Jump to content
    jian_sierra
  • Author
  • 11,141 Words
  • 2,582 Views
  • 4 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Family - 1. Chapter 1

I could not sleep. I gently sat up and rested my back against the headboard of the king-sized bed. My gaze immediately sought the guy that was sleeping next to me. A smile formed on my lips. Gawd he’s so beautiful. I found peace looking at his calm handsome face. I felt so lucky that I had him and that somehow he likes me too. I was about to stroke his hair but stopped myself just in time. Sometimes I just can’t seem to take my hands off of him.

I sighed a little loudly. Guiltily, I looked at Michael beside me. Good, he’s still asleep. With nothing much to do, my mind wandered on the scheduled flight that will transpire in just about six hours. I dreaded that flight not only because I hate flying but also because of our destination. We’re headed for my hometown to visit my family. Don’t jump to conclusions, I love my family and I’m in good terms with them. There’s just one problem, they don’t know I’m gay.

I knew long ago that I was gay but there was no point in admitting it to anyone mainly because I didn’t have someone before. I was a coward and so I made myself believe that just because I’m attracted to guys doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gay so naturally there was no reason for me to come out. Of course I can’t avoid the usual questions: Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Why are you not dating? Would you like me to set you up? All of which I always avoided answering. I made my family and friends believe that I was asexual, heck I almost believed it myself. All of that changed when I met Michael just nine months ago.

Michael is handsome but the truth is he could be the simplest looking person in the world and I’d still love him. He has an amazing personality and he makes me feel special. The good looks are just added bonus. Just a smile from him and I feel like every worry I have suddenly dissolve.

With a smile, I started remembering the day we met. I was out with friends for our weekly bowling night. I was enjoying the time with my friends, all of us laughing on how lousy we were and cheering whenever one of us did very well. I am not a really good bowling player but I do rather well. Usually, I had one of the highest scores among us which just goes to show how bad we were at it. But we were having fun while doing it which is the important thing. It was my turn to bowl when I spotted him on the lane to the right. His confidence was what made me notice him at first, which was evident in the way he carried himself. I almost cheered when he hit a strike. Not to be outdone, I hit a strike myself and my heart was beating so fast when I saw him giving me a thumb’s up. I took a seat, suddenly very aware of him. He was with his buddies that night and they were laughing and cheering and teasing each other almost as much as my own group. His laugh was deep and loud and somehow infectious. I knew that my friends would notice that I was suddenly silent so I tried to ignore him and focused my attention on my friends. But I still kept glancing at him every now and then and I even caught him glancing at me too and we just both smiled.

My friends and I were starting to get hoarse from all the teasing so I volunteered to get us all some drinks. I was in line for the concessionaire when I felt a hand brush lightly against my back. I turned around expecting to see one of my friends but I saw him instead. He was smiling, showing perfect white teeth. His eyes were on mine, searching. The truth was, I was feeling a little weak in the knees at that moment. I smiled weakly and began to turn around but he gently place his hand on my left shoulder. He then extended his right hand a few feet away from me.

“Michael.” He said in his deep melodious voice which in my opinion was perfect for him.

“J-John.” I stuttered. I felt so dumb. I just wanted to disappear right then and there. He was still smiling at me and surprisingly he still had my hand on his. I tried to take my hand from him which resulted to his smile broadening and his left eyebrow shooting up.

He looked so damn sexy and all I could do was stare. He finally let go of my hand and I looked at him confused. I missed the connection with him. My right hand was still awkwardly extended in front of him. He pointed behind me, I looked back and it was my turn to order. I was blushing the whole time I ordered the drinks. The guy in the counter was eyeing me suspiciously and then would look at Michael behind. I felt so embarrassed. The guy finished filling up my order and I started my way back to my friends laden with drinks.

“See you later, John.”

I did not dare look back, I just went straight ahead. My heart was beating so fast. I miraculously managed to bring the drinks to my friends without spilling any of them which is a feat for me considering that I was feeling a little weak in the knees. My friends got their own drinks and said a small thanks but did not notice that I was blankly staring into space. All of them except Clarice who was looking at me with a smile on her face. I barely just noticed her but when I fixed my gaze on her, she looked at someone behind me. I looked back and saw Michael. He gave me a wink. I looked horrified at Clarice but she had a kind smile for me and somehow I felt that she understood. I blushed and smiled and Clarice squeezed my hand. Clarice was one of my closest friends and she had always been caring and understanding.

I could not concentrate on the game after everything that happened which resulted in me paying for everything since the player with the lowest score always do, it’s an unspoken agreement. When everything was settled, I turned to go but stopped on my tracks. Michael was waiting for me in the front door. His buddies were nowhere in sight. My friends, unfortunately, were all present and they were motioning for me to hurry up. Some kept pointing at their watches, others were pretending to be asleep. I looked imploringly at Clarice and motioned with my head towards Michael. She immediately got what I was trying to say and she said something to my friends and one by one pushed them out of the front door. Vincent, the baby of the group being the youngest, was looking triumphantly towards me. I bet Clarice said that I was pissed at losing. I would have to talk to her about that. Vincent had always been the weakest in bowling and now that I lost to him, I won’t hear the end of it.

I moved towards Michael. Now that my friends were gone, I felt a little braver. I was tempted to pretend to ignore him but I was afraid of what he might try to do if I did that.

“Hey, I hope you’re not waiting for me because that would be just plain weird.” I teased.

“Oh?” He said with a mischievous smile on his face.

“So where are your buddies?” I said as I started looking around.

“I made them go before me. I wanted to ‘talk’ to this guy who caught my attention before I go home myself.”

“So where is this guy?” I asked innocently.

“He’s standing right before me.” He said with a wink.

“Let’s take a walk before people start to get suspicious.” I said, expressing my growing uneasiness at the stares that people were throwing at us.

We went outside and started walking silently. I kept sneaking glances at him. He was unusually serious. The way his handsome serious face was illuminated a bit by the moonlight made him more beautiful than he already is.

“So what did you want to ‘talk’ to me about?” I finally said after a very long silence which was a bit romantic as we were walking side by side.

“You thought it was you I wanted to ‘talk’ to?” The seriousness was gone and there was playfulness in his voice.

“I have to go.” Despite knowing that he was teasing, his words hurt me a bit. After all, how could this good looking guy really be interested in me, right?

I turned to go but he took hold of my wrist and without any effort in his part, was able to spun me around so that I was facing him. He was serious again. I felt so small compared to him although he was only taller by about a couple of inches.

“You’re driving me crazy, do you realize that?” He said, the seriousness in his voice did not leave any doubt in my mind that he was telling the truth.

I was speechless. I was staring in his chocolate eyes and I could not discern how deep they were. I could not wrap my mind on the idea I was driving this good looking guy crazy.

“Say something.” He pleaded. He looked so adorable with uncertainty clear in his face. I knew that no matter what he asked at that time, I would have complied.

“I... uh... You... uh...” I was panicking which made me incoherent. He laughed then, a good hearty laugh and the mirth was reflected in his eyes.

“Go on a date with me.” It was not a question, not even a request. I just felt myself had I said no, he would just smile and brush it off with a wave of his hand. I did not exactly keep it a secret that I like him. I wish that I was a bit in control of my emotions at the moment.

He turned to go but when he sensed that I was not following him, he went back to me and took my hand. He dragged me towards the parking lot at first. When I felt that I could not get away from his grip, I matched his strides so as not to be dragged. I was not entirely sure that I really wanted for him to let go of my hand. We walked holding hands, not minding the people around us.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To my car.” He answered.

“I have my own car.” I lied, which earned me a reproachful look.

“Ok, how did you know that I hate driving?” I asked, suddenly afraid that he was a homicidal stalker.

“I didn’t. I just really wanted to drive you home. If you had your car with you, I would have returned for it and then delivered it to your home.”

“So I take it I’m your driver from now on?” He said after some pause.

I mumbled something under my breathe.

“The truth is I would definitely like to be your boyfriend. But I think it’s rather early for that, don’t you?” He said, looking teasingly at me.

I sat in the passenger seat without a word. I tried very hard to ignore him although every part of my body seemed to be responding to him. Deep inside I was smiling at the thought that he wanted to be my boyfriend.

I told him my address without looking at him. I wanted to glimpse at him but I was too embarrassed so I just focused my attention to the scenery that passed by outside the car. He did not say a word after he asked my address and so we spent the entire ride in complete silence.

Before I knew it, we were parked outside the front door of the building of my apartment.

“Here we are. I’m at the third floor.” I said still not looking at him. He did not say a word so I thought that my silence blew him off.

“Thanks for driving me home.” I said as I opened my side of the car door.

“I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow.” He declared.

I looked at him then. He was smiling, obviously amused at something I did of which I was not aware of. There was a challenge in his eyes which said: “Try getting out of this one.” On my part, I just smiled. We locked eyes for a minute which seemed like an eternity.

“You better go to your apartment before I decide to invite myself to your place.” He said. I was glad of the warning because these were all new to me.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Obviously, you’re not gonna take no for an answer.” I finally said.

He smiled again and gave me a wink. He reached out for me. I felt his strong hand on the back of my head. I probably would have freaked out if he decided to kiss me. He must have sensed my concern as I felt his hand leave the back of my head. Before finally pulling his hand away from me, he brushed the back of his hand against the side of my face.

The moment was perfect and I was feeling so contented even though I was half inside his car and half outside the pavement. But then he gently pushed me which made me stagger a bit in the pavement.

“Good night.” He said, his laugh ringing inside the car. I banged the car door closed but he just waved at me as he drove off.

How I managed to go from the pavement to my apartment, I had no idea. Everything seemed like a dream. I was not looking for someone to be with, I was happy being secretly gay and living a sort of ‘straight’ life. And just like that, tomorrow I have a date.

I woke up the next day and was so convinced that everything was just a dream. Except that Clarice knew about the dream as well. If she knew about it, it certainly did happen then? She called during my lunch break at work, asking for everything that happened.

“Everything?” I asked mischievously.

“Well perhaps not everything. But tell me what you can!”

I then told her everything that happened that night. I did not leave out any detail, mainly because she kept pressing for even the smallest of details. She did not want to hung up but I told her that my break was over.

“Ok but this discussion is not yet over.” She said.

“Sure. Oh by the way, I have a date this evening.” I said before I hung up.

The rest of the day went so quickly. Promptly at six, I was at home and getting ready for my date. I did not want to appear very eager so I wore my favorite blue shirt and faded grey jeans. 15 minutes later, the buzzer rang and after confirming that it was Michael, I buzzed him in. In no time at all, he was knocking at my apartment door. My jaw dropped when I opened the door, not only because he was looking as beautiful as ever but also because he was wearing formal clothes.

“Oh my gawd. Let me change, five minutes is all that it will take.” I said as I turned towards my bedroom. Just like the night before, he caught my wrist and turned me towards him.

“That won’t be necessary. I like what I see. Besides, we’re already late.”

I was about to argue that we still had time to spare as he is very early but was not able to as he pressed a finger against my lips. When he was certain that I was not going to argue, he removed his finger from my lips.

“Now then, would you like me to drag you from here to my car or you’d rather walk by yourself? I can also carry you, you don’t seem to weigh that much.” He then made a pose and flexed his right arm.

“I’d rather walk by myself, thank you very much. Besides, I would not want to bring you to the hospital as you ‘try’ to carry me to your car. I think I already told you that I don’t like to drive.”

He acted like his ego was hurt by my insinuation that he is not strong enough to carry me. He looked so cute that I was tempted to apologize for teasing him. Almost.

We then walked side by side and went for the elevator, only to find that it was not in order. I looked at him questioningly and he just shrugged.

“I used the stairs.” He said. Both my eyebrows shoot up at this declaration. It must have just taken him a couple of minutes to go from the front door to my apartment door and I was on the third floor.

Before descending the stairs, therefore, I looked at my watch and he had a sheepish grin on his face. We descended side by side. After about so many steps, I felt his hand against mine. I looked at him and smiled. He was blushing so deeply. He opened the front door for me and as I stepped out, I looked at my watch again. It took us about five minutes.

“Excited?” I questioned.

“Very.” He replied. I was quite taken aback. I was sure he would deny it.

We then proceeded towards a posh restaurant with him driving. It was a restaurant I’ve been in only once or twice. I was quite impressed, he certainly put a lot of effort for this date but I still felt underdressed. Men were attired in suits just like Michael was. I was the only one in shirt and jeans.

A young cute waitress handed each of us a menu. I noticed that her cheeks were flushed as she took Michael’s order.

When it was my turn to order, Michael voiced some suggestions but he was careful not to insist. I decided to have a t-bone steak and mashed potatoes with some steamed vegetables on the side.

“If you decide that I am not the ideal ‘date,’ I think that young girl is interested.” I teased.

“If you had looked closely, you’d notice that I was not the only one she was interested in. Did you notice the way she looked at you?”

I blushed. It was uncomfortable for me to talk about my looks. For me, I look simple and uninteresting.

“What’s wrong?” Michael asked.

“N-nothing.” I said nervously.

“Look, it has not been my way to beat around the bush. You are beautiful, you are the most beautiful person in this room and I am not just saying that because I like you. I say it because it is the truth.”

“I’m... not... as... good... looking... as... you...” I managed to say.

He smiled and placed his hand on top of mine in the table.

“You sell yourself short. You are both beautiful and humble, I guess that’s part of why I like you.” He said looking deep into my eyes.

We snapped back into reality when the waitress appeared. I immediately took my hand away from the table and in the process yanked my hand away from Michael’s hand which earned me a reproachful glance form him. Feeling guilty, I avoided his gaze and looked at the waitress. I smiled at her and saw her cheeks flush red. I guess Michael wasn’t lying about that part then.

We dined in silence, only the sound of the piano playing in the distance and the soft murmur of people talking. Our eyes were doing the talking as we ate. When we finished, the conversation started. It was awkward at first but it got better and better. We learned about each other’s work, interests, etc.

“So, why did you ask me out?” I bravely asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He replied.

“Actually, no. You appear very... straight.”

“Well I’m definitely not. I like you a lot. Are you... straight?” He asked.

I was confused. He seemed very at ease with his sexuality whereas I was still in the closet. He patted my hand and then placed his hand on top of mine again.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to answer. I understand. I’ve been there. I want to... help you.” He said.

I felt his sincerity and the confusion dissipated a bit. It was still there but it was greatly decreased.

The date ended with him walking me to my apartment door. He was a true gentleman, he did not took advantage of me in any way although I felt that it took all of his self control to do just that. He just brushed the back of his hand against the side of my face again.

That was our first date and it was followed by a lot others after. No date was exactly the same. We went to the movies, the theater, walked the entire length of the local beach. There was a day when we just went to his apartment and he cooked for me. The more I was with him, the more I accepted my sexuality until it came to the point that I was frustrated that he did not want to kiss me nor did he want to push our ‘relationship’ further.

But, alas, it happened. It was the night that he became my boyfriend. It started with a kiss but somehow my frustration and his shattered self control made us do more than we were supposed to during our first time together. But there were no regrets after.

A month after, he was moving in with me as we decided that it’s just a waste of money as we spent the night together either in his apartment or mine. Meeting with Michael’s family and friends was a walk in the park as they had all accepted Michael’s sexuality. They love me, mainly because they said that they had never seen Michael so happy before.

Michael meeting my friends took much longer as I kept putting it off. Finally, I brought Michael to our bowling night and everyone was warm and accepting though some gave me a look that clearly said that: “We will talk later.”

The ‘talk later’ transpired but it was not such a big deal as I first thought it was. They just wanted to be sure that I was happy and when I assured them that I am, they patted my back and wished me luck. It took time but finally I came out to my friends. They were happy for me.

Six months after, Michael started to voice his wish to meet my family. As always, he did not insist but I thought it only fair that he should meet my family too as I already met his. I told him that I would have to think about it.

Nothing was said regarding ‘meeting the family’ until about a week before today. I told him that I would be visiting my family in about a week and that he was welcome to come if he wants to. The absolute happiness in his face was enough for me to know that I made the right choice.

“So why are you staring blankly into space?”

I jumped back a bit in bed not realizing that Michael was already awake.

“How long have you been awake?” I asked.

“Enough to know that there’s something bothering you. What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing. I’m just really tensed about the flight. You know that I don’t like heights.” I lied.

He looked at me as if he wanted to say something but then he just let it go. He laid his head against my naked chest and then looked up at me.

“We have a little bit of problem.” He said very seriously.

I was suddenly more worried than I already was. Somehow Michael’s confidence was my source of strength throughout all this upcoming ordeal with my family. I sighed.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

He then removed the blanket that was covering his body and I saw his morning wood. He looked up at me and smiled mischievously.

“It’s a rather big problem in my opinion. I guess we better take care of this problem then.” I said smiling.

I kissed him then and took hold of his cock only to have my hand brushed off seconds later. Our kiss turned more intense the longer we were at it. Our tongue wrestled and went from his mouth and then to mine and then back to his again.

He took control and kissed down my neck. Then he went to my chest, licking and sucking on each of my nipples. He went further down to my flat stomach. He has a hold of my balls by then. He played with my balls as he kissed further down my stomach. He kissed the skin around the root of my cock. Then he licked my balls and sucked each of them in turn.

I was witnessing all of these. That was the reason Michael was doing such a good job of it, he knew that I like to watch. I gasped as Michael opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around my cockhead. He then took more of my cock inside until I was all the way inside his mouth. I wanted so much to thrust in and out of his mouth but my love for Michael kept me from doing that. I let him rear me towards ejaculation then, his hot lips sliding up and down my cock. Then I closed my eyes and let out a very satisfied moan as I deposited squirt after squirt of my cum inside his mouth. Michael drank all of my cum and cleaned my cock dry.

Michael kissed me and he always had a surprise for me every time. As always, he saved some of my cum in his mouth and shared it with me. We took our time swapping my cum from his mouth to mine then back again to his. Then we split it between us and swallowed almost at the same time.

“I love you.” I said.

“Yeah, yeah. Enough talk, more action.” He said as he laid me on my back and prepared me for penetration.

“I love you too.” He said as he pushed his head gently inside of me. By now, I was so used to his cock that the initial discomfort was almost nonexistent but he still penetrated me like the first time, with so much gentleness and love. Michael was so happy when I told him that he was my first and he made a promise that he’ll make sure that he’ll be the only one thereafter.

He began moving in and out of me. He was looking deep in my eyes as he did so, kissing me from time to time. His thrusts were gentle at first but gets more intense as he loses control. Finally he lets out a loud moan and push his cock all the way inside me.

He was looking at me with so much passion. He kissed me yet again then his gaze moved lower down my body. I saw him smirk. I looked down at myself and saw the reason for his smirk. I cummed all over myself without me realizing it. Michael’s cock involuntarily left my hole with an audible pop. Michael then began licking my cum off of me and in the end shared it with me.

We were running a little late. We shared a shower together, not that we need the excuse of being late to do that. We always shower together. We cleaned each other off doing, a lot of groping and fondling.

An hour later, we were at the domestic airport, ready to board the plane. When we’re finally seated side by side with me on an aisle seat and Michael on a window seat, I began to slightly panic and this time the family visit was not the immediate reason. Being on a plane gets me nervous. I groaned a little when the plane began to slightly shake as its engines came to life. I leaned back against my seat and closed my eyes. Then I felt Michael’s hand holding mine. He leaned slightly towards me and then began whispering soothing words in my ears. I began to relax a little only to stiffen when the plane accelerated, ready to take off. Michael took my hand and placed it against his chest close to his heart. The steady beating of his heart did the trick, I almost didn’t minded the take off. Well almost.

When we’re finally on air, I opened my eyes and looked at Michael. His full attention was on me, the concern was clear on his face. I smiled weakly to reassure him. He kissed my hand which he held on his chest before placing it on the armrest of my seat and patted it.

“That was fun. We should do that more often.” He joked.

I groaned in reply to which he chuckled.

The next few minutes were spent with me trying to pull myself together and Michael fussing over me. When I was already feeling fine, the talk began. We never seem to ran out of things to talk about. We enjoy each other’s company and have so much things in common, not that the relationship is perfect. We do quarrel sometimes but reconcile almost immediately.

“So I guess I never told you much about my family.” I began.

“No you didn’t. I didn’t want to pressure you. I could tell you’re not that comfortable with this.” He said with a sideways look at me.

“Yeah, my family means a lot to me and they are very opinionated. I was never very open to them about my sexuality. But I felt it was unfair of me to hide you from them. So here we are. You have to be prepared though.”

“Hey we’re in this together.” He said as he patted my hand.

I didn’t say anything for a while. I was trying to collect my thoughts. I could feel Michael’s gaze on me but he didn’t say anything nor did he seem frustrated that I was taking my time.

“My Mom is cool. I think she’ll take the news about us rather well. She is one tough woman but she has a heart of gold. Don’t let her strong facade fool you. I know she’ll love you because you make me happy.”

“My Dad maybe a bit of a problem.” I continued. “He’s the kind of person who seldom expresses how he feels. I don’t really know how he’d react to us.”

“My older brother, Jonathan, takes after my Dad. For sure he’ll keep quiet. In fact, I don’t think we’ll ever know how he feels about the two of us. That’s how he is, he is unusually quiet. I guess that’s the reason I am not particularly close to him. He still lives with my parents. He’s a bit of a bum.” I said blushing.

“As for my younger sister, Joanne, I’m sure I’ll never hear the end of this. We tease each other a lot. I’m sure she’ll rub my face on the fact that you’re very attractive. But all in all, I think she’ll be ok with us.”

“You’re wrong.” He said after a bit of a pause.

“About what?” With panic in my voice.

“I maybe attractive...” He stopped after seeing the look on my face.

“Ok, I am attractive. But so are you.” He said with a sheepish grin.

I didn’t react because I don’t know how to react to that, all the while I was blushing profusely. An unusual silence developed between us as both of us pondered on what I just told him. After a while, I spoke.

“Oh and there’s Harvey.”

“Who is Harvey?” He asked. I guess the way I spoke, trying to be casual but a little bit strained, made him suspicious. I sighed.

“He’s my ex-best friend.”

“Ex?” He said, looking at me now. I did not meet his gaze.

“Um, I used to be in love with him. I thought he felt the same way but when I confessed my love for him, he started calling me names and we ended up fighting. We were able to reconcile our differences, mainly because our families are close friends and it would just be awkward to try ignoring each other. But we were not able to become best friends again.”

Michael became unusually quiet. He was looking out the window. I wanted to touch him but was afraid he’d flinch if I do.

“Are you ok?” I finally said.

“You should not have told me that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This Harvey should be the one to be sorry. I just wanna beat him up for hurting you.” He said softly, but the slight trembling of his body gave me an idea that he was trying real hard to control his anger.

I moved closer to him and whispered to his ear “I love you.” The trembling stopped and he looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes as he mouthed the words “I love you too.”

Before we knew it, we were about to land. I was not myself again during this time but Michael was there to reassure me that everything will be fine while holding my hand. The next half hour was spent getting off the plane and the airport. Once outside, we hailed a taxi and we were finally on our way to my family home.

We didn’t say much on the way there, probably because both of us were nervous. However, we were holding hands the whole time and he would gently squeeze my hand to reassure me. When the taxi finally stopped, I sighed loudly.

“Ready?” I asked, not sounding ready myself.

“I guess I am. How about you?” He asked.

I just shrugged and got off the taxi. A minute later, Michael was standing behind me. We stood and gazed at a white house with a tidy lawn. I could remember fond memories everywhere I looked. I smiled despite my worries.

“John, is that really you?” A familiar voice said.

I fixed my gaze on the owner of that voice. Sure enough, Harvey was there smiling broadly. I hate to admit it, but he still look very handsome even compared to Michael. As I was pondering this on my head, I never realized anything was amiss before Harvey was hugging me. I looked at Michael and he didn’t seem very pleased. Harvey finally let go of me, well almost. He still had a hold of my arm.

“M-Michael, this is Harvey, a family friend. Harvey, this is Michael, my boyfriend.” I blurted out since Michael is about ready to strangle Harvey.

I guess it was only then that Harvey really noticed that I was with someone. He shook Michael’s hand, all the while never letting go of the hold he had on my arm. Harvey looked at me and then at Michael and finally back at me with a smile on his lips. There was a time when I could tell what Harvey was thinking about but not anymore.

Michael put an arm around me and pulled me slightly which caused Harvey’s hand to let go of my arm.

“Michael, don’t misunderstand. John is just teasing with you. I am actually his best friend.” Harvey declared, still smiling. I just wish he would stop smiling.

“Harvey, we both know that’s not true anymore.” I said as Harvey just shrugged.

“What were you two doing standing here? Come inside.” He said as if he owned the house.

With that, we had no choice but to follow Harvey inside. At first, it seemed like no one was home. But then we found Mom in the kitchen.

“Hey Mrs. Saunders, guess who’s home?” Harvey said as he helped himself on a sandwich which Mom was making.

“Who is it, Harvey?” Mom asked.

She looked up then and she saw me. She smiled so kindly and I couldn’t help but smile back at her. She was still the same Mom I knew and loved, the lines on her face the only indication that she aged. I went to her and hugged her. Just as we let go, she kissed me on my cheek and patted my back.

“How are you, son? You look well, I see. You grow more handsome each day.” She said proudly. I blushed deeply and looked sheepishly at Michael.

“So you brought a friend. Hello, I am John’s mother.” She extended her hand, Michael took it.

“Nice to meet you. I am Michael.” Michael said with a broad smile.

“Mom, this is my b-boyfriend.”

If Mom was surprised, she didn’t show it. She immediately let go of their handshake and gave Michael a hug. She had a smile on her face but had this look on her face that clearly said: “We’ll talk later.” She let go of Michael and looked at him appraisingly.

“You chose well, son. He’s quite a catch.” She said. She was always brutally honest. I gave her an “Oh Mom” look but she just ignored me. I caught a glimpse of Harvey laughing quietly.

“Your son is quite a catch himself.” Michael said. If I was embarrassed before, I wanted to disappear after that comment. The three of them laughed while I blushed deeply.

“Where’s everybody?” I asked.

“Your Dad’s at work. He’ll probably be here just before dinner. Your brother and sister are both at school. They’ll be here shortly.”

I should have figured that out as it was a weekday but I guess I was not thinking clearly as the strain of coming out to my family got to me.

“What are you doing home then?” That question directed to Harvey.

“I didn’t feel like going to work today. I guess that’s the prerogative of owning my own business.” He said smugly. He had always been so full of himself. I guess being very handsome and rich does that to people.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re rich unlike some of us. If you’re so rich though, why don’t you eat at your own house instead of devouring all of our food?” I said, not trying to hide the irritation from my voice.

“Now kids, stop bickering. Nothing’s change now that you’re older, I see.” Mom said with a voice that clearly said we better stop or else. But she had a smile on her face nonetheless. I was still scowling but didn’t say anything more. Meanwhile, Harvey took another sandwich and smiled at me as he took a bite.

Michael put an arm on my shoulder. I looked at him and my mood got better all of a sudden. He had a smile that was only meant for me.

“You two should go and put your things out of the way. You still know your way to your room, right John?”

“Of course, Mom. But where will Michael be staying.” I asked.

“In your room, of course. Where else?”

I was very happy as I brought Michael to my room. There was a spare bedroom for guests of course but the fact that Mom allowed Michael to be in my room meant that she had already accepted Michael. Michael got one look at the single bed and looked questioningly at me.

“Mom may have accepted you but she is still old fashioned.” I said this as I pulled another single bed from underneath.

“Please tell me you’re joking. We’ve never slept apart since you accepted me as your boyfriend.” Michael said with puppy dog eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. Then we kissed.

“Hey, my old bed.”

Michael and I let go of the kiss and of each other. Harvey had laid himself on the bed which I pulled out just a while ago, his upper body elevated a little as he used one of his arms to prop himself up. He was looking at Michael and I with a smile on his face.

“H get out.” I said. Harvey did not make a move. If anything, his smile got broader.

“What’s the matter, J, this was my old bed. I used to sleep here all the time for as long as I could remember.” Harvey said. “You’ve never called me H ever since that day.” He continued after some pause.

I looked guiltily at Michael. He was looking at me clearly confused. I tried to apologize to him through my eyes but I guess the message didn’t get through.

“Harvey just please get out.” I said, trying desperately to control my anger.

“Ok, John. I just really miss my best friend and I’m glad that you’re back. We’ll talk later then.” Harvey said to me. “As for you, Michael, you better take care of my best friend or else.” He said to Michael with a hard pat on his back. Wanting to avoid any confrontations, I held Michael’s hand.

“What was that about, John? I thought you said you’re not best friends anymore. I saw the way he looks at you. If I didn’t know any better, he seems very glad to really see you.” Michael bellowed.

“Lower your voice, Michael. It’s not my fault if he thinks that we’re still best friends. I admit that it was a mistake calling him H. Just seeing him in that bed made me think about the old times.” I said apologetically.

“I just don’t get why you let him get to you. If you don’t act weird around him, I guess I won’t have any problem.” Michael said a little calmer.

I was about to answer but then I heard a girl’s voice said from downstairs: “John’s here? Where?” Instead of saying anything, therefore, I brushed the back of my hand against Michael’s face. He didn’t flinch from my touch so I guess he’s not mad at me anymore. I immediately stopped what I was doing as my sister opened the door. She had a big smile on her facee but she faltered a bit as she saw Michael. She looked at Michael for a full minute and then at me. I smiled weakly at her.

“John, nice to see you.” She said then hugged me. I whispered silently at her: “Be nice.”

She let go of me and the big smile was back on her face. I spoke before she could say anything.

“Michael, this is my sister, Joanne. Sis, this is Michael, my boyfriend.” I suddenly wished that Joanne closed the door. Just as I said the word ‘boyfriend’, Jonathan appeared and he stopped in his tracks. Then he continued walking. I heard him go to his room quietly. I looked worried at Joanne but she just waved her hand.

“Don’t mind him. He’s always like that, as you know so well. But that doesn’t mean that he’s not ok with you being, um, you know.” She said, suddenly regretting that she said so much.

“Gay. I’m gay, Joanne. You can say it.” I said.

“Ok, you’re gay. Hi Michael. Nice to meet you.” She said beaming.

“Nice to meet you too.” Michael said. They easily chatted, instantly friends. I spent the time getting clothes out of my luggage and hanging them on the closet.

“Joanne, we’ll talk again later. I guess I’ll take care of my luggage first.” Michael said and they smiled at each other. Michael even gave her a wink. I looked at him as he passed by me to get to his luggage. He just looked innocently back at me.

I thought my sister was looking at me but when I was inches away from her, she leaned to her left to continue looking at Michael. I straightened her up and she was blushing and had a glazed look on her. I snapped my fingers in front of her and she mouthed the words “wow.”

“Michael, we’ll go downstairs, ok? You just follow when you’re finished.” I said as I dragged Joanne out of the room.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I finally asked after I closed the door to my room.

“What? I’ve never seen anyone as good looking as your boyfriend.” She said honestly as we walked side by side going down then to the living room. I fixed her a serious gaze as we both sat down on opposite chairs.

“Seriously, Joanne, are you ok with this?” I asked. She sighed.

“I’ve always known or at least suspected that you’re gay. The truth is, I’ve always thought that you and Harvey will end up together.” She looked up then and froze. I looked behind me and Michael was standing there.

“Sorry.” Joanne said.

“Somebody mentioned my name?” Harvey said, making his appearance. Of course, he’s smiling.

“Yeah, Harvs, I was just telling John and Michael that they make a cute couple.” Joanne said. I looked thankfully at her.

“Ok, but why did you mention my name?” Harvey said. He was dead serious.

“Because, I was just telling them that you have never had any girlfriend. At least not one more than a one night stand. Maybe you need a boyfriend yourself.” Joanne teased.

“Maybe I do.” Harvey said silently as he looked at me. Joanne and Michael was laughing loudly then so they didn’t seem to notice.

The four of us chatted, Joanne and Michael did most of the talking. Harvey and I would just join in the conversation every now and then. Whenever I would catch Harvey looking at me, he would just smile and shrug. We were busily chatting then when Dad arrived. Joanne stood up and kissed Dad. She had always been close to Dad. I just stood up.

“Hi, Dad.” I said.

“Good to have you home.” He said as we shook hands.

“Dad, this is Michael, my boyfriend.” I said as Michael stood up. Dad just gave one look at Michael and nodded. Then he looked at Harvey.

“Harvey, nice to see you. How’s business?” The two of them then talked about business. I looked at Michael and gave him a reassuring smile. He took my hand and squeezed it gently. I looked at Joanne pleadingly. If anyone could help Michael and I with Dad, she’s the one.

“I’ll do what I can.” She said.

“Come and get dinner.” Mom called from the kitchen. All of us moved. Dad was accompanied by Joanne followed by Harvey on his own and Michael and I on the rear. The dining table was rectangular and made of dark brown mahogany. There were two chairs facing each other on both ends and at the sides were 3 chairs each. Dad seated himself on one end with Joanne on his right and Harvey on his left. After setting up the table, Mom seated herself on the other end with me on her left and Jonathan on her right. Michael was seated in between Joanne and I.

I was trying to make eye contact with Jonathan but he kept his head low and focused his attention on his food. I guess Michael sensed that I was feeling a little frustrated since the next thing I felt was his hand on my thigh. It was brief but it made me feel good nonetheless.

It felt like there was a wall around Michael and I during dinner. Dad talked to Joanne and Harvey but ignored Michael and I. I think he was pretending like we were not there. Mom, however, asked me all about my work and my present life. She even included Michael on our conversation. That was until Dad included Mom on our conversation and then Michael and I were left to ourselves. Jonathan, as usual, did not say anything throughout dinner.

When dinner was finished, Michael and I volunteered to clean up. Without a word, Jonathan went to his room. Joanne mentioned something about chatting with her friends. Dad and Mom went to the living room. Harvey just sort of hang out while Michael and I were cleaning.

I’m ignored Harvey. I still don’t know why he’s acting the way he’s been acting. Our friendship ended that day, didn’t it? But he still acted like my best friend or worst, like a jealous ex-boyfriend.

“So Michael, want to know dirty secrets about your boyfriend?” Harvey said. I shot him an angry look and he held up his hand and backed away a bit.

“Sorry, just trying to make conversation. Why are you being this way, John? I am just showing how glad I am that you’re home. Is that a crime?”

I kept silent but the look on Michael’s face showed that he agreed with Harvey. I felt guilty. Maybe I was being unreasonable about this whole thing. But there’s no denying the look Harvey gives me. That look is very familiar to me because I had that look before back when I was still in love with him. It could be that he’s just missing me, his best friend, and the truth is I miss him too.

I went to Harvey and offered my hand to him. Harvey took it with a big smile on his face. I smiled too but my smile was transformed into a scowl as our handshake lingered. Harvey was smiling mockingly as I tried to take my hand away from him. I looked back and was thankful that Michael was busy cleaning the dishes.

“Michael, I’ll dry those off.” With that, Harvey let go of my hand but I got the impression that the expression on his face clearly said that I can’t run away from him forever.

“You two are friends again?” Michael teased. I just shrugged. I guess Michael knew me too well because he got a worried look on his face. He fixed his gaze on Harvey.

“Don’t worry about it. I guess I’m still getting used to this. We haven’t been friends for a very long time.” I lied. Michael’s gaze returned to me and his features softened a bit.

“I don’t like the guy either.” He whispered. “But I think you’ll agree that he is damn good looking.” I knew he was teasing and the fact that he was meant that he believed my lie.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ll ask him for a threesome later.” That said with a huge smirk on my face. Michael blushed and slapped my ass gently. I laughed a bit loudly.

“I WILL NOT HAVE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR INSIDE MY HOUSE.”

The two of us turned around like two kids caught doing something naughty. Dad was livid with fear. Those were the only words he said but I felt like he just condemned the two of us to hell. Mom went to our rescue. She managed to coax Dad to go to their bedroom.

I looked at Harvey and his face was serious. His arms were crossed in front of him and the look he gave me made more ashamed than I already was.

“You better finish up fast so we can go to bed.” Michael said. I knew that he was feeling exactly the way I do and he can’t wait for us to be alone in my bedroom so we could comfort each other. I picked up my pace and in about a couple of minutes, I was finished drying up the dishes.

“Let’s go.” I said. Michael and I walked hand in hand towards my room. As I closed the door, Michael leaned for a kiss. We were just beginning to enjoy the kiss and finally being alone when we heard a knock on the door. I gently pushed Michael away from me, turned around and opened the door. It was Mom with Harvey behind her.

“I’m sorry about what happened at the kitchen, son. Your Dad needs time to accept you and Michael. For now, try not to do anything like that again. Also, your Dad didn’t want you and Michael to be left all alone in this room.” Mom said.

“Mom, I’m a grown up! Michael and I shares a room in our apartment! And if Dad doesn’t want us sleeping together in his house then we’ll just go to a hotel!” I said rather loudly.

“I knew you’d say that.” Mom said calmly. “So I asked Harvey if he’ll agree sleeping with the two of you in your room. He agreed.”

Mom hugged me and left. I knew she wanted to say so much to me but she was also protecting Michael and I from Dad. If she lingered, it would only be a matter of time before Dad decides to pay my room a visit.

“Wanna help me carry the spare mattress, John?” Harvey said. I looked at Michael and he had a disbelieving look on his face. I patted him on the back, trying to comfort him. He smiled weakly at me.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Hey I don’t wanna spoil your romantic moment but if your Dad finds you like this, I’m gonna be in trouble too.” Harvey said.

Harvey and I went to the guest bedroom to get the mattress.

“So I guess now is the best time for that threesome, huh?” Harvey said as he chuckled. I just stood there and gaped at him open mouthed.

“It won’t be that bad. Your boyfriend has a nice ass. Not as good as yours though.” He winked at me and he started laughing.

“If you can just see the look on your face. I’m only kidding.” He said but there was a note in his voice that I couldn’t place.

We managed to bring the mattress to my room even though I felt so confused and disoriented.

“Good night guys. Behave.” Harvey said.

I extended my hand towards Michael and he held mine in his. Despite everything that happened that day or perhaps because of it, I slept immediately.

I woke up to the sounds of shouting. At first I thought it was just a dream. I looked upon the bed beside me and Michael wasn’t there. Harvey was not in the mattress either. I quickly went to the living room which was where the shouting was coming from.

“YOU MADE MY SON GAY!” Dad shouted as I made my entrance.

The scene before me seemed surreal. Michael was lying on the floor with blood on his face. Mom was calm as usual and tending on Michael. Jonathan was keeping Dad off of Michael. Dad’s face was very red with anger. Harvey was just standing in a corner, he had the look of a person enjoying a show.

I immediately went towards Michael. He looked so dejected and defeated. I haven’t seen him that way yet. He was always full of confidence. I turned around to face Dad.

“He did not make me gay. I was gay even before I knew him. I was gay when I was still living in your roof.” The words flowed from my mouth. Dad was looking angrier the more I spoke.

“Then you are no son of mine.” He said then left.

Jonathan caught me before I sunk to the floor. I dreaded those words ever since I realized that I was gay. Jonathan helped me to the couch. I looked up at him and was surprised at the concern in his eyes. We were not close but he was still my brother.

“Thank you.” I said.

“I thought I had it bad with Dad.” He said. “He was always going on about how he’s so proud of you and that I should be more like you. The truth is, I started hating you.”

“I...” I started to say but Jonathan stopped me by placing his hand on my shoulder.

“I do not hate you. I just thought I did. If not because of you, I would not decide to go back to college.” He finally said and said no more. We just looked at each other and the unspoken words that passed between us made me a little better.

“Michael...” I uttered as I suddenly remembered him. I looked around but he was not around. I looked at Mom but she just shook her head.

“I’m sorry, son. I did not notice him leaving. You should go and look for him”

“I’ll go with you.” Harvey said. “Let’s try your room.”

We went to my room. Michael wasn’t there. I just suddenly realized that I was alone in my room with Harvey.

“Maybe he went out. He couldn’t have gone far. He’s not familiar with this neighborhood.” I said. I turned around and started for the door. Harvey caught my wrist and pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around me and as we stood so close together, I felt his sweet warm breathe on my face. I looked at Harvey confused but was also struck by how handsome he was up close. He passed his tongue through his lips and then his lips inched closer to mine. Our lips met and I felt as if the world stopped. I heard an audible gasp around me and was able to push Harvey off of me enough so I could look back.

Michael was at the doorway with Joanne behind her. Joanne had her hand over her mouth. Michael still had his hand on the doorknob. I looked at his face and I felt ashamed as I saw so much hurt in his eyes.

“Michael, I...” I began but he was gone before I even got to finish. I turned around to face Harvey.

“You did this. You planned all of it. I can’t believe that I used to consider you as my best friend. I can’t believe that I used to be in love with you.” I said with venom in every word. Harvey looked hurt.

“I may have planned to be alone with you in the beginning but I didn’t plan for Michael to see us. I didn’t plan for anyone to see us. Why did you think I suggested your room? I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you. I got scared when you confessed your love for me so many years ago because the truth is I love you too but I didn’t want to be gay. So I pushed you away. But seeing you with Michael made me realize that I didn’t want to lose you. I had to do something to let you know how I feel before it’s too late.”

I didn’t say anything. I knew that Joanne was still at the door, the scared look on Harvey’s face proved that to be true.

“Anyway, you have to go and look for Michael. We’ll talk later.” He said as he went to sit in my bed with his hands on his head.

I wanted to comfort my friend who was looking very dejected at the moment but I needed to find Michael. I went downstairs.

Mom and Jonathan were nowhere to be seen. They were probably out looking for Dad. The front door was open. I went out towards the pavement and looked left and right. Michael was nowhere to be seen. I decided to go left. I walked for almost 10 minutes until I came to our local park, the same one I used to play in when I was younger and where Harvey and I usually hang out. I entered the park and looked around. I spotted Michael immediately as the park was deserted at the moment. He was on a swing. I went to the swing next to it.

“Michael, I’m sorry.” I said.

“I’m sorry too.” He said and the way he said it clearly meant that he was sorry he came on this vacation.

I wanted to cry. I didn’t want for Michael to have to go through this. I looked at him through the corners of my eyes and my heart sank lower. I haven’t seen him so sad before. He was always so happy.

“I did warn you about my family.” I said.

“You think your family is the problem?” He asked, his pitch rising a bit.

“Harvey...” I didn’t continue because I really had no idea what to say.

“Why did you kiss him?”

“He kissed me.” I said.

“Oh come on. It takes two to kiss. You seemed to be enjoying it.” There was a note of deep sadness in his voice. I sighed.

“I know that this is not a valid reason but I wanted to be sure.” I said.

“Sure of what? Which of us you like better?” He stood up.

“Don’t go. Hear me out first.” I said. He just stood there.

“I wanted to be sure that I didn’t love Harvey anymore. I wanted to be sure that you’re the only one in my heart.” I felt so guilty that I wasn’t sure about my feelings. As Michael started to go, I did nothing to stop him. I just sat there alone. Kids nowadays are probably not into parks anymore as I was left alone the whole day. It was dusk when someone finally appeared.

“There you are.” Harvey said as he took the swing which was previously occupied by Michael hours ago.

“You wanna talk?” He said. I sighed.

“Did he leave?” I asked.

“Yeah, packed his bag and went. Your Mom and Joanne tried to stop him but he said that he had stayed long enough. He thanked your Mom and even tried to talk to your Dad but you know your Dad.”

I looked at Harvey.

“Don’t worry, there was no bout this time. Your Dad just waved him away.”

I nodded.

“I am not gonna ask how you feel about me because both of us know the answer to that one. I felt it in your kiss. To me, it felt wonderful to finally kiss you but you didn’t seem to enjoy it that much. Am I right?”

I just nodded again.

“What’s wrong then? You love Michael. Why are you just sitting here?”

“Because I hurt him. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I just want him to be happy. Do you know how it felt not to be sure about your feelings?” I said.

“The truth of the matter is, I do. Have you forgotten that day you confessed your love to me? I wanted to kick myself when I saw the hurt in your eyes. I wished I was brave enough to let you know that I love you too then. Maybe all of these wouldn’t have happened. But though I regret my actions before I don’t regret it that much.”

“Why is that?” I asked, totally confused.

“Because I haven’t seen you so happy before. The way you two look at each other, I really do feel envious. I hope I’ll be able to find the ‘Michael’ of my life.” He looked at me and winked. I smiled at him but then suddenly got up.

“I’ve got to go to the airport. I hope there’s a flight left.”

“Why would you do that?” Harvey said, the playfulness in his voice is back.

“Because I’ve got to talk to Michael as soon as possible.”

“Well I think going to the hotel is more practical as Michael went there.” Harvey said and he laughed loudly.

Harvey dropped me off in the hotel. Turns out he was the one who also dropped Michael here. The two of them talked on the way and Harvey was able to get me off the hook.

“So since you owe me big time for this, I’ll just let you two know when I’m ready for our threesome.” Harvey said then went on his way.

I knocked at Michael’s hotel room door and he answered the door. Seeing him smile his confident smile when he saw me lifted all of my worries. He held my hips and then hugged me. I just started crying and he just held me to him until no tears came.

We kissed once we were finally inside his room. It was full of love and passion. We went to the bed and we just laid there with Michael’s arms around me. He whispered in my ear: “Everything is going to be all right.”

The next day, we went to my family’s home to get my things. I saw Mom cry for the first time. Dad was sitting in the couch and Joanne was beside him. Dad wasn’t saying anything. He already said enough yesterday. Jonathan was in a corner. For the first time in my life, I went to him and hugged him. We held each other for a minute, both of us blushing and smiling awkwardly as we finally let go of each other.

“You will always be my son and you are always welcome here. This is your home.” Mom said as we hugged.

I offered my hand to Harvey but he hugged me instead. It was awkward but when I looked at Michael, he was smiling.

I then stood in front of Dad.

“I know you think that I somehow let you down. But my sexuality is not anyone’s fault. It is not Michael’s fault and it is not mine. I think you’re thinking where you went wrong but you see it’s not your fault either. I am happy with Michael and I hope in time you’ll realize that though I’m gay, I am still your son. Nothing’s changed.”

My Dad looked up at me. There was still anger in his eyes but a moment of softness passed and I knew that there was still hope.

Michael and I went out of the house. I looked at Michael and he looked with so much love in his eyes back at me. My family made me who I am and though they’re not perfect, they will always be my family. I looked at Michael and I saw myself having a family with him. I knew it was too soon to think about that but the thought made me hopeful.

Copyright © 2010 jian_sierra; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 7
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

**Does a happy dance for reading your story last night**

 

Jian, babes, this was very very honest piece. All I'm gonna say. Ok, I'm also gonna say that you pictured out so well the family drama, realistic reaction of John's dad; Harvey's action got explained etc. Bottom line is I'm happy John found love and courage to get out of his shell and be proud of himself and Michael.

 

:) :)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 05/22/2011 04:28 PM, Marzipan said:
**Does a happy dance for reading your story last night**

 

Jian, babes, this was very very honest piece. All I'm gonna say. Ok, I'm also gonna say that you pictured out so well the family drama, realistic reaction of John's dad; Harvey's action got explained etc. Bottom line is I'm happy John found love and courage to get out of his shell and be proud of himself and Michael.

 

:) :)

Yay thanks so much for reading :):hug:
  • Like 1
Link to comment

Nice story. I think you could have probably fleshed out the emotions a little bit more but overall it is a good read.

  • Like 1
Link to comment

I find myself hoping that time is the great healer here of John's dad's emotions, and that they will all be a family once again. You wrote feelings and inner struggles here so well, but without such a serious depth that it took from the storyline. This is another great read. Thank youthumbsup.gif

  • Like 1
Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..