walkofftheearth

Thanks loads guys! Much love. I am still extremely scared to come out to him, or any one, in fact. This is probably because I go to church and serve actively, plus he's my church mate, and we all know how anti-homo most churches are. If I were to come out to anyone in church, there practically goes my life. I am scared of being judged for who I am + the fact that I'm Christian. Plus, I come from an Asian country, and Asians are usually more reserved about all these gay rights and stuff - which I am so not proud of. I will keep trying, guys, thank you so much for your help! I wish you all the best in love too <3 P.S. Keep trying = drop hints and bring up the topic to him once in a while?? And any christians who may offer good advice on this?

I've been gay since I was 13 (at least I figured it then). I am madly in love with my childhood friend and we have been so close. He's had a girlfriend many years back, was "wooing" a few after (including my sister, ouch) - but he shows some gay vibes - which puzzles me, A LOT. We do showers, sleepovers, everything. I actually touched his dick in his sleep before and he didn't wake. I dont know how heavy a sleeper he can be (or anyone for that matter). I couldn't take it and I stopped. We always like to "play gay", touching each other here and there, somehow my gaydar beeps when we do that. Like we've something special. And I know it's not wishful thinking because he's been showing interest for quite a while. Just hope that the girls he show me are literally for show, because I really want to be more than just friends with him. It's killing me - the girls, the showers, the so-close-yet-so-far-ness... I just hope he feels the same way I do about him. He gives off the vibe and the very next second it's not there. Somehow I can feel it, but I just wanna be sure that it's not my high hopes getting the better of me. What should I do? What should I say?