Sorcerer
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I wish Aidan had chosen a different path forward. Can easily understand how hard it is to buck a parent, even one that may be that in name only. Thus begins his Childhood's End. Based on Book I, he makes it, but the road taken may not have been the difference that made it better.
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Can well believe it of Brooke, my sister snuck out more than once, and raced, though in regular rallies. She had a mustang with a V6 to start, and won first place where everyone else had V8's in the late 60's. Later on she had a Chevy Impala with overhead cams and super chargers, she was scary for me to drive with, but very very good. Finally one day she decided enough was enough and stopped racing. As for how Aidan felt about her, though we fought, a lot, the feelings were the same. Good writing.
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Personally do not like fights, never have, but the scene was good, and felt real.
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A Kiss That Shook the World
Sorcerer commented on Aceinthehole's story chapter in A Kiss That Shook the World
At least Aidan can tell the difference, that's a start. -
A Broken Rib VS A Broken Heart?
Sorcerer commented on Aceinthehole's story chapter in A Broken Rib VS A Broken Heart?
What Aidan told the fighter was classy, way back when, say 1890's there was Gentleman "Jim" Corban, who became a prizefighter, and fought as a gentleman. Aidan can follow that example, if he chooses, it may be nearer to who he is anyway, and finally rebel against his father. -
Can sort of agree with the previous two posts, but grew up with the San Francisco Chronicle, and it was, and may still be, the worst edited newspaper that have ever read. So, all of the minor errors, have long ago learned to just plow through, and keep on going. That includes adding letters, or the occasional word. For me it does not detract, but most people probably had a better newspaper, when they were read regularly. That aside, Aidan, is finally coming into focus, as a clear personality, and more or less like the kid. He just has a lot to learn, which is what the story will tell, my assumption.
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The King of the Underground
Sorcerer commented on Aceinthehole's story chapter in The King of the Underground
Aiden seems like an OK guy, a bit clueless, not a lot of street smarts, but definitely someone who doesn't know what is going on around him. Probably from trying to avoid what is going around at home, with his parents, and just being a rich kid, he is just out of touch, unless it is a punch. Perhaps having someone with no history will help re-balance Eli, then again, there is only so much an amateur can do. Be interesting to see how he starts finally growing up and responding to the real world, as it were. -
Once you fall in love with another, no matter what happens to the relationship, even death, does not end that love. One learns how to move on, the way one will. Love doesn't end, it just continues in a different form.
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Jamie was one of those who ran on high octane fumes and the power of emotion, fitting the poets line, "My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; But ah my foes, and oh my friends--it gives a lovely light" That was Jamie and now he is gone. Wonderful writing, great story, am hoping in the sequel, Eli remembers beside what he considers his original sin, there remains original innocence to. Thank you, The poet is Edna St. Vincent Millay
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Did not see this coming, at all. Pit does not know who he has, and that will come back to bite him, bad, at least I hope so. Well done.
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Maybe Eli can restore Jamie to who he can be. Am a hopeless romantic at heart, would like this to work through. But somehow it seems like Pit will put a stop to it. There is just to much money involved for it to end as quickly as Jamie needs it to, or at least that seems where the story line should go.
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Hopefully when the fog clears the sun will shine, and a path will appear, that makes sense to Jamie. Bout would not count on it.
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The other driver was right, Jamie is out of control, and acting out. This is not likely to end well. Still will keep on reading.
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One of the hardest things is to just let someone be who they are being, and not criticize. Took me a while, to put it mildly, to learn that one.
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It is very nice to see a side of Jamie he doesn't readily let out. That he cares, not just for Eli, but his sisters, dad, and friends. That's real for him. Finally picked up that the story is named for Eli, not Jamie. Velocity is Eli, and he is really the handle around which everything else revolves, even if told from Jamie's point of view. Nice work.
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Don''t know or follow hockey but this was easy to follow.
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It seems like Jamie just can't help himself get deeper. Whether with Eli or the Underground. Love may be the answer, but in this case will it be enough?
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If love is the answer, Eli may be the way.
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Jacob is being a good friend, hope it won't backfire on him. Jamie is beginning to get offers, hockey, Eli, as a different path, would like him to take it, but as the story has a dark side, it does not look likely.
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Is Jamie going to use Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" as his theme song?
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Jamie made a split second decision. One a lot of people make, he thought, perhaps correctly, that his opponent would do to him, what he did to his opponent. We will never know, if that thought was correct, teenagers make decisions on the fly, they are still children to some extent. They can get so wrapped up in the moment that they forget the possible consequences of their actions. A friend of my said instead of adolescents it should be called a dulled essence. When Jamie wakes up to his actions, he will have a lot to work through.
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The frustration of Jamie trying to get it out, in more ways than one, was good. The way Jacob just related his understanding was nice. The blinking at the bright sun after being in the dark of Matty was close to priceless.
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Can more than remember the high, the drive, just the exhilaration of being with that special someone. Would normally drive with the limit, and spend my time listening to music and looking at scenery. With them, it was flying low. Just the change of head space they created for me, or whatever. You do that part of Jamie exceptionally well. The Kid is more than a showman, he is being a responsible kid, taking up the slack, that his mother left, in more ways than one. It is a heavy burden, but he couldn't do anything else. It is who he is. Am definitely enjoying the story, even knowing this is like a brief summer in a stormy autumn and worse winter that's coming.
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Great unexpected ending! Never a racer myself, but when wanting to get to someone, anything that made it happen sooner was ok by me. Jamie is so good at that.
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Once the penny drops, all is revealed. Nice chapter, a bit of brightness in a dark story is very nice.
