice.

Jim's hand felt cool and Matt wondered if it was just the result of staying in a cold room for too long or if there was something wrong.

"Bella can you hear me?" asked Jim.

There was a slight movement in the air. Jim was looking around the room. Matt's eyes were focussed on Jim. He gasped as he saw the black outline of a hand appear over Jim's shoulder. The hand descended and rested on Jim's shoulder. It became more than an outline and more like a solid object. Matt looked at it intently and saw that it had claws. They were not Bella's manicured finger nails. They were animal like. As the hand caressed Jim's shoulder, Jim closed his eyes. His faced filled with a look of pure pleasure as the sharp claws came dangerously close to his neck.

"Jim," whispered Matt hoping to get him out of his trance.

Jim opened his eyes but his expression was still that of one lost in a drug induced ecstasy. He was breathing fast and his pupils were dilated. His veins bulged engorged with his hot blood. Matt called Jim again trying to pull him out of his unnaturally aroused state.

"Huh?" asked Jim as if he had completely forgotten that Matt was there.

"Can we go outside for a while?" Matt asked.

"What?"

"I'm cold. Can we go out and warm up?"

"Yeah, sure," answered Jim as if some one had just woken him up.

They walked outside and walked over to a small table that Bella had set up a few months ago. They sat in the chairs and looked at each other.

"That hand," was all Matt could say at first.

"Yeah, it was so great -"

"It was not great. Jim, that was not Bells'a hand."

"What do you mean?" asked Jim in a voice that sounded more awake and alert.

"Jim, it had claws and it was so black," explained Matt shivering from the memory.

"Matt, she's dead. Things are a little different now but I'm sure she did not have claws."

"You're not listening! It was not her."

"Yes it was."

"Look Jim, you have been my best friend since we were eleven. You were the only one who understood me. We always helped each other. Now I'm afraid for you. I want you to be happy, with whoever you want to marry, but that thing in your house is not Bella."

As soon as he said the words, Matt regretted being so honest. He could tell that Jim was angry from the look on his face.

"You know what the problem is? You don't want me to be with Bella because you don't want to lose your gay buddy. You want to have someone you can whine to about how unfairly people treat you. You need to cry to someone about how your brother called you a fag and your dad ignores you and a straight guy just wouldn't understand! Well that's too bad! I don't know how it happened but I'm in love with a woman."

"That's not a woman! Thats a ... I don't know what it is."

"My wife is not an 'It!'" screamed Jim, "You need to leave. Just go."

With that he got up and went back into the house. Matt sat in the yard for a few minutes and then left.

As soon as Jim walked into his house he forgot about the argument. It did not matter any more. He had Bella. He spent the day painting the hall way. He was surprised when Bella asked him to paint it black but he did not question her. The hours passed quickly as he rolled the tarry black liquid on the walls. When he finally finished the job it was sunset. The red light coming in from the bedroom windows made the walls look bloody. Jim wondered about Bella's change in taste. She had originally wanted the hallway to be a warm cream color.

That night Jim opened his window and went to bed. He closed the hallway door partly to keep the smell of paint out and partly because he did not want to look into what felt like an endless black abyss. He kissed Bella's picture goodnight and quickly fell asleep.

Hours later he awoke to a strange sensation. He felt a cold weight on top of him. It was shifting slightly as if it were alive. Jim opened his eyes. In the first gray light of day he saw Bella sitting on top of him. She was still dressed in he wedding gown and had the veil over her face.

"Bella," he whispered reaching up to touch her. She felt cold. He could feel her hands rubbing his chest.

"I guess this is what our honeymoon should have been like," he whispered and reached for her veil.

She moved a little on top of him and he relaxed. He wondered if her abilities to make him feel good were the result of her death. Maybe the vampire movies he had seen on tv were right. Maybe some things were better after death. He felt her hand move across his chest again and took it in his. Then he remembered what Matt had said. The hand did not feel like Bella's. For the first time he started to feel scared. He reached up and grabbed her veil. He lifted it up and saw the ugly truth.

The thing sitting on him was not Bella. It was not human. Its skin was black as cole and covered with lesions that were rotting more than healing. The monster looked at him with sickly yellow eyes. It licked its rotting teach with a very dead looking tounge. Its breath was putrid. Jim started gagging. He pushed the daemon off of him and ran. Somehow he had the presence of mind to grab his keys and phone on the way out the door.

He got in his car and started driving. He didn't have a destination in mind. He just drove aimlessly around town. When he had calmed down a little he noticed a familiar building up the road. It was the church where he was supposed to be married and the church that had held Bella's funeral. It stained glass windows were ablaze with the morning sun Which passed clear through the building. It stood out like a beacon for the lost.

Jim pulled over his car and walked up to the door feeling a little more at peace. He pulled on the cast iron door handle but the building was locked. He slumped down on the steps in front of the church and wondered if he really deserved to come in. Did he have to repent for something? Maybe he had to admit his dishonesty or stupidity? Maybe he would be sent home for showing up in his pajamas.

Finally Jim decided to call Matt. Matt was still asleep and not very happy to be woken up but he listened.

"I'm so sorry, Matt. You were right. It wasn't Bella. It never was her. She's gone and something else is in my home. Something awful."

"What happened?"

"Something attacked me."

"What?"

"It was awful."

"Where are you?"

"At the church."

Matt told him to stay put and promised to get there right away. When he arrived he found Jim sitting on the steps like a lost child.

"Are you alright?" asked Matt as he ascended the steps.

"No. There is something in my house. It's not Bella. I thought it was but it isn't."

"I know but its going to be alright."

"That thing touched me."

"It didn't hurt you, did it?"

"It looked like the devil."

"Did it hurt you?"

"Its breath was like rotting meat."

"Did it hurt you?"

"Matt, I slept with it."

They looked at each other in silence. Matt sat down next to Jim and put an arm around his shoulders. Then they heard footsteps coming up the walk way. It was the priest who had presided over Bella's funeral instead of her wedding. He came to the steps and asked what was wrong.

He let them inside and Jim told him what had happened. The priest offered to bless the house and they agreed on a day and time. Then Matt took Jim to his home. It was not big but it was safe. Jim stayed with Matt for the next few days as they awaited the blessing. Neither one of them brought up the up the haunting. It was still to frightening to talk about.

On Wednesday afternoon Jim, Matt, and Father Joe went to the house. It was cold and dark inside and the spirit put up a fight. As soon as Father Joe started praying the sound of claws inside the walls echoed through the house. It sounded like it was coming from all directions. It escalated to a violent banging. The walls shook hard enough to knock pictures off walls leaving Jim and Bella's memories shattered on the floor.

They could hear dishes breaking in the kitchen and what sounded like cloth being violently torn. As the prayers continued they could hear something walking around them clicking its claws on the floor. They could feel its putrid breath on their skin. Things fell off of shelves and shattered but they persisted. The unseen entity growled and screamed. The cold hands that had once caressed Jim's back now savagely slashed his skin with their claws.

Eventually it was quiet. Father Joe put down the prayer book and Matt tended to Jim's wounds. His warm hands cleaned and patched what the cold dead ones had wounded.

Later that evening Jim and Matt had a late dinner at Matt's home.

"I'm sorry," Jim said as they were eating.

"For w

"For accusing you of lying to me just to keep me from loving Bella," explained Jim.

"That's alright, and you did have a point. I didn't want you to be straight. You were the first boy I ever liked and I felt like I was losing something."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried but then we became such good friends I was afraid to mess that up."

"When did you try to tell me?"

"Do you remember when we were sixteen and kissed each other in your aunt's basement? I asked you if you liked it?"

"Yeah but then my uncle came in."

"Yeah, he scared us too."

They both laughed at the memory. After the laughter died out, they ate in comfortable silence for a minute. Then Jim said "Yes."

"What?"

"I thought you would like your question answered finally. Yes, I liked kissing you."

Matt smiled and said "Thanks."

The moment was becoming awkward so they changed the subject.

On Thursday night they went back to Jim's house to clean up the mess. It was especially hard for Jim to go back. He dreaded going in but when they opened the door and found the temperature pleasantly warm he felt better. They began to pick up the objects the spirit had knock of of shelves and pushed out of cabinets. They swept up broken glass on the first floor and were about to go up to the second when Jim saw something moving out of the corner of his eye. He turned around and his heart sank.

"Matt, look!"

Matt looked in the direction Jim was pointing and saw the pointer of the spirit board moving on its own.

"Let's get out," he said feeling the panic rising inside.

They ran outside and to Jim's car.

"What now?" asked Jim.

"We have to talk to Father Joe."

They drove to the church and found Father Joe in the adjacent residence. They explained their problem and the priest listened.

"Spirits don't always give up easily," explained Father Joe, "We will have to try again."

"I'm so sorry," said Jim, "I thought I loved her and she loved me back."

"My friend, that is not love," answered Father Joe, "You wanted to trap her in that house for your own benefit. Don't you want her to be in a better place?"

"Yes, I do," answered Jim and he meant it.

"Then let her go."

The following day Father Joe was back at Jim's house for another blessing. He helped dispose of the spirit board and blessed the house. This time the spirit made less noise this time. Changing strategies, it imitated Bella's voice. The sound of the familiar voice nearly brought Jim to tears but he knew better than to respond. Eventually the spirit grew tired and became quiet. They were once again left with hope.

The peace lasted longer this time. Jim still did not move back in but he did get an electrician to finish the lighting. The hallway that had been a refuge for things that could not stand the light was now his. Matt joined him on the weekend to do a little cleaning upstairs. As they entered the hall way Matt saw it painted and with the lights on for the first time.

"Wow, all black," he said.

"I thought that was what she wanted," said Jim.

"That will take a few coats to cover up."

Jim nodded in agreement.

"So what do you plan to do with this place?" asked Matt.

"I think I will sell it. Too many bad memories, you know."

Later that day they began applying primer to the hall way. As they rhythmically dragged the rollers across the solid black Matt wondered if Jim still had any attachment to Bella.

"Do you love her?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," answered Jim.

Matt let out a disappointed sounding sigh.

"I don't mean in that weird obsessive way," explained Jim, "I really love her for being what she was. She was a good friend."

He paused for a moment and then added, with some sadness, "I hope she's happy even if I never see her again."

They painted in peace for another hour and then the house started to get cold again.

A few days later they had another visit from Father Joe. This time there was no fight. There were no objects moved and nothing fell from its shelf. Father Joe went through the entire house and blessed every room. Then he blessed Joe and Matt. After he was finished they thanked him.

"Thank you for doing this for us," said Matt, "You could have just walked away from guys like us."

"What do you mean?" asked Father Joe, "Is there something wrong with you?"

"We're gay," answered Matt.

"Oh. Both of you?" asked Father Joe.

"Yes," admitted Jim.

"Oh I see," said Father Joe raising an eyebrow, "Well, there is no reason for me to turn my back on you."

"I thought God was supposed to hate gays," said Matt.

"God would not make anything he could not love," answered Father Joe.

That evening peace settled over the house. It felt so comfortable inside that Jim and Matt hesitated a little before leaving. They returned a few days later to finish painting the hall way. It took several coats of primer just to cover the black paint. It was evening before they had finished.

After the paint was applied they opened all the windows on the second floor to ventilate the space. The last room they went to was Jim bedroom. There was a large window and a door to the balcony. A warm breeze was intermittently rustling the leaves outside. Jim stepped out on the balcony and Matt followed him. The balcony looked out over the city. The multicolored city lights looked like jewels just out of reach. A thin crescent moon hung over them signaling the beginning of the lunar month.

As he gazed over the city, Jim felt Matt's hand on his shoulder.

"How are you?" asked Matt.

"I'm alright, except for a back ache," answered Jim.

He felt Matt's fingers rub his shoulders. "Its actually my lower back," he said.

Matt moved his hands to Jim's waist. The warmth of Matts's fingers seemed to penetrate deep into Jim's body. Jim felt the pain melt away as pleasure took its place. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Are you ok?" asked Matt.

"Yeah." answered Jim as he turned around to face Matt.

For the first time in months he really looked at Matt. Jim's eyes lingered for a moment and then Jim took Matt's hand in his. "Thank you," Jim said in a quiet voice.

"For what?" asked Matt.

"For being there. For putting up with all this. For rubbing my back even though yours probably hurts as bad."

"That's what friends do," said Matt giving Jim a smile.

"Matt, do you remember when we kissed in my aunt's basement?"

"Yeah."

"Would you do do it again?"

"Yeah. Breaking into your aunt's basement in the middle of the night sounds like fun," answered Matt with a mischievous grin.

"That's not what I meant," said Jim putting his arms around Matt.

Matt returned his embrace and for a moment it was as if they were two young boys again. They nervously leaned toward each other and their lips touched for one magic moment. Then they parted and looked at each other.

"Matt, are you alright?" asked Jim seeing the pain in his face.

"Yeah, its just my back. Its sore just like yours."

"Why don't I massage it? You can lay on the bed if you like."

They went inside and Matt lay down and Jim began to rub his back.

"You might be more comfortable if you sit on my butt," Matt suggested, "You know, like the massage therapists do."

"Oh, right," answered Jim and got on top of Matt.

He started rubbing Matt's back again and thought, this is what my honeymoon should really have been like.

A few months later Jim and Matt were celebrating. Jim had decided not to sell his house. Matt had just moved in but they had not told anyone about their relationship. It was beyond the mental capacity of some of their relative to accept that two men could fall in love with each other. A year earlier Jim would have been horrified by the thought of keeping such a secret but in light off all they had been through it did not seem so important.

Looking over the candle lit dinner table Jim could not help smiling. Matt smiled back. Jim raised his glass and said "To us."

Matt raised his glass to meet Jim's. They were toasting a new beginning. There were still many unanswered questions. Who would they tell? Would they ever marry? The court would give them the license but they knew it was beyond Father Joe's ability to bless their union. Despite all the uncertainty in their future they were more happy then ever. They were out together on a beautiful evening having dinner at one of the best restaurants in town.

After dinner they decided to take a short walk outside the restaurant. In the summer the restaurant would have tables outside on a patio overlooking the city. That night the patio was empty but the view was breathtaking. Jim and Matt walked up to the rail that separated the patio from the steep drop below. As they looked out over the city Jim put his arm around Matt.

"I have never been more happy than I am with you," said Jim.

"You're so sweet," said Matt

"I mean it."

There was a sort pause.

"So much has changed in six months," mused Matt, "I feel like the rest of the world has to catch up. Do you think we'll ever be able to tell people?"

"Some of them," said Jim, "I don't think my mother will take it well but I will have to tell her."

"It's going to be alright," said Matt.

"You know what I wonder sometimes? I wonder what Bella would think," Jim said.

"I'm sure she would be happy for us," said Matt, "but right now its more important what you think."

"I think I love you," said Jim pulling Matt close to him and kissing him.

As they turned to continue their walk they realized they were not alone. A young woman was standing by the railing a short distance away. They might have not noticed her if she had been wearing a coat but she was only wearing a light summer dress and sandals. She was holding a wide rimmed hat in one hand and resting the other on the railing. She had clearly been watching them.

Realizing she had been caught she gave them a smile and a thumbs up. Then she turned and began to walk away. Jim and Matt exchanged confused looks. They followed her around the building assuming the patio would eventually lead to the parking lot. "Who was that?" asked Matt as they reached the end of the patio.

The patio did not lead to the parking lot or any other means of escape. The only way out was over the cliff on which the restaurant sat and yet the woman was gone. Jim and Matt did not bother to look down. They knew she would not be there.