Monologues - 1. Not All Stories Have a Happy Ending

Listen, you can’t fix everything, and not every tale has a happy ending. You’ve been asking me out for months, and I keep turning you down, but you won’t give up and leave me alone. You keep telling me about all these things that you want, but you keep ignoring what I’m telling you I want. You want to make me happy. You want to see me smile. You want to take me to dinner, or to the theater or to a movie. You want you want you want. I don’t give a fuck what you want, because you don’t give a fuck what I want! So you know what? I’ll indulge you, and spill my fucking secrets. I have trouble reading from a distance because I have a glass eye. I have two bad knees, and the only way I can avoid using a cane just to walk is to wear braces, which is why I walk slow. I was kicked in the head so much that I have brain damage to my memory. Wait, where are you going? I’m not done yet! I have genetic hearing loss and I’m almost deaf, most of the time the only reason I can understand anybody is because I lipread! I’m gay and I hate it, because I can’t even sleep with anyone. I hate sucking dick. I hate topping. I can’t even bottom because I was brutally raped when I was sixteen and it split me open so now every time I take a shit it burns and I bleed! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? DID YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT?! Just… leave me alone. Please just…leave me alone.