If you love something do you have to let it go? - 1. Chapter 1

Future:

“Can’t keep my hands to myself” the alarm. I look over at the clock…4 a.m. WHY!?!?! Why is my alarm going off at 4 in the morning? I never set my alarm for this earlier in the morning; I don’t have class till 9 today I thought to myself as the song continued. “No matter how hard I’m trying to…” I shut it off quickly hopefully not waking him up, but as I look over to the other side of the bed he is already awake staring at me with excited eyes. I looked at him with confusion and irritation but he kept looking at me with excitement like nothing could ruin this moment for him.

As I stared I finally decided it was time to ask why he had that adorable grin on his face that was really irritating me right now due to it being 4 in the morning. “Babe why is my alarm set for 4 and why are you giving me that face like you just won the lottery?”

He stared at me contemplating on telling me but I guess his excitement won because he soon stated “I set it because I have a surprise for you so we need to get up.” I stared at him like he was fucking crazy there was no way I was going to get up now I wanted more sleep until class. He wasn’t having it because he dragged me out of the bed laughing the whole time as I was struggling as he pulled on my legs. “Come on it’s one morning you can get up early” he said why laughing.

I just groaned and told him to let me go back to bed, but of course both of us being very stubborn meant that we were at an impasse. But of course he won due to my lack of motivation to do anything. I slowly got up from the spot where I landed from where I was dragged off the bed and went to the closet. He was in the bathroom so I decided to get dressed first. Once I had some clothes on, a pair of jeans, t-shirt, a sweatshirt, socks and my UGG moccasins. He walked out of the bathroom a few seconds before I walked out of the closet so we switched at that point. I just realized how badly I needed to pee. Guess drinking three glasses of rum and coke before bed will do that to you.

As we both finished getting ready he was still smiling. At that point I couldn’t help but smile a little too, but I was still irritated that it was 4 in the morning. LIKE WHO DOES THAT? This better be good! I said to myself with a frown on my face and a look of exhaustion. He of course noticed my frown and walked over and kissed my forehead. “Come on it’s only one morning you will survive and I promise you will really love this!” he stated with a huge bright smile. A smile you just couldn’t ignore or be mad at. So of course being me I just sighed and smiled at him.

He took my hand and led us out to the car. He never told me where we were going, even when I asked several times as we were making our way to the car. Ugh why must he keep it a secret? Whatever is all I told myself as I hurried into the car seeking warmth from the ever so brisk autumn air. He went to the truck of the car to put some things in, I didn’t know what because honestly I didn’t even notice he had anything in his hands. I guess the lack of sleep can do that to you, I laughed and just waited for him to get into the driver’s seat. As he got in he started the car and I instantly reached over to put on the heat. I groaned loudly not thinking that since the car has been sitting all that’s coming out is cold air. “BABE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME” complaining as I got a full face of cold air.

He laughed at me and reached over and took his hands and placed them on my face, cupping my cheeks between his two hands. “Hun I promise I wouldn’t do this without a good reason. I promise you will enjoy this. Okay?” After he said that he placed his lips on mine. The warmth of his lips, the softness, the peace it brought to me. All I could do was sigh again and just lean back and enjoy the ride.

After a little while the heat started kicking in and I started to look out the window trying to figure out where the hell we were going. BUT IT WAS DARK. I couldn’t see much just passing trees. I looked over to him and he was silently driving enjoying the ride, I guess I could enjoy it too. At this point I was kind of excited to see where we were going. I jokingly stated “so is this the part where you take me to an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere and kill me like the rest of your victims?” I chuckled as I said it and looked over at him expecting him to laugh too. But he looked serious. “Umm….it was just a joke…I hope..?” I got nervous at that point, but why should I? I have known him for over a year now and things were going great.

All of a sudden he bursts out laughing making me jump in my seat a little. I just looked over at him and he’s just cracking up and I end up laughing at myself. “Hun dam do I love you. I really do and no this isn’t the part where I take you to an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere and kill you. That’s just silly, that is next month when the snow starts to fall so I can burry your body.” He was smiling and laughing when I looked at him.

“Asshole!” but I didn’t mean it I was laughing just as hard at that point. I loved him…a lot and I knew he loved me.

Time went by and the sky started to get a little lighter. He said we were almost there and we should be there in a few minutes. At this point I was excited to see what the surprise was. He pulled off the road onto a dirt road, this was odd to me but I just let it go. He drove for a few more minutes until he stopped and put the car in park. “WERE HERE” he stated excitedly. God he was such a child with that smirk and enthusiasm. He got out of the car and walked back to the trunk of the car. I followed suit and decided I would help him unload the car. As I walked back I saw that he started taking out this giant blanket I never saw before. I looked at him with a questioned look and he just smiled and said “All in good time babe all in good time.” He shut the trunk put the blanket in one arm and then he took my hand leading me into the woods.

I would be lying if I didn’t say the view and the smells of the woods weren’t beautiful. It was Autumn after all…the smells of the leaves and the tress. The crisp air flowing through every living thing. But it was very cold I just wanted to wrap myself in the blanket he was carrying, but I kept walking and watched where I was going so I didn’t trip. He on the other hand knew exactly where he was going so he didn’t even bother to look at the ground even though it was still quiet dark out. He started to slow down and he was looking which direction he needed to go since there was a fork in the road. “Did you just get us lost?” I couldn’t help myself from saying.

He was looking at the trees and then he started towards the right path remembering where he was going. “Nope I just had to remember which way it was for a second” as he chuckled while he walked. I stared at him with another questioned look, but I shrugged it off because I’m the one with no sense of direction he is perfectly fine. I laughed at myself not realizing it and he stared at me. “What are you laughing at mister? Remember you’re the one with no sense of direction not me. I won’t get us lost like you” he said as a matter of fact.

I laughed again saying “Yes I know that’s why I was laughing. I was just thinking the exact same thing. I thought it was pretty funny…and true.” He chuckled and kissed my forehead again. I blushed; I loved when he did that. It made me feel…safe almost. Everything that I have been through it is something that I have learned to cherish, feeling safe. It is something that I loved most about him, he was always so caring and compassionate that makes me feel like nothing can hurt me anymore.

Soon he stopped, I looked around and I saw this amazing tree that was on top of a hill. I honestly didn’t realize we went uphill, I was too busy lost in thought as we made our way to this place. He smiled at me and said “We are here are you almost ready for that surprise I was telling you about?”

I looked around excitedly, twirling on my feet looking around to see if I could see anything. I didn’t. I was confused. “Umm…yes?” Was all I could say while looking at him with curiosity written all over my face.

“Wow you could melt me with that look did you know that? I know you’re confused but it will be here soon don’t worry. Come on let’s go by the tree and sit down while we wait.” He went towards the tree and sat down so I decided I might as well join him. As I sat down he pulled me in close and put the blanket on our laps. “Do you wanna snuggle up?”

WAS THAT EVEN A QUESTION? I’m surprised I didn’t say that out loud so I followed me thoughts and said it to him. He laughed and kissed my forehead again. So he snuggled me with the blanket and we just enjoyed each other’s warmth. He was humming softly to himself, I assumed it was excitement so I looked up and he was smiling down at me. “Are you waiting for me to say or do something?” He just shook his head and just rested his head on my shoulder. “Awe is someone tired?” I teased.

“Oh sure who wouldn’t be I mean you woke me up at 4a.m. and for what just sitting on the ground in the middle of the forest?” He chuckled into my neck.

“Well dam I didn’t know I was such a dick, we should just go home and get some more sleep before we both need to get up.”

“PSH and miss the amazing surprise? I think not. We are staying until I say so.” He looked at me giving me a pouty face. UGH why was he so dam cute? I swear he could just look at me and done, all over.

“Psh fine have it your way sweet cheeks.” He put his head back down on my should and laughed into my neck again.

“Just a little while longer I promise. It will all be worth it.” I felt his breathe as he spoke, it was warm and it gave me chills. I wonder what the surprise is going to be. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

So we ended up speaking a little talked about what we were going to do after this. Of course my first response was to head back to bed before I had to wake up for school. That got him to shake his head on my shoulder. We were talking for about twenty minutes when all of a sudden a ray of sunshine hit my face. It was blinding at first because it hit me directly in the eye. But as I got used to the new light that was just peaking over the ridge I could see more of our surroundings.

All I could say was “Wow…” my breath was taken away. I never have been to this place before or even heard something like this existed around here. It was breathtaking…And he was staring at me as my eyes lit up at the view. It was Autumn so as the light poked through the leaves all different colors illuminated the sky. I looked down off the hill and there was a lake at the bottom. You could see the cool air creating mist that was dancing off the still waters. It gave me chills just looking at it and he brought me closer to him under the blankets, if that was even possible but he did it.

The space between us was virtually nonexistent as he breathed right into my ear “I hope you are enjoying the sunrise. Happy birthday babe. I know you and your family used to go for trips like this when you were a kid just to watch the sunrise. I thought it would be something special that would could do together. Especially since your family stopped doing it years ago.” He was staring into my eyes looking for some kind of reaction. “I thought we could pick up the tradition again.”

I was lost for words. He created something from my past that was basically the one thing I looked forward to all year. My family did this every fall because the landscape was always so beautiful. But back then is nothing compared to what I am looking at now. It was truly magical as I was snuggled up with the man I loved at the most amazing place around. I couldn’t tell him how happy it made me that he knew the perfect date/birthday gift I would ever want. “Thank you…” was all that would come out of my mouth as I pressed my lips to his in a kiss that I never wanted to end. After the kiss broke we just stared at the sunrise lost in the sight of time. Time really was stopped in this moment; everything was blissful, happiness, at peace. True perfection that shouldn’t exist but in this exact moment it does…the truly perfect moment, love…forever.

But…I am getting way ahead of myself…