Crossing The Line - 4. Days and Days

Days and Days
Snow heard the front door open clumsily and close with a quiet click and he looked over at the clock on the table next to the double bed. The bright red letters read five forty six in the morning and Ricky was just getting home almost three hours after Snow had called it a night. He wondered where Ricky had been for so long and how he always managed to come home later and later each night over the past couple months. He rarely came home before it started to get light out anymore.

After Ricky had been with them for a couple months and it was clear that he was staying and could be trusted, Carlo had Ricky working another area a few nights a week. Ricky had proved to be an asset to the business and their boss thought it best if he ventured into other territories to make the most of his skills. Snow wasn’t too fond of the arrangement since the spot Carlo put Ricky in was much more dangerous than their usual place but when he voiced his concern, Carlo told him not to worry in the gentle tone he reserved solely for Snow … gentle but firm. Snow didn’t bring it up again but it still bothered him.

The dark haired boy held his breath and listened to Ricky kick his boots off and curse when a thud sounded and he figured his friend must have banged his leg on the coffee table again. He heard soft footsteps come down the hall and he could see Ricky’s shadow turn into the bathroom through the narrow opening of their bedroom door. Ricky closed the door before he turned the light on in the bathroom and moments later the shower turned on.

Snow and Ricky always showered before bed for two reasons. One reason was to unwind and get the kinks out of their muscles from their nights’ work. The other was to try and wash the sex of strangers off their skin before they got into bed with each other. It didn’t actually help. Snow never really felt clean after a night on the streets, no matter how hard he scrubbed and he knew Ricky didn’t either. The dirty feeling never went away.

Snow lay there in their bed listening to the shower and waiting while he stared at the flickering shadows on the ceiling made by the candle he had lit on the night table. He never told Ricky that if they didn’t meet up and come home together, he didn’t sleep until Ricky was back in bed next to him. He just couldn’t sleep until he knew Ricky was home safe and it didn’t matter how exhausted he was.

Finally, the shower cut off and Snow felt the anticipation building in him the way it did each night. Moments later, the bedroom door squeaked open all the way and Snow watched Ricky come into the room with only a towel wrapped around his waist. The candlelight glistened off his still damp body and the tendrils of his long, wet hair hanging in his face.

Ricky went over to the dresser and dropped the towel to pull boxers on and Snow’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of him naked. It’s not like it was the first time he had ever seen Ricky with nothing on, it’s just the way the soft glow of the candle flickered off Ricky’s body and enhanced his already graceful movements that made Snow’s heart speed up.

“Long night?” Snow asked, obviously startling the older teen when he sat up in bed. He smiled and took a cigarette out of the pack on the table and leaned over to light it with the candle. “You’re later than usual.”

“You scared me. I thought you were asleep,” Ricky breathed out quietly. “What time did you get home?”

“A little after three. I wasn’t feeling it after the last freak. I thought he was gonna hurt me but I managed to get out of his car pretty quick,” Snow said, swiping his long hair back over his shoulder. “Apparently, he was looking for a slave.”

Ricky shook his head and got under the covers next to Snow. He took the cigarette out of his mouth, pulled a long drag and stumped it out in the ashtray. “Scary.”

“Yeah, it was,” Snow said and slid back down under the blankets.

Ricky leaned over to blow out the candle and lay down. “I’m still kinda wired but I need sleep.”

In the past nine months since Ricky had moved in, the two had become so tight and Snow had developed a sort of crush on Ricky. They had bonded so well after their first meeting in the bus station and Ricky had become closer to Snow than anyone else in his life ever had. Ricky was real and he didn’t treat Snow like most everyone else did … like property or use him for whatever he could offer. He was just his friend. They just clicked and they didn’t even have to use words to communicate half the time. Words could be spoken in silence with just a look or a touch. Snow still couldn’t believe he had a real friend.

That and Ricky was so beautiful. It wasn’t just how he looked, though Snow did love to look at him with his long blond hair and his light blue eyes and his slender frame. It was how he made him feel. The way he looked at him like he mattered. He didn’t know if Ricky felt the same about him and he hadn’t wanted to make him feel uncomfortable so didn’t say anything.

He felt so connected to Ricky, though and he wanted to show him so he just acted without thinking. When Ricky settled into the bed beside him, Snow edged closer to him. His chest was resting against Ricky’s arm.

When Ricky didn’t tense up or move away, Snow stayed like that for a couple minutes and then he got really bold. He put his hand on the shoulder he was leaning on and started to rub it with the tips of his fingers. Ricky moaned a little so he asked him quietly, “Is that okay?”

“Yeah.”

Snow’s hand moved from that shoulder, across Ricky’s chest to the other shoulder and he stroked his neck, shoulder and arm lightly. His mind drifted back to that first night he had taken Ricky out on the streets to work … the night they had gotten drunk in Carlo’s club and came back to the apartment staggering and holding each other up. He could still feel that kiss on his lips like it was yesterday even though Ricky didn’t even remember doing it since he’d passed out right afterward.

“Snow…” Ricky whispered.

Snow took his chin and pulled him toward him, pressing his lips against Ricky’s softly. Gentle … hoping to convey his feelings with the gesture and get Ricky to understand how he felt without having to actually explain it to him.

Ricky returned the kiss briefly then pulled away a bit. “Snow, what is this?” he asked timidly. “What’s going on?”

Oh God, he’s mad at me for doing this. Snow started to pull his hand away but Ricky grabbed it.

“No, Snow, it’s okay. Really. I just … you surprised me, that’s all.”

Snow relaxed his hand on Ricky’s chest and Ricky’s hand came up and he pushed it through Snow’s hair, stopping to tangle it in his fingers in the back. He pulled him to him and kissed him more roughly than Snow had kissed him and it was like nothing he’d ever experienced.

Snow didn’t recall ever actually feeling anything from a kiss before but this wasn’t just passion. It was warm and tender. Their arms were around each other and they stayed like that for a while, mouths locked together, until Snow slowly pulled away. The room was getting lighter from the early morning sky coming in through the window and he was feeling like everything was changing from comforting fantasy to cold, hard reality. It was so much easier doing this in the dark than actually facing him in the light. Snow wanted to tell him so much. He wanted to tell Ricky he wanted him. He wanted to please him.

“I want you,” Snow whispered, barely audible but Ricky heard him.

All of a sudden, Ricky’s features changed into those of a child. He actually looked shy and maybe a little scared. He looked down a little then right into Snow’s eyes. “I’m really damaged, Snow. You don’t want me.”

“What do you mean?” Snow replied. “I do want you.”

Ricky sighed and rolled back over onto his back. He took another smoke out of the pack and lit it, taking a few drags before he said anything. “Look,” he said gently, “the whole reason I’m here … I left a bad situation. I lived with an uncle since I was a little kid who beat me up and did lots of other shit to me for years. I can handle fucking these strangers, whatever they want. I deserve it. I’m no good.”

What Ricky said about his life before didn’t shock Snow one bit. What he said about deserving it did. Even though neither of them had ever discussed their backgrounds with each other, it was obvious he was here because of a bad home but so was Snow and so were the majority of the kids that worked these streets alongside them. That didn’t make him bad.

“What’s that got to do with me kissing you?” Snow asked plainly. “We both live the same life here. What’s it got to do with anything?”

“Like it ain’t bad enough you have to do this shit?” Ricky said roughly, the tone of his voice making Snow tense up. “I’m not gonna let you get involved in one more thing that’s no good for you. I’m ruined and you don’t need me the way you’re saying you want me.”

“We’re all damaged, Rick,” Snow said quietly and rolled over away from him. “You ain’t the only one.”

Snow heard him take one more drag and put the smoke out. His heart beat heavily while he tried to absorb what the blond had said to him, wanting to argue his point but afraid to say the words. Ricky was still for a few minutes before he turned to move up behind Snow and put his arm around his waist. Within minutes Snow relaxed and was asleep.

0o0o0o0o

Fuck. This is just what I need, right? Ricky thought as he lay with his arm around Snow, knowing that sleep wasn’t going to come anytime soon. The party he’d ended up at after his night working had still been going full swing when he was finally able to tear himself away from the little, black haired firecracker who couldn’t seem to get enough of his attention. He was wasted beyond belief and easily could have passed out where he was with the girl but reason won out and told him to get his ass home.

Carlo had already passed a few comments about his excessively increasing late nights and his drug and alcohol use becoming a problem. Even though Ricky was out of Snow’s immediate watch now, he still didn’t want to cause any problems between his friend and their boss over his bad habits. Snow wasn’t even aware of the parties and places Ricky went when he was out so late.

He had hoped that Snow would have conked out by the time he got home since he was later than ever tonight but no such luck. The kid never went to sleep until Ricky was home and the older teen never really understood why … until now. Every time he thought of the way he and Snow had just kissed he got chills.

Snow don’t need to be dealing with my bad habits, neither, Ricky told himself that was the reason why he couldn’t do that again with Snow. Besides that, Ricky wasn’t even gay. Yeah, he could do the shit he had to do to with guys to make money and have a stable place to live and all. And yeah, he could kiss Snow like he just had in the early morning light and the warmth of their bed when he was drunk and high as a kite. That didn’t make him gay, though. He dug chicks. He had just fucked that black haired chick twice before he came home and could definitely see himself hunting her down again for another good time.

The shower he took before bed was the usual washing off of the nights’ work and that was all it was. Ricky resisted the thought that he had mostly taken a shower and brushed his teeth so Snow wouldn’t smell that girl’s perfume on him. That wasn’t being gay. It was being respectful of his sleeping partner.

Snow wiggled back against Ricky a little before his body relaxed once more and it made the blond gasp since his cock was pressed firmly against the dark haired teen’s cute ass and the movement caused his cock to twitch happily. So what if Ricky took notice that Snow did have a cute ass and what did it matter that they slept snuggled up together at night? Ricky had slept snuggled up the same way with Randy on the nights he couldn’t stand to sleep alone after Dave would go after him. It was a comfort thing and nothing more.

Ricky had noticed the way Snow looked at him. He also noticed the way Carlo seemed to notice, too and it was best not to get involved in such a way. Maybe Ricky didn’t have to accept the term ‘gay’ for himself. Maybe it was just that he liked Snow a lot and they were best friends. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to make out with someone he was close to like that. It was another form of comfort and it wasn’t like being with a stranger.

Does that make it worse or better, though?

Snow rolled over to face Ricky and he nuzzled his head under the blond’s chin and slung an arm around him. His body felt nice against Ricky and he felt himself growing excited and wished he could take something to bring him down and crash out already. He attributed his conflicting emotions and his body’s responses to the drugs and booze he’d consumed over the course of the night. His mind was telling him one thing and then a different thing and then his body was acting as if this was okay and he just wanted it all to stop.

Ricky squeezed his eyes shut and turned away from Snow, who latched onto his back the second he rolled over, and tried to force himself asleep. I ain’t fucking gay and Snow is just going to have to accept that … and so is my body.