May 16th 2023 - Holidays and Observances

 

(click on the day for details)

• Christian feast day:
  • Aaron (Coptic Church)
  • Abda and Abdjesus, and companions:
    • Abdas of Susa
  • Andrew Bobola
  • Brendan the Navigator (Roman Catholic Church, Anglican Communion, Eastern Orthodox Church)
  • Caroline Chisholm (Church of England)
  • Gemma Galgani (Passionists Calendar)
  • Germerius
  • Honoratus of Amiens
  • John of Nepomuk
  • Margaret of Cortona
  • Peregrine of Auxerre
  • Simon Stock
  • Ubald (see Saint Ubaldo Day)
  • May 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)
• Martyrs of Sudan (Episcopal Church (USA))
• Mass Graves Day (Iraq)
• National Day, declared by Salva Kiir Mayardit (South Sudan)
• Teachers' Day (Malaysia)

 

Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)

National Mimosa Day

Drawing Day

International Day of Light

Martyrdom of Imam Sadeq

National Barbecue Day

National Biographer's Day

National Coquilles Saint Jacques Day

National Do Something Good for Your Neighbor Day

National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day

National Love a Tree Day

National Piercing Day

National Sea Monkey Day

National Stop Nausea Day

National Wear Purple for Peace Day

Nickel Day

Ride a Unicycle Day

Sex Differences in Health Awareness Day

Supply Chain Professionals Day

Waiters Day

Horse Rescue Day

 

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"Nice 2-bedroom home. The owner has noted that there are termites that have done some damage. Selling house 'as is.' Don't Wait. This Wonderful Property Will Not Last Long."

 

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A millionaire, a hard hat, and a drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest.

It's now the drunk's turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

 

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At our supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop.

Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!"

The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother's dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss."

 

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When my insurance company refused to pay for my newborn son’s circumcision, I got a letter explaining its logic.

Under the procedure "Circumcision" was written "Unable to locate member."

 

 

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Manhattan Delis and the Art of Knish

 

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sandrewn