Mad World Existence - 2. Chapter 2

roy opened his eyes and saw people looking at something that appeared as though it had once resembled himself. He approached and saw himself lying on the pavement in a pool of dark, sticky blood and the crowd just stood there, not moving to help, the perfect reflection of modern apathy. He conceded the fact that it was probably too late, but he still felt as though somebody should have tried to help. He sighed and moved away, just as the ambulance came screaming down the road, lights flashing and sirens wailing in a way that almost seemed to reflect a fitting requiem of sorts.

He watched as the paramedics placed him on the gurney and rushed him into the back of the ambulance, leaving the pool of blood behind, which reflected the faces of the spectators. He laughed inwardly at this almost ironic turn of events as it was only in death that people had found him remotely interesting and had bothered, even though their interest was purely voyeuristic.

In a split second he decided to take a ride with the ambulance that was taking his broken body to the hospital. During the trip to the hospital, he sat back and watched as the paramedics were talking to each other, mentioning things he had never heard of. The only thing he understood was when the female paramedic whose name happened to be Amanda, told he colleague that she needed ten milligrams of epi (or epinephrine as his chemistry teacher had stated).

He followed the paramedics through the hospital into the ER, and then on into the surgery bay, never ceasing to watch. The doctors were saying something about him still being alive, but that they couldn’t get him to regain consciousness. He continued to follow as they led his body into the intensive care section of the ward, hooked him up to numerous machines that would monitor his vital signs. As he entered he saw other patients standing next to themselves, some yelling at themselves and others just sat on the ends of the beds with a sad, haunted look on their faces as the realization that they might be stuck in this state for the rest of their natural lives or until someone decided to ‘pull the plug’.

Throughout everything that had happened and everything that he had seen, he had failed to take into account the fact that his family would visit. As he stood next to himself he thought that perhaps it was better that he couldn’t respond to what his family had to say, knowing that the final result would end up in another argument that would hurt more than not seeing them at all.

Almost as though on command, his parents walked through the doors to the intensive care unit and were led directly to his bedside by a plump nurse with a jolly attitude, who genuinely seemed to enjoy her job, although he wondered how someone could remain happy and have a positive attitude when they were surrounded by death and tragedy every single day. He gave up the thought almost as quickly as it had come as he observed his parents behavior, trying to determine the motive behind the visit. His mother (not deserving of a more affectionate term) was sitting in an old chair by his bed crying into her hands. Initially, she said nothing, but after regaining her composure, for which she a uncanny ability, she softly said that she was sorry she didn’t try harder to save his soul as she would never see him again if he died because he was going to hell.

After she finished, all he wanted to do was scream, pick her up and yell in her face that she could shove the hypocrisy of her religion up her …. . Despite the fact that he had been brought up in a religious home, he had inherited none of the devotion or the blind acceptance of what was preached at him from the pulpit, as he had personally witnessed the pastor’s hypocrisy. He remembered a particular service that he had attended when he was fourteen and the pastor had preached about loving thy neighbor, respecting people that are different than yourself and that all human beings were loved equally by god. The next Sunday the service was a polar opposite as the pastor said that he had heard that there was a movement for gay marriage and that this was wrong, disgusting and abhorrent. He had been thoroughly confused by this about face, as had personally though that people should respect each other and their choices no matter what the skin colour or sexual preference.

Then again, he knew that Australia wasn’t exactly the most accepting of places in terms of people that were different from the mainstream. The Cronulla riots in Sydney in 2005 had showed that race was still an issue and that the illusion of a multicultural society was one that the government simply created and maintained in order to appease those that thought everyone was equal.

All of these things were reminiscent of the attitudes which his mother had encompassed in her acceptance of the right wing religious and political viewpoints.

He had never breathed such a sigh of relief, as he did when his ‘mother’ left the room and he could once again concentrate on finding a way to either ensure his own death, which he thought he had done or find a way to regain consciousness. Just as this thought entered his mind, one of the nurses had entered the room and turned on the TV for the benefit of the patients ‘apparently’. He inwardly smirked as he could tell by the look on her face and the coldness in her eyes that she hated her job and only did what she was ordered to do.

He decided to ignore her and instead focused his attention on the TV, which was doing an expose on some secret operation. At that moment he remembered seeing that story before he had ignored everything and had tried to end it all. It was after this realization that the story peaked his interest as he found it interesting that the media was still touting the same story, even though not many seemed to believe it and of course the government had many experts come out and say that the entire story was bogus. However, the reporters that had broken the story claimed to have irrefutable evidence pointing to secret operations by government departments. The main organizations that were accused in Australia were ASIO and ASIS (Australian Security Intelligence Agency and Australian Secret Intelligence Service) and off course MI6 and the CIA were apparently involved in the recovery operation of the “mysterious object”.

As he sat watching the TV and casting sideways glances towards himself he heard something that equated to a shrill scream. Everyone in the room (those that weren’t currently tied to the physical form) turned and headed towards the offensive sound that was pulling them forward despite the pain in caused. All of sudden, it all ceased and an eerie quite descended upon the hospital and the lights flickered and went out, as did all the monitors and any other electrical equipment. All those that had left the room either went back to themselves and watched or faded away as their bodies died without the support of the machines.

He paused momentarily on the way back to his bed, seeing a little girl in a pick dress holding a blue balloon and crying in the corner. He couldn’t seem to tell whether or not she was real or not, but he smiled at her, hoping that maybe it would be enough.

He made it back to his bed and decided to close his eyes to test whether or not he could actually fall asleep and it was at that moment that everything turned black and he felt excruciating pain passing through his body, almost as though he had been hit by a concrete truck. He then felt a wave of nausea and the pain disappeared, leaving him in darkness with nothing but his thoughts.

He awoke the next morning, only being able to tell that it was early because of the irritating voices of the Sunrise (early morning / breakfast program) hosts. Nevertheless, he paid attention to what they were saying as the story mentioned something about a worldwide blackout and the thousands of people that had died due to car accidents and numerous elevator incidents and of course those that had died in the hospital, all people whose families didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. He almost felt sorry for those people, but he knew that nobody had cared about him and so therefore they didn’t deserve anything back. Troy knew that he was perhaps a little bitter, but that’s what the reality he had lived in had caused him to become; hate, apathy and the enduring ability strike those that were down.

He felt someone approach and heard the soft padding of the nurse’s shoes as she came to do the routine vitals check up. He heard her pick up the chart and mumble something about being understaffed and that she wasn’t being paid enough to have to cover for the doctor. As she came to the side of the bed and felt his pulse he forced his hand to slowly move towards her other arm, overcoming the burning pain, and finally touching her slightly on the forearm. A split second later, the nurse screamed as though she had seen the very gates of hell open right before her eyes. Her scream was filled with an abject horror, but she choked back her fear and cautiously approached his bed, not knowing what to think or feel. She slowly pulled the blood stained bandages that had been wrapped around his head to staunch the bleeding from a wound that had occurred after part of his skull had been crushed. The bandage stuck to the scabs, causing him to tense his body thereby causing himself more pain, but he persevered through the pain just to catch one last glimpse of the morning sun and the birds singing outside his window, welcoming the new day.

The final layer of bandage came off along with part of his scab, causing blood to run down his face, collect on his nose and slowly drip down onto his lips.

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, he opened his eyes and looked down at himself. He didn’t know what to make of the austere plaster that covered his legs and the bandages that were tightly wrapped around his ribs, restricting his breathing. He saw the sunrise and at that precise moment he realized that the feelings he’d had before his suicide attempt were still there. The hope that he thought he’d had shattered like a fragile piece of glass, with each of the fragments falling and stabbing deeper and deeper into his soul.

He easily succumbed to the voice that told him that he was worthless and that there was nothing left, absolutely nothing to hold him to this earth. He accepted what this voice told him and reached for the needle that the nurse had accidentally left by his bed, until he had a nagging though – “the voice whispering in his ear had only begun the day that the mysterious object had appeared”.

He quickly dismissed the idea and decided that it was simply coincidence and not worth pondering.

In his reflections he failed to notice the dark figure sitting in the corner of his room watching his every move. It decided that it had underestimated this individual; the young man that was lying in that bed had an uncanny ability to survive the un-survivable. It still wasn’t sure how he had survived the fall from that building, even though it had been there watching him it was confused. Nothing it had encounter thus far on this world has intrigued it thus. It heard footsteps approaching; withdrawing its black tendrils that had covered the room and faded slowly into the wall, promising itself that it would be back…