rainyday

Thanks everyone. Well I texted him about the party tonight, and he didn't respond. Also called got his voicemail. I basically just said I guess somethings changed and your ignoring me or you didn't get my text, maybe I'm being too needy, but I do genuinely want to get to know you better. So we will see what happens with that. My guess is maybe he didn't enjoy me as much as I thought he did, but didn't have the guts to say it. I sure wish people could be mature about shit and just tell me what the problem is instead of just ignoring me.

Thanks for the advice everyone. To update you, we've texted back and forth a few times since then, but haven't had very long conversations. Last night I texted him to ask how he was doing, but he didn't respond for a while and then when he did said he had to go. I also noticed he changed his online profile back to being interested in dating. So I'm assuming he's either really busy, not interested, or just has no idea what he wants. It is kind of odd though since after our date he told me he felt horrible about just wanting to be friends, and had a fun time on the date. Maybe he lied, didn't get that vibe though. However, I could be reading way too much into things like I tend to do.

Hey everyone, I haven't been active on these forums for quite some time. Now that I've finished grad school I actually have free time so you might see me around more often. So I met this guy online about a week ago. We exchanged over 100+ messages on the dating site for the first few days. Then I asked him out on like day 3, and gave him my phone number. We then pretty much texted constantly up until the date (actually even sexted the night before the date, no photos or anything just flirting), and exchanged two phone calls. So I knew a fair amount about him before the first date. We have many things in common (and I'm talking like creepily coincidental things, for instance our birthdays are a day apart and we were both born prematurely) and have similar personalities. Neither of us has had sex yet (For me this is b/c there's not a very big gay population here and haven't found anyone I've wanted to have sex with, for him he's just new to gay dating). I'm 23, he's 21. He's much younger than me in terms of gay years, he's still not out to his parents yet and had a girlfriend until like a year and a half ago. Went out on our first date and about halfway through the date, he tells me he's been thinking about it and he's not ready for a relationship. He told me he needs to get more comfortable with himself, and doesn't think it be fair to me to date right now, but still wants to be friends. He did tell me I would be at the top of his list when he was ready to date (said that he'd have to see how it goes this summer). I do feel he was being sincere about this since after our date he changed his online profile to reflect that he was just looking for new friends and not a date. The date itself was actually probably the most enjoyable first date I've been on despite him telling me he just wanted to be friends. There were only a few awkward silences and it lasted for about 3 hours (longer than previous first dates I've been on). He strikes me as someone that is still trying to figure out who he is. I did tell him that I would be willing to be friends since he's someone I'd like to get to know even as a friend. He told me he felt like the worst person ever for doing that to me, and said that we'd just have to see what happened between us. He also invited me to a party at his house next weekend. So my question is, what would you all do in this situation? Have I been friend zoned forever, or is their hope for something more? Am I wasting my time? Keep in mind, I don't mind being just friends, but in terms of compatibility I feel like this is someone I could see myself in a relationship with (at least based on what I know about him now). We probably have more in common than anyone else I've dated. I guess I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this guy.

I have a date with someone this weekend, that got me thinking about this. What is proper dating etiquette? Some people I know would think the other person wasn't interested if they didn't receive a kiss at the end or a first date, then again others would wait until the second or third date. Personally I've had dates where I've kissed the guy, and dates where I haven't. I'm usually not the one to initiate the kiss though. So to kiss or not to kiss on a first date?

Poetry by Rainyday

Feeling nothing, the pain is gone Swept Away, Questions, Doubts Uncertain peace appears quietly The mask is fading away Truth is known Except to them The time will be just that Its voice fades away, Into the abyss It doesn't matter I'm already free Let it, Just Happen...

Watching, Looking The fountain captures you, Takes everything away You are nothing and everything Your whole, vacant, satisfied, thoughtful The green leaves beckon Beauty in the simplest form God's beauty The sould stirs, Melds with nature Returns enlightened and renewed It's you, Your It

Stopping to think, Every Moment, Every Juncture Overactive mind, Make it stop, Help, Go Away Distractions save you From the bad thoughts For a moment Another void fills you up with anxiety Why, Why won't it stop Go Away, Please You look upwards, Find peace for a moment Hoping it will be a long moment

The blue smoke curls up and disappears in the air Coffee steams Rain drops Everything is right in this moment A moment I fought for, lived in, knew was coming A Perfect Moment

Feeling so empty, so barren, so full, so complete, so scared Looking inside myself To find something unknown Unreal Incredible Free This is me It's incredible Beautiful, Whole, Unreachable Fighting to answer the question I can't Fighting to understand Keep fighting, Keep trying, Don't stop It will all turn out okay in the end Keep fighting...

A solitary existence Stopping to wonder It's for me, you, the world I'm here floating, experiencing, being, seeing For what, For everything My existence, life, work For everyone and only me simultaneously It's here The best time, the worst time For me, For everyone Absolute existence With no purpose and every purpose at the same time...

Small moments otherwise forgotten Come to life every day Errands become sacred We experience the normal Mundane Extraordinary moments One is inspired and captured by joy In these small moments They are sacred Ordinary, every day moments Taking nothing for granted One becomes overwhelmed by the small moments Inspiration, Family, Truth, Errands, People Ordinary little moments Glorious moments make everything right even when its wrong Incredible, ordinary ,real Momen

Memories of things that don't exist Meld together with reality What if Is it real Does he hear me I hear him What should I do Searching for wisdom In a land composed of a void The depths capture me I write What to do He hears I believe It's true...

Gazing at the moon Everything melts Dissolves into the air Becomes free from the mind It floats back in a different place then it was Nature rules my being Lifts me up into the stars, while keeping me stable Wandering Questions are unanswered, But don't require an answer They dissolve and reappear in a new light A new existence My Mind Races...

Okay, okay, okay It keeps repeating The wind blows as if to reassure you How does one know Content, Depressed, Overjoyed Okay Why can't it happen The soul waits, wonders Listening, What is it telling me Why Why not now Patience is a virtue Every day it slips through my fingers into unreachable depths At the bottom of an endless ocean Alas I must now search the depths The journey doesn't end...