The Pendleton Omens - 6. Chapter 6

Friday night, Jamie found me at Noah’s, at least by phone. “What you doing, Dad?” she asked.

“Good thing she can’t see,” I whispered to Noah.

We were in his tub. It’s a big tub. Noah’s six-three. It’s also noisy, and it’s a good thing Noah killed the water jets as I picked up my phone. The rumble would have given us away.

“I’m relaxing,” I said. I didn’t lie.

“Can you talk?”

“For a little. How you doing?”

“I’m busy. You know how it is. And I’ve mostly been ignoring Mom all week. You know how I get when I’ve got a paper due. But I’ve been listening to her messages, so I’ve texted Scoot two or three times. Then I e-mailed him. That was after I tried leaving phone messages which got nowhere.”

“Your mom said his machine is full.”

“His cell, too. It goes straight to a recording.”

“He’s probably off shooting somewhere. The cell might not even work where he is.”

“I know that. That’s why I’m not worried about Scoot.”

“Then what are you calling about?”

“Mom.”

I’d heard this before.

“Yeah?” I went on.

“Well, you know what happens when she’s possessed. And she’s possessed about this. She’s positive Scoot’s lying somewhere dead in an alley.”

“Do they have alleys in LA?” I asked, trying to lighten her up. And to keep Noah from tickling me.

Noah nodded. Jamie said, “Yes.”

“Well, I can assure you Scoot’s not dead in one. What would he even be doing there?”

“Shooting,” she answered. “Maybe someone tried to steal his camera.”

I could imagine that. Scoot went places with a camera that I wouldn’t go in a tank. And I could picture him trying to talk his way out of a jam. But in the end, he’d know to give up his equipment.

“He’s not stupid,” I told Jamie. “In fact, you’re both a lot smarter than your mom and I were at your age.”

“Well, Mom’s not being bright now.”

“It’s not her fault. You know how she gets about Scoot’s adventures.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

I’d been trying to lead Jamie away from Sharon

“I think Scoot’s off somewhere,” she went on. “Possibly someplace not even dangerous, but he didn’t want Mom to worry, so he didn’t tell any of us. Only now Mom’s more worried about something that’s probably not important than she would be if he’d told her.”

I laughed. “Sounds right to me.” I also laughed because Noah was tickling me.

“So if you could just tell her that,” Jamie continued. “Or if we could both tell her. If we both called her to say we’d heard from Scoot separately, and that he’s fine, then maybe she’d stop phoning me six times a day.”

“It’s not good lying to your mother,” I said.

“I want her to relax.”

“But why would Scoot tell you and me something and not tell her? That’s the big hole.”

“Because she worries,” Jamie said simply.

“So you think Scoot’s doing something borderline dangerous? And you think we should calm your mother by telling her he’s not? And what happens if he actually gets hurt?”

“He won’t get hurt.”

“But if he does?”

“You can’t even think like that, Dad. You’ve got to trust him.”

“I do. Almost completely. And I wish he’d told us what he’s doing. But I don’t want to get involved in lying.”

“Like you’ve never done that before.”

That kind of shut me down. Especially since I was staring at Noah, who was grinning and had no idea what Jamie had said.

“Sorry. I went too far,” Jamie suddenly tacked on.

“Thanks,” I replied. “I appreciate that. And I don’t think what you’re suggesting has anything to do with what I’ve done in the past.” Through our whole divorce, Sharon and I had worked to keep our kids neutral. “And if you really think that stretching the truth to your mother will let her relax a bit, maybe that’s not the worst idea. But instead of suggesting that Scoot’s doing something like shooting polar bears at the North Pole, I’d simply remind her of some of the things he’s done before. And how we laughed about them later.”

“You think that will help?”

“This is your idea, James.”

“Well, I think it will help.”

I laughed. “More importantly, it will get her off your mind for the next couple of days.”

“I’ve got nothing but papers for the next three months.”

I laughed again. “So I’ve heard.”

Then she laughed. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, too.”

“So you’ll talk to Mom?”

“After you do.”

“Good. I’ll text you what I say. And say hello to Noah for me.”

“He says hi back.”

I pointed to Noah. He looked confused.

“Has he been listening to this?” Jamie asked.

“No.”

“Just your end?”

“Yeah, well...

“Tell him you make me crazy.” And she clicked off.

I laughed again. “What?” Noah asked.

“My kids are great but both nuts,” I said. “And it’s all my fault.”

He considered. “Well, half.”

“Nah, if I hadn’t chosen Sharon, I could’ve improved their gene pool. Doesn’t that make it more than half?”

“Probably Sharon was a good choice. At the time.”

“She still is.”

“But not for you.”

“No.”

“Good.” He was grinning again.

“But I sure in hell would like to know where my goddamned son is.”