The Innocence Of Night - 4. Chapter 4

The Innocence Of Night

Chapter 4

How his hair flowed with the wind, how his hair covered his eyes. The way his frame is built, once you looked you had to look again. Like creamy silk butter that you couldn’t just sit back and let nothing happen. I mean what sane person would, what insane person wouldn’t? Anyways, at that moment I felt my member rising, like with every amazing picture that flashed before my eyes of Asher drove my member to throb, pulse, and ache. I had to take care of this, but how? I don’t want my mother finding out that I was in a fight or anything. So I opened my door poked my head out in both directions, nope all clear…Bath time or shower. As I was walking towards the bathroom past my mother’s room I heard a noise coming from the first level of the house. I thought it was my mother. I leaned over the side railing where I kept hitting myself every morning. That Bitch Hurt! Anyways, I tried to see if I could see or hear anything like my mother in any part of the house, but I couldn’t so like whatever, right. I turned and jumped 2 feet off the floor once I saw my mother standing right beside me. I didn’t hear her or anything how creepy right. She didn’t say anything at first…My heart started to race thinking of the last time we spoke, it wasn’t very nice. Sweat started to build up and before I knew what was happening I started to wince and my bottom lip stuck out to quiver for a moment. I had to physically restrain myself from crying, that’s when my mother opened her mouth. I stood there just wanting to get away before she did anything harsh to me. I crept past her hoping not to get anything out this, but needless to say she grabbed my arm. The arm that is broken mind you. Once she gripped it I wanted to cry so fucking bad that even thinking about crying out would have let on that I was in a fight, so bared up and grinned it. “Oww…Oww…Oww…Let go Dammit!” I told her.

“What did you….does this hurt, too bad…Get over it, where hell have you been mister!”

“I needed to clear my head, that’s all.”

“Oh really…I don’t believe that one bit. Were you out doing drugs…Alcohol or something?” She demanded me to tell her.

“No mom, never…You should know …You’re the only one that does it.”

“I outta hit you for saying that! But I’m drunk right now and I’m not going to kill my buzz over you…DO YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE FUNNY FOR SAYING THAT SHIT, HUH DO YA?!” As you can tell she was yelling at me, with her voice cracking.

I could tell that my mother was way past angry right now and I didn’t really want to deal with it right at this moment. I didn’t want to tell her about tonight, she’s way drunk. She was already pissed when I left! Therefore, the only way to get out of this fast was to lie. Let’s just say that I’m sorry for what I have done and I won’t do it again, and that I promise. Let’s see if this works…Hardly doubtful but it could.

“Mom I’m sorry for leaving like that, I just needed to clear my head…I promise I won’t ever do it again!”

“You better, If you know what is good you!” She said as she turned back towards her bedroom, almost slamming the door when she entered it.

She left me alone for now. I moved into the bathroom, shutting it and locking it. I took a look in the mirror and what I saw, was not what I expected to make me jump. I fell back against the wall nearly hitting my head on the towel hook and that would’ve hurt a lot! I was scared to even look in the mirror again after that first glimpse of me. It took me into shock, but I got up on weak legs and looked. I was prepared to make myself look at what the kids had done to me. They put bruises that are black and blue, some purple and some you couldn’t even tell, but once I put my hand lightly on the bruises that didn’t even form yet…I winced!! I couldn’t begin to believe what they have done to me. I bit my quivering lip just to stop from crying. I turned around and realized that there was more to be seen. My face said it all! Shoe prints were all over me, one look made tears form. The first memory made me realize just how much more misery I had.

This time next week, hopefully, things will be better, let us hope that I last that long. Thank god that I got suspended, no more going to that school of torture, no more pain or suffering! I snapped back into reality just to see how much of my body was bruised. I really didn’t want to touch or see anymore. There was so much pain from the torture and misery from every kick that I remembered. I felt over again. In the exact, same spot and place. I took my gaze off of the mirror and reached over to turn on the water. Thank god! I get to take a shower, before my mother wakes up. I slowly let myself be consumed by the water. I never thought water could feel so good cascading over my shoulders and down my back. The warm water sent shivers up my spine and I was in heaven never wanting to let this feeling go. I’m so glad that they didn’t have knives on them or this shower would have felt like hell! I let the water cascade over my hair and it felt soooo very good… I wanted it to last forever. I put some shampoo in my hair and worked it in. Only to remember certain little details as they flooded back into my mind, like Sam and how he would laugh and giggle. He would fling his hair around to cover his eyes from me. What a blessing it was to have had someone like that, at one time. His hair smelt so good and his friendly voice was so soothing. I just wanted remember the part where he would walk in front of me and tease me with his ass…*Omigod* that ass of his. What made it worst is the next part, when he smacked me across the face!

I started to cry in the shower and losing my control at having the cutest guy that liked me smack me. Me! Then my mind shifted… Asher sitting next to me on that bench and that memory I will never forget as long as I live, it will stay in my dreams. Just the thought of him and his sweet ass, plus other things like his eyes. Oh my god, how I just wanted to reach out and touch him all over again. I wanted to, believe me, I wanted to, but as the memory went on I got even more horny. Just by the next image alone, it was where in my fantasy Asher and I were making out. I couldn’t see his eyes, only the golden orbs or whatever…*giggle*… I just had to squeeze my pulsating hard cock, just to jerk it was an organism that you wouldn’t believe. Every detail of him was in high definition in my head. I remembered every color and every sound - just everything. The way his hair flowed with the wind, how he was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, the organism just made the memory even more vivid! Now this is what I like! I want to take showers like this more often, if you know what I mean. The more I tried to jack off, the more I wanted Asher here with me. the more I wanted him to suck me off and the more I just I wanted him to fuck me. Or I fuck him.

That shower I will never forget, it was one of the best jack off sessions *IN* my life! I soon turned back to reality to find that I was still alone in the world, where no one really cared for me. The more I wanted to believe that this place had something for me, the more I just wanted to forget everyone and everything. I hopped out of the shower and looked back into the mirror where I saw my reflection once again, this time though it seemed that my eyes were playing tricks with me. One minute I would see the bruises and the next I didn’t. I must be getting tired as nothing seemed to be right at the moment. I see the bruises, but once I blink their gone! I must be going insane or something, it must be from the fight! I might have a concussion, and here comes the headache. GREAT that’s exactly what I need now! I threw my hands up in the air to signal that I have finally given up.

I put my hands to my head to massage the beating that was in sync with my heart. It was so hard to concentrate and so hard to think straight. I turned away from the mirror and the beating stopped, I mean like STOPPED! I turned back around and the beating started again. WHAT THE FUCK!!! What is going on with me! I just thought it was a freak occurrence or something. My mind must be going through something. I just dropped it and shrugged it off before I left the bathroom. I messed my hair up to look descent for bed. While leaving I took one more look in the mirror and this time no headache no throbbing or beating, “Weird!” I said aloud.

I flipped off the light, and wow, how dark the room became, “hehehe hahaha.” I laughed at my own amusement in these dark times. As I walked I felt a breeze that ran cold with every move I made, it never felt better at that moment. It was like butter that you couldn’t touch or that breathe you wanted to catch…hehe. I finally got to the door that I longed to reach to only spend hours in that bed, to know it would feel worthless like time wasted on something that should have been elsewhere. I placed one foot in there and it didn’t feel right, like I was missing the other half of my soul. I couldn’t figure it out. I just felt like I wasn’t supposed to be like this. I should be somewhat happy; I mean my mother didn’t kill me for coming home late and that’s a plus. I know it couldn’t be that fight that happened shortly before coming back to this hellhole. I know it couldn’t have been Asher, could it?!? I mean, I just met the guy. I can’t be lost to my other half in this short time, but who know, right? Maybe my body just needs to rest after all this night and morning has been an interesting one, right? Let’s sleep before anything else decides to show its ugly face. I stepped closer to my bed still with my towel around my waist. I didn’t even feel like jacking off anymore, sleep is what I needed more than anything. Giving myself pleasure would be good, but not at this moment. ‘YAWN’ ‘SNIFFLE’ ‘SNEEZE’ what a great combination, right?…*giggle*… I finally decided to just collapse on the bed and as soon as I hit the bed I was out like a light.

The dream that night I will never forget, it was one of the most eventful dreams I think I ever had in my life time… The dream went like this.

***********

The Dream

I found myself waking up in a lot that I thought was home and to my surprise it wasn’t, totally the opposite. The wind blew in my face as I tried to open my eyes. The sun was too bright for me to see, and then I heard a familiar voice, that voice was Sam. He talked to me as if nothing has happened to him or me! To my surprise he was just beginning, but I didn’t really want to talk to him after what he did to me yesterday. I just wanted him to leave me alone for the moment, while I tried to figure out what was happening. I still couldn’t see anything as the sun was still beating down on me so hard that the only thing I had was my sense of hearing. So I followed his voice to every direction he turned. I think he was walking a circle around me by the way his voice traveled, but I couldn’t have been certain of that… This is a dream after all, right? The sun went behind some clouds and at that moment I was able to open my eyes for the first in this dream. While Sam was talking to me, I looked around and what I saw shocked me. I was back on the pier looking over the edge of the rail. Waiting for the waves to take me into their awaiting embrace, maybe this is real; it feels very real, enough for me.

The next thing I knew Sam pushed me over the edge as I cried out loud, “Sam How Could You Do This to Me! I Thought You Loved Me!?” I fell into the water with a splash in the face. The water felt like daggers jabbing me in the skin over and over again. I tried to swim up the surface, but every time I kicked, it felt like someone was grabbing me and holding me. When I looked down my ankle was tied to a cinder block with a chain and a handcuff. I fought and fought, to get my muscles to work, but to no avail. The water was too cold and I felt numb. I had to accept my destiny in this dream… It felt so real, I felt like I were really drowning! Maybe in your case someone helped you, but no one helped me, well needless to say that’s what I felt. I was a drowning boy with no one to grab onto, no one to help me get out of this water as I tried to fight even more. I felt my body go numb starting at my feet and it escaladed to my knees. I stopped kicking, all of a sudden, as I realized what this dream was doing to me. When I let the water take over my body, I prayed to GOD that he would help me escape this destiny of a dream. To go to a place that wasn’t this one.

I think god must have heard me because when I finally said “AMEN” I opened my eyes and I was in a different place totally. I was back in the hospital going down that same hallway with the doctors working on me, but this time instead of them being nice like before. They had strapped me to the bed and told me that, I should have listened when they told me to be careful. I thought I was! I guess I wasn’t trying hard enough. They slammed me against the wall and laughed at my expense. The guy that first came to me was the same guy that started talking last time. I thought, “Oh great! What to do? What do these guys have in mind this time? I really didn’t want to fight anymore. I’m willing to give myself over at anytime.” He came closer and closer to me until he was on top of me.

“Hey squirt, didn’t we tell you last time to be careful? Well apparently you didn’t try hard enough, if you landed here of all places. Since you’re here, why not just give you the tour of the place. We can’t have you around here not knowing where you are going, can we?” He said with smug look plastered on his face.

“I thought I was being careful, I guess not if I ended up here again, Right? Well thank you for being nice to me this time. I mean I thought for sure that you were going to have them KICK MY ASS AGAIN…hehehe… I guess I’m wrong, sorry for accusing you! What is this place first of all? I never saw or even heard of it?!” I asked.

“Well first of all, I could change my mind if you give me a reason to sick the gang on you, second your welcome. And this place is called The ARCH WAY; it’s under China so yea be lucky.” He said.

“If I can ask, could I have your name, and Wow under China? Sooo cool!” I said all excited.

The gang all fell to the floor laughing at my expense, me, NOT knowing where it was.

“My name is Josh, nothing else, and you ain’t getting the others’ names either, so yea!”

“Thank you very much for that Josh, do you know my name? If not I will tell you right now, it’s Jeremy!”

“Well pleased to meet you Jeremy!”

“How big is this place?”

“Well it depends on what you call big? Well it could be big, but I don’t think so.”

“Ok, thank you. Well can we get started? I want wake up soon.”

“Sure Squirt, I mean Jeremy.”

Josh lead the way through the underground passages of China, it was pretty sweet if you ask me. I mean how many times in their life time does someone like me get a chance to see new places? We came to a stop after walking through the passages. Well I guess it wasn’t that big! We maybe, only, walked a mile.

*********

Back to reality

After that, I woke up in my room. I was so glad to be back to reality and I couldn’t believe that I went through a passage. I blinked a couple of times and looked at the clock by my bed; it read 7:30 am. What to do today? Since I cannot go school, there must be something I can do? I know! Once my mother leaves for work, I will just come back here and chill or go the mall and mess around there. So many possibilities! I can’t seem to pick one that would take my mind off the issues that my life as thrown at me. Well I guess I can get up, no sense of staying in bed on a day like this! I walked over to my dresser to pick out something for today… Let’s see, I got a blue t-shirt with a number 4 on it or a black t-shirt saying ‘Shut Up!’? Black t-shirt it is and dark green pants that complement the black t-shirt. After that, I wanted to run to the bathroom, but as soon as I started to, my bruises came back to haunt me. So I walked to the bathroom to go pee. Once I was done with that, I stopped over by the mirror to check myself out. I mean I looked better than what I did at 5am, but the bruises are still there. Makeup time just in case I see someone that would want to take me away. I can’t have that now, can I?

Once I got the makeup on, I thought that I looked good for someone covering up bruises from a morning like mine. I wish things were different. But I don’t see that happening, especially, in this house let alone anywhere else. I mean, I loved meeting Asher and Josh. It’s just that certain stuff had to happen for me to meet those people. Asher, well maybe he was a different story, but along the lines of meeting Josh it was too right. OK, enough thinking, time for my plan to go in full swing, and hopefully to my advantage. I walked out of the bathroom and down the stairway. Luckily, I didn’t hit that damn rail this time. I walked into the kitchen and I didn’t see my mother or anything. But I found a note waiting for me.

It said:

Dear Jeremy Hi son! After that fall out yesterday, you showed how you can handle yourself upon anything that might seem to show you any problems. The reason I’m writing this letter to you is that…I left you there to do whatever you wish. I didn’t want it to come to this but I have no other choice. I didn’t want to tell you this in person so I wrote you this letter. I never really loved you I was just taking care of you, your not my responsible anymore so enjoy whatever you have going for you. By the time you get this I will be long gone and you wont be able to find me. So like whatever have a good life I guess, I never was meant to be a mother anyways. After you father died I took on the role of taking care of you…THAT WAS A MISTAKE!!! Sorry to tell you this but you needed to know, your worthless and you won’t amount to anything. Like those bruises you have if I cared any…don’t you think I would of at least asked you what happened. But no I just left you alone. So whatever go fucking crazy for all I care. p.s you’re a p.o.s son anyways Also I left you the house I already signed the stupid fucking thing so yea.. Do whatever with it… als

Dear Jeremy,

After that fall out yesterday, you showed me how well you could handle yourself when you encounter anything that might seem to be a problem. The reason I’m writing this letter to you is that…I left you! There, to do whatever you wish. I didn’t want it to come to this but I have no other choice. I didn’t want to tell you this in person so I wrote you this letter. I never really loved you, I was just taking care of you. You are not my responsible anymore, so enjoy whatever you have going for you. By the time you read this, I will be long gone and you won’t be able to find me.

As I finished reading that first paragraph, I was happy, but also so, so sad at what I have read. I couldn’t believe that my mother would write such things and as I read that paragraph once more, the tears started to come, slowly at first.

So like whatever, have a good life I guess. I never was meant to be a mother anyways. After your father died I took on the role of taking care of you…THAT WAS A MISTAKE!!! Sorry to tell you this but you needed to know it. You are worthless, you won’t amount to anything. Like those bruises you have, if I cared any…don’t you think I would have at least asked you what happened? No, I just left you alone. Therefore, go fucking crazy for all I care.

P.s. you’re a p.o.s (Piece of Shit) son anyways. Oh yeah, I left you the house. I have already signed the stupid fucking thing over to you, so yea… Do whatever with it… Bye!

After reading that letter, I collapsed on the floor crying my eyes out. Just when I thought I was over crying I cried again, twice as hard as the last. I didn’t know why my mother did this to me. I didn’t want this to happen, period. But I guess things happen for a reason. I don’t know how long I sat there but it must have been getting late because the sun was already going down. So I figured why not just go by the pier again, and see if Asher is there to help me out. If not, I might as well just dive right in and end my life. Just like my mother said I won’t amount to anything. What a life this one turned out to be, *sniffle*.

Once I got up, I looked over at the stove and the clock read 7:30pm. I thought “Damn I MUST have been crying for a very long time. I didn’t notice anything changing, well what a life anyways, RIGHT?!” I looked in the fridge to find something to eat. I pulled out some milk and got some cereal, coco puffs to be exact (giggle).

I still couldn’t believe that she would just leave me here alone to rot! What a mother she is, just wait until I see her again. I WON’T ANY HAVE MERCY ON HER! I ate the cereal and put the bowl in the sink to be washed, whenever. After that I went upstairs and got changed into something that didn’t have burgers or sweat on it. When I die tonight I want to look good going to heaven, that is, IF there is such a place. I left the house after making sure to lock it and walked down the same street that I got the shit beat out of me. I turned the corner to go to the river. It didn’t take me long to walk, I love exercising.

When I got there, I just took off towards the railing. Once there, I climbed on the top of the last bar when someone grabbed me. I was so scared to turn around and look, but I wanted to know if it was the person that I thought it was. I turned around, slipped and fell off the railing and smacked the river with my back *it stung and burnt.*

The water was ice cold tonight and it felt like daggers jabbing into my skin, I will never forget this night! EVER!

“Asher, help me please?”…“Please… I can’t”…..“Asher, PLEASE SAVE ME!!!”

“Hold on! I’m on my way!” Asher said jumping over the railing bar.

I went under and started to think that this wasn’t such a good idea. I guess it seems I’m going to die now, and I won’t be with the one person I like. But just like my mother said “I’m worthless, and I won’t amount to anything.” I wished my father were here!

He would know what to do…I miss him sooo! Once my air ran out, I couldn’t last anymore. So I let go and let the current take me away from this god awful place.

(Jeremy is unconscious)

Asher grabbed a hold of Jeremy and swam him back to the surface. Asher was dragging a limp body that he thought for sure was dead. Asher tried CPR on Jeremy, but it didn’t seem to be enough, so he tried again and again. Finally when Asher thought he couldn’t do it anymore, Jeremy came back spurting water from his mouth. Asher didn’t think to use his extra for Jeremy, because he knew all the pain it would bring with it, so he didn’t. Jeremy opened his eyes to find the same cutie that tried to help him before he fell into the water.

(Back to Jeremy)

“How long have I been out? I’m sorry I tried to kill myself, after I promised you that I wouldn’t!” I said trying to put all the emotion I could in my voice.

“It’s ok, I know you that didn’t mean to try to kill yourself…I think?! Just don’t move yet. You might have some head damage. I can fix it if there is any but still don’t move!” Asher said trying to sound like he knew everything was going to be okay.

“I really am sorry… you’re soaked, I shouldn’t have been so stupid to think my life was over. You came into my life and I thanked god that someone understood me…I…I… I’m sorry for what I made you do. I will never be that stupid again. Just don’t leave me like the rest of humanity did, please?!” I said with a hint of worry in my voice

“I will never leave you as long as I live. Don’t be sorry or call yourself stupid that isn’t nice to say about someone, especially, if it’s about yourself…I had learn that the hard way with Blake and the others. You will meet them soon hopefully, provided if you don’t try to kill yourself again! AM I CLEAR?! No more trying to commit to suicide, got it mister?!” Asher said it with worry and force behind his words. I knew by the way Asher said, he meant it.

I started to think about what Asher had just said, there are friends of his that he wants me to meet. Oh great, what if they find out about me then I’m screwed. I didn’t want to be rejected yet again by people I barely even knew, let alone people that Asher trusts with his life. I snapped out of my train of thought just when Asher asked me something. “Are you going to be okay? If so, can I stand up?” I giggled at the thought, and walked over to the bench where we first met.

I didn’t realize just yet how much of an impact Asher had made on me. I mean I just met him like a day ago, or have I seen him before? Asher asked me a question, which I didn’t get at the time, so I asked him to say it again.

“What did you just ask me? I have my suspicions about you, but I still want to know. Just ask me again, whatever you just said, ok? Please?”

“Sure you can ask me anything, right after I ask you this question… Why did you come back here tonight? I mean I come out here to get away from what life I have in the darkness. But for the past few days you have been coming out here a lot and I want to know why. Can you at least give me that answer even though I have a pretty good idea? I still want to know?!” Asher said giving away that he was worried about the out come.

“Well sure, let’s see only reason I came out here for the past few days and especially tonight was that there is this guy that I really liked and I thought he liked me back. Until, he smacked me across the face at school, after I got into a fight with a longtime ex friend of mine. Well, Sam broke my heart when he did that. I ran away from him! And just for him to show up at my bedroom door asking for forgiveness, I told him no. I didn’t want anything from him ever again. And that’s when my adoptive mother found out that I got into a fight, but what she didn’t know was that I got suspended for that. Anyways, she started to yell at me and I left. I climbed down the tree next to the house to find Sam waiting for me. I still didn’t want to talk to him so I brushed him off. I came out here and that’s when I met you. But that isn’t the bad part of why I’m out here tonight,” I needed to take a breather, before I continued.

“… After I left here last night, I got jumped by these kids. Plus, I can’t forget about Brandon, the one I beat up yesterday. Well they kicked my ass until I slipped into like a sub-coma, kind of something between a coma and still alive, I guess. Anyways in the dream, I got my ass kicked in there too. Well let’s just say that my adoptive mother grabbed my arm, the one that is busted and she started her little bitch fit with me… let’s just say, I just let her win,” I had to take another breather to continue.

“… When I got the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and that was a mistake. The mirror reflected way too many bruises and scrapes. I had to look away. I took a shower. Well after the shower I went to bed and found myself surrounded by the same people in the first dream, but not before the dream with Sam. Well this time, the big man on campus was nice to me. But I woke up to find out that my adoptive mother had left me and she left me a note! I have the note. It’s still in the back pack I brought. It should be over there if you want to read it. And well that’s when I gave up living after that note, if I didn’t catch you out here tonight I was going to really kill myself. You have to read the note to understand. Did you grab it yet? Good, let’s read it together this time.”

Dear Jeremy,

After that fall out yesterday, you showed me how well you could handle yourself when you encounter anything that might seem to be a problem. The reason I’m writing this letter to you is that…I left you! There, to do whatever you wish. I didn’t want it to come to this but I have no other choice. I didn’t want to tell you this in person so I wrote you this letter. I never really loved you, I was just taking care of you. You are not my responsible anymore, so enjoy whatever you have going for you. By the time you read this, I will be long gone and you won’t be able to find me.

This time after I was done with the first paragraph, I still had some tears but not that much this time. I had Asher here with me, to keep me safe. I smiled at that.

So like whatever, have a good life I guess. I never was meant to be a mother anyways. After your father died I took on the role of taking care of you…THAT WAS A MISTAKE!!! Sorry to tell you this but you needed to know it. You are worthless, you won’t amount to anything. Like those bruises you have, if I cared any…don’t you think I would have at least asked you what happened? No, I just left you alone. Therefore, go fucking crazy for all I care.

P.s. you’re a p.o.s (Piece of Shit) son anyways. Oh yeah, I left you the house. I have already signed the stupid fucking thing over to you, so yea… Do whatever with it… Bye!

“Wow, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that! It just doesn’t make sense how a woman like that would treat someone like you with nothing, but hate! I feel so fucking lousy, but I don’t feel bad about it because I went through the same thing somewhat. Although I can’t believe she wouldn’t take care of you, but leave you like that…at least you got a house out of it, Right!?” Asher said, trying to seem both understanding and respectful of my needs.

“I do understand what you are trying to say, but I still can’t help but feeling left out… like yesterdays trash! I can’t believe Carrie would do this to me! Just leave me a note telling me that I’m worthless and I won’t amount to anything. After my adoptive dad died I felt something like this was going to happen, but not like this. I feel sorry for her. I don’t hate her, I mean I do, but what kid wouldn’t, right? Please hold me while I try to figure this out?!” I asked while trying to hold back my tears.

“Sure! Come here and let it out, after 14 years of putting up with that crap. Just let it out because you can’t hold it in forever, it will eat you from the inside out!” Asher said holding me and letting me cry myself silly!

To Be Continued. Comment, Review, Vote! Remijay and Ricky_writer

Until Next Time

((Hugz—Kizzes))

Remijay <3 *** Ricky <3