Palouse Writing Project - 11. Testing an Excerpt from Palouse

[This is a test to see if writing a section of a chapter with accompanying music works. The music URL is in the footnote, so play it at the appropriate place in the chapter. The only thing you need to know about the story is that they are in David’s loft apartment after a dinner there and that Micah and David have become closer each week, their relationship expressed in the music they play together.]

* * * * * * * *

The room had darkened as night fell outside, and the low light from a small lamp near the table provided the only interior illumination; other light came from the glow of the streetlights that filtered through the curtained windows. The result was that the dark wood around the window frames stood stark against the soft gray of the interior flat walls. The planks of the hardwood floor glistened from the light that crept in from outside.

Micah reached into his backpack and took out a CD. He walked across the room and inserted it into David’s player. He removed the fabrics hanging from the cord that divided the room, and threw them on David’s roommate’s bed, opening up the full hardwood floor that lay between the beds. The whole of the room looked far larger than twice the half that the fabric curtain had left for David.

David was puzzled. It seemed an awfully elaborate introduction to a CD.

“Come,” Micah said, holding out his hand. “I found this piece, and I fell in love with it. I ordered a cello and violin transcription for us. Listen and dance with me.” He pressed the Play button and stepped to the edge of the hardwood floor, taking David’s left hand in his right, lining his body up side by side with David.

The minuet from Boccherini’s Musica notturna delle strade di Madrid[1] in all its joy rose from the speakers. “Pretend that we’ve been transported to Louis XVI’s court.” Micah led them both off with a dance step forward. At first surprised, David was began to follow Micah’s confident lead. Micah guided David forward—step-slide-step, step-slide-step—the two of them side by side, hand in hand, Micah’s head held proud. By the time they reach the end of the floor near the kitchen, David had figured out the basic movements; he’d seen enough elaborate dances in movies to imitate, at least. He managed to make a graceful turnaround, switching hands with Micah as though 18^th Century dances were the most common thing in the world to do on a Saturday [?] night in Walla Walla, Washington.

In the minuet, when the cello comes in, the play of theme strengthens. Micah took this cue to lead David more spiritedly across the floor, with a vigor that amused David. In the middle of the piece the music turns to a violin trill; Micah broke the hand hold, leaving David standing still in the middle of the floor. Micah began circling him in a sort-of courtship dance, one arm bent behind his back the other across his front, maintaining full eye contact as he danced, interrupted only momentarily as he moved from one side of David’s back to another, bobbing with the strums of the stringed instruments. Micah’s flirting eyes shone in the dim light of the room—this court of his imagining.

When the strings began strumming the opening theme again, Micah took David’s hand, and they resumed their gallant dance back and forth across the floor. The smiles got wider as their comfort in dancing rose—step-slide-step, step-slide-step.

Near the end of the minuet, the violin trill appears. In response, Micah dropped David’s hand again and circled him with his solo dance. The minuet comes to a sharp crescendo then ceases abruptly. At that point, Micah spun himself around to end in a face-to-face stance with David, stopping on the final beat and looking intently into David’s eyes, his lips only inches away from David’s.

The two young men gazed at each other for a full minute. Tension and energy shone in their eyes and expressions.

Then Micah grinned and broke the mood: “I need to get back to the dorm.” He took the CD out of the changer and put it back in its case, picked up his coat, checked to see that his car keys were in the pocket, thanked David for the dinner and was down the stairs and at the door.

“You choreographed this, didn’t you?”

“Moi?’

“You ’re crazy, you know,” David said with a grin as Micah was closing the door.

Micah hesitated, turned and blew him a kiss and a wave as he went out the door.

[Does this idea work? What would you change that might make it work better? Or, should I drop the notion entirely?]

rec

[1] Night music from the streets of Madrid. The piece was highlighted in the film Master and Commander: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He9f4J-C-uA