xteeeeeeve

Awwww THANK YOU SO MUCH you guys... =,) Apparently, most of you want me to just close this chapter of my life and finally move on. But I thought about it, and realized that if I kept avoiding this 'problem', sooner or later, im gonna have to look back at the whole situation, and spend the rest of my days saying 'what if' and it'll eat me up inside. So yeah, I bit the bullet and asked him. Well, I didn't ask him right out if he still loves me or whatever. Instead, I sent him an offline message and asked why he suddenly came back after four months. When we did finally talk again, he just said he lost the message coz his messenger crashed or something and asked if I could restate my question. He also said he did read most it but he's 'forgotten all about it'. I got annoyed so I told him to forget it. But I asked him why he sent me that song and if it meant anything to him. He just dodged the question and asked 'What do you mean "if it meant anything" to me?'. Now, this guy is faaaar from dense. Heck, he's a freaking writer for an online magazine. He knows. Even a monkey could tell I'm still in love with that bastard. I thought he truly misses what we had together and wanted to make things right. I guess I was wrong... But hey, that's life. You win some, you lose some. It hurts. Man, it f**king HURTS. But I guess it's better than never knowing what could've happened if I did something about it. At least I wont have to look back thinking I missed an opportunity coz I was scared. THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH for helping me out. You guys have no idea how much each one of your replies has made all the hurt easier to bear. Dun worry, I've deleted everything - his addresses, my AIM messenger, our chat logs (Yes, I'm very sentimental - I think it'll be the death of me), AND, I finally blocked his Facebook account so I wont have any access to it anymore. No more stalking. PROMISE. Again, THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! >> hugs << Steve

Hey guys.. i need advice... ***DISCLAIMER : English isnt my mothertongue so bear with me. ^^' Anyway.. a few weeks ago, my ex sent me this: " yo steve i just wanted to say sorry for some of the stuff i said/did. i was in kind of a weird place emotionally. not really an excuse, but it's there and it is what it is so take it as you will. maybe we can be friends again one day. although i completely get it if you don't want to talk or anything. it's cool. i just thought i'd extend an olive branch because i was kind of a dick. peace. " That's FOUR months after he broke up with me - FOUR months with zero communication whatsoever. (We were in a long-distance relationship btw) A " hey you. it's cool dude. apology accepted." was all i could say. It just took me by surprise. I would never expect in a million years he'd talk to me again. But that's not the real reason why I came to ask your advice. Thing is, I thought I'd just forgive him and move on. But just when I thought I had completely forgotten about him, now that we're 'cool', I keep feeling the need to want to talk to him again. It's been a WHILE since I've opened my AIM (he's one of only 4 friends I have on there). Now, I constantly log in (invisible) to check whether he's on or not or if he left me any messages. Now, I keep stalking his facebook for updates on his life. We're no longer friends on there btw. He did try to add me again but I just ignored his request. Anyway, I've become obsessed again! I didnt realize I still have feelings - strong feelings - for that bastard! ...and I hate it. He hurt me big time and I'm supposed to be mad at him still. Now, I miss him terribly it's frustrating! I tried so hard to avoid anymore contact with him after he sent me that message but to no avail. Well, we never really talked a lot like we used to - just exchanged some 'Hi's and watchu up to's'. He didn't really make any effort to contact me again either. We only talked whenever I went online. He's always the first to say 'Hi' - I'd only sit there and wait until he talked to me. Few days passed, and I just stopped talking to him again - thinking I was just reading too much into his apology. But that never stopped the stalking though. Two days ago, I decided to go online to see if he were around. He seemed really happy to see me there and was kinda talkative, just like old times. That's when things got a little more confusing. Out of the blue, he sent me a link to this video: I thought it was another one of those stupid videos he loved to send me. Well, at first I really thought it was stupid coz I thought the woman in the video seemed completely crazy and I couldn't make out a word she was saying (OKay, maybe 2 or 3 words, but still). That's when I asked why he sent me that vid. "Idunno. I think it's a nice song." he said. So I googled the lyrics to the song: Out on the wiley, windy moors We'd roll and fall in green You had a temper, like my jealousy Too hot, too greedy How could you leave me? When I needed to possess you? I hated you, I loved you too Bad dreams in the night They told me I was going to lose the fight Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering Wuthering Heights Heathcliff, its me, Cathy come home I'm so cold, let me in-a-your window Oh it gets dark, it gets lonely On the other side from you I pine alot, I find the lot Falls through without you I'm coming back love, cruel Heathcliff My one dream, my only master Too long I roam in the night I'm coming back to his side to put it right I'm coming home to wuthering, wuthering, Wuthering Heights Oh let me have it, let me grab your soul away Oh let me have it, let me grab your soul away You know it's me, Cathy So apparently, it's about this girl, Cathy, who pleads to Heathcliff to take her back in again...something like that. Surprised me? YES. Made me hopeful? VERY. I didnt ask further. I was scared to ask if it meant anything to him. So I just said it's nice and if I'm ever having a son, I would name him Heathcliff coz i thought it was a cool name. He said if he had a son he'd name him Biscuit. lol and said "I wanna have your babies and name them all Biscuit." O.o We talked again today and it was nothing like the other day. The 'conversation' we had today was just dull. Seemed like he was not interested. Please, tell me I'm not reading too much into this. Please tell me what I should do. I admit I still love him. But I dont wanna ask if he still feels the same way. I'm scared of getting rejected again. Rejection hurts so much. I dont think I can stand another one. -Steve

thank you so much ..we've only been together for about 3 months...this problem started when he kept complaining about winter starting and having to adjust to daylight saving and all that. since then, his mood suddenly dropped. my bf's kinda introverted as well..so idunno if it's a commitment issue really. he says he loves me a lot. and he just doesnt know what going on with him. idunno. now im all confused.. i have a lot of thinking to do..and this is the part that i really hate the most. hmph ><

great. now im getting paranoid..

thanx... it's not the physical distance but the emotional distance that hurts...i miss the old him...i dont understand why this is happening. this has been going on for more than a couple of weeks now... i really care about him... i dont wanna lose him.

alright..but he's kinda stubborn about these things. he'll prolly just think it's a waste of time and money. idunno..i'll try to talk to him.. thnx!

My boyfriend has Seasonal Affective Disorder...and we're in a long distance relationship which makes things so difficult for us. he barely talks to me now...he used to be so energetic and talkative...now our conversations have become duller each day...he rarely shows some affection too. it's like he's no longer interested. and it hurts. idunno what to do...i try so hard to get him to cheer up..but nothing. i just had a conversation with him on AIM and...he just wasnt in the mood as always. there was a long pause in our conversation so i asked if he was busy or something and this was his only reply: " no i'm just bleh i don't really feel good i'm going to sleep goodnight. " he didnt even give me chance to reply. he went off just like that. idunno what to do..it's affecting me too..it hurts so bad that i cant think of anything else to turn this around. i heard this SAD thing will stay with you until winter ends. please help me..i need advice thnx steve

My boyfriend has Seasonal Affective Disorder...and we're in a long distance relationship which makes things so difficult for us. he barely talks to me now...he used to be so energetic and talkative...now our conversations have become duller each day...he rarely shows some affection too. it's like he's no longer interested. and it hurts. idunno what to do...i try so hard to get him to cheer up..but nothing. i just had a conversation with him on AIM and...he just wasnt in the mood as always. there was a long pause in our conversation so i asked if he was busy or something and this was his only reply: " no i'm just bleh i don't really feel good i'm going to sleep goodnight. " he didnt even give me chance to reply. he went off just like that. idunno what to do..it's affecting me too..it hurts so bad that i cant think of anything else to turn this around. i heard this SAD thing will stay with you until winter ends. please help me..i need advice steve