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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 57
    September 7th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Air Force Day (Pakistan) Christian feast day: Anastasius the Fuller Clodoald Gratus of Aosta Stephen Pongracz Marko Krizin Regina September 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which National Grandparents Day can fall, while September 13 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday after Labor Day. (United States) Last day on which Labor Day (United States) can fall, while September 1st is the first; celebrated on the first Monday of September. Constitution Day (Fiji) Independence Day (Brazil), celebrates the independence of Brazil from Portugal in 1822. Military Intelligence Day (Ukraine) National Threatened Species Day (Australia) Victory Day (Mozambique)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    World Duchenne Awareness Day
    Beer Lover’s Day
    Superhuman Day
    Buy a Book Day
    Another Look Unlimited Day
    Acorn Squash Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Salami Day
    September 7 is Salami Day, a annual holiday that honors the delicious and spicy cured Italian sausage that is a perfect wine and cheese accompaniment.

    Typically made out of fermented and air dried meat, the salami is plural of the Italian word salame and originates from the Italian word for salt. Salami is traditionally made from beef or pork which is mixed with spices like pepper, garlic and wine, though many regional variations exist.
    Popular Sausage
    The more popular kinds of salami include pepperoni, chorizo and soppressata.
    The first Salami Day was held in 2006 in Henrico, Virginia, and was organized by the Salami Appreciation Society. Salami Day is also called National Salami Day in the United States
    How to Celebrate?
    Eat salami as it is, or pair with some crackers, cheese and wine. Learn how to make your own salami. Did You Know...
    ...that the salami is cased in animal intestines, usually the same animal from which the meat comes from.
     
    ***
     
    A police officer stopped at a farm and told the old farmer, “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.”

    The farmer said, “OK – as long as you don’t go in that field over there.”

    The policeman sneered nastily. “I think you’ll find, sir, that I have the authority of the police force behind me.” He pulled out his badge. “See this? It means I’m allowed to go wherever I want. No questions asked, no answers given. I’m in charge. Understand, old man?”

    The farmer nodded politely and went about his chores. A short time later, he heard loud screams. He looked up to see the policeman running for his life, pursued by the farmer’s massive bull. With every step, the beast was gaining ground. The policeman looked terrified.

    The farmer threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted at the top of his lungs, “Your badge – show him your badge!”
     
    ***
     
    I recently took my wife on holidays to the north of England, and since our son was to join us for a few days, I texted him to bring fuel for the fire as it had turned decidedly chilly.
    A few days into our stay, we received news that an elderly relative had died, so I texted our son with the funeral arrangements. Although the two messages were sent days apart, patchy phone reception in that remote part of the country meant they reached him almost simultaneously – and in reverse order.
    They read: “Uncle’s funeral at crematorium 11:30 on Saturday… Bring logs for the fire.”
     
    ***
     
    God said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. Of course I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”
    The biker thought about if for a long time. Finally, he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how a woman feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
    God replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 56
    September 6th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Begga Chagnoald Faustus, Abibus and Dionysius of Alexandria Gondulphus of Metz Magnus of Füssen Onesiphorus Zechariah (Hebrew prophet) (Catholic church) September 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) The earliest date on which the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance is performed Armed Forces Day (São Tomé and Príncipe) Defence Day or Army Day (Pakistan) Flag Day (Bonaire) Independence Day (Swaziland), celebrates the independence of Eswatini from the United Kingdom in 1968 Unification Day (Bulgaria)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Mouthguard Day
    Coffee Ice Cream Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Fight Procrastination Day
    September 6 is Fight Procrastination Day. It is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to take charge of their procrastination problem and to find ways to combat the never-ending urge to put off important tasks for another day.

    Every once in a while we come across a task we rather not do. It could be something as simple as cleaning up our desk or ordering a birthday present or as complex as writing a paper for class or finish cleaning out the garage. When it comes to daunting, boring or important tasks we have all procrastinated by doing something else.
    Perfectionists
    Procrastination does not always have disastrous consequences. Most people who procrastinate tend to finish the task at hand at the last moment. Some psychologists believe that sometimes procrastination can be a sign of a perfectionist personality.
    Sometimes however procrastination can become a problem. Studies have shown that habitual procrastination increases stress and anxiety, reduces productivity and can have a negative impact on a person's job performance.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you find yourself to be a habitual procrastinator, here are some ways you can fight the impulse to put things off on Fight Procrastination Day:
    Get to your to-do list now and start crossing off tasks. Learn ways to fight your procrastinating tendencies. Perhaps ask a friend to monitor your progress? Reward yourself for tasks completed on time. Did You Know...
    ...that procrastibaking is the act of using baking as a procrastination device?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Read a Book Day
    On September 6, pour yourself a cup of tea, find a cozy spot and curl up with a good book because it is Read A Book Day!

    Possibly created by a bibliophile, the unofficial holiday encourages people to pick up a book and immerse themselves in it.
    Lowers Stress
    Research has shown that reading can have several health and social benefits. Frequent readers tend to have lower stress levels than non-readers. In addition, reading can stimulate brain activity and improve memory. Socially, reading can reap a lot of benefits - well-read people tend to be more empathetic and aware of societal ills and differences.
    Reading can also improve critical thinking and comprehension skills and can make people better writers.
    How to Celebrate?
    Wether you are a fan of fiction, non-fiction, science fiction, history, medical literature, short stories or any of the hundreds of genre of literature out there, here are some ways you can celebrate Read a Book Day:
    Read that book you have always been meaning to pick up and read. Revisit your favorite book and read it again. Join a local book club so that you have more motivation to read. If you are already a part of a book club, what about organizing a book party for them? Invite all the book club members and discuss a book while enjoying dishes inspired by your favorite books. Learn more about the life and work of your favorite author. Visit your local library, and if you are not already a member, become one. Support your local library or any reading initiatives that exist in your neighborhood by volunteering your time, money or expertise. Did You Know...
    ...that the Japanese word tsundoku refers to the act of piling up books without reading them? We have all been guilty one time or the other of buying multiple books and letting them pile without ever getting around to reading them.
     
    ***
    Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you’d like to lose half a kilo right now, press “one” 18,000 times.
    ***
    After a check-up, a doctor asked his patient, “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”
    “Well,” said the patient, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.”
    “That’s a big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?”
    “Yes, we took a vote … and they’re in favour of it 15 to 2.”
    ***
    A little boy in my infant class came into school and told me he could spell his mum’s name.
    “M-U-M,” he said proudly.
    Before I could congratulate him, another little boy said excitedly, “That’s how you spell my mum’s name too!”
    ***
    My husband was a tour guide for a 16th-century castle just near Leuchars airfield in Fife, Scotland. One day, while speaking to a group of American tourists, a jet plane flew overhead. The noise was very loud and prompted one of the party to comment that he couldn’t understand why the castle had been built so near an airfield!
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 55
    September 5th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Bertin Charbel (martyr) Genebald Gregorio Aglipay (Episcopal Church) Mother Teresa Ursicinus of Ravenna Zechariah and Elisabeth (Anglican and Eastern Orthodox Church) September 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest date on which Jeûne genevois can fall, while September 11 is the latest; celebrated on Thursday after the first Sunday of September. (Canton of Geneva) International Day of Charity[10] Teacher's Day (India) The flag-flying day for Denmark's deployed personnel (Denmark)[11] First day of school in Vietnam  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    World Samosa Day
    Pet Rock Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Be Late for Something Day
    We would normally not encourage you to do this on any other day, but Be Late For Something Day on September 5 is the perfect excuse for you to be late.

    It is believed that Be Late For Something Day was created by the Procrastinators' Club of America, an organization as a way to allow people to take a break from their busy daily schedules.
    Don't Rush
    In today's world, most people spend their lives rushing and hurrying, always fighting against the clock. This unofficial holiday asks people to slow down; take a breath and savor the world around them; and enjoy the small pleasures of life. Stop and smell the roses, if you will.
    Be Late For Something Day is also known as National Be Late For Something Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Be late to something on purpose. But be considerate to the people who are waiting for you - call them ahead and let them know you are running late. Did You Know…
    …that the use of the term, late, to refer to a deceased person, dates back to the late 15th century?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Creese Pizza Day
    September 5 is Cheese Pizza Day, a day to indulge in a slice (or two) of the classic and simple cheese pizza.

    While the origins of this fun food holiday are unknown, we can all safely assume that it encourages people to pay homage to the humble but delicious pizza pie covered with only tomato sauce, seasonings and cheese.
    Hearty Italian Dish
    Italian in origin, a pizza is a hearty dish made of rolled out dough topped with tomato, cheese, vegetables or meats, which is baked in an oven before being served. It is believed that the pizza as we know it today originated in Naples, Italy. A Traditional Speciality Guaranteed product in Europe, the Neapolitan pizza is made with tomatoes and Mozzarella cheese. This means that only pizzas made in Naples can be called Neapolitan pizza in the European Union and the rest of Europe.
    Fit for a Queen
    Legend has it that a variant of Neapolitan pizza, the Margherita, was created by pizza maker Raffaele Esposito in 1889 to honour the Queen consort of Italy, Margherita of Savoy. The pizza represented the national colors of the flag of Italy with the use of tomato, mozzarella and basil.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating Cheese Pizza Day, which is also sometimes known as National Cheese Pizza Day in the United States, is easy. Here are some ways to celebrate this delicious holiday:
    Make your own cheese pizza at home from scratch. Experiment with different types of cheese. Perhaps you could try replacing the mozzarella with blue cheese, brie or some creamy goat cheese? Have cheese pizza for all your meals. Start with a breakfast pizza, with feta cheese, bacon and eggs. Have a classic cheese pizza for lunch, and a gourmet cheese pizza with your favorite meat and vegetable toppings for dinner. End the day with a dessert pizza - pizza with cream cheese, chocolate and berries. Visit your favorite pizza place and treat yourself to a slice or two of their cheese pizza. Did You Know…
    ...that tomato wasn’t a staple addition to the pizza until the 1700s? Tomatoes only became popular with pizza lovers in Italy in the 1900s. Before that, they were thought to be poisonous and unfit for consumption.
     
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    A university football coach called out the new member saying, “Look, I’m not supposed to have you on this team because you failed your maths exams but we really do need you to play for us. What I’ll do is ask you one simple maths question and if you answer it correctly I’ll sign a slip to say that you’ve passed maths, OK?’
    The player nodded.
    “Right” said the coach: “What’s four plus four?”
    The player wrinkled his forehead and thought for a while, then replied, “Eight!”
    Immediately all the other team members shouted,” Aw, come on coach. Give him another chance!”
     
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    William came home from the doctor looking very worried. “What is it? asked his wife. “What’s the problem?”
    “Well, the doctor told me I have to take one of these pills every day for the rest of my life,” explained William.
    “So what?” his wife replied. “Lots of people have to do that.”
    “I know. But he only gave me four pills.”
     
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    A woman is feeling unwell, so she goes to her GP. He immediately spots the problem and says to her, “Take this red pill after breakfast with a glass of water.”
    “OK.”
    “Take this blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water.”
    “Ok.”
    “And take this yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water.”
    “Good heavens,” says the woman, “whatever is the matter with me?”
    “You don’t drink enough water.”
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 54
    September 4th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Candida the Elder Blessed Catherine of Racconigi Blessed Dina Bélanger Hermione of Ephesus Ida of Herzfeld Irmgardis (of Süchteln) Moses and Aaron (Lutheran Church and Eastern Orthodox Church) Paul Jones (Episcopal Church) Rosalia Rose of Viterbo Rufinus, Silvanus, and Vitalicus Thamel and companions Ultan of Ardbraccan September 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Immigrant's Day (Argentina) Newspaper Carrier Day (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Wildlife Day
    Macadamia Nut Day
    Turkey Vulture Day
    Beard Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Eat an Extra Dessert Day
    September 4 is Eat an Extra Dessert Day, a day that encourages people to treat their sweet tooth with a second (or well, even a third) helping of dessert.

    It is unclear who created this awesome but unofficial holiday, but we think that whoever it was, deserves a big slice of cake after a huge bowl of ice cream!
    Ends the Meal
    Desserts are usually a sweet course served after the end of a meal. While in the past typically this meal took place at the end of the day, in modern times desserts can accompany a mid-day meal as well. Desserts are also known as sweets in many parts of the world.
    This sweet holiday is also called National Eat an Extra Dessert Day in the in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Guiltlessly indulge yourself in a little extra dessert on this day and inform everyone you know about this happy holiday. We are convinced that it will soon become everyone's favorite made-up holiday! Spend some time in the kitchen whipping up some delicious desserts to share with your friends, family and co-workers. Have a dessert party! Ask guests to bring their favorite dessert to share and spend the evening enjoying the desserts. Make sure you are all equipped with healthy food for the sugar crash afterwards! Did You Know…
    …that the word dessert comes from the French word desservir, which means to clear the table?
     
    ***
     
    The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.”
    The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ll be $10,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.”
    A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”
    The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”
    The next day, the same guy walks into the bar. The bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”
    The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!” The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.”
    To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”
     
    ***
     
    Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
    She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens.
    “That’s so clever,” the woman gasps. “How did you do it?”
    “Easy,” replies the man. “These are khakis”.
     
    ***
     
    An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my garden one afternoon. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he was well looked after. I gave him a few pats on the head and he followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door and I let him out.
    The next day he was back. He resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued for several weeks.
    Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “I’d like to find out who the owner of this wonderful dog is, and ask if you’re aware that almost every afternoon he comes to my house for a nap.”
    The next day he arrived for his nap with a different note pinned to his collar.
    “He lives in a home with six children,” it read. “Two are under the age of three and he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 53
    September 3rd - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Mansuetus of Toul Marinus Pope Gregory I Remaclus Prudence Crandall (Episcopal Church (USA)) September 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) China's victory over Japan commemoration related observances: Armed Forces Day (Republic of China) V-J Day (People's Republic of China) Feast of San Marino and the Republic, celebrates the foundation of the Republic of San Marino in 301. Flag Day (Australia) Independence Day, celebrates the second independence of Qatar from the United Kingdom in 1971. Levy Mwanawasa Day (Zambia) Memorial Day (Tunisia) Merchant Navy Remembrance Day (Canada) Merchant Navy Day (United Kingdom) National Welsh Rarebit Day (United States) Tokehega Day (Tokelau, New Zealand)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Bring Your Manners To Work Day
    College Colors Day
    Lazy Mom’s Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Skyscraper Day
    Skyscraper Day is held annually on September 3. Celebrate this unofficial holiday by climbing or taking the elevator/lift up a skyscraper and by acknowledging the architectural and engineering feats that make such buildings possible.

    The holiday, which has unknown origins, encourages people to learn more about the science and art of building skyscrapers.
    40 Floors
    Skyscrapers are very tall buildings that define a city's skyline. The term originates in the United States in the late 1880s during the building boom in Chicago and New York. At this time, buildings that had more floors than the surrounding buildings were called skyscrapers. These days, buildings that have have at least 40 or more floors are designated as skyscrapers.
    Three Height Criteria
    The Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat, an international organization of civil engineers and architects based in Chicago, U.S. is an authority on the official heights of tall buildings and determines which building receives the title of the Tallest Building in the World. The Council ranks the heights of buildings based on three criteria: the height of building from the lowest level to the architectural top, excluding antennae and flagpoles; the highest occupied floor; and from the lowest level to the highest level, including antennae and flagpoles.
    How to Celebrate?
    Go up a skyscraper and take in the views from the top floor. Many skyscrapers have restaurants or cafes at their top floors - why not have a meal there while enjoying your city’s landscape? Learn more about the science and engineering behind these architectural marvels. Make your own skyscraper city using toy blocks or other materials. Did You Know...
    ...that in Hong Kong tall buildings do not have a floor numbered 13 or any floors that have a 4 in its number. This is because the numbers 13 and 4 are culturally seen as unlucky numbers.
     
    ***
     
    James and Stephen go into a sweet shop. James stealthily pockets three bars of chocolate and slips out. Gloating, he challenges Stephen to do something even bigger.
    “No problem,” replies Stephen. “I’ll show you the real art of thieving.”
    Re-entering the shop, Stephen approaches a member of staff and asks, “Would you like to see a magic trick?”
    The staff member nods, so Stephen takes three chocolate bars off the shelf and eats them all.
    “So where’s the magic?” asks the staff member.
    “Just check my friend’s pocket,” Stephen replies, pointing to James. “You’ll find all three bars intact.”
     
    ***
     
    At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
    On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
    “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
     
    ***
     
    Two hunters hired a pilot to fly them deep into the wilderness to look for deer. After bagging six large bucks, they were loading the plane to return when the pilot said, “Hold on. This aircraft is only rated to carry four deer.”
    The two men objected strongly. “Last year we got six and the pilot let us take them all – and he had the exact same plane.”
    Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six deer were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down in the forest. Somehow the two men survived, and after climbing from the wreckage the first hunter asked: “Any idea where we are?”
    “Sure,” his friend replied. “I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year.”
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 52
    September 02nd - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Acepsimas of Hnaita and companions (Syriac Orthodox Church) Agricola of Avignon Antoninus of Pamiers Brocard Castor of Apt Diomedes Eleazar Hieu Ingrid of Sweden Justus of Lyon Margaret of Louvain Maxima of Rome Nonnosus William of Roskilde September 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Democracy Day (Tibet) Independence Day (Transnistria, unrecognized) Independence Day (Artsakh, unrecognized) National Blueberry Popsicle Day (United States) National Day, celebrates the independence of Vietnam from Japan and France in 1945 Victory over Japan Day (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Calendar Adjustment Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Bison Ten Yell Day
    On September 2 celebrate the 200th anniversary of any imaginary character of your choosing because it is Bison-Ten-Yell Day.

    Don't get it? It has nothing to do with bisons except for the name. Read Bison-Ten-Yell Day out fast and it sounds like bicentennial day. The origins of this unofficial day are unknown.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you need an excuse for a celebration, today is it. Make up a character or happy event and celebrate its bicentennial on this day. You could even make up a story around the character and have a contest among your guests - whoever comes up with the best and the most historically correct story will win! Since the day has bison in its name, what about spending some time to learn about bisons and their environment? Did You Know…
    …that despite their size, bisons can run very fast? They can gain speeds up to 65 km/h (40 mph).
     
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    My wife was checking her emails and told me her password was “mickeyminniebatmanrobintomjerryLondon”.
    I asked her why it needed to be so long.
    “Because,” she replied, “I was told it had to have at least six characters and one capital.”
     
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    I often wonder about people who live in tropical destinations.
    What do their screen savers look like?
     
    ***
     
    A guy in a van pulls up next to a Rolls-Royce at a red light and asks, “Hey, is your car Bluetooth enabled?” The Rolls owner nods.
    “So is mine. Got Wi-Fi?” The Rolls owner nods again. “Me too. What about a double bed?”
    “No. Do you?” asks the Rolls guy.
    “Yep.” The light changes and the van takes off.
    Jealous, the Rolls guy heads to a Pimp My Rolls customising shop and gets a double bed installed, then drives around until he finds the van parked on the side of the road. He raps on the window. “Guess what? I got a double bed put in my car too.”
    The van owner peers out. “You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!”
     
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    Just for your interest. These are some their notable descendants:
    Hillary Clinton
    Angelina Jolie
    Madonna
    Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion (Hall of Fame ice hockey player)
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 51
    September 1st - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the Start of the Armed Struggle (Eritrea) Christian feast day: Constantius (Costanzo) of Aquino David Pendleton Oakerhater (Anglican Communion) Giles Loup (Lupus) of Sens Nivard (Nivo) Sixtus of Reims Terentian (Terrence) Verena Vibiana The beginning of the new liturgical year (Eastern Orthodox Church and the Eastern Catholic Church) September 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Slovakia) Disaster Prevention Day (Japan)[43] Earliest day on which Father's Day can fall, while September 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday in September. (Australia, Fiji, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea) Earliest day on which Labor Day can fall, while September 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Monday in September. (Canada, United States, Palau) First day of school in many countries in Asia, Europe and the Americas. Flag Day (Honduras) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Uzbekistan from the Soviet Union in 1991. Journalist Day (Taiwan) Knowledge Day (Russia, Ukraine and Armenia) Random Acts of Kindness Day (New Zealand) Veteran's Day (Poland) Wattle Day (Australia)  
    Observances (click on the day for details)
    Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day
    Tofu Day
    Global Talent Acquisition Day
    Ginger Cat Appreciation Day
    Letter Writing Day
    Cherry Popover Day
     
     
    Observances (click on the month for details)
    Sepsis Awareness Month
    Friendship Month
    Sourdough September
    Chiari Awareness Month
    Read A New Book Month
    Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month
    Pulmonary Fibrosis Awareness Month
    Suicide Prevention Month
    Shake Month
    Sewing Month
    Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
    Hunger Action Month
    Happy Cat Month
    Honey Month
    Chicken Month
    Piano Month
    Preparedness Month
    Library Card Sign-up Month
    Mushroom Month
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Emma Nutt Day
    Emma Nutt Day on September 1 celebrates the world’s first female telephone operator, Emma M Nutt.

    Like almost all professions, telephone services began as a man's world. The first telephone operators were all men, though very soon managers and customers realized that they were often impatient and rude with their customers.
    To avoid more unhappy customers, the Edwin Holmes Telephone Dispatch Company in Boston, Massachusetts decided to hire women. So on September 1, 1878 Alexander Graham Bell himself appointed Emma as the world's first female telephone operator. Her trailblazing career lasted for almost 35 years.
    Pioneering Women
    Emma's appointment was pathbreaking in many ways. She spearheaded a drastic change in the face and the tone of the telecommunications industry in the United States - by the mid 1900s, a majority of telephone operators in the country were women. Additionally, her employment strengthened the slowly pervading notion that women could work outside their homes and also contribute to the society and economy.
    Other annual holidays that celebrate pioneering women around the world include Helen Keller Day, The Duchess Who Wasn’t Day, Frankenstein Day, Ada Lovelace Day, and Jane Addams Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Like Emma, there are many other women who paved the path for future generations of girls to opt for careers and professions generally only reserved for men. Learn about their lives and their contribution to the society. Read more about the telephone industry and the science behind telecommunications. Pick up the phone and call the women who inspire you, and let them know that they are your role models. Did You Know…
    …that Emma Nutt and her sister Stella were the world's first sister duo to work as telephone operators?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    No Rhyme or Reason Day
    September 1 is No Rhyme or Reason Day. The unofficial holiday is dedicated to the English language idiom, no rhyme or reason, which means something that occurs without any purpose or explanation.

    The idiom is thought to have first found its way in the English language through the 1460 book The Boke of Nurture by John Russell, though it is most famous for its appearance in the 1590 Shakespearean play Comedy of Errors. It once again showed up in Shakespeare's 1600 play, As You Like It.
    The holiday is also known in the United States as National No Rhyme or Reason Day or National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Do you need a rhyme or a reason to celebrate this fun holiday? Here are some ways you can honor this expression:
    What about celebrating this holiday by tapping into your creative side? Spend the day writing free verse - poetry without any rhyme. Have a no rhyming contest with a friend or a co-worker. Find words that do not rhyme with anything else. Whoever finds the most words wins a copy of a thesaurus or a dictionary! Do something nice for someone for no rhyme or reason. Sometimes the most generous gestures are the ones that are undertaken without any cause or purpose. Did You Know...
    ...that in literature and poetry, words that are spelled similarly but pronounced differently are called eye rhymes?
     
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    Most of my source pages vanished(I lost them), more variety next time.
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    August 31st - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Baloch-Pakhtun Unity Day (Balochs and Pashtuns, International observance) Christian feast day: Aidan of Lindisfarne[12] Aristides of Athens Cuthburh Dominguito del Val Joseph of Arimathea Nicodemus Paulinus of Trier Raymond Nonnatus Wala of Corbie Waltheof, Earl of Northumbria August 31 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Solidarity and Freedom (Poland) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Kyrgyzstan from the Soviet Union in 1991. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Malaya from the United Kingdom in 1957. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Trinidad and Tobago from the United Kingdom in 1962. Romanian Language Day (Romania)[21] Our Language (Moldova) National Trail Mix Day (United States) North Borneo Self-government Day (Sabah, Borneo)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Overdose Awareness Day
    We Love Memoirs Day
    Love Litigating Lawyers Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Eat Outside Day
    August 31 is Eat Outside Day. So, pack up a lunch, head on over to the park and commune with nature while you eat your meal under the Sun.

    This unofficial holiday of unknown origins encourages eating outside as an excuse for people to go outdoors and take in some fresh air and enjoy some time under the Sun.
    The day is also known as Eat Outdoors Day or National Eat Outside Day in the US.
    How to Celebrate?
    Pack up a picnic lunch and enjoy it with family and friends in the park. Grill outside in the yard or take a portable grill to the park. If you usually have lunch at your desk at work, what about going out for your lunch break and having your meal under the Sun? Did You Know…
    …that picnics began as a meal break for hunters while hunting?
     
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    August 30th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alexander of Constantinople (Eastern Orthodoxy) Blessed Alfredo Ildefonso Schuster Blessed Eustáquio van Lieshout Blessed Stephen Nehmé (Maronite Church / Catholic Church) Charles Chapman Grafton (Episcopal Church) Fantinus Felix and Adauctus Fiacre Jeanne Jugan Narcisa de Jesús Pammachius August 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Kazakhstan) Constitution Day (Turks and Caicos Islands) Independence Day (Tartarstan, Russia not formally recognized) International Day of the Disappeared[28] Popular Consultation Day (East Timor) Saint Rose of Lima's Day (Peru) Victory Day (Turkey)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Slinky Day
    Amagwinya Day
    Grief Awareness Day
    Holistic Pet Day
    International Whale Shark Day
    Toasted Marshmallow Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Frankenstein Day
    August 30 is Frankenstein Day. The unofficial holiday celebrates the life and times of English author Mary Shelley who wrote one of the word’s most read monster novel, Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus.

    Born on August 30, 1797, Shelley published Frankenstein in 1818 anonymously at the young age of 22.
    Early Science Fiction
    Considered to be a predecessor of modern day science fiction, Frankenstein recounts the story of scientist Victor Frankenstein and his experiment that ends with the creation of a human-like creature. In the novel, the creature who is hated and rejected by everyone due to its appearance does not have a name. In popular culture, however, it is mistakenly referred to as Frankenstein after its creator.
    Although everyone in the novel believes him to be a monster, he is also an intelligent and emotional being who is looking to be accepted by others.
    The holiday is also known as National Frankenstein Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Fan of the macabre, the strange, and the scary? Here are some ways you can celebrate this literary holiday:
    Pick up a copy of the book and spend the day reading it. Watch the many TV and film adaptations of the book. Halloween may be 2 months away, but that doesn't mean you can't celebrate Frankenstein Day by hosting a Frankenstein themed party. Decorate your venue as a lab, serve green colored food, and bake a cake with Frankenstein's face on it. Think of this as a dress rehearsal for your Halloween party! Frankenstein isn't Mary Shelley's only literary work. She wrote a number of short stories, travelogues, historical novels, and even a novel, The Last Man that depicted a apocalyptical world. Honor her by reading one of her works. Did You Know…
    …that a similar holiday called Frankenstein Friday is celebrated every year on the last Friday in October?
     
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    Did you hear about the new e-reader?
    Reader’s Digest and Amazon created software that will condense books when you download them. It’s called the Dwindle.
    ***
    Q: How many sheep does it take to make one sweater?
    A: Depends how well they can knit.
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    Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
    A: It’s Christmas, Eve!
    ***
    Would You Like to Join …
    The Yoko Club? Oh no.   The German Philosophy Club? I Kant.   The Compulsive-Rhymers Club? Okey-dokey.   The Codependence Club? Can I bring a friend?   The Procrastinators Club? Maybe next week.  
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    August 29th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adelphus of Metz Beheading of St. John the Baptist Eadwold of Cerne Euphrasia Eluvathingal (Syro-Malabar Catholic Church) John Bunyan (Episcopal Church) Sabina Vitalis, Sator and Repositus August 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day against Nuclear Tests[20] Miners' Day (Ukraine) Day of Remembrance of the Defenders of Ukraine (Ukraine) Municipal Police Day (Poland) National Sports Day (India) Slovak National Uprising Anniversary (Slovakia) Telugu Language Day (India)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    More Herbs, Less Salt Day
    Potteries Bottle Oven Day
    Individual Rights Day
    Pony Express Day
    Chop Suey Day
    Lemon Juice Day
     
    Fun Observances
    According to Hoyle Day
    On August 29, honor expertise, authority, and the rules because it is According to Hoyle Day. Named after the English language phrase, according to Hoyle, the unofficial holiday celebrates the life and times of Englishman Edmond Hoyle, who died on this day in 1769.

    A lawyer by trade, Edmond Hoyle is best known for publishing books detailing the rules and regulations of many popular card and board games of his time, including chess and backgammon. He is also known for writing an authoritative pamphlet on the card game of Whist.
    Game of Skills
    Whist is a trick card game played by two teams of two players each. The card game evolved from a previous game called Ruff and Honors and is the predecessor of Bridge. Popular in the 18th and the 19th century, the game required mathematical and logical skills.
    Appeal to Authority
    The phrase according to Hoyle came from the authoritative books Hoyle wrote on the rules and regulations of games. When people played these games and made a play that was questioned, they could invoke Hoyle's rules by saying “according to Hoyle...”. Today, the phrase is used generally to suggest expertise or the highest authority on a subject matter.
    How to Celebrate?
    Play a game of Whist by following Hoyle's rules. Don't know how? Today is a good excuse to learn! Are you an expert on a subject? Why not spend the day jotting your thought about the subject? Did You Know…
    …the word Whist comes from whisk, from whisking or moving the cards during the game?
     
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    Crossword Puzzle Answers You’d Never get Right:
    • Star of Gravity (Newton) • You say potato, I say __(carbsmakemefat) • Turned water into wine (ernestandjulio) • Number of wheels on an 18-wheeler (goingtoofasttocount) • Etsy, Russian (nyetsy)  
    ***
     
    News that her third child was going to be a girl thrilled my cousin, who already had two boys. "My husband wants to call her Sunny," she told me, "and I want to give her Anna as her middle name in memory of my mom."

    I thought they might want to reconsider their decision, since their birth announcement would herald the arrival of Sunny Anna Rainey.
     
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    My niece bought her five-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside down and finally found him. Several weeks later, while Kayleigh was at school, he escaped from his cage again. My niece searched frantically but never found the critter. Hoping to make the loss less painful for Kayleigh, my niece took the cage out of her room.

    When Kayleigh came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother’s lap. “We’ve got a serious problem,” she announced. “Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took the cage.”
     
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    August 28th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alexander of Constantinople Augustine of Hippo Edmund Arrowsmith Hermes Moses the Black August 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) National Grandparents Day (Mexico)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Franchise Appreciation Day
    Cherry Turnover Day
    Crackers Over The Keyboard Day
    Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day
    Radio Commercials Day
    Race Your Mouse Around The Icons Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Bow Tie Day
    August 28 is Bow Tie Day, an annual holiday that celebrates the elegant fashion accessory usually worn by men at formal occasions.

    A type of necktie, the bow tie became a part of a fashionable man's wardrobe in the early 19th century. It is believed that tie evolved from another type of male neckwear called the cravat. The cravat originated in Croatia in the 17th century as a band of cloth that was wrapped around the neck and was possibly worn as a way for soldiers to close the fronts of their shirts or to hide any stains on the front of their shirts. By the 18th century, the cravat had become popular among fashionable circles in France and Europe.
    No Longer Formal Wear
    In the early days, the bow tie was specifically reserved for formal occasions. Black tie attire became a term synonymous with tuxedos worn with black bow ties. Outside of formal events, bow ties gained a reputation of being associated with stodgy intellectualism, thought to be worn by people who did not care much about what others thought of them. In recent years, bow ties have become cool again. Today, they are part of the daily attire of many men and women.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have never worn a bow tie before, today is the day to procure one and spend some time learning how to tie it. Host a bow tie party. Decorate the venue with bow ties and require all your guests to come wearing a bow tie. Serve cookies and cakes in the shape of bows and give out bow ties as favors or prizes for party games. Do you have a creative side? Why not then hand knit, crochet, or sew your own unique bow tie to wear to your next event? Did You Know…
    …that a very fashionable person is known as a clotheshorse?
     
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    On vacation my nine-year-old son, Ryan, and I were at the pool, where two attractive young women wearing thong bikinis were sunning themselves. I noticed that Ryan kept staring at them, but he would occasionally glance back at me.

    When they got up to leave, Ryan watched them particularly closely. I was bracing myself for questions he might have when he turned to me and whispered, "Dad, can I take that candy bar those girls left behind?"
     
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    A friend of mine has an adopted son who, at six-foot-one, loves to play basketball. The boy was applying to basketball camp, and a section of the application called for him to write a brief essay about himself. My friend got a lump in his throat as he read his son's words: "Most of all I am thankful that I am adopted…"

    Then my friend got a cold dose of reality as he continued: "because my dad is so short."
     
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    My wife, a real estate agent, wrote an ad for a house she was listing. The house had a second-floor suite that could be accessed using a lift chair that slid along the staircase. Quickly describing this feature, she inadvertently made it sound even more attractive:
    "Mother-in-law suite comes with an electric chair."
     
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    Bread Crumbs 46
    August 27th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Baculus of Sorrento Caesarius of Arles Decuman Gebhard of Constance Euthalia John of Pavia Lycerius (or: Glycerius, Lizier) Máel Ruba (or Rufus) (Scotland) Margaret the Barefooted Monica of Hippo, mother of Augustine of Hippo Narnus Phanourios of Rhodes Rufus and Carpophorus Syagrius of Autun Thomas Gallaudet and Henry Winter Syle (Episcopal Church) August 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Film and Movies Day (Russia) Independence Day (Republic of Moldova), celebrates the independence of Moldova from the USSR in 1991. Lyndon Baines Johnson Day (Texas, United States) National Banana Lovers Day (United States) National Pots De Creme Day (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    International Bat Night
    Daffodil Day
    Petroleum Day
    Tug-of-War Day
    Bubblegum Day
     
    Fun Observances
    The Duchess Who Wasn't Day
    The Duchess Who Wasn’t Day on August 27 celebrates the life, times and works of Irish author Margaret Wolfe Hungerford.

    Born in 1855, Hungerford wrote anonymously under the pen name, The Duchess. She is most well known for her book Molly Bawn.
    It is unclear why August 27 was chosen by the unknown creators of this unofficial holidays to honor Hungerford, but some people speculate that the day is called the Duchess Who Wasn’t Day because of the anonymity in which Hungerford spent her life as a writer.
    Anonymous Female Writers
    History is full of women writers who spent their lives writing and publishing books and novels anonymously. This was because in the past, it was believed that women could not write. Books published under a female name were either rejected for publication or did not do well in the bookstores. This forced talented writers like Hungerford to publish under pen names or male sounding names.
    Some examples of now famous authors who wrote under pseudonyms because they were women are: the Brontë sisters, who wrote under the names Currer Bell (Charlotte), Ellis Bell (Emily), and Acton Bell (Anne); Jane Austen, who wrote as The Lady; and Mary Ann Evans, who wrote Middlemarch as George Elliot. The Dutchess Who Wasn't Day also celebrates these and many other women authors who were unable to be themselves because of societal constraints.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the day by reading some of Hungerford’s work. In addition to Molly Bawn, her other works include A Little Rebel, Phyllis and Faith and Unfaith. Read books by other anonymous women authors and read about their lives as women trying to break societal expectations of what they could and could not do. Did You Know...
    ...that Hungerford is attributed for making the phrase “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” famous?
     
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    At the nudist colony for communists, two men are sitting on the front porch. One turns to the other and says, "I say, have you read Marx?"
    The other replies, "Yes … I believe it's these wicker chairs."
     
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    It had been a long time—seven years to be exact—since my friend Brian had been to see his doctor. So the nurse told him that if he wanted to make an appointment, he would have to be reprocessed as a new patient.

    "Okay," said Brian, "reprocess me."

    "I'm sorry," she told him. "We're not accepting any new patients."
     
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    Ever wonder what medical personnel scribble on those clipboards attached to the foot of the bed? Here are some incredible comments taken from hospital charts:

    "The patient refused autopsy."

    "The patient has no previous history of suicides."

    "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."

    "She is numb from her toes down."

    "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

    "Discharge status: Alive but without my permission."
     
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    August 26th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adrian and Natalia of Nicomedia (Eastern Orthodox Church) Alexander of Bergamo (Roman Catholic Church) Blessed Ceferino Namuncurá David Lewis Jeanne-Elisabeth Bichier des Ages Mariam Baouardy (Melkite Greek Catholic Church) Melchizedek Our Lady of Częstochowa Simplicius, Constantius and Victorinus Teresa Jornet Ibars Zephyrinus August 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) The Sunday nearest to this date is Go Topless Day (International observance) Herero Day (Namibia) Heroes' Day (Namibia) Repentance Day (Papua New Guinea) Women's Equality Day (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Burger Day
    Cherry Popsicle Day
    WebMistress Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Dog Appreciation Day
    August 26 is Dog Day or Dog Appreciation Day, a day to appreciate your best friend on four legs.

    Founded in 2004 by pet and family lifestyle expert and animal behaviorist Colleen Paige, the day honors dogs for all that they do to enrich our lives and communities. The holiday also aims to raise awareness about dog adoption and the importance of providing rescue dogs with a safe and loving environment.
    Man's Best Friend
    Often known as man's best friend, dogs were the first animals to be domesticated by humans and they were often used for guarding property, herding stock, and for hunting game. Today, dogs are used as companions and are considered to be a member of the family in many parts of the world.
    The unofficial holiday is also sometimes called World Dog Day, National Dog Appreciation Day, or International Dog Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Adopt a dog and give it a loving home. If you have a dog, treat them with their favorite treats. If you are unable to have a dog in your family, celebrate the day by donating your time and money to the local animal and dog shelter. Did You Know…
    …that Dalmatians are born without any spots? Their characteristic spots appear as they grow older.
     
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    The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?”
    A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get the new Barbie doll.”
    The public safety officer shook his head and muttered, “Who can resist a Barbie queue?”
    ***
    A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"
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    I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
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    Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
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    Someone sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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    “How is your long distance relationship going?” 
    “So far, so good.”
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    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
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    In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything, that is except the smoked salmon. Thus were created the world's first anti-lox breaks.
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    Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
     
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    Bread Crumbs 44
    August 25th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Æbbe of Coldingham Aredius Genesius of Arles Genesius of Rome Ginés de la Jara (or Genesius of Cartagena) Gregory of Utrecht Joseph Calasanz Louis IX of France Blessed Ludovicus Baba Blessed Ludovicus Sasada Blessed Luis Sotelo Menas of Constantinople Blessed Miguel de Carvalho Patricia of Naples Blessed Pedro Vásquez Thomas de Cantilupe (or of Hereford) August 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Songun (North Korea) Earliest day on which Father's Day can fall, while August 31 is the latest; celebrated on the last Monday in August. (South Sudan) Earliest day on which La Tomatina can fall, while August 31 is the latest; celebrated on the last Wednesday in August. (Buñol) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Uruguay from Brazil in 1825. Liberation Day (France) Soldier's Day (Brazil)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Banana Split Day
    Whiskey Sour Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Kiss and Make Up Day
    August 25 is Kiss and Make Up Day, a day to let go of resentment, grudges, anger, and indignation. The unofficial holiday encourages people to make up and reconcile with anyone they are estranged with - at work, school, or in their family.

    Conflict is one of the biggest truths in life. No matter how much we may try, disagreements are a big part of our relationships with others.
    Most of the times, these differences can be easily set aside and forgotten. Sometimes, however, arguments and misunderstandings can take an ugly turn, estranging and isolating people from each other.
    Kiss and make up is an English language idiom that means to forgive someone and be friends again with them.
    A Second Chance
    Kiss and Make Up Day provides a second chance - it is a day to set aside all difference and let people in our lives know that despite all the quarrels and the disagreements, they mean a lot to us.
    How to Celebrate?
    Staying angry with a loved one can be harmful not only to a relationship but to one’s own mental and physical health. So, take this day to let go of all the anger and make up with someone you have quarreled with. Did You Know...
    ...that in many cultures kissing on the cheek is a sign of respect and friendship?
     
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    When a music student brought his French horn to my shop for repair, he complained that the instrument “felt stuffy” and he couldn’t blow air through it. It’s not unusual to find partial blockages in brass instruments if small items get lodged in the tubing, but when I tested the instrument, the horn was completely blocked.
    After much probing and prodding, a small tangerine dropped out of the bell. “Oh,” said the musician when I handed him the fruit.
    Seeing the bewildered look on my face, he explained, “My mom used the horn for a cornucopia in a Thanksgiving centerpiece.”
     
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    A Briton flies into Australia 
and is asked by the immigration 
officer, “Do you have any felony 
convictions?”
    The Briton replies, “Sorry. I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”
     
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    I had spent the late winter months waiting impatiently for signs of spring. When the first warm, sunny Saturday arrived, I eagerly unlocked the storm door and stepped onto our patio deck. I was pleased by the sight of green sprouts and the sounds of singing birds. More than anything else, I delighted in the sweet aroma of the spring air. Knocking on the kitchen window, I beckoned to my wife to join me in enjoying the pleasures of the season.
    She quietly brought me back to earth when she reminded me that I was standing over the dryer vent, inhaling the scent of fabric softener.
     
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    Bread Crumbs 43
    August 24th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abbán of Ireland Aurea of Ostia Bartholomew the Apostle (Roman Catholic, Anglican) Jeanne-Antide Thouret Maria Micaela Desmaisieres Massa Candida (Martyrs of Utica) Owen (Audoin) August 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Flag Day (Liberia) Independence Day or Den' Nezalezhnosti, celebrates the independence of Ukraine from the Soviet Union in 1991. International Strange Music Day National Waffle Day (United States) Nostalgia Night (Uruguay) Willka Raymi (Cusco, Peru)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    International Strange Music Day
    Knife Day
    Peach Pie Day
    Internaut Day
    Vesuvius Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Pluto Demoted Day
    Pluto Demoted Day on August 24 commemorates the day in 2006 when Pluto's status was downgraded from a full sized planet to a dwarf planet by the International Astronomical Union (IAU).

    Discovered in 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh at the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona, Pluto was the Solar System's 9th planet for 76 years. Given the name of the ancient Greek ruler of the underworld, Pluto was named by an 11-year-old girl called Venetia Burney.
    250 Year Orbit
    Because Pluto is very far from us - on average it is about 6 billion kilometers (4 billion miles) from Earth, little is known about the dwarf planet. In size, Pluto has a diameter of about 2250 kilometers (1400 miles), which is about two-thirds the size of Earth's Moon.
    Pluto's orbit is highly eccentric. In other words, its orbit around the Sun is not perfectly circular. This means that the distance between it and the Sun varies over time. It takes Pluto about 250 Earth years to orbit once around the Sun, and about 6.5 Earth days to make a full rotation around its axis.
    Demotion to Dwarf Planet
    The IAU defines a planet as a celestial body that "orbits around the Sun, has a nearly round shape and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit." Pluto was reclassified as a dwarf planet because it does not meet the third criteria to be a full-sized planet. It is not the dominant object on its orbit around the Sun - other bodies can be found in the region around its neighborhood.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate Pluto's previous status as a planet by spendings some time in the day reading about planets and their characteristics. Have children? Take them on a visit to your local planetarium and introduce them to the joys of astronomy. Teach them everything you know about the Solar System and about planets. Maybe you could make a model of the Solar System with them in order to understand how it works? Learn more about dwarf planets and other astronomical objects like comets, asteroids and meteor showers. Did You Know…
    …that Pluto has 5 moons: Charon, Kerberos, Nix, Hydra, and Styx?
     
    ***
     
    My nephew, a flight attendant, split the back of his pants one day during a flight. To save embarrassment, he decided to work in front of the beverage cart, facing forward.
    The arrangement worked perfectly until he got to the last row and a passenger leaned over to him and said in a low voice, "Your fly is open."  
     
    ***
     
    Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery.
    "I'd like to order a large pepperoni, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium.
    "We'll be there in about half an hour," the kid at the other end replied. "Your gate code is still 1238, right?"  
     
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    My sister Darlene has the courage—but not always the skills—to tackle any home-repair project. For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawn mower she once tried to fix. So I wasn't surprised the day my other sister, Jesse, and I found Darlene attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver.
    "I can't get this thing to cooperate," she explained.
    "Why don't you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawn mower?" Jesse suggested.  
     
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    August 23rd - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Battle of Kursk Day (Russia) Christian feast day: Ascelina Asterius, Claudius, and Neon Éogan of Ardstraw Lupus (Luppus) of Novae Philip Benitius Quiriacus and companions, of Ostia Rose of Lima Tydfil Zacchaeus of Jerusalem August 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the National Flag (Ukraine) European Day of Remembrance for Victims of Stalinism and Nazism or Black Ribbon Day (European Union and other countries), and related observances: Liberation from Fascist Occupation Day (Romania) International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition[26] National Day for Physicians (Iran) Umhlanga Day (Swaziland)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Cuban Sandwich Day
    Sponge Cake Day
    Valentino Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Ride Like the Wind Day
    August 23 is Ride Like the Wind Day, a day to well, ride like the wind if you can. The day also commemorates the first time the Kremer Prize was awarded in 1977. The prize is awarded to people who pioneer human powered flight.

    Human powered flights are aircraft that use human muscle power to run. Due to technological issues - they are unable to fly for long distances or for a considerable amount of time - human powered flights are usually flown for experimental and recreational purposes.
    The first authenticated human powered flight that was successful in taking off and flying for a significant distance took place in 1961. Derek Piggott, a glider pilot in the British Royal Air Force flew Southampton University's Man Powered Aircraft on November 9, 1961, for about 600 meters.
    Running Away
    The holiday is a play on the English language phrase run like the wind, which means to run very fast. It is sometimes used in the context of running away from someone or something - the 1980 song Ride Like the Wind, by American singer-songwriter Christopher Cross, recounts the story of an outlaw who runs away to Mexico to avoid punishment.
    Ride like the wind is also sometimes used to refer to the act of doing things without purpose. Just like the wind can change direction at any time, someone riding like the wind can change the course of their lives without any warning and do things without any rhyme or reason.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the history and science of human powered flight. Take flying lessons and ride like the wind. Take your bike out for a spin and feel the wind in your hair. Did You Know…
    …that Jacqueline Cochran was the first woman to break the sound barrier on May 18, 1953?
     
    ***
     
    When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. Did it work?
    Well, one time, as I proudly puffed away at our NCO club,
    an older 
sergeant growled, “Hey, kid, your candy bar’s on fire.”
     
    ***
     
    Sign above the toilet in a women’s latrine at Camp Ripley in Minnesota:
    “If you are reading this sign while using this latrine, you are in the wrong one.”
     
    ***
     
    Few civilians know what a quartermaster does. So during my aircraft carrier’s Family Day, I demonstrated a procedure called semaphore—I grabbed my flags and signaled an imaginary ship.
    Then I asked a little girl, “Now do you know what I do?”
    She said, “You’re a cheerleader.”
     
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    August 22nd - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Fabrizio Guinefort Immaculate Heart of Mary (Roman Catholic calendar of 1960) Queenship of Mary Symphorian and Timotheus August 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which National Heroes' Day (Philippines) can fall, while August 28 is the latest; celebrated on the fourth Monday in August. Flag Day (Russia) Madras Day (Chennai and Tamil Nadu, India) End of Filseta feast in Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo and Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Church International Day Commemorating the Victims of Acts of Violence Based on Religion or Belief (International)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Eat A Peach Day
    Pecan Torte Day
    Take Your Cat to the Vet Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Be An Angel Day
    August 22 is Be An Angel Day. Established in 1993 by Jaune Howard Feldman, the day encourages people to be angels to those in need.

    In many religions, angels are supernatural spirits that are thought to be responsible for protecting humans.
    The day reminds us that even though we can't be actual angels, we can emulate the kindness they are known for. Being kind and good to our fellow human beings is not hard - all we need to do is to stop thinking about ourselves for a while (or a day) and to think about how we can make the world a nicer and kinder place.
    How to Celebrate?
    Be kind to others. Do something to help a stranger. Do random acts of kindness without any expectations of reciprocation. For example, give up your seat on the bus or train to someone else, pay for the coffee the person behind you may buy at the coffee shop, or leave a small gift in your neighbor's mailbox. Volunteer your time and money to a charitable organization. Do something that will bring a smile to the face of people. If you know of someone who is going through a difficult time, give them your support and let them know that you are there for them. Help them out in their difficult times. If someone is being an angel to you, thank them, and let them know that their kindness is being appreciated. Did You Know…
    …that Angelology is the theological study of angels?Be An Angel Day Observances
     
    ***
     
    Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
     
    ***
     
    The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado.
    He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."
     
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    People’s parents actually give them sage advice, like “Do what you love, and the money will follow” or “The early bird gets the worm.”
    All I remember is “Don’t fill up on bread.”
     
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    An African or European swallow?
     
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    August 21st - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Feast Day:              Abraham of Smolensk (Eastern Orthodox Church) Euprepius of Verona Maximilian of Antioch Our Lady of Knock Pope Pius X Sidonius Apollinaris August 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Ninoy Aquino Day (Philippines) Youth Day (Morocco)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Senior Citizens Day
    World Honey Bee Day
    Poet’s Day
    Geocaching Day
    Break The Monotony Day
    Homeless Animals Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Spumoni Day
    August 21 is Spumoni Day, so treat yourself to a slice (or two) of the delicious layered Italian ice cream dessert.

    Originating in Naples, Italy, Spumoni is a dessert made of layers of ice cream that are mixed with candied fruits, whipped cream, and nuts. Served in slices, spumoni traditionally includes chocolate, pistachio, and cherry flavored ice cream, though sometimes raspberry or strawberry ice cream can be used as a substitute for cherry.
    Christmas Dessert
    Popular among Italian immigrants in the United States, Canada, and Argentina, and it is believed that Spumoni was the inspiration for Neapolitan ice cream - the three layered dessert made up of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream.
    In many parts of the United States, Spumoni is considered a Christmas time dessert and is usually paired with cookies of some kind.
    The unofficial holiday is also sometimes called National Spumoni Day in the U.S.
    How to Celebrate?
    In mood for some ice cream? Why not visit your local ice cream shop for a big slice of spumoni? Can't find spumoni where you are? Don't despair, making spumoni from scratch is easy. All you need is chocolate, pistachio, and cherry ice cream, homemade or store bought, some nuts, candied fruits, and whipped cream. Layer the ice creams mixed with the nuts and fruits and the whipped cream one-by-one in a loaf pan, or any other mold of your choice, and let set. Unmold, slice, and enjoy. Don't forget to share it with family and friends. Did You Know...
    ...that in Canada, Spumoni Day is celebrated every year on November 13?
     
    ***
     
    After I warned the nurse taking blood that it would be very hard to find a vein on me, she said, "Don't worry. We've seen worse. Last year we had a girl come in to get a blood test for her marriage license and we had to stick her six times in four places before we got anything."

    "Yes, I know," I said. "That was me!"
     
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    A client of our optometry business was jubilant after I replaced the scratched, dirty lenses in his eyeglasses with new ones. "This is great!" he said. "I just gained two hours of daylight."
     
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    When my wife was about to have our first baby, we brought a tape recorder to the delivery ward to capture the sounds of the birth, the baby's first cry and our doctor's voice saying, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" We intended to use the tape as a fun message on our answering machine to help announce the birth to friends and relatives.

    My wife's labor went relatively smoothly and, when it seemed appropriate, I inserted the blank tape and began recording. Shortly thereafter, our baby was born and we all heard the first cry. The doctor held up the baby and, with tape rolling, loudly proclaimed, "Wow, will you look at the scrotum on him!"
     
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    August 20th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Amadour Bernard of Clairvaux Blessed Georg Häfner Heliodorus of Bet Zabdai Maria De Mattias Oswine of Deira Philibert of Jumièges Samuel (prophet) William and Catherine Booth (Church of England) August 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Feast of Asmá’ (Baháʼí Faith, only if Baháʼí Naw-Rúz falls on March 21) Indian Akshay Urja Day (India) Restoration of Independence Day, re-declaration of the independence of Estonia from the Soviet Union in 1991. Revolution of the King and People (Morocco) Saint Stephen's Day (Hungary) World Mosquito Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    International Day of Medical Transporters
    Men’s Grooming Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Chocolate Pecan Pie Day
    Don't wait till the holiday season to treat yourself and your loved ones to the dessert that many believe is southern United States on a plate - chocolate pecan pie. Enjoy a slice or two of this decadent dessert on August 20, or Chocolate Pecan Pie Day.

    A variant of the pecan pie, chocolate pecan pie is made by baking a mix of pecans, chocolate, eggs, and sugar syrup or honey over a pie crust.
     
    A Rich History
    Considered to be a quintessential southern US dessert and usually served during Thanksgiving and at Christmas time, the pecan pie is thought to have evolved from treacle pies popular during the middle ages in Europe and molasses pies popular in the U.S. during the 19th century.
    Very little is known about the invention of the pecan pie - no mention of it was made in cookbooks until the early 20th century, but some food historians credit the French in New Orleans for creating it after being introduced to the pecan nut by Native Americans.
    Healthful Nuts
    Native to Mexico and the southern United States, pecans are some of the healthiest nuts out there. They are a good source of proteins and magnesium, and are full of antioxidants. They are also known to lower the risk of heart disease and some forms of cancer.
    How to Celebrate?
    With lots of chocolate pecan pie, of course! With all the health benefits pecans have to offer, you can indulge in a slice or 2 guiltlessly. Make a chocolate pecan pie from scratch and share with your family and friends. Try different variations of this classic. Add a dash of cayenne for a Mexican twist or a splash of bourbon to elevate the flavors. Don't want to make a pie? What about making a chocolate pecan pie cheesecake or a chocolate pecan pie milkshake? Did You Know…
    …that pecans are technically drupes not nuts? Drupes are fruits where the seeds are covered by the flesh of the fruit. The seed is the edible part of the fruit and is called the pecan nut. Coffee, pistachios, coconuts, and olives are all drupes.
     
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    My husband was driving home from work when he was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Two days later—same ticket, same cop.
    “So,” the officer said, “have you learned anything?”
    “Yes, I have,” said my husband. “I’ve learned I need to take a different way home from work.”
     
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    Three prisoners broke out 
of their cells and incited a riot. 
After they were caught, the warden asked why they had revolted.
    “Warden,” said one of the men, “we rebelled because the food is 
awful.”
    “I see,” said the warden. “But what did you use to break the bars?”
    “The French toast.”
     
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    A medical student was told to remove the spleen from a cadaver. After he did, he kept poking around.
    “What are you doing?” asked the professor.
    The student answered, “I’m looking for the other one.”
     
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    August 19th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Afghan Independence Day, commemorates the Treaty of Rawalpindi in 1919, granting independence from Britain (Afghanistan) August Revolution Commemoration Day (Vietnam) Birthday of Crown Princess Mette-Marit (Norway) Christian Feast Day: Bernardo Tolomei Bertulf of Bobbio Saint Calminius Ezequiél Moreno y Díaz Feast of the Transfiguration (Julian calendar), and its related observances: Buhe (Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church and Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Church) Saviour's Transfiguration, popularly known as the "Apples Feast" (Russian Orthodox Church and Georgian Orthodox Church) Jean-Eudes de Mézeray Louis of Toulouse Maginus Magnus of Anagni Magnus of Avignon Sebaldus August 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Manuel Luis Quezón Day (Quezon City and other places in the Philippines named after Manuel L. Quezon) National Aviation Day (United States) World Humanitarian Day[57]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    International Orangutan Day
    Potato Day
    International Bow Day
     
    Fun Observances
    World Photo Day
    August 19 is World Photo Day. The unofficial holiday, which is also sometimes known as Photo Day or World Photography Day, is an annual celebration of the art and science of photography.

    Created in 2009 by Australian photographer Korske Ara, the day encourages people to pick up their camera and be inspired by other fellow photographers to take pictures and share them with the world.
    A Modern Innovation
    While photography is a fairly modern innovation, the human desire to capture moments and memories and share them with others is as old as the history of humankind itself. One of the oldest attempts to record events was through the discovery of the camera obscura. It is a device with a hole through which light passes and creates an inverted image of the scene outside. Known to have been used as a way to recreate events - artists would sketch or trace the image in order to record it - for centuries, the earliest records of camera obscura date back to 400 BCE China.
    Photography, as we know it today, did not come about the early 1900s when people found a way to permanently capture a scene on a surface using chemicals that reacted to light. The earliest surviving photograph dates back to 1826 or 1827. It was taken by French inventor Joseph Nicéphore Niépce. The photograph is a view of Niépce's estate in Burgundy, France.
    A Hobby of Many
    Cameras and photography went through a lot of technological innovations in the 20th century. Today, the availability of affordable and high-quality digital cameras has made photography a widespread hobby.
    How to Celebrate?
    Whether you are an amateur, a professional, or someone who spends most of his or her day taking phone pictures and sharing them with your social media followers, World Photography Day is an easy holiday to celebrate. Here are some ways you can enjoy this day:
    Learn and read more about the history and science behind photography. If you have always wanted to learn photography, maybe today is the time to start taking lessons. If you are a photographer, why not volunteer your time to teach your craft and trade to others? Did You Know…
    …that some 12 Hasselblad cameras were left on the Moon by various missions? Some suggest that this was done in order to compensate for the weight of rock and soil samples the astronauts brought back to Earth.
     
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    Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Eriksson and Francisco Pizarro?
    They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.
     
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    Noah and the Snakes
    With the Ark settled safely after the flood, Noah opens the doors and commands the animals, “Go forth and multiply!” All the animals depart the Ark, except for two snakes in the back.   Noah proclaims again, “Go forth and multiply,” yet the snakes stay put.   Perturbed, Noah finally asks them, “Why have you not followed my command?”   The snakes flicker their tongues and answer, “We can’t multiply, Noah—we’re Adders.”  
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    My wife and I run a small restaurant where we often name our specials after our employees—dishes like "Chicken Mickey," after our dishwasher who gave us the recipe, and "Rod's Ribs," after a waiter who had his personal style of barbecue.
    One evening after rereading the menu, I broke with this tradition and changed the description of the special we had named after our chef.
    Despite her skills and excellent reputation, somehow I didn't think an entrée named "Salmon Ella" would go over big with our customers.  
     
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    August 18th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Agapitus of Palestrina Alberto Hurtado Daig of Inniskeen Evan (or Inan) Fiacre Florus and Laurus Helena of Constantinople (Roman Catholic Church) William Porcher DuBose (Episcopal Church) August 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Arbor Day (Pakistan) Armed Forces Day (North Macedonia) Birthday of Virginia Dare (Roanoke Island) Constitution Day (Indonesia) Long Tan Day, also called Vietnam Veterans' Day (Australia) National Science Day (Thailand)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Bad Poetry Day
    Never Give Up Day
    Pinot Noir Day
    Serendipity Day
    Bubblegum Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Mail Order Catalog Day
    August 18 is Mail Order Catalog Day, an annual holiday that celebrates the old-fashioned way of shopping by choosing items from a printed catalog, and ordering and paying for it through the post/ mail or over the telephone.

    It is believed, that the unofficial holiday commemorates the anniversary of the day in 1872 when American entrepreneur Aaron Montgomery Ward sent out the first modern mail order catalog to customers in Chicago.
    Mail order catalogs or mail order catalogues are a type of direct marketing strategy where companies can communicate directly and personally with the customers. The catalog is a publication, not unlike a magazine, that lists all the items available to buy from a business and their prices.
    Colorful History
    Mail order shopping has a colorful history. Historians believe that one of the first shopping catalogs was produced in the late 15th century, when Italian publisher, Aldus Manutius of Venice, published a list of books his company - Aldine Press - was printing.
    In 1667, William Lucas published a gardening catalog in England, and in 1744, Benjamin Franklin became one of the first people in America to print a catalog from which people could choose to buy books and scientific publications.
    Mail order shopping did not become popular in the United States until the early 19th century when farmers and book publishers started taking advantage of the newly-started national postal service and an expanded railway system to sell seeds and books all over the country. By the 20th century, mail order catalogs selling anything from groceries to full-fledged homes became a big part of daily mail received by people.
    Today, with the advances in Internet technology, printed mail order catalogs are quickly being replaced by online shopping.
    How to Celebrate?
    Order something from a mail order catalog. Yes, despite the decline in their popularity, some companies still publish mail order catalogs. Pick one up and spend some time going through it today. Visit your local thrift store of flea market and look for vintage mail order catalogs. For many years, businesses spent a lot of money and time creating the perfect catalog. Today, they are not only a glimpse of life back in time, but are also highly coveted for their artistic value. Did You Know…
    …that the Hammacher Schlemmer is the oldest mail order catalog still in print today? The catalog was first printed in 1848 and sells hardware and tools.
     
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    A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents.
    “I can see why it would be dangerous to drink and drive,” she said.
    “The straw could go up your nose.”
     
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    When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. He was very impressed that the stable hands were riding without a saddle. I explained to him that it's called riding bareback. When I returned him to his parents, they asked him how he enjoyed his pony ride.
    He excitedly told them that he saw grownups riding naked!
     
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    My son was born while I was serving abroad, so he was three 
before we met. When I got home, I decided it was time for a little father-son bonding time. I bought him a 
toy razor and invited him to “shave” with me. In the bathroom, I took 
up my razor and started shaving.
    
I looked around to see how my son was doing. His foot was up on the side of the bathtub, and he was 
running the razor up and down 
his leg.
    So much for male bonding.
     
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    August 17th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Clare of Montefalco[18] Hyacinth of Poland[19] Jeanne Delanoue[20] Samuel Johnson, Timothy Cutler, and Thomas Bradbury Chandler (Episcopal Church)[21] August 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Engineer's Day (Colombia) Flag Day (Bolivia) Independence Day, celebrates the independence proclamation of Indonesia from Japan in 1945. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Gabon from France in 1960. Marcus Garvey Day (Jamaica) Prekmurje Union Day (Slovenia) San Martin Day (Argentina)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Vanilla Custard Day
    Black Cat Appreciation Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Thrift Shop Day
    August 17 is Thrift Shop Day. It is a perfect holiday for those of you who like a good bargain and are a fan of old, vintage items.

    The origins of the holiday are unknown, but we can assume that the inventor of this unofficial holiday aimed to encourage people to visit their local thrift shop and to bring home some secondhand and thrifted goodies.
    Old and Cheap
    A thrift store is a store that sells old, used and vintage items for discounted prices. A thrift store is also sometimes called a secondhand shop, a consignment shop, or a resale shop. In many parts of the world, charities run thrift stores as a way to raise money for their cause. Thrifting - the act of buying cheap clothing and household items from thrift stores, is not only money saving but is also environmentally friendly.
    How to Celebrate?
    If your version of a fun day includes sifting through dusty, old things to find treasure, then here are some ways that you can celebrate Thrift Shop Day:
    Visit your local thrift stores and spend some time browsing through their wares. Who knows, you might end up getting home a priceless work of art! Host a thrift shop party. Decorate your venue like a thrift store with things you found at a secondhand shop. Ask your guests to wear clothes from a thrift store and swap items you found in a consignment shop. Did You Know...
    ...that the word thrift comes from the Old Norse þrift meaning prosperity?
     
    ***
     
    After finishing his meal, my grandfather, a retired Marine captain, asked the waitress for the 15 percent discount the restaurant offered veterans.

    "Do you need to see my military ID?" he asked.

    "That's all right," she said. "I know you were in the military. I can tell by your T-shirt."

    Grandpa's shirt read "Welcome to Gettysburg National Military Park."
     
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    Spanish never came easily to my sister. Still, she did her best to communicate with the Spanish-speaking staff at the restaurant she managed. But when she made mistakes—and she made a lot—she'd apologize by saying, "Me estúpido."
    Finally, a staffer took pity on her. "Susanna, you're not estúpido," she said, bucking up my sister's ego.
    "You are a woman," she continued. "So you are estúpida."
     
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    First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the last straw was learning that roadside service couldn't get a locksmith to me for at least two hours. Finally the guy showed, looking exhausted.
    As he struggled with my door, I joked, "Do those Slim Jim tools come in purse-size?"
    "Yeah," he muttered. "They're called keys."
     
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  23. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 35
    August 16th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Bennington Battle Day (Vermont, United States) Children's Day (Paraguay) Christian feast day: Ana Petra Pérez Florido Armel (Armagillus) Diomedes of Tarsus Roch Stephen I of Hungary Translation of the Acheiropoietos icon from Edessa to Constantinople. (Eastern Orthodox Church) August 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Gozan no Okuribi (Kyoto, Japan) National Airborne Day (United States) Restoration Day (Dominican Republic) The first day of the Independence Days, celebrates the independence of Gabon from France in 1960. Xicolatada (Palau-de-Cerdagne, France)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Rollercoaster Day
    Rum Day
    World Bratwurst Day
    Surveillance Day
    Tell A Joke Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Tell a Joke Day
    On August 16, make everyone around you giggle, guffaw, chortle, cackle or in other words, laugh, by telling them a joke because it is Tell A Joke Day.

    While the origins of this hilarious day are unknown, we can all safely assume that the creator of this unofficial holiday was aiming to make the world a happier place by encouraging people to tell and listen to jokes.
    Different Jokes
    A joke can be of different types. They can be verbal, as in the case of a one-liner, a whole story or in the form a question and answer, where the answer provides the humor. Jokes can also be physical such as in the case of a prank or a practical joke, where the act rather than the words provide the humor. Either way, the main purpose of a joke is to entertain by providing humor, even though jokes can sometimes be used to make serious commentary like in the case of satire.
    Jokes have been an integral part of human history and many great minds have spent time and energy in trying to understand what makes jokes funny.
    The day is known in the US as National Tell A Joke Day, and not to be confused with International Joke Day on July, 1.
    How to Celebrate?
    Every time you meet someone on this day, tell them a joke. Just make sure the jokes are appropriate to the setting. Pick up a joke book and spend your lunch hour reading it. Watch your favorite comedians do their thing either on TV or on stage and partake in a few hours of humorous entertainment. Fancy yourself as a comedian?Why not take comedy and Improv classes to hone in your skills? Play a harmless prank on your co-worker or friend. Did You Know…
    …that the study of laughter and humor and their therapeutic effects on the human body is known as Gelotology?
     
    ***
     
    Louie and his wife are listening to the radio when they hear the weather report: "A snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street.” So Louie gets up and moves his car.

    Two days later—same thing. "A snow emergency has been declared,” blares the radio. "Park your cars on the even-numbered side of the street.” Louie gets up and does what he’s told.

    Three days later: "There will be a foot of snow today. Park your cars on the ...,” and then the power goes out.

    "What should I do?” a confused Louie asks his wife.

    "This time,” she says, "why don’t you just leave the car in the garage?”
     
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    Q: What word is always spelled incorrectly?

    A: Incorrectly!
     
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    Heading down the interstate,  our car passed through a huge swarm of gnats so dense that their bodies made popping noises as they hit the windshield. "I can't get over how loud they are," my wife said.
    "Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour," I pointed out.
    Her reply left me speechless. "I didn't know bugs could fly that fast."
     
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    I think the system is broken.
     
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    Face mask & Covid shot, come to mind. A penny for your thoughts.
     
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    R.I.P. Mr. Rogers
     
     
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  24. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 34
    August 15th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Poland) Christian feast day: Altfrid Alypius of Thagaste Feast day of the Assumption of Mary, one of the Catholic holy days of obligation. (a public holiday in Austria, Belgium, Benin, Bosnia, Burundi, Cameroon, Chile, Colombia, Croatia, Cyprus, France, some states in Germany, Greece, Guatemala, Italy, Ivory Coast, Lebanon, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Madagascar, Malta, Mauritius, Paraguay, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Senegal, Seychelles, Slovenia, Spain, Switzerland, Togo, and Vanuatu); and its related observances: Feast of the Dormition of the Theotokos (Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Churches) Ferragosto (Italy) Lady's Day (Ireland) Māras (Latvia) Mother's Day (Antwerp and Costa Rica) National Acadian Day (Acadians) Navy Day (Romania) Virgin of Candelaria, patron of the Canary Islands. (Tenerife, Spain) San La Muerte (Paraguayan Folk Catholicism) Santa Muerte (Mexican Folk Catholicism) Tarcisius August 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Equatorial Guinea) Earliest day on which Children's Day can fall, while August 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Sunday in August. (Argentina and Peru) Earliest day on which Day of Hearts can fall, while August 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in August. (area around Haarlem and Amsterdam) Founding of Asunción (Paraguay) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Korea from Japan in 1945: Gwangbokjeol, "Independence Day" (South Korea) Jogukhaebangui nal, "Fatherland Liberation Day" (North Korea) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of India from the United Kingdom in 1947. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of the Republic of the Congo from France in 1960. National Day (Liechtenstein) National Mourning Day, observed on Srabon 31 (Bangladesh) The first day of Flooding of the Nile, or Wafaa El-Nil (Egypt and Coptic Church) The main day of Bon Festival (Japan), and its related observances: Awa Dance Festival (Tokushima Prefecture) Victory over Japan Day (United Kingdom), and its related observances: End-of-war Memorial Day, when the National Memorial Service for War Dead is held (Japan)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Check The Chip Day
    Acadian Day
    Lemon Meringue Pie Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Relaxation Day
    On August 15, take a day off from your daily routine, put your feet up and relax because it is Relaxation Day.

    The origins of this holiday are unknown, though it is thought that the holiday began as National Slacker Day in Britain.
    In the hustle bustle of their daily lives, most people often forget to slow down and take some time for themselves. This can create stress and other stress-related health issues like high blood pressure and heart problems.
    Take a Deep Breath
    Relaxation Day is a reminder that sometimes it is okay to take a deep breath, slow down and take it easy - not only does relaxation make you feel better about yourself, it can have long-term health benefits too!
    So on this day, do things that help you relax and de-stress. Kick back and enjoy a cold beverage in your backyard, read a book while curled up with a hot cup of tea, sleep the whole day long, or take a warm bath and spend the day in your pajamas watching TV.
    How to Celebrate?
    Relax! Do whatever that you feel relaxes you, even if it is for a short while. Use this day to do a digital detox. Unplug the computer, put away the phone and stay away from all social media. With no work emails to fret over and no social dramas to be bothered with, you will feel the stress melt away. Go to the spa for a day of pampering and some "me" time. Take a leisurely walk in the park. Stop and smell the roses, walk barefoot on the grass, have a small picnic by yourself, or read a book while people-watching. Learn a new skill like knitting or playing golf. Did You Know...
    ...that in physics and chemistry, relaxation is a concept that refers to the movement of a system or a process from a state of disorder or disruption to equilibrium?
     
    ***
     
    Two racehorses are in a stable. One says to the other, “You know, 
before that last race …”   “The one that you won?” asks the other horse.   “Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters.”   The other horse says, “Funny, 
I felt a pinch in my hindquarters 
before the race that I won.”   A dog walking by says, “You 
idiots, you’re being doped. They’re injecting you with a drug to make you faster!”   The first horse turns to the other and says, “Hey, a talking dog!”    
    ***
     
    One caller to Butterball's Thanksgiving Turkey Talk-Line had always cut the legs off the turkey before putting it in the oven, thinking that was how you had to cook a turkey. She later learned that the only reason her mom had been doing that was because their oven had been so small that that was the only way to get the bird into the oven!    
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    "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
     
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  25. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 33
    August 14th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Arnold of Soissons[254] Domingo Ibáñez de Erquicia[255] Eusebius of Rome[256] Jonathan Myrick Daniels (Episcopal Church)[257] Maximilian Kolbe[258] Falklands Day is the celebration of the first sighting of the Falkland Islands by John Davis in 1592.[259]  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Tattoo Removal Day
    Social Security Day
    Garage Sale Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Creamsicle Day
    Sweltering in the summer heat? Need something to refreshing to cool down? Then just walk to your closest ice cream shop and treat yourself to a cold and delicious creamsicle (or two) because it is Creamsicle Day!

    Celebrated annually on August 14, this unofficial holiday with unknown origins honors the creamsicle, a refreshing summertime treat on a stick. The original creamsicles were made of vanilla ice cream covered by iced orange juice. In recent years, creative ice cream makers have replaced the outer orange fruit juice layer with other flavors like blueberry, strawberry, and grape.
    Also Known As...
    Although Creamsicle is a brand name ice cream in the United States, any ice cream covered by a layer of iced fruit juice on a flat wooden stick is popularly called a creamsicle.
    Due to the popularity of the Popsicle, which is a brand of frozen beverages, people sometimes use the word popsicle to refer to the creamsicle. Creamsicles are also sometimes generically called ice pops in the United States and in Canada and ice lolly in the United Kingdom.
    How to Celebrate?
    Treat everyone in your family with creamsicles. Make your own creamsicles and share them with family and friends. Maybe come up with some interesting flavor combinations to try out? Make other creamsicle-inspired treats. What about baking creamsicle cupcakes or making a creamsicle smoothie? Did You Know...
    ...that oranges are thought to have originated in Southeast Asia and brought to America by Christopher Columbus?
     
    ***
     
    I overheard two EMT volunteers talking about the time they went to the aid of an elderly man. As one took down his information, the other opened his shirt to attach EKG cables.

    "Any history of heart trouble?" asked the first volunteer.

    "None," said the patient.

    Looking at the telltale scars of bypass surgery, the second volunteer wasn't so sure. "In that case," he said, "do you remember when the lion attacked you?
     
    ***
     
    It was time for my dog's annual checkup. Following the vet's instructions, I collected a stool sample and dropped it in a plastic container before we left for his office. When we arrived, I handed the sample to the receptionist, who immediately cracked a smile.
    The container read "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
     
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    My neighbor's boat has a peculiar name: Innuendo.
    After failing to divine some deep, hidden meaning, I asked him how he came up with the name.
    He answered, "My wife works for a proctologist."
     
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