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Brendell

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Everything posted by Brendell

  1. Brendell

    Chapter 2

    Justin had been speaking for over an hour. His mother, after leading him out of their bathroom, sat him down on the edge of their bed and took his hand in hers. At first, the words had taken a while to come to Justin. But then, all of a sudden, the story became this squirming creature, clawing its way up Justin’s throat and out of his mouth, desperate to reach the outside world. For months since the “incident” Justin had thought his best course of action was to completely seal himself off fr
  2. Brendell

    Chapter 1

    As the bell rang to signal the end of 3rd period, Mr. Thomas’ British literature class slammed closed notebooks and textbooks and quickly stuffed them into backpacks, eager to escape Dickens’ never-ending novel. Seemingly unaware of his surroundings, Justin Parks sat at his desk in the third row of the class, his book sitting open in front of him, staring straight ahead. He had sat in that position since the beginning of class – a position of apparent complete boredom that was mimicked by oth
  3. Brendell

    The Incident

    Justin Parks had a plan after the "incident." But with a recent move to Shiloh Falls, everything will change.
  4. This story is 100% fictional. Nothing written here has actually occurred in real life. Read this only if you are interested in a story about a young man learning the truth about himself and the world around him. Do not read it if doing so will get you or the author in trouble. Please send honest comments, good or bad, to brendell83@yahoo.com. Discovering the Truth - Part 1 "Mom, dad...I have something I need to tell you," I said quietly, my voice wavering slightly with a mixture
  5. Brandon makes the big step of coming out to his parents - and it goes far differently than he would have hoped.
  6. Julian, I remember when I first started writing my story. I was definitely very nervous about what kind of response I was going to get! All went well, though, and I haven't looked back. Writing, I think, can be one of the most rewarding things to do, especially when we have people urging us on. I think you've got some talent, but it's a bit rough around the edges and could use some work. One thing that would immediately improve your writing is proper grammar. I know it scares a lot of people - me included! And while good grammar doesn't necessarily enhance a story, bad grammar definitely hurts it, as readers are left trying to decipher meaning or fill in words that are missing. They are focusing on the words themselves instead of the message the words are conveying. If you would like, I would be more than happy to edit your story and give you some pointers on what to look for, in terms of grammar, when writing. Just let me know!
  7. A little over two years ago now (wow, has it been that long?) I started reading a story called "Matthew Figures it Out" by Ehman Penn. I spoke at length with the author, and he was a major force in helping me change the way I lived my life for the better. He was also the main reason I began writing. I started this story the summer before last when I was surrounded by cornfields in the mid west and bored out of my mind. Then school came back with everything it entailed, and the story fell away. Occasionally I would return to add another chapter, but it felt awful to be posting once every sixth months. Recently, I've gotten back into a writing kick (with some more time freed up). I'm not as proud of the most recent chapter, probably because it was a bit rushed and I'm a bit out of wack when it comes to writing. I can feel myself getting back into it though. I wanted to post about my story here, as I can't imagine a better place for advice about writing and suggestions on how to improve what I have done. I desperately want to finish this story as I feel a strong loyalty to it (and I've had an ending in mind since day one), even though I have a couple pretty well developed ideas of what I want to start writing next. I've promised myself I won't start anything more until this is finished. You can find the story on Nifty in the high_school section, or on http://www.tarheelwriter.com/discovering_the_truth.html and also on http://www.superdrewby.com/stories/truth/index.shtml Thanks in advance for any and all help and thanks for this place existing. I'm only sad I didn't know of it sooner.
  8. I have long been a fan of Un's story, having started reading back when he was still on part I. The only negative thing I could possibly say is that "Is everyone gay?!" It certainly seems that way. But if I were writing a story as long as his, I'd have long ago given up. Instead, Un greets us with new and exciting (and wierdly kinky) adventures for his titular characters in every installment. It was great, after all this time, to finally hear Jesse's life story.
  9. I've read the first couple chapters of this so far, and I enjoyed them. I've never really been a fan of humongous chapters as I think it can be a turn off to people that don't really, really want to read it. I think Julian has a great deal of talent, though I would say that I'm a little skeptical of the realism of the relationship the kids have with the adults. The adult-adult relationships and conversations feel real, as do most of the kid-kid relations and conversations, but the others just seem a little off to me. Even so, I've greatly enjoyed what I've read, and as soon as I find time (those chapters really are long!), I'll read even more. Keep up the good work!
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