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October 5th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) World Space Week (October 4–10) Armed Forces Day (Indonesia) Christian feast day: Anna Schäffer Faustina Kowalska Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos (Roman Catholic Church) Blessed Bartolo Longo Thraseas Hor and Susia (Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria) Placid and Maurus Placidus (martyr) October 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Vanuatu) Engineer's Day (Bolivia) International Day of No Prostitution Republic Day (Portugal) Teachers' Day (Pakistan) Teachers' Day (Russia) World Teachers' Day[19] Observances (click on the day for details) Country Inn Bed & Breakfast Day Balloons Around the World Day Fun Observances Chic Spy Day October 5 is Chic Spy Day, a day to acknowledge that a well-dressed spy is always more successful in catching the bad guys than a scruffy one. The unofficial holiday is a tribute to the elegant and stylish spies in popular culture and was created in 2015 by chicspy.com, a fashion website. It commemorates the anniversary of the day in 1962, when the chicest spy of all – James Bond – made his debut on the big screen in a movie called Dr. No. Starring Sean Connery and Bond, the film was based on a novel of the same name by Ian Fleming. Fashionable and Resourceful The spy genre of movies has frequently featured sophisticated and well-dressed protagonists who are not only equipped with fighting skills that can put a ninja to shame, but are also charming, attractive and immensely likable. All spies - men or women - in movies tend to own state-of-the-art espionage and surveillance equipment. As a genre, spy movies are as old as the film industry. They became especially popular during the Second World War and the Cold War era. Today, spy movies tend to focus on themes such as terrorism and governmental corruption. How to Celebrate? Have a favorite spy? Spend the day watching his or her movies. Watch Dr. No and all of James Bond's movies. Have a spy party. Ask your guests to dress up like their favorite spy; serve shaken, not stirred martinis; and share notes about why you think your favorite spy is the chicest. Did You Know… …that even though Dr. No was the first James Bond film, Casino Royale was the first Bond novel ever published? *** Q. How do you make the number one disappear? A. Add the letter G and then presto—it's Gone! *** Q. There's a one-story house where everything inside is pink: pink walls, pink doors, pink floors, pink ceilings, pink windows, pink curtains, pink chairs, and pink tables. What color are the stairs? A. There are none—it's a one-story house! *** Comedian Daniel Tosh is no fan 
of the expression “The worst day 
of fishing is better than the 
best day at work.” “I’ve watched The Deadliest 
Catch on Discovery,” 
he said. “I’ve never once 
been at work, capsized in 
40-degree water, watched all my coworkers die, and been like, ‘Hey, at least we’re fishin’.’” *** If you stop eating doughnuts you will live three years longer, but it's just three more years that you'll want a doughnut. *** A few weeks? after the death of my father-in-law, I found my seven-year-old son crying in bed. His grandmother had died the previous year, and he was taking it all very hard. "You know, Kyle," I said, "when we die, we'll get to see Grandma and Grandpa again in heaven." With tears spilling down his face, Kyle cried, "That's easy for you to say. You don't have that long!" *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Food for thought. Oh, and keep in mind what I posted on yesterdays' Bread Crumbs: As I said, food for thought.

October 4th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Amun Francis of Assisi Petronius of Bologna October 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Cinnamon Roll Day (Sweden and Finland) Day of Peace and Reconciliation (Mozambique) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Lesotho from the United Kingdom in 1966. The beginning of World Space Week (International) World Animal Day Observances (click on the day for details) Vodka Day World Habitat Day Architecture Day Ship in A Bottle Day Day of Bullying Prevention Improve Your Office Day Fun Observances Taco Day Lettuce taco 'bout Taco Day. It's on October 4 and that gives you the perfect excuse to spend the entire day eating tacos. A traditional Mexican version of the sandwich, a taco is a tortilla stuffed with filling. Usually made of corn or wheat, the tortilla can be filled with beef, chicken, vegetables, pork or seafood and served with cheese, cilantro or onions as garnish. Different Kinds In Mexico, tacos are generally associated with fresh tortillas, while in the United States, one can find many different types of tacos. Some of these include hard shelled tacos, made of deep fried U shaped tortillas; fried tacos, which are made by frying tortillas stuffed with filling; and tacodillas which is made by stuffing cheese between two tortillas and then adding a filling to the top tortilla. How to Celebrate? With tacos, lots and lots of tacos! Start the day with breakfast tacos - eggs, bacon and breakfast sausage wrapped in a tortilla. Have a vegetarian taco with beans, rice, jalapeño peppers and guacamole for lunch and delicious pork, beef or chicken tacos for dinner. Finish the day with dessert tacos - tacos filled with ice cream, fruit or cream and topped with chocolate or fruit sauce. Experiment with the flavors of the taco filling. What about making some Korean-inspired tacos by adding some kimchi or an Indian version of the taco with some curried chicken? Did You Know… …that in 18th century Mexico, tacos referred to pieces of paper that Mexican miners wrapped around gunpowder to make holes in mines? *** Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A: One has claws at the end of its paws, while the other is a pause at the end of a clause. *** The military may have invented the Internet, but not all government schemes have worked as well. In 
the ’60s, the CIA hatched a plan to implant a battery and a microphone in a cat so the furry feline could 
spy on unsuspecting targets. The program was halted when, after years of research and millions of 
dollars spent, the spy cat was run over by a cab. *** A woman walked into my aunt's animal shelter wanting to have her cat and six kittens spayed and neutered. "Is the mother friendly?" my aunt asked. "Very," said the woman, casting an eye on all the pet carriers. "That's how we got into this mess in the first place." *** *** *** (?!?!?!?!?!) *** Home schooling, and you thought you had it bad!!! *** Not today, Mr. Snake *** *** (This one I really like) *** *** ( " Uh oh!" ) *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

October 3rd - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Abd-al-Masih Adalgott Blessed Szilárd Bogdánffy Dionysius the Areopagite Ewald the Black and Ewald the Fair Francis Borgia George Bell and John Raleigh Mott (Episcopal Church) Gerard of Brogne Hesychius of Sinai Théodore Guérin Maximian of Bagai October 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) 3 October Festival (Leiden, The Netherlands) German Unity Day (Germany) Mean Girls Day Morazán Day (Honduras) National Day, celebrates the independence of Iraq from the United Kingdom in 1932. National Foundation Day or Gaecheonjeol (South Korea) Observances (click on the day for details) Techies Day Boyfriend’s Day Change A Light Day Virus Appreciation Day *** A Harley rider eating in a restaurant is checking out a gorgeous redhead. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket. The biker reaches up, snatches it out of the air, and hands it back to her. "I am so embarrassed," the woman says. "Please join me for dinner." They enjoy a wonderful meal together and afterwards she invites him to the theater, followed by drinks. She pays for everything. Then she asks him to her place for a nightcap, and to stay for breakfast. The next morning the guy is amazed. "Are you this nice to every biker you meet?" he asks. "Not usually," she replies. "But you just happened to catch my eye." *** A friend of mine works at a tattoo shop. A client walked in and got a sentence tattooed on his back. A few hours later, the customer called, 
demanding a refund. Client: You did my tattoo backward! Tattoo artist: It’s backward? Client: Yes! I’m looking at it in the mirror right now! *** “Why did you choose a college so far from home?” I asked my British student. She explained that she’d fallen 
in love with the American West by watching Westerns. So when it came time to apply for colleges, she Googled “Western universities.” And that’s how she ended up here, at Western Carolina University. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

October 2nd - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Batik Day (Indonesia)[236] Christian feast day: Denha I of Tikrit (Syriac Orthodox Church)[237] Memorial of the Holy Guardian Angels[238] Leodegar[239] October 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Gandhi's birthday-related observances: Gandhi Jayanti (India)[17] International Day of Non-Violence[102] Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Guinea from France in 1958[17] National Grandparents Day (Italy)[240] Observances (click on the day for details) Name Your Car Day World Farm Animals Day Custodial Worker Day Bubblegum Day Card Making Day Fun Observances Phileas Fogg Wager Day October 2 is Phileas Fogg Wager Day. The holiday celebrates key events in Jules Verne’s novel Around the World in Eighty Days. In the book, Phileas Fogg, the main character of the 1873 novel makes a wager of 20,000 pounds to circumnavigate the Earth in 80 days on October 2, 1872. This unofficial holiday celebrates the wager that set out one of the world's most famous adventure in motion. Fiction with Real Places Around the World in Eighty Days is a book that covers some of the biggest changes in the world of transportation and travel that were happening in the late 19th century. Some of these included the construction of the Suez Canal, the starting of the Indian Railways and the transcontinental railroad in the United States. The novel also follows the adventures Fogg has while circumnavigating the world. The book was first published as a series in French. According to an introduction by William Butcher who translated the book to English, the closing date of the series, December 21, 1872 coincided with the last day of the wager. this made many people reading the series believe that the journey was actually taking place in real time How to Celebrate? Read the novel and find out if Phileas Fogg wins the wager. Read the other works of Jules Verne including Journey to the Center of the Earth and Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. Watch movie and TV adaptations of the book. Did You Know… …that Jules Verne is one of the world’s most translated authors? *** I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent. On the windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver. "I feel terrible," the woman apologized when I called. "I hit your car as I was pulling into the next parking spot." "Please, don't worry," I said to her. "I'm sure our insurance companies will take care of everything." "Thank you for your understanding," she said. "You're so much nicer than the man I hit on the way out." *** We purchased an old home in northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching, and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter." *** Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right—the driver's side. This happened to me one day while driving home in the middle of a blinding storm. Unable to see, I pulled over and tried to figure out a quick fix. I found it in a yellow cotton work glove that was lying on the floor. I wedged the cloth hand under the wiper arm. It did a great job keeping my windshield clear. Not only that— you'd be surprised at how many people waved back. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleep well, my friends

October 1st - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Armed Forces Day (South Korea) Beginning of the United States' Fiscal Year Children's Day (El Salvador, Guatemala, Sri Lanka); celebrated on the first Friday of October (Singapore), assignation and recognition on the first Wednesday of October (Chile) Christian feast day: Abai (Syriac Orthodox Church) Bavo of Ghent Blessed Edward James Nicetius (Roman Catholic Church) Remigius Thérèse of Lisieux Protection/Patronage of the Theotokos (Eastern Catholic Churches) October 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Prosecutors (Azerbaijan) Earliest day on which Teacher's Day can fall, while October 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday of October. (Belarus, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Ukraine) Earliest day on which World Habitat Day can fall, while October 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Monday of October. (International) Ground Forces Day (Russia) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Cyprus from United Kingdom in 1960. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Nigeria from United Kingdom in 1960. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Palau from the UN Trust Territory status in 1994. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Tuvalu from United Kingdom in 1978. International Day of Coffee International Day of Older Persons[39] Lincolnshire Day (United Kingdom)[40] National Day of the People's Republic of China (People's Republic of China) Pancasila Sanctity Day (Indonesia) Tampere Day (Finland)[41] Teacher's Day (Uzbekistan) Unification Day (Cameroon) Observances (click on the day for details) World Smile Day Kids Music Day CD Player Day World Vegetarian Day Observances (click on the month for details) Dysautonomia Awareness Month Domestic Violence Awareness Month SUDEP Action Month Canadian Library Month Fire Prevention Month Cyber Security Awareness Month Mental Health Month Black Cat Awareness Month Family History Month Dyslexia Awareness Month Computer Learning Month Breast Cancer Awareness Month Fair Trade Month Emotional Intelligence Awareness Month ADHD Awareness Month Pizza Month Down syndrome awareness month Fun Observances Balloons Around the World Day Balloons Around The World is a made-up holiday that aims to spread cheer around the world. It is celebrated annually on October 1. The unofficial holiday was created by Jeff Brown in 2000. The holiday encourages people to use balloons and the art of balloon twisting and decorating to bring smiles to the faces of those around them. Animal Bladders Balloons are bags, usually colorful and made of rubber or latex that can be filled with air or gases like Helium. Early balloons were made of animal bladders. While balloons are frequently used for decorative purposes, they can also be used for transportation, to gather atmospheric information, and by doctors to open up clogged arteries. How to Celebrate? Have a party and use balloons for decoration. Learn how to make balloon animals and objects. If you already know how to make balloon objects, make some and give out to random people on the street and see them smile. What about taking that special one on a hot air balloon ride? Did You Know… …that rubber balloons were invented by scientist Michael Faraday in 1824? *** “What are you doing?” asked my mother after I pressed several 
buttons on her microwave. “Reheating these leftovers for two minutes at 80 percent.” “I didn’t know you could do that.” “Sure. How do you reheat bacon?” “Oh,” she said, “that’s two biscuits and a popcorn.” *** My friend forgot his laptop on the floor of my room. My grandma thought it was a scale. 
Conclusion: My grandma weighs $950. *** Take heed, scientists: Not every scientific advancement is Nobel Prize worthy. Some must lay claim to an Ig Nobel Prize, awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research magazine: The Prize for Physiology went to the report "No Evidence of Contagious Yawning in the Red-Footed Tortoise." The Prize for Medicine went to a study that demonstrates that people make better decisions about some kinds of things — but worse decisions about other kinds of things — when they have a strong urge to urinate. The Prize for Biology went to the discovery that a particular kind of beetle mates with a particular kind of Australian beer bottle. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Finally something new I learned on the net today!!!!!!!!!!!! sandrewn

September 30th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Agricultural Reform (Nationalization) Day (São Tomé and Príncipe) Birth of Morelos (Mexico) Boy's Day (Poland) Christian feast day: Gregory the Illuminator Honorius of Canterbury Jerome September 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day (Botswana) or Botswana Day, celebrates the independence of Botswana from United Kingdom in 1966. International Translation Day (International Federation of Translators)[16] National Day for Truth and Reconciliation or Orange Shirt Day (Canada)[17][18] Observances (click on the day or week for details) Ask A Stupid Question Day International Podcast Day Thunderbirds Day Rumi Day Extra Virgin Olive Oil Day Mud Pack Day Fun Observances Hot Mulled Cider Day If you are in the Northern Hemisphere chances are that by the time the end of September rolls by, the days are getting shorter and colder. Warm the days up by drinking Hot Mulled Cider on September 30. Hot Mulled Cider Day is a made up holiday that celebrates the beverage made out of warm apple cider mixed with brown sugar and spices such as cinnamon, nutmeg, mace and cloves. How to Celebrate? Make a batch of hot mulled cider and share it with family and friends. Add some alcohol to the cider to make an adult beverage. Did You Know… …that technically cider is an alcoholic beverage made out of fermented apple juice? In many parts of the world, however, cider usually refers to non alcoholic fermented apple juice, while hard cider refers to the alcoholic version of the juice. *** After leaving the Army, I applied for a hunting permit but was told I would first need to take a hunter’s safety course. “I’m a veteran, trained in handling firearms,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I get a waiver?” The clerk replied, “Because we teach you not to shoot people.” *** I just got a GPS for my car, and my first trip with it was to a drugstore. Since the manual said not to leave it in the car unattended, I brought it with me into the store. While there, the GPS came alive, and a voice stated, "Lost satellite contact." I wasn't embarrassed until a woman turned to me and said, "Your ankle bracelet monitor is talking to you." *** A wealthy New Yorker, "dressed in the Abercrombie & Fitch version of What a Man Should Wear in the Wilderness," walks up to a laconic Maine lobsterman. "I see you are using fish bait for lobsters. You think it's good, do you?" he asks. The lobsterman shakes his head. "No, I don't. But the lobsters do." *** Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet-who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, I asked if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown." *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 29th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Rhipsime September 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) the Archangels Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. One of the four quarter days in the Irish calendar. (England and Ireland). Called Michaelmas in some western liturgical traditions Inventors' Day (Argentina) Victory of Boquerón Day (Paraguay) World Heart Day Observances (click on the day or week for details) Biscotti Day *** My wife is a very adventurous cook. “How does this sound?” she called out from the kitchen. “Bonito, surimi, and anchovies in a decadent, silky broth.” “Sounds delicious,” I hollered back. “Is that what we’re having tonight?” “No. I’m reading from this packet of cat food.” *** On a trip to Sweden, I asked a few people where I could find some good local cuisine. “This is a pretty cosmopolitan city, so you can find just about any kind of international food that you’d like,” said one man. “But if you want truly local cuisine, get the meatballs at IKEA.” *** Working as a telemarketer for MCI Communications, I made a call to a Minnesota home one evening. When a boy around eight answered the phone, I identified myself, told him I was calling for MCI and asked to speak to his parents. As he put the phone down, I heard him yell, "Dad! Dad! The FBI wants to talk to you!" As soon as the father answered the phone in a quivering voice, I said, "Sir, this is not the FBI; this is MCI Communications." After a long pause, the man said, "This is the first time I am actually glad to hear from you guys." *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** August 15, 2016 *** sandrewn

September 28th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Aaron of Auxerre Annemund Conval Eustochium Exuperius Faustus of Riez John of Dukla Leoba Lorenzo Ruiz Paternus of Auch Richard Rolle, Walter Hilton and Margery Kempe (Episcopal Church (USA)) Simón de Rojas Wenceslas September 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Czech Statehood Day (Czech Republic) Freedom from Hunger Day International Day for Universal Access to Information[22] National Day of Awareness and Unity against Child Pornography (Philippines) Teachers' Day (Taiwan and Chinese-Filipino schools in the Philippines), ceremonies dedicated to Confucius are also observed. World Rabies Day (International) Observances (click on the day or week for details) Drink Beer Day International Poke Day Strawberry Cream Pie Day Fun Observances (2) Ask a Stupid Question Day September 28 is Ask a Stupid Question Day, a day that is devoted to all stupid and silly questions out there. Originally an unofficial American holiday, the date coincides with the last day of school in September. The day encourages students to ask more questions in classrooms. How to Celebrate? They say that there are no stupid questions. So, don't hesitate, ask stupid questions and if someone asks you a stupid question, have a stupid answer ready. Did You Know… …that the question mark (?) originated as a contraction of the Latin word quaestiō , meaning question? According to this theory, people in the Middle Ages, contracted the q and o by putting the o under the q. Over time, the q and the o turned into the question mark (?) we know today. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Good Neighbor Day Neighbors are an integral part of our social lives – whether at home or at work. Good Neighbor Day on September 28 is an annual holiday that promotes neighborliness and niceness towards people who surround us. The holiday was created by Becky Mattson of Arizona in the 1970s as a way to encourage neighbors to be good to each other. In 1978, then American President, Jimmy Carter issued a proclamation that designated September 24, 1978 as National Good Neighbor Day. In 2004, the United States Senate passed a resolution to celebrate September 26, 2004 as National Good Neighbor Day. Prior to 2003, the holiday was celebrated on the fourth Sunday in September. Now it is unofficially celebrated in the U.S. and around the world as Good Neighbor Day. How to Celebrate? Be nice to your neighbor – at home or elsewhere. If you don’t know your neighbors well, maybe today is your chance to go up to them and strike up a conversation. Bake some goodies and share them with your neighbors. Bring them to work for your work neighbors. Invite your neighbors to your home for a meal. Don’t live in the U.S.? Don’t let that stop you from showing your appreciation for your neighbors. Did You Know… …that the word neighbor comes from the Old English word neahgebur, where neah means near and gebur means inhabitant? *** I recently learned a valuable lesson regarding what not to say to patients. At our large hospital, I watched as a nursing assistant pushed an elderly woman in a wheelchair. As he opened the door leading from the clinic into the hospital wing, the patient looked confused. “Where are we?” she asked. The nursing assistant gently explained, “We’ve gone over to the other side.” *** My sister got a call from her son’s kindergarten teacher. When he’d gone in to check on Little James in the bathroom, he noticed the boy was using a urinal. “That’s odd,” my sister said. “We never taught him how to use a urinal.” “I could tell,” said the teacher. “He was sitting in it.” *** When a neighbor's home was burglarized, I decided to be more safety conscious. But my measly front-door lock wasn’t going to stop anyone, so I hung this sign outside: "Nancy, don’t come in. The snake is loose. Mom." *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 27th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast days: Adheritus[32] Caius of Milan[33] Vincent de Paul[26] Cosmas and Damian September 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Consumación de la Independencia (Mexico) French Community Holiday (French community of Belgium) Independence Day (Turkmenistan), celebrates the independence of Turkmenistan from USSR in 1991. Meskel (Ethiopian and Eritrean Orthodox Church, following Julian calendar, September 28 on leap years) National Gay Men's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (United States)[34] Polish Underground State's Day (Poland)[35] World Tourism Day (International)[36] Observances (click on the day or week for details) Family Day Corned Beef Hash Day Morning Show Hosts Day Ancestor Appreciation Day Fun Observances Crush a Can Day Take out all your frustrations and anger and be green and environmentally friendly at the same time by crushing a can to celebrate Crush A Can Day on September 27. There are few things in life as satisfying as feeling a can squish and bend between your fingers, and this unofficial holiday is the perfect excuse to crush as many cans you can find. And it is environmentally friendly too! Take all your crushed cans to the recycling center to be recycled and given a new life. Cans are containers usually used to store and transport goods and perishable food and beverages. In most grocery markets, you can find two types of food cans – tin cans and aluminum cans. In many parts of the world all cans irrespective of what they are made of are called tin cans. It is not known who created this holiday. How to Celebrate? Start collecting cans in anticipation of this day. On the day of, host a can crushing party. Use cans to decorate your venue and serve food and beverages – just make sure they have been cleaned out thoroughly and are not rusted. Then gather around in your backyard with friends and family and get crushing. Line up those cans and go crazy on them. Hold a can crushing contest – whoever crushes the most cans gets to take all of them to the recycling center! Be very careful when you crush cans. If you are unable to crush them leave them at your closest recycling center – let the experts deal with it. Did You Know… …that recycling one tin can save enough energy to run a television for 3 hours? *** Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania, 
recount some funny stories about his time in office. One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a 
woman’s drink. She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had 
bought her a beer. “I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.” “You got it,” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.” *** My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father. Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled. “Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’” *** I was visiting my mother one day, when she passed the candy dish full of chocolates and took one for herself. “I thought your doctor told you to stop eating candy,” I said. “Oh, I don’t have to listen to him anymore,” she replied. “Why not?” “He died.” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 26th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast days: Canadian Martyrs (Catholic Church in Canada) Cosmas and Damian John of Meda Nilus the Younger Wilson Carlile (Anglican) September 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the National Flag (Ecuador) Dominion Day (New Zealand) European Day of Languages (European Union) National Good Neighbor Day (United States) Revolution Day (Yemen) Observances (click on the day or week for details) Rivers Day Lumberjack Day Human Resource Professional Day Johnny Appleseed Day Fun Observances Love Note Day September 26 is Love Note Day, an unofficial holiday that encourages you to write and send notes full of love to the special person in your life. A Forgotten Art Almost as old as the first written language, the love note has historically been one of the most romantic ways to tell that special person how you feel about them. However, with the fast pace of our modern day lives, the art of writing love notes and exchanging them with one's sweetheart is slowly dying. Love Note Day aims to change this. Conveys Many Emotions A love letter or note is a way to pen down one's deepest feeling about another person. It does not have to romantic or sappy. It can convey a vast selection of emotions, from adoration to anger, from joy to sadness, and from admiration to disappointment. How to Celebrate? Walk away from your computer screen, bring out the scented paper, the fanciest pen you have, and find yourself an inspiring place to sit and get cracking on that love note! Give it to your sweetheart, perhaps during a nice meal or while on a walk in the park. If you don't have time to handwrite your love note, maybe you could send your love a nice email that says how much you love and appreciate them? Leave some love notes around your home for your loved one to find. Hide them in their lunch or their gym bag, stick the note to the bathroom mirror, so that's the first thing they see in the morning, or quietly slip it into their pockets before they leave home. Don't have a special someone? Who says a love note can be only for a romantic partner? Send a note to a friend or a family member to tell them how much you love them! Read love notes and letters written by famous people - maybe they will inspire you to write one of your own. Did You Know... ...the oldest surviving Valentine's Day love letter in the English language dates back to 1477? Called the Valentine's Day Love Letter, the note was written by Margery Brews to her fiancé John Pasto. *** During a visit with my grandmother, my husband noticed a birthday card from a local funeral parlor. “That was nice of them,” he said. She was unimpressed. “They only want me for my body,” *** Colonoscopies are important medical procedures that have saved lives. And yet they’re as popular 
as, well, a colonoscopy. Here are 
comments purportedly made by 
patients to physicians during their procedures. “Now I know how a Muppet feels!” “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?” “Any sign of the trapped miners, chief?” *** We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that 
fact. Anytime someone asked what his father did, he’d say, “He’s in the Army.” I told him umpteen times, “Stop telling people I’m in the Army!” It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form 
for kindergarten, under “father’s 
profession,” the teacher wrote, “He doesn’t know what his father does, but he’s not in the Army.” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 25th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Armed Forces Day or Revolution Day (Mozambique) Christian feast day: Abadir and Iraja and Companions (Coptic Church) Aunarius (Aunacharius) Anathalon (Archdiocese of Milan) Cadoc Ceolfrith Cleopas Euphrosyne of Alexandria Finbarr Fermin of Amiens Lancelot Andrewes (Church of England) Sergius of Radonezh (repose) Vincent Strambi September 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of National Recognition for the Harkis (France) National Research Administrators Day (United States)[13] National Youth Day (Nauru) Observances (click on the day or week for details) World Dream Day German Butterbrot Day Better Breakfast Day Binge Day Save Your Photos Day Cooking Day Psychotherapy Day World Pharmacists Day Rabbit Day One-Hit Wonder Day Fun Observances Comic Book Day September 25 is Comic Book Day. The holiday celebrates the art and science behind comic books and encourages people to read and share comic books. A comic book is a book that tells stories through pictures or illustrations and text. The story is usually divided into sequential panels and dialogs and thoughts of the characters are presented in a stylized graphic called a speech bubble or balloon. From Strip to Book While stand-alone and series comic strips have been around for a very long time – the earliest recorded comics can be traced back to 113 AD on Trajan’s Column located in Rome – historians believe that the first comic book ever published was in 1837 in Europe. Called The Adventures of Mr. Obadiah Oldbuck, the book was written by Swiss writer, Rudolphe Töpffer. Superheros By the 1930s comic books had become a big business in the United States. Known as the Golden Era of comics, the late 1930s and 1940s saw a surge in the genre of superhero comics starting with the publication of Superman in Action Comics #1 in 1938. This period saw the debut of other comic book heros that we are all very familiar with today. Some examples include: Wonder Woman, Batman and Captain America. During and after World War II, the popularity of superhero comics took a hit. It was only in 1956 when a more modern version of Flash made his debut that the Silver Age of Comics was ushered in. The 1970s and 1980s are known as the Bronze Age of Comics. Comics became darker and plot lines included real world problems like corruption, environmental disasters and alcoholism. This trend has continued in recent years. Comic historians also sometimes call it the Dark Age of Comic Books. How to Celebrate? Have a favorite comic book character party where guests come dressed as their favorite comic book character. Visit your local comic book store and pick out a new comic book to read. Lend your favorite comic books to your friends so they can also get interested in reading them. Did You Know… …that the Incredible Hulk, a comic book character known for growing in size and becomes more powerful when he is angry, was originally drawn as a gray by its creator Stan Lee? However, because of printing issues, Marvel, the publisher of the comic decided to change him to green. *** We disbar lawyers and we defrock clergy, so why don't we: Delight electricians? Derange cowboys? Depose models? Debark tree surgeons? Depress dry cleaners? *** ‘Where is everybody?" the cowpoke asks. "They've all gone to see Brown Paper Pete hang," says a bystander. "Why do they call him that?" the cowboy asks. "Well, he always wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper shirt, and brown paper trousers." "Really?" says the cowboy. "And what are they hanging him for?" "Rustling." *** The gladiator was having a rough day in the arena—his opponent had sliced off both of his arms. Nevertheless, he kept on fighting, kicking and biting as furiously as he could. But when his opponent lopped off both feet, our gladiator had no choice but to give up, for now he was both unarmed and defeated. *** *** *** Snowman's Funeral *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 24th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Armed Forces Day (Peru) Christian feast day: Anathalon (in Brescia) Antonio Gonzalez Blessed Émilie Gamelin[16] (Canada) Gerard of Csanád Our Lady of Mercy and its related observance: La Mercè (Barcelona) Our Lady of Ransom (Mercedarians) Our Lady of Walsingham (Church of England) Pacificus of San Severino Rupert of Salzburg September 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Constitution Day (Cambodia) Earliest day on which Maple Leaf Day can fall, while September 30 is the latest; celebrated on the last Wednesday in September. (Canada) Heritage Day (South Africa). Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Guinea-Bissau from Portugal in 1973. Mahidol Day (Thailand) New Caledonia Day (New Caledonia) Republic Day (Trinidad and Tobago) Observances (click on the day or week for details) Hug a Vegetarian Day Lash Stylists’ Day Love Note Day Cherries Jubilee Day Fun Observances Punctuation Day Do you find yourself correcting punctuation while reading a restaurant menu? Do you see red anytime you see an incorrect usage of the apostrophe? Then, Punctuation Day on September 24 is your kind of holiday. Punctuation Day is the brainchild of the American professional speaker Jeff Rubin who launched it in 2004, and is also known as National Punctuation Day in the United States. The unofficial holiday aims to spread awareness and educate people on proper punctuation and the virtues of using the appropriate punctuation in any kind of writing. Punctuation Conveys Meaning Punctuation is the use of typographical signs, spaces and other mutually agreed upon symbols in a language that help the understanding of written text. The main purpose of punctuation is to convey the correct meaning and intent of the text. Every language has its own punctuation rules and symbols - what conveys one message in one language can convey another in a different language. For instance, in Greek, the semicolon (;) is used to indicate a question, while in English, it is used to connect two sentences that are close in meaning; or to separate elements in a series, where the series has a comma; and to connect two related sentences. How to Celebrate? Learn more about punctuation and the appropriate ways of using them. If you do any type of writing in your job, spend some time going through your work and make sure your writing has all the appropriate punctuation. Did You Know… …that the hashtag or pound sign (#) is also formally known as the octothorpe? *** One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?” “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.” *** We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.” With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!” Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip. *** At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. If you think you qualify, raise your hand.” Everyone raises their hands except a middle-aged man who seems to show little interest. “Congratulations! You are the winner,” says the emcee to the man. “Your prize is this $100 bill!” Still showing no emotion, the man replies, “Would you mind coming over here and putting it in my pocket?” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** (Forrest Gump would of said " Buttocks") *** sandrewn

September 23rd - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Adomnán Cissa of Crowland (or of Northumbria) Padre Pio Pope Linus Sossius Thecla (Roman Catholic Church) Xanthippe and Polyxena September 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Grito de Lares (Puerto Rico) Holocaust Memorial Day (Lithuania) Kyrgyz Language Day (Kyrgyzstan) National Day (Saudi Arabia) Teachers' Day (Brunei) Celebrate Bisexuality Day (bisexual community)[27] International Day of Sign Languages[28] Observances (click on the day or week for details) Restless Legs Awareness Day Za’atar Day Education Technology Day Remember Me Thursday Celebrate Bisexuality Day Checkers Day Fun Observances Checkers Day September 23 is Checkers Day. The unofficial holiday is not about the board game but has a political origin. The holiday commemorates a speech given by American President Richard Nixon on this day in 1952 as a Vice Presidential candidate. In the now-famous speech, Nixon denied taking political gifts. It is popularly called the Checkers Speech or the Fund Speech because during the address he announced his intention of keeping Checkers, a dog given to his kids as a gift. In addition to helping boost Nixon's political position in the upcoming presidential elections, the 30 minute long Checkers speech marked the beginning of the involvement of the television in American politics. The address was aired live all around the country and was watched by an estimated 60 million people. The holiday is also sometimes known as National Dogs in Politics Day. How to Celebrate? Wear checkered clothing. Even though the holiday itself doesn't have anything to do with the game, no one will judge you if you decided to observe it by playing a game or two of checkers. Read more about Nixon’s life and his Checkers Speech. If you have children and young adults in your life, Checker's Day is a good day to introduce them to American politics and the role of television in politics around the world. Did You Know… …that Richard Nixon was the only president in the history of the United States to have resigned from office? *** Q: What happens if you play a county song backwards? A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison. *** True Stories From Comic History 1940s "Once in Virginia," said a speaker who had received an introduction that promised more than he felt he could deliver, "I passed a small church displaying a large sign. It read 'Annual Strawberry Festival' and, below in small letters, 'On account of the Depression, prunes will be served.'" --Boston Transcript 1950s The best advice I ever received came to me from my ensign when I was a Wave at boot camp. She told me, "To stay out of trouble, say 'Yes, sir' all day and 'No, sir' all night." --Anonymous 1960s A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. "Maybe it's our long hair," I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride. --Raymond Butkus 1970s A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women's lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, "Adam was a rough draft," proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: "Eve was no prime rib." --Phyllis Reely 1980s While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl's hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. "What do you think?" he asked his girlfriend. "Take them off!" she howled. "They make you look ridiculous."--Audrey Kelly 1990s My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked. The fellow smiled and said, "No cheese for you." --Christine Probasco 2000s I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds." "Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet." *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 22nd - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) American Business Women's Day (United States) Christian feast days: Candidus Digna and Emerita Emmeram of Regensburg Felix and Constantia Ignatius of Santhià (Lorenzo Maurizio Belvisotti) Laud of Coutances Maurice (Western Christianity) Paul Chong Hasang (one of The Korean Martyrs) Phocas (the Gardener, or of Sinope) Phocas, Bishop of Sinope Sadalberga Saintin (Sanctinus) de Meaux Septimius of Iesi (this date since 1623) Theban Legion Thomas of Villanova Philander Chase (Episcopal Church) September 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest date for the autumnal equinox in the Northern Hemisphere and the vernal equinox in the Southern Hemisphere: Autumnal Equinox Day (Japan) Mabon in the Northern Hemisphere, Ostara in the Southern Hemisphere. (Neopagan Wheel of the Year) The first day of Miķeļi (Latvia) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Bulgaria from the Ottoman Empire in 1908. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Mali from France in 1960. Resistance Fighting Day (Estonia) Observances (click on the day or week for details) World Car Free Day Doodle Day White Chocolate Day Ice Cream Cone Day Elephant Appreciation Day World Rhino Day Chainmail Day Fun Observances Hobbit Day Fans of JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings (LOTR) and the Hobbit epic celebrate September 22 as Hobbit Day. The week containing Hobbit Day is also celebrated as Tolkien Week. oo Hobbit Day and Tolkien Week first began in 1978 by the proclamation of the American Tolkien Society, an organization whose goal is to further the study and spread the appreciation of the works of JRR Tolkien and his son, Christopher JR Tolkien. Hobbit Birthday September 22 is designated as Hobbit Day because it is the birthdate of two of JRR Tolkien's main characters - Bilbo Baggins and Frodo Baggins. Bilbo Baggins, the protagonist of Tolkien’s hugely popular 1937 children's novel, The Hobbit, was born on September 22, Third Age 2890. Frodo Baggins, the central character in the LOTR trilogy, on the other hand, is 78 years younger than Bilbo, having been born in the Third Age year of 2968. There is some debate whether Hobbit Day is on September 22 or September 12, as the LOTR and Hobbit calendar does not synchronize with the Gregorian Calendar. How to Celebrate? Host parties and feasts like the ones held in the books. Don’t wear shoes on this day because the hobbits in the books are always barefooted. Attend marathon viewing sessions of the movie version of the books and participate in Hobbit and LOTR quizzes. If you have young adults in your life, encourage them to read Tolkien’s work. Did You Know… …that the Fellowship of the Rings, the first book in the Lord of the Rings series, opens with Bilbo Baggins announcing his eleventy-first birthday? *** My wife likes to keep the mystery in our relationship. For example, I never know what is going to arrive for her from Amazon today. *** {On the phone with my mom} Me: What’s your secret to 55 years of marriage? Mom: We never hated each other on the same day. *** My husband surprised me with a night out to celebrate the anniversary of our first date. I was reminded of the man I fell in love with. We arrived at the theater and learned the movie was playing at a different location a full hour earlier. I was reminded of the man I married. *** The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for steak to cook. —Julia Child *** I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 21st - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Autumnal equinox observances in the Northern Hemisphere, vernal equinox observances in the Southern Hemisphere (see September 22😞 Spring Day (Argentina) Christian feast day: Ephigenia of Ethiopia Laurent-Joseph-Marius Imbert (one of the Korean Martyrs) Matthew the Evangelist (Western Church) Nativity of the Theotokos (Eastern Orthodox Church, Julian calendar) September 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Arbor Day (Brazil) Commemoration of the Declaration of Martial Law (Philippines) Customs Service Day (Poland) Founder's Day and National Volunteer Day (Ghana) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Armenia from the Soviet Union in 1991. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Belize from the United Kingdom in 1981. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Malta from the United Kingdom in 1964. International Day of Peace (International)[18] Student's Day (Bolivia) Victory over the Golden Horde in the Battle of Kulikovo (Russia) Observances (click on the day or week for details) World Alzheimer’s Day Escapology Day World Gratitude Day Get Ready Day Pecan Cookie Day Fun Observances Miniature Golf Day On September 21 head on over to your local miniature golf course with your family and friends for a day of fun and adventure, because it is Miniature Golf Day! An offshoot of golf, miniature golf is a leisure sport that focuses on putting and includes artificial turf and obstacles. It is believed that miniature golf was first invented, sans their characteristic obstacles and windmills, in Scotland in the late 19th century as a way to allow women to golf. Because it was unseemly for women to use a full sized golf club, the Ladies' Putting Club of St. Andrews decided to miniaturize the sport. "This'll Do" Miniature golf or put put as it is also sometimes called made its commercial debut in the early 20th century in North Carolina under the name of Thistle Dhu. The name was derived from the Scottish pronunciation of the words "this'll do". The holiday is also sometimes celebrated on the second Saturday of May. How to Celebrate? Round up your family and friends and visit your local miniature golf course and play a few rounds of golf. What about having a miniature golf course crawl? Instead of spending the whole day at one course, visit as many miniature golf courses in your area and play a round at each one of them Install a miniature golf course in your backyard. Then, you'll be able to celebrate this fun holiday all year long! Did You Know… …that miniature golf is sometimes also known as crazy golf? *** Q. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. *** Every morning I think I’m going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling. *** Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens didn't exist yet! *** Q: How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? A: You use a pumpkin patch! *** Q: Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? A: The Dead Sea! *** As I was treating my daughter and her family to the buffet at a casino, all the bells and whistles for a winning slot machine began to go off. My seven-year-old grandson was awed. "Wow!" yelled Casey. "This is like Chuck E. Cheese for old people." *** *** While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turnaround, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grumpy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 20th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Agapitus (Western Christianity) Eustace (Western Christianity) Evilasius Fausta of Cyzicus Glycerius of Milan Jean-Charles Cornay (one of Vietnamese Martyrs) John Coleridge Patteson (commemoration, Anglicanism) José Maria de Yermo y Parres Korean Martyrs, including Andrew Kim Taegon and Laurent-Marie-Joseph Imbert Theodore, Philippa and companions Vincent Madelgarius (Maelceadar) September 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Nepal) Independence Day of South Ossetia (not fully recognized) National Youth Day (Thailand) Oil Workers' Day (Azerbaijan) Universal Children's Day (Germany) Observances (click on the day or week for details) Pepperoni Pizza Day International Day of Peace International Week of Happiness at Work (Mon Sep 20th, 2021 - Fri Sep 24th, 2021) Fun Observances Punch Day September 20 is Punch Day. Celebrate this unofficial holiday of unknown origins by drinking a tall glass of this delicious party beverage. Typically made by mixing a variety of fruit juices, a punch can be alcoholic or non-alcoholic. Food historians believe that the beverage originated in India - its name comes from the Hindi word paanch meaning five. It is thought that the original punch in India included five ingredients. From India In the 17th century, the drink made its way to England via those who worked for the British East India Company and then spread all over Europe, soon becoming a popular drink served at parties and family gatherings. While no longer a popular drink, punch is still served occasionally at college parties and large events. Punch is served in a large bowl called a punch bowl. In 17th and 18th century Europe, punch bowls were a common household item. Many bowls came with ornate stands and were passed down as heirlooms. How to Celebrate? Make your favorite punch and share it with family and friends. Experiment with flavors of your punch - try new combinations of alcoholic and non-alcoholic additions to the beverage. Did You Know... ...that a similar sounding drink, punsch, is a traditional liqueur in Sweden? Unlike punch, which is a mixture of multiple fruit juices and alcoholic beverages, punsch is made from arak - the fermented sap of coco palm or rice. Arak was brought to Sweden by the Swedish East India Company through Indonesia. Like punch, the name punsch also comes from the Hindi word paanch meaning five. *** After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for $150. If 
I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.” *** E-mail Addresses It Would Be Annoying To Give Out Loud MikeUnderscore2004@yahoo.com MikeAtYahooDotCom@hotmail.com Mike_WardAllOneWord@yahoo.com AAAAAAThatsSixAs@yahoo.com 1OneTheFirstJustTheNumberTheSecondSpelledOut@hotmail.com *** These words are so joining our vocabulary in 2016! Chairdrobe (n.): piling clothes on 
a chair in place of a closet or dresser. Epiphanot (n.): an idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect. Internest (n.): the cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself while spending long periods of time on the Internet. Textpectation (n.): the anticipation felt when waiting for a response to 
a text. Unkeyboardinated (adj.): when you’re unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 19th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Alonso de Orozco Mena Emilie de Rodat Goeric of Metz Januarius (Western Christianity) Feast of San Gennaro Our Lady of La Salette Theodore of Tarsus (Anglican Communion, Roman Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodox Church) Trophimus, Sabbatius, and Dorymedon September 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Armed Forces Day (Chile) Day of the First Public Appearance of the Slovak National Council Second day of Fiestas Patrias (Chile) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Saint Kitts and Nevis from the United Kingdom in 1983. International Talk Like a Pirate Day Observances (click on the day for details) Wife Appreciation Day Butterscotch Pudding Day Batman Day Fun Observances National Gymnastics Day September 19 is National Gymnastics Day, an unofficial celebration of the graceful sport that tests everything from physical strength to agility to balance and coordination. National Gymnastics Day was created in 1998 in the United States as a way to promote the sport among young people and to honor the sportspeople, coaches, and clubs who have kept the gymnastic tradition alive and thriving for centuries. Originated in Greece Gymnastics originated as an activity in ancient Greece. Then, it was a way for people to exercise, stay healthy and remain ready for battle. It wasn't until the late 19th century that it took on a competitive note. In 1881 the Federation of International Gymnastics (FIG) was created in Liège, Belgium. In 1896, men's gymnastics was part of the first modern Olympics held in Athens, Greece. The Amsterdam Olympics in 1928 featured the first female gymnastics events. Today, gymnastics is a popular sport around the world with many prestigious competitions and contests held throughout the year. How to Celebrate? Attend a gymnastic meet or competition in your area and cheer for your favorite gymnast and team. If you have always wanted to learn gymnastics, today is the perfect reason to begin. Find yourself a club or a gym and get started! Encourage the children and young adults in your life to consider gymnastics as a sport to pursue. Who knows, they may soon become Olympic level gymnasts. Know a gymnast? Send them a message or a note letting them know that you are proud of them and their achievements. Did You Know... …that Friedrich Ludwig Jahn, a German educator is considered the Father of Gymnastics? He was responsible for promoting some of the most popular gymnastic routines today. These include the parallel bar and the ring. *** Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it, you'll die. What is it? A: Nothing! *** Q: I have a head but no body, a heart but no blood. Just leaves and no branches, I grow without wood. What am I? A: Lettuce! *** Q: A man is pushing his car along, and when he comes to a hotel he shouts, "I'm bankrupt!" Why? A: He’s playing Monopoly. *** Q: If a red-house is made of red bricks, has a red wooden door, and a red roof, and a yellow-house is made of yellow bricks, has a yellow wooden door, and a yellow roof, then what is a green-house made of? A: Glass. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** How grapes are made *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

@sixxone Shhhhhh, let's keep a low profile on this one!!! The google censors have not attacked so far.

September 18th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Constantius (Theban Legion) Edward Bouverie Pusey (Episcopal Church) Eustorgius I Joseph of Cupertino Juan Macias Methodius of Olympus Richardis September 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of National Music (Azerbaijan) Island Language Day (Okinawa Prefecture, Japan) National Day or Dieciocho (Chile) National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day (United States) Navy Day (Croatia) World Water Monitoring Day Observances (click on the day for details) International Red Panda Day Cheeseburger Day First Love Day Locate An Old Friend Day Read An Ebook Day Hug A Greeting Card Writer Day Respect Day Gymnastics Day Coastal Cleanup Day Eat An Apple Day Fun Observances (2) National Cleanup Day The third Saturday in September is National CleanUp Day in the United States. National CleanUp Day was created by hiking enthusiasts Steve Jewett and Bill Willoughby in partnership with Clean Trails, a nonprofit that works to keep the outdoors clean. The unofficial holiday raises awareness about cleanliness and reducing litter. Cleaning the Outdoors The outdoors can bring a lot of joy and peace to those who enjoy hiking, walking, and climbing. Littering and trash, however, can not only ruin the experience, but it can also negatively affect the flora and fauna. National CleanUp Day is an attempt to bring together those who love the outdoors and nature to help clean up trails, parks, beaches, and other natural communal spaces. The observance encourages people to make an effort to reduce littering and to recycle so that the nature around us remains clean and devoid of garbage. Higher Quality of Life The core philosophy of the observance is that our quality of life can be widely impacted by the nature around us—garbage and litter filled natural spaces can negatively impact an individual's well-being as well as the environment. How to Celebrate? Get together with friends, family, and co-workers to organize a cleaning trip to the closest park, hiking trail, or beach. Raise awareness against littering and throwing garbage in communal spaces through social media and word of mouth. Join a local clean-up crew and help clean up your outdoors. Did You Know… …that almost 8 million tons of plastic end up in the oceans each year? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rice Krispie Treat Day September 18 is Rice Krispie Treat Day, an unofficial holiday dedicated to the no-bake, quick to make yummy gooey sweet treat. Thought to have been invented at the Kellogg Company in the late 1930s, the treats are made of Rice Krispie cereal and melted marshmallows, though sometimes the marshmallows can be substituted with caramel or syrup as the binding agent. Rice Bubbles Rice Krispies is a popular breakfast cereal made by Kellogs since 1928. While Rice Krispie treats were usually homemade, Kellogs trademarked the brand name Rice Krispie Treats and started selling a pre-packaged version of the treat in 1995. Today, any sweet treat that uses Rice Krispies and some form of sweet binding agent is called a rice krispie treat. In Australia and New Zealand, where the cereal is marketed as Rice Bubbles, the sweet treat is called rice bubble slices or rice bubble cakes. How to Celebrate? Make Rice Krispies treats and share them with your friends and co-workers. Add gourmet twists to the snack by adding nuts, saffron and cardamom. Make your Rice Krispies treats more colorful by crushing some candies or adding some sprinkles to them. Make Rice Krispies pops. Mold the treat into a shape of your choice, insert a stick in the treat and when it hardens, serve as is or decorate with melted sugar, icing or sprinkles. Staying away from sugar? What about making a savory version of the treat? Just substitute the marshmallows with cheese, flour and butter. Did You Know… …that rice is the seed of the rice plant? *** You measure my life in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy. Hard riddles want to trip you up, and this one works by hitting you with details from every angle. The big hint comes at the end with the wind. What does wind threaten most? You have to stretch your brain to come up with a something tiny and unexpected. Answer: A candle *** Q. A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room. The first room is ablaze with fire. The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters. The third contains a pair of lions who haven't eaten in years. Which room should he choose to survive? A. The third room—any lions who hadn't eaten in years would be dead! *** Q. What five-letter word becomes shorter if you add two letters to it? A. "Short" (add +"er")! *** Q. A man was driving a truck. His headlights weren't on, and the moon wasn't out. Ahead of him, a woman dressed in all black started crossing the road. Fortunately, the man braked so she could cross. How did he see her? A. It was the middle of the day! *** *** *** *** *** *** An Artist Left A Dress In The Dead Sea For Two Years *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 17th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Australian Citizenship Day Christian feast day: Albert of Vercelli Ariadne of Phrygia Blessed Cecilia Eusepi Stanislaus Papczyński Hildegard of Bingen Lambert Robert Bellarmine Satyrus of Milan Socrates and Stephen Zygmunt Szczęsny Feliński September 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day, observed on the previous Friday if it falls on a Saturday, the following Monday if on a Sunday; and the beginning of the Constitution Week (United States) Heroes' Day (Angola)[39] Marathwada Liberation Day (Maharashtra) Operation Market Garden Anniversary is still remembered with parachuting and dedications on this day. (Netherlands) Teachers' Day (Honduras) Observances (click on the day for details) Tradesmen Day International Country Music Day Table Shuffleboard Day Monte Cristo Sandwich Day Concussion Awareness Day Grenache Day Apple Dumpling Day Fun Observances International Country Music Day Celebrate all things country on September 17 or International Country Music Day. The unofficial holiday was created in 2003 as a way to bring together musicians and fans of the popular music genre, and to increase the number of country music aficionados around the world. Country music is a type of music that originated in eastern and southern United States during the 1920s. A combination of several styles, country music grew out of folk music brought to America by European immigrants. Unlike the prevailing European music at that time, however, country music took on a very distinct American flavor when it came to song lyrics. Singers and musicians avoided lyrics about love and romance, and instead sang about the daily life struggles of an ordinary working class person. Many Styles Stylistically, country music usually includes harmonies that are guided by instruments like the banjo, guitars and the harmonica. As country music has evolved over the year, several sub-genres have emerged. Some of these include honky-tonk, bluegrass music, rockabilly, country rock and country pop. Today, country music is some of the most widely heard music in the United States and in many other parts of the world. In the U.S., people celebrate National Country Music Day on July 4. How to Celebrate? Celebrate this musical holiday by listening to all your favorite country music songs. If you have never been introduced to this genre of music, today is the perfect reason to take some time off, put in your ear phones and discover the wonderful, melodious world of country music. Visit a local country music concert or host a country music party at home. Play country music and have your guests come dressed as their favorite country music artist. Did You Know… …that Nashville, Tennessee is considered to be the home of country music? *** In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. "Can't find Brillo pads," she wrote. "All they have are Tampax and Kotex." *** My mom moved into a new condo, and I went to visit for a couple of days. Searching for a coffee cup one morning, I sighed, "It seems like I'm always looking for something in your kitchen." "That's good," Mom said. When I looked confused, she explained, "Because when you know where to look, it's time to go home." *** Over dinner, I explained the health benefits of a colorful meal to my family. "The more colors, the more variety of nutrients," I told them. Pointing to our food, I asked, "How many different colors do you see?" "Six," volunteered my daughter. "Seven if you count the burned parts." *** *** *** *** *** *** What happens when you leave a window open on your car overnight during a snow blizzard in Reykjavík, Iceland. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 16th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Andrew Kim Taegon (one of The Korean Martyrs) Curcodomus Cyprian (Catholic Church) Edith of Wilton Euphemia Ludmila Ninian Pope Cornelius September 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Day of Atonement / Yom Kippur is a moveable observance that occurs on the 10 of Tishrei, which is 16 September 2021. Cry of Dolores, celebrates the declaration of independence of Mexico from Spain in 1810. See Fiestas Patrias Independence Day (Papua New Guinea), celebrates the independence of Papua New Guinea from Australia in 1975. International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer[14] Malaysian Armed Forces Day (Malaysia) Malaysia Day (Malaysia, Singapore) Martyrs' Day (Libya) National Heroes Day (Saint Kitts and Nevis) Observances (click on the day for details) Play Doh Day Teenager Workout Day Working Parents Day Collect Rocks Day World Ozone Day Stepfamily Day Cinnamon-Raisin Bread Day Fun Observances (2) Collect Rocks Day On September 16 take a walk to the park, the beach, or to the jewelers, and collect some pretty looking rocks. Why, you ask? Because it is Collect Rocks Day. While the origins of this obviously made up holiday are unknown, we can safely assume that the day encourages people to learn more about geology. Geology is the study of the Earth, its materials and the processes through which these materials are created. Three Major Types Rocks are tightly compacted formations of minerals and are found all over the lithosphere, the top solid layer of the Earth. Geologists classify rocks into three major types based on texture, composition, and size. These types are igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic rocks. Almost 65% of the Earth is made up of igneous rocks, though over time one type of rock can turn into another due to exposure to the Earth's atmosphere and environmental factors. This transition between different type of rocks is called a rock cycle. How to Celebrate? Rocks have been an integral part of human activity since antiquity. Some of the earliest weapons and musical instruments were made of rocks. Mining of rocks has made it possible for humans to use metals and other materials for developing technology. Here are some ways you can show your appreciation for rocks and their importance in our daily lives: Take a walk and collect different kinds of rocks - who knows you may just find a new fossil hiding in the rocks? Learn more about the different types of rocks so that you can identify the types of rocks you just collected. Not sure what to do with the rocks? What about painting on them and displaying them creatively? If painting is not your thing, but you are still creatively inclined, why not spend the day learning about rock art? Rock art is art made on rock. Ancient humans used it as a way to record significant events and as part of rituals. If there is an archealogical site close to where you live, that features such art, why not take a trip to see it? Did You Know… …that petrology is the scientific study of rocks? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guacamole Day September 16 is Guacamole Day. The unofficial holiday celebrates the delicious Mexican side-dish or dip made of avocados. Usually eaten as a side-dish, guacamole has been a part of traditional Mexican cuisine since the time of the Aztecs. Today, the dip, whose name comes from an Aztec dialect Nahuatl and means guacamole sauce, is a popular side-dish, salad addition and party dip all around the world. Mostly Avocado Traditionally, the dish is made by mashing avocados in a mortar and pestle and adding chopped onions, tomatoes, garlic, lemon juice and cumin to it. Guacamole is informally called guac in the United States and Canada. Healthy Fruit Avocados are fruit native to Mexico and Central America and are considered to be a good source for Vitamin K and some types of vitamin B. The holiday is also called National Guacamole Day in the U.S. How to Celebrate? With lots of guacamole, of course! Have guacamole for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Have it with your bacon and eggs for breakfast, use it as a spread for your sandwich at lunch, add it your salad at dinner, or if you are like us eat a bowlful of yummy guacamole by itself! Ever tried to make a sweet guacamole? In Sri Lanka, mashed avocado is mixed with milk and sugar or syrup and eaten as a dessert. Did You Know… …that avocados are also known as alligator pear owing to the texture of its skin? *** My father’s secretary was visibly distraught one morning when she arrived at the office and explained that her children’s parrot had escaped from his cage and flown out an open window. Of all the dangers the tame bird would face outdoors alone, she seemed most concerned about what would happen if the bird started talking. Confused, my father asked what the parrot could say. “Well,” she explained, “he mostly says, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ ” *** When my daughter and I caught only one perch on our fishing trip—not enough for even a modest lunch—we decided to feed it to her two cats. She put our catch in their dish and watched as the two pampered pets sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it. Thinking quickly, my daughter then picked up the dish, walked over to the electric can opener, ran it for a few seconds, then put the fish back down. The cats dug right in. *** I worked at a boarding kennel where people leave their dogs and cats while on vacation. One morning I had taken a cat out of his cage, and after playing with him and replenishing his food and water, I put him back in. A few minutes later, I was surprised to see the feline at my feet, since the cage doors lock automatically when they’re shut. I couldn’t figure out how the cat escaped, until I bent down to pick him up and spied his nametag: “Houdini.” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 15th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Battle of Britain Day (United Kingdom) Christian feast day: Joseph Abibos Alpinus (Albinus) of Lyon Aprus (Èvre) of Toul Catherine of Genoa James Chisholm (Episcopal Church) Saint Dominic in Soriano (formerly) Mamilian of Palermo Mirin Nicetas the Goth Nicomedes Our Lady of Sorrows September 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Cry of Dolores, celebrated on the eve of Independence Day (Mexico). Earliest day on which Father's Day can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Sunday in September. (Ukraine) Earliest day on which German-American Steuben Parade can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Saturday in September. (United States, especially New York City) Earliest day on which POW/MIA Recognition Day can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Friday in September. (United States) Earliest day on which Prinsjesdag can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Tuesday in September. (Netherlands) Earliest day on which Respect for the Aged Day can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in September. (Japan) Engineer's Day (India) Independence Day, celebrates the Act of Independence of Central America from Spain in 1821 of Guatemala (a Patriotic Day), El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica. International Day of Democracy[41] Knowledge Day (Azerbaijan) Restoration of Primorska to the Motherland Day (Slovenia) Silpa Bhirasri Day (Thailand). The beginning of German American Heritage Month, celebrated until October 15[42] The beginning of National Hispanic Heritage Month, celebrated until October 15 (United States) World Lymphoma Awareness Day (International) Observances (click on the day for details) World Afro Day Cheese Toast Day Double Cheeseburger Day International Dot Day Greenpeace Day Felt Hat Day Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie Day Linguine Day Observances (click on the month for details) Hispanic Heritage Month Wed Sep 15th, 2021 - Fri Oct 15th, 2021 Fun Observances Make a Hat Day On September 15, don your creative hat, gather your craft supplies, channel the secret milliner in your soul and make yourself a hat because it is Make a Hat Day. We can all safely assume that the unknown originator of this unofficial holiday aimed to encourage people to look their very best by sporting a hat they made from scratch. Throughout history people have used hats to protect themselves from the elements, for religious purposes, and to denote profession, class and status. These days, hats have become fashion accessories, worn by people to reflect their personalities and style. How to Celebrate? Make hats using a variety of materials – yarn, felt, paper, and cloth. Go crazy embellishing it. Wear a hat that you made to work. Have a hat themed party, and have your guests come dressed in hats they have made, decorate the venue with hats and serve hat shaped cupcakes. Host a hat making party. Gather around with your friends with craft supplies and spend an evening designing and making hats. Hold a hat contest, where everyone makes their own hat and whoever has the best and the most creative hat wins. Did You Know... ...that the word milliner, which refers to a person who designs, makes, or sells hats, is named after the Italian city of Milan? Originally the word was used for residents of Milan. *** Test Answers From Smart-Alecky Students • Q: 
What’s the name of a 
six-sided polygon? A: Sixagon. • Q: 
What part of the body is 
affected by glandular fever? A: The glandular. • Q: 
In The Tempest, why does 
Ariel sing in Gonzalo’s ear? A: 
She’s a mermaid and wants to be human. • Q: 
In comparison with large 
hydrocarbons, how would you describe small hydrocarbons? A: They’re smaller. • Q: 
Who were the Bolsheviks? A: A Russian ballet company. *** Spotted on Facebook… Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did 
I do on my research paper? Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the 
sentences you apparently 
kidnapped in the dead of night 
and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation. *** I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me. “Hi, Miss Butcher,” I said. “Hi, Eddie,” she replied. “So you do remember me?” I asked. “Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but it is a lasting one.” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn

September 14th - Holidays and Observances (click on the day for details) Christian feast day: Aelia Flaccilla (Eastern Orthodox Church) Cormac mac Cuilennáin (or of Cashel) Crescentius of Rome Feast of the Cross (Christianity) Elevation of the Holy Cross (Eastern Orthodox) Formerly, the Wednesday, Friday and Saturday following 14 September were observed as one of the four sets of Ember days. In the Irish calendar they were known as Quarter tense. (Roman Catholic and Anglican Churches) Lord of Miracles of Buga Louis Gabriel Taurin Dufresse (one of Martyr Saints of China) Maternus of Cologne Notburga September 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Engineer's Day (Romania) Hindi Day (Hindi-speaking states of India) Mobilized Servicemen Day (Ukraine) San Jacinto Day (Nicaragua) Observances (click on the day or week for details) Eat a Hoagie Day Cream Filled Donut Day Gobstopper Day Bubblegum Day *** *** A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out. The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.” *** *** Blast from the Past *** A tree on fire after a lightning strike *** Just a mom carrying her babies *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** sandrewn