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I'm not sure that Riley is against enucleation because of pride, although that may certainly be a part of it. Rather, I think he may be fearful of undergoing the knife. He lost his eyesight to a knife, and he has now been told that he needs to undergo surgery to remove the eye completely. Further, he bears multiple scars, including facial scars, from that knife attack: He may be thinking of his body image--what he might look like with an empty socket as opposed to how he might look with a life-like replacement. I think that his family will give him time to make the right decision (rather than force the issue), as they will want him to feel that the decision is his; and I think that Riley will finally agree that there is no other choice. I rarely think of a sex scene as sweet, but this is an exception. Without any doubt, Carter is the perfect partner for Riley.

A lovely, feel-good chapter, even with Riley's self doubt (or perhaps because of it, as his loved ones respond with support). Mom starts the ball rolling by giving him advice and encouragement, and they share a bonding moment. Then, his boyfriend does the same. My favorite moment in the chapter is when Carter casually says, "I should be a therapist if basketball doesn't work out… especially if I'm going to be married to you." While he teases Riley about being "scared of commitment," he does not suggest for a moment that he is teasing about being married! And what of Trey? Right now, he is merely an annoyance, but Riley better keep vigilant!

Did Riley actually tell Carter that he was going to use weed? "Trey needed to be shut up, and the weed, well I needed something to calm my head. I even said that to Carter at lunch!" So did he tell Carter that he needed something to calm his head, or did he tell him that he needed weed to calm his head? Enquiring minds want to know! That said, it is nice to see that Riley would have preferred spending time with Carter over smoking the weed, if he had had the opportunity. However, I was saddened to see that he preferred the weed over the company of his own family when he was offered the opportunity to go out to dinner with them. I love the banter between Carter and Riley on the drive home from school. Actually, giving Riley a goal--such as getting his driver's license--may be a good thing and give him focus. That weed gets around: It is now in a drawer that supposedly no one uses. Why do I feel this sense of impending doom? (Unfortunately, Riley feels that the marijuana worked well for him, so I am afraid that he is going to tempt fate and keep on using it. On a positive note, the weed helped him to clarify his thoughts, and he realizes that he is truly home and that "this is where I want to be.") The big news is that Riley has connected with his psychiatrist: "He seems like he actually wants to help, and who knows, maybe I'll actually let him." Riley may have reached a turning point, but only time will tell.

I'm sad to see that Riley remains in such turmoil. When he says "it's a weird feeling going from rehab right back into life here in the North side," he sounds like a prisoner who has just been released: "No stop signs, no breaks, no handholding, just go go go." Though he tells himself that this is exactly how he wants it, he doesn't sound very convincing, as he acknowleges that he really doesn't know what normal is or, by corollary, how to achieve it. I can't help but feel that his decision to self medicate with marijuana, far from helping him to achieve normalcy, is going to come back to bite him you know where. While one might think him happy to be back in the structured environment of a superior school, Riley has a completely different view: "This was no different to me than the shitty public school I had to attend in Michigan. It all felt the same, words I can't read, teachers yelling at me for not being able to read to them, and the overwhelming silence that filled the ear when they asked me a question." His thoughts are valid, as it is unclear what the school is doing to address his dyslexia and illiteracy; and forcing him into a situation where he is set up to fail can only worsen his outlook. That said, this situation is fixable, if only Riley would share his concerns with his parents or the staff. Hopefully, he'll make enough progress that he can finally do so. Considering how he acted while in the gang, Riley could certainly be mistaken for a psychopath. Yet, he goes into harm's way to rescue Owen, he slows himself down during their getaway (to make sure that Owen can get away, too), he feels the need to make amends to Owen, and (to refocus on this chapter) he feels the need to make things right with Carter immediately after their argument. Despite portraying himself as a "badass," Riley is both sympathetic and empathetic, so the ingredients are there to help with his redemption. (I love the scene where Riley, in trying to make up with Carter, starts yelling at himself to get the ball rolling!) While Trey seems genuine in wanting to start fresh with Riley, I trust Riley's instincts: "Something about him, it gives me a bad feeling." If it's one thing that Riley has, it's street smarts, so if Riley feels that there is a problem with Trey, you can bet that Trey will be in the middle of something terrible in the near future. I just hope that Riley (and his friends and family) can steer clear of it.

At this point, Riley doesn't even know his own mind. In the last chapter, he picks a fight with all and sundry. Then, at the beginning of this chapter, he withdraws and falls "quiet." He makes a very interesting observation: "I don't know what the hell rehab did to me, but facing my demons, well it opened Pandora's Box. I have thrown out who I was, and now, I have no idea who I am becoming." At least, he acknowledges that rehab put him on the right track, and he acknowledges his fear as to what comes next. I love the allusion of Riley trying his hardest to bury his head into the pillow (like an ostrich trying to bury its head in the sand), but Riley can't hide from his situation. I find it interesting that Riley wants to meet with Owen, even though he "shudders" at the thought of "confronting his past": He tortured Owen, though admittedly under duress, and it shows his basic humanity that he somehow wants to make amends. (This is in direct contradistinction to his earlier thoughts about his fellow students possibly seeing him as "some sort of monster.") I also love that we can see how Riley acts in multiple situations where his personality is tested: When faced with someone obnoxious (Trey) he acts in kind, showing that he remains combative/confrontational. However, when challenged by his boyfriend, he is not afraid to participate in an "all out war," but the competition is good natured, and he teases Carter after he loses to him. When Noah crowds Riley, he tries Intimidation (he turns his bad eye towards Noah, as if it is some sort of camouflage--and perhaps, that's exactly what it is), but when Noah calls his bluff, Riley shows restraint and doesn't lash out where a friend is concerned. Perhaps there's hope for Riley after all..

I'm sorry to see that Riley remains self destructive. At first, he sounds positive, saying, "Am I really willing to risk throwing this all away? ...Naw, that ain't how this is gonna go." But then he says, "And if it is, well, I'm not getting caught," making it sound that he won't seek help when he needs it--he'll only pretend to be doing well rather than chance being sent back to an inpatient program. Most ominous of all, he refers to himself as Cy instead of as Riley, showing how far he has to go to transition from Cy back to Riley. I really like this character: He's been through so much, and I want to see him succeed, but he still has a long way to go before he can be at peace with himself.

Tommy's gift to Oliver--to play onstage with Messiah, even if only for a single song--was unexpected and extremely moving. Many thanks, Ace, for a remarkable, heartfelt story. Are you sure you don't want to become a full-time writer? Now, on to Riley and another fantastic tale. Please keep them coming!

During the television interview, Ryder was quick to say that, no, Oli would not be playing at the Messiah concert, that Tommy had been "training" and "saving his strength" for the concert, and that the concert was "his." Further, if Ryder were really concerned that Tommy couldn't finish the concert, he would have insisted that Oli remain backstage, so as to be ready to take over at a moment's notice. On the other hand, Tommy was able to drum only 20 minutes against Oli before losing the battle to fatigue, and Oli's extensive involvement with Messiah's last album was also prompted by Tommy's fatigue. Unfortunately, you can't bank strength, so Tommy's "saving his strength" may be wishful thinking on Ryder's part; and Tommy's ability to finish the concert may truly boil down to a personal battle between his body and his spirit. While I am also rooting for Tommy, there is a real possibility that he won't be able to finish, despite his best efforts, and I can't wait to see how Ace handles this issue.

Fantastic chapter, well worth the wait! You could feel Oli's frustration with not being taken seriously--to be considered a "running gag" with "meaningless credits." When dad, referring to Oli, says "Eye of the tiger," Teddy responds, "Eye of the bunny" (not helping, Teddy… but I love the line!). And Oli has every right to be steaming, as he "worked his ass off," as Ryder states, without receiving the recognition he deserves. The interview, then, becomes important in showing that Oli's first love is still the music, not the fame, as he shows his skill for the first time on national television: "There is no doubt about it, I was made to be up on this stage. Everything about this moment, it's just, it's everything I've ever dreamed of." I love the way that Ryder defers to Oli during the interview, to let the audience gain an insight into how Oli sees music. I also love that the moderator calls Oli's response to being ignored "very mature" just a few lines before Oli swears coast-to-coast in pure Oli fashion! Great to hear that the lawyers are finally going after Nate. However, Ryder's growth of character is evident when he says, "We don't have to ruin him, Teddy, people deserve second chances," echoing what he said during the television interview when speaking of himself. The scene leading up to Messiah's concert had me feeling like I was actually there. (How do you do it, Ace?) And now, the moment of truth: Will Tommy be able to play through the concert, or will Oli be called to take the stage? Can't wait for the next Installment!

I hope someone captured the video of Oli's antics with the pizza-shop heckler. I have a feeling that the paparazzi (not to mention music lovers everywhere) are going to become addicted to Oli TV!

Nice to see that Teddy is feeling better. Nice to see that Oli is his usual self, despite the fame, which is merely an annoyance! Nice to see that Ryder has actually been smart with his money despite his stupidity with drugs. And nice to see that, even through his drug-induced haze, he was still thinking of others and giving to charity during his self destructive period. Nice to visit with these wonderful characters again and again. Their (present) story may almost be told, but I can't help but want to visit with them in the future (in Oli's book, Mark's book, Harry's book, Hayley's book.... Need I say more?). Thanks, Ace, for a great story.

Oli is growing up. He still may act like a kid, but his thought processes are maturing. He feels "bad" because Teddy is in pain, showing empathy. While looking for an answer to help his brother, he realizes that he cannot look to others to give him the answer - - not even Ryder ("As much as I want to put my faith in him, I can't"). Rather, he accepts the personal responsibility to help his brother heal. He conceives a multipart plan and carries it out, conducting research by interviewing Liz before finalizing his strategy. And when he plays for his brother, it's beautiful - - mistakes and all. Most telling, he says to himself that, if his brother isn't well by summer, he would even be willing to delay Unity's first tour for his brother's sake: "I am not doing this without knowing if my brother is going to be OK. Without him by our side." He shows his maturity in other ways as well: He'll still tease is mother - - for example by calling her Jill - - but he is no longer afraid to follow it up by saying "love you!" He volunteers to help his boyfriend come out to his father. He states that he is not simply going to avoid drugs but that he wants to do something about drugs, taking a proactive approach to help others. Even his professional life shows growth: he is thrilled to be performing his apprenticeship with Messiah. "Everything about it was just so perfect. From learning how to properly write songs to expanding my mastery over the drums." Half baked? I don't think so. Oli finally gets it, saying "For the first time in my life, I have control. I get to decide my own destiny!" And he's well on his way.

As yet, I have seen no speculation as to the motive behind Chris's murder. Could that be because we already know it? (Try miming 13 blows with a knife: The amount of hate behind such an act is hard to fathom.) I am sad to think that his death could have been motivated by homophobia, but I can't think of any other reason which could generate such hatred between a father and son or a pair of brothers. That said, there is no excuse for domestic violence of any type, let alone murder, and the electric chair is too good for Chris's killer. (Whoever he is, I hope he doesn't take the easy way out with a policeman's bullet, though it might be easier on the living if he does.)

Chris was murdered. As this was a case of domestic abuse, I presume that the murderer was his father or possibly a brother. I hope that the monster is found and brought to justice quickly. As the surgeon, Teddy will have to give testimony at the trial, and I hope that his innate goodness, and the love of his family, give him the resolve to see it through without relapsing into self-recriminations or depression. He will ultimately be a better doctor--and a better person--for the experience, but it's a terrible situation to have to work through.

Show me the love: If you'll pardon the pun, Ace does it in spades! Teddy notes the incredible growth between Oli and Ryder. He also sees the new intimacy between Oli, Mark, and Wendy, with Mark's head in Oli's lap, and with Wendy sitting between Oli's legs. True intimacy is revealed when Teddy learns from Ryder that the boys have become more than good friends. Not only that, Oli told Tommy first, as the bond between the drummers continues to strengthen. Tommy gives a pair of Messiah drumsticks to Oli as a gift. Teddy and Ryder give Oli the first ticket to his first concert, and Oli promptly gives the ticket to dad , who is now cool - - at least, according to Wendy. Oli thinks so too, as he praises his father to the point where Harry sheds tears; and a poignant embrace follows. Oli also embraces Teddy, saying that he is the best Big Brother ever. Share the love? You can't get away from it! However, then comes the Hate: A teenage boy is stabbed 13 times in a crime of domestic abuse. The question now becomes, can love overcome the hate? (I hope Ace is in a good mood....)

An alternate title for this chapter could be "A Day in the Life of Oli Haner." The various facets of Oli's character are on prominent display, with quintessential Oli moments as the day progresses. Yet, we also see his growth as a caring boyfriend and a sexual being (though still with giggles). Ryder, you better be careful, or you're going to be upstaged!

The house in the cemetery has ghosts but only those that Ryder brings with him: The house is important to Ryder because of the memories it holds. In fact, it becomes so important that he buys the house even at a time when he never expects to live there again or maybe even see it again (when he is away on tour with Messiah). It is no coincidence that he comes back to the house to try and commit suicide. It is also no surprise that he wants to live there again now that he is happy. (Of course, the crazy paparazzi will have a field day with the fact that a famous rock star wants to live in a cemetery!)

So much, both good and bad, has happened in that home in a cemetery. If anyone can restore the balance and bring back the love and happiness, it's Ryder and Teddy.

By the way, I forgot to mention in my post about dichotomies that the very name of the chapter--A Hard Day's Night--is itself a dichotomy (not to mention a great Ringo-ism!)

Alcoholism isn't just an ingrained habit: It's truly a disease. People with alcoholism may actually process alcohol differently than other folk, and it's very clear that there's a genetic component, with alcoholism running in families. Since the tendency is always present, there is no "safe" level of drinking, and a single drink may trigger a relapse. I agree with Israfil: Well-meaning friends who say "just drink responsibly" have no idea of the damage they may be doing by pressuring a recovering alcoholic into taking "just one little drink." Brandon has now been educated. On a completely different note, happy birthday, Israfil!

The present chapter is one of dichotomies: Ryder both hates Messiah and loves it at the same time, and he needs to figure out how to keep his interaction with Messiah healthy. While Oli may be Messiah"s biggest fan, he is also disappointed when he sees how the band works together ("All of you are such let-downs that it hurts!"). Yet, he still experiences pleasure working with the band (especially with Tommy!), and you know he'd be miserable if he were anywhere else. At one point, Ryder says "it finally feels like we're back in our early twenties!," though at the bar, he sees "how old and sad we look," as he realizes that he is growing past his bandmates and their pastimes. Also at the bar, Ryder has to confront sobriety vs temptation (and, thank heavens, the new Ryder wins). Perhaps the biggest dichotomy of all, mom has to balance what's good for Oli as a child and what's good for him as a genius, a musician, an integral part of a group, and a maturing human being. But then again, moms know best! For me, there's no dichotomy: I love these guys! Thanks for another great chapter.

Forget Liz. Mom's the champ!

I think I need to write shorter posts.

So much going on! I love Harry's response when Ryder addresses him as Harry, and Harry corrects him to say "Dad" (and says it in a happy tone!). I love the reminder of Teddy's one and only badboy deed. (The fact that he did it for Ryder makes it even more special.) I love that Harry and Ryder agree that Oli is perfect just the way he is. While I have strong feelings about people taking medication when they truly need it, Oli's situation is much less clear: He seems to have ADD-like behavior but only when the subject doesn't interest him. He is acting the way that many geniuses throughout history have done, immersing himself with iron discipline when he loves the subject and showing disinterest/minimal attention for anything else. Mrs Flores is clearly out of line when, referring to Ryder, she says "Seriously, Mr. Haner… This is the man you trust Oliver with?" She disrespects Ryder to his face and impugns his sense of responsibility. Even Oli picks up on the insult: "'She said you're not an adult.' Oli cackled, as I shot him a dirty look." She then questions Harry's statement that Ryder is a good role model. (It's almost as if she requested Ryder's presence just to pick on him.) She becomes defensive when called out with regard to her treatment of Oli over time, and she actually sounds relieved when Harry says that they're taking Oliver home, presumably hoping that they are taking him out of school permanently. The best that can be said about her as a principal is that she isn't going to be a principal for much longer…. I love that Tommy finally makes an appearance and that, for all the negative things that Oli has said about him, Oli still becomes tongue-tied in his presence. The subsequent battle of the drums is heroic, and it is sad to see that Tommy loses to Oli because of his cancer (or chemo)- induced fatigue. That said, the fact that Oli could keep up with Tommy clearly shows him to be at least of Messiah caliber (maybe better because of his varying styles) and at only age 14! Interestingly, Oli is not actually suspended from school, as Harry et al leave the principal's office before she can impose any discipline. There is no clear timetable as to when Oli will go back, if at all, so I have to wonder what direction his future education will take. (I agree with Ryder: Oli would do so much better in a music academy, but the high school might improve with a better principal at the helm.)

I think I'm becoming addicted to Oli chapters. (Ryder, Teddy, please help me!) If anyone felt concern that Oli would experience stage fright, think again: He shows Messiah "how it's done" and "felt like a freakin' rock star" while doing it. I love that Mark is on the menu for dinner, as the Haner family scrutinizes him at the table. He is no longer just Oli's childhood friend, he is Oli's boyfriend, and they want to know him better. I love Oli's growing confidence: Not only does he kick ass on stage, but he also kicks up his heels off stage, as he has the courage to ask Mark to dance in public (with a little help from the band on hand placement). Wendy is a great addition to the cast: She liked Oli before he became famous, and she is willing to talk back to him--which is really what he needs at this point in his life. (Yes, I concede that she's a mini Liz.) Has fame changed the way that Oli thinks? Not on your life! He is actually uncomfortable with the attention. He also does not suffer fools gladly, and his speech to the homeroom was classic Oli. Kudos to Mark for giving him a standing ovation, and kudos to Wendy for her show of solidarity. At least now, Oli realizes that he has some true friends going forward--to the principal's office and beyond!