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GaryKelly

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  1. GaryKelly

    Piffle

    By GaryKelly,

    I like the word 'piffle', not that I use it often...actually, this could be the first time ever. Piffle, piffle, piffle. Nancy, my grossly overweight neighbor from a few years ago, used 'piffle' occasionally. She wore outrageous hats...big ostentatious floppy things with bows and flowers and assorted wobbly bits. She was known locally as 'the hat lady'. One time I turned an old gas copper washer into (what I thought was a brilliantly creative) planter pot, and moved it to her side of the yard for extra sun. "Get that monstrosity out of my sight!" she bellowed. Nonethless, we became friends.
     
    Words are fun and, at the risk of upsetting the literary establishment, one can fool around with 'credibility' and change it to 'crebidility', or 'similar' to 'simular' or 'pedestrians' to 'pedestrainians' or 'humidity' to 'humididity' or 'Australia' to 'Australalalia'. Constrabilge, zararee, thidge and others were words I invented as a child to compete with grown ups. One time I took a grocery list down to the local shop in an attempt to mimick my mother's grocery lists. Mine was unfathomable scribble, but not to me. I felt incredibly mature.
     
    Camy (who introduced me to 'piffle') also mentioned that he was enjoying The Inevitable Murder of Horace Fink. But I'm used to that kind of praise and endless clamoring for autographs and embarassing adulation. *Ahem* No...I appreciate complimentary assessments from talented glockenspiel players and authors like Camy.
     
    I use American spelling despite being antipodean...I'm loathe to confuse the poor little dears (and got tired of endless northern hemispherical attempts to correct my English). I think I read somewhere that the Poms added the 'u' to color and labor (for example) in order to tart up the lingo to compete with the more sophisticated parlez vous across the channel.
     
    However, I am a fan of 'g'day' because it doesn't require an answer. It doesn't work with all Aussies...some reply 'well, thanks' or 'pretty good' even though you haven't asked them anything. Some people...
     
    I'll leave it to you to determine whether this entry is piffle or waffle or both. In my last life I was involved in the sow's ear business.
     
    AND, before I fergit, I posted chapter 5 today: http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=349
  2. GaryKelly
    Thanks to Camy, I now know the meaning of Lexicon. Nope...it's not a Toyota and it has nothing to do with some crook trying to pinch your Lexi. So, there ya go, ya learn something every day. Also, while I'm in a mood, Myr helped me with formatting The Inevitable Murder of Horace Fink on eFiction (to delete the dark blue background). He must be a genius, that bloke. Is he responsible for the programming on GA? The site is incredibly user friendly (even for fossils). BTW, due to overwhelming demand (yeah, right) I posted chapter 4 this morning.
     
    http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=349
     
    Speaking of geniuses, I spent some 18 months chatting via email to the Bulgarian Bombshell. I boasted that I did one those IQ thingies on the internet and scored 129 (next time I'll do it sober). So, the BB tried it and scored 145. Grrrr. And he was just 15 at the time! Double Grrrrr. Yes, a very smart lad who was recently offered a scholarship in California to study English Lit. He had a crush on me at one stage and I had to do some fancy Fred Astaire footwork to avoid his adolescent infatuation. Scary stuff! But, like all things, ashes to ashes, dust to dust...back to being 'Gary Who?'
     
    Blogs are cool provided one has something to say (or the ability to dress up nonsense to resemble something intelligent). I have no diplomas, no medals, no awards, no nuttin'. I left school at 14. Whatever knowledge/skill I might have I've plag...uh...gleaned from doing it the hard way. I figure if one learns from one's mistakes then go make a whole bunch of the damn things. One morning, the relief manager of a radio station where I worked as breakfast announcer walked into the studio and asked where everybody was. Everybody? You're lookin' at him, darling. She was amazed that I was announcer, news reader, programmer, producer, panel operator, receptionist and tea maker. "You must have been to the school of hard knocks," she said.
  3. GaryKelly

    Helluva bloke

    By GaryKelly,

    Coming Undone says I sound like a helluva bloke and that, at least, I made him laugh. Always the joker a friend once told me. Well, yes, humor rules. Helluva bloke? I dunno about that. The only time I stand out is when all the other passengers in an elevator leave...and that's why I rely on the keyboard to put my mind on exhibition. There's a helluva lotta weirdo stuff that goes on in there that's not apparent when I'm standing in an elevator watching the various floor numbers light up on the panel. This is just a shortie to thank CU for his much appreciated comment.
  4. GaryKelly
    Yes, I'm a thinker and a fossil. My best friend called me a fossil 10 years ago! Cheeky bugger. But, he also called me AOD (awesome old dude) because I called him OAD (one awesome dude). It was one of those silly mutual thingies.
     
    However, since becoming addicted to writing, I've discovered that thinking is like any other exercise... it encourages growth. Years ago, a friend accused me of thinking too much (I was 21). I wonder what he would say now. Ya know, I suspect that most people don't think enough. How else do you explain the abundance of sheep led by a minority of shepherds? And the perennial problems of the world? How do you explain the existence of shrinks who do the thinking for their clients? Could it be that most peeps prefer others to do their thinking and decision-making for them? Oh, dear...
     
    I recommend writing. It's the best therapy I know. Throw a few words onto the screen and they immediately demand scrutiny and analysis. They force you to think. Once your thoughts take on a physical form it's like a mirror that reveals faults. Eeeek! There's a hair growing out of my nostril!
     
    As to being a fossil, I don't mind in the least. A team of wild horses couldn't drag me back to my past. Wisdom (say I with all due modesty) is much more than adequate compensation for the wrinkles. And that's one reason I no longer iron my shirts...I like things with more wrinkles than I have. More importantly, I've discovered that if one presents oneself honestly and without prejudice or condescendence one can befriend younger people with ease. It's all about treating others as equals and making them feel worthwhile. Too easy.
     
    Yes, ladies and genitals, aging is cool if you want it to be. Oh, and don't forget my free books! They'll change your life. www.kellytrader.com
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