Taliesin69
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Everything posted by Taliesin69
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I picked up a little on what Nephylim said about the dialogue being a little stilted, but with time and more writing I'm sure you'll pull it off. I'm really enjoying the story and hope it continues for a long time.
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A lovely ritual, but at the age of fifteen, perhaps a little young to be pledging to spend their lives together. But we'll see how it plays out.
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Ooh my what an ending **runs off for cold shower** Looking forward to reading about this ritual.
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I wanted to have a happy ending to the chapter Come on Thomas, please. Just go for it. Plant a big wet smooch on Alex. Please.
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I'm forced to agree with Nephylim on this. Although the plot is well written and believable, I'd have liked to have seen you "being more honest" to use your own words. I'd have liked to have seen a darker Council, but I think given the emotional undercurrent here, any possible love interest between Alex and Thomas would be impossible with a darker council.
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I'm in shock. That was such a brutal death scene. I think this shows that there is a darker side of the Council, and must be a shock to poor Thomas. But really well written.
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Such a spine-tingling chapter. I don't want to know what happens next, but I have to find out.
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The history is really interesting, especially how you have woven it so easily into the story.
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I like how you've brought in this back story chapter and still made it feel part of the story.
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I'd love to see the dragon hatch. I also like the factual stuff.
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A great chapter. really well written.
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As a Trekkie, it gets my vote.
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Really loved the whole story. Just a shame it's finished.
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A very emotional chapter. I really liked it.
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Another great chapter, with a nice cliffhanger-y ending. Thankfully I'm not going to have wait to find out what hapens next.
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I liked it. A bit darker than your other story Kyle and Kodi. Not the ending I was expecting given the build up of the story.
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Bit of a short chapter, but I can see why it ended where it did. Egg-whisks, ice cubes, frying pans and parsnips Dare I ask?
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I like it, but there is some jumping around between first person and third person that gets a little confusing. You may want to have a look at that. Other than that a very nicely written chapter.
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They are so cute. I love the way you've written the scene of them getting together.
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As first chapters go I like it. I like the way the two boys are written, and the mini flashbacks were a nice touch.
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A very sad ending. I hope the Kim characters confesses all to his parents, but somehow I don't think he will.
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Not my usual thing, but I liked it.
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Not really sure what to say. Hi, hello, erm **shrugs** Looking for somewhere new to read, find some stuff I haven't read before. erm, that's it for now.
