KalenO

I would and have, and not just in the context of a relationship. I'm 27, bi, live in LA and engage in casual sex when not in a relationship. And yet, I'm tested recently and still completely negative (and clean for all other STDs). It comes down to being a) informed and safe. Having sex with a positive person should be treated seriously, but not as though they're radioactive, which sadly happens all too often. The thing is myths about HIV are still so prevalent many people just take things on face value without ever bothering to actually educate themselves on what it is and how its transmitted. For instance, someone a few posts above said 'Can't you get it from kissing?'....most people even in the gay community just hear yes and never bother investigating further than that. Yes, you can be infected via kissing....but only in a very specific scenario. There's insufficient quantities of the disease in saliva to transmit it that way. The only way to get infected via kissing is if blood from the HIV+ person gets into the bloodstream of the uninfected person - meaning BOTH parties have to have open cuts or sores in their mouth in order to transmit it. Which is ABSOLUTELY preventable. Sex comes in a wide range of activities, full penetration being the least of them. There are plenty of ways to have fun, engaging, completely satisfying sexual encounters without ever putting the negative participant at risk of infection - and I don't mean just by relying on condoms, which are never foolproof. You should never rely on just condoms to protect you from any STD - the only things you should rely on are your brain and being educated. A lot of people (most of them other gay men) consider me reckless for willingly having sex with HIV+ men - not that I go seeking them out, just that I don't treat deciding whether or not to have sex with them any differently than if they were negative. However, I'd argue that I'm safer and less at risk than 90% of people who swear they'd never have sex with a HIV+ person. And that's precisely BECAUSE I don't treat sex with a positive man any differently than sex with a negative one. I make sure I'm protected no matter what I'm doing or who I'm doing it with. People lie. They lie to their partners, they lie to their hook-ups, they lie to themselves. And you're lying to yourselves if you think there's no chance you'll ever sleep with a positive person, because all you're really saying is you'll never KNOWINGLY sleep with a positive person. Thus you're much less likely to be protected if it turns out they lied to you about their status, or worse, were simply unaware of their status. Unless you know every person your partner, boyfriend or one night stand has slept with and their status, or else go out and get simultaneous tests together (and not the kind that are only accurate up to six months ago, which are the standard HIV tests) - the only real way to be sure you're safe from HIV infection is to be educated on how you could get it and how you can prevent that. Shunning positive men (and that's kinda what flat out declaring you'll 'never' have sex with one is) is not a protection, its simply hiding your head in the sand. The truth is, you're FAR safer with the guy you meet in the bar who admits upfront that he's positive than you are with the guy who doesn't even think to ask YOU what your status is before going home with you. I mean, think about it - you may know your status, but if the guy you're with doesn't think to ask before hooking up with you, what are the chances he thought to ask his past hook-ups their status before having sex with them? (Not to mention that the guy who's aware of his status and upfront about it is likely to be on modern medications, which also make the disease less infectious and harder to pass on).