New poster here, and I've been following this story for a while, and having read Ch. 10 and Cynical Romantic's post, I had to register to add in my two (or 10) cents.
First of all, I LOVED this story. The writing overall, in all chapters, was witty, catching, funny, and poignant. Aaron is a character many can relate to. All of the characters introduced in this story are...either characters I related to, or reminded me of people I have met. The action scenes were very, very well done. The internal narration was good too.
So, I LOVED this story...right up until Ch. 10.
When I finished it, it didn't feel like an 'end' to the story at all-- more like an actual beginning. I, too, felt let down, and like I was left hanging. The fact it is noted as a 'prologue' here, did soothe the pain. I think Cynical Romantic was right on the money, but to build on what they said...
With the possible exception of Mick and Jake (whose role is pretty clearly minor), the other characters only felt introduced to me-- particularly Ben.
I think that is where my issues lie.
There were passages and points that gave an insight into the others, but on the whole, the contrast between how fleshed out Aaron was and the others was pretty marked. That may be natural in a 'prologue,' and Aaron is the narrator. But when I finished the story, I felt like I had a sense of who Aaron was, and a decent sense of who Mick was (confusion about his sexuality notwithstanding), but I had no idea who Ben really was, nor the true dynamic to Ben's group of friends.
Throughout the 10 chapters, there seemed to be three possible scenarios you were setting up:
1) Ben is bad news, and through him Aaron falls into something really bad-- the drugs, alcohol, bad co-dependent psycho drama that you have alluded to... only to come to his senses or be 'saved' from that by Mick and realize Mick is THE ONE for him... and they may have some angst, but live happily ever after.
Alternatively...
2) Ben is a good guy, and turns into a real character with depth and something real. A true love develops between him and Aaron... and it's rocky at points, drama-filled, but Mick becomes truly a casualty of those 'best friends' we wish we could be in love with, but just aren't. Maybe Mick even ends up falling into the bad spiral alluded to...or just ends up happy with someone else.
Alternatively...
3) Ben turns into a real character. He is good and bad, and he and Aaron have a crazy rollercoaster, but they ultimately break up, with it concluding that Aaron realizes Mick is the ONE and those two working it out to live happily after.
All three could be very powerful stories, but right now...
Ben isn't really fleshed out to me. Not much of his background is known. I don't have a strong enough impression of him to know if he is a "good guy" or a "bad guy." I don't know if he is someone that I want Aaron to fall in love with.
I definitely like Aaron. He is a good guy, and I want him to end up happy and in love with someone good, who loves him. (yeah, I am sappy like that )
Mick is clearly a good guy. And Mick and Aaron have a history that is portrayed well. There is a depth to "them." There is an emotional connection, which comes through as very strong, even if not overtly sexual. The sexual subtext to them I saw pretty early on. But if nothing else, Mick and Aaron came through as friends, and 'friends to the end.' And that was really well done.
So, Mick would be someone I would want Aaron to 'live happily ever after' with. And vice versa.
By reverse, we the readers did not see an emotional connection between Aaron and Ben that was powerful enough to make there be something real between them.
There was a little development between Aaron and Ben, but there was not a love scene... nor a challenge that elevated what is between them to something that could be called 'love' or even a very strong emotion (apart from lust or that stupid-in-love infatuation).
So, like Cynical Romantic... that Aaron could really be in love with Ben seemed incongruous to me. If anything, the romance between them simply served as a foil for Aaron's relationship with Mick-- a catalyst to bring it to the point you ended it with: us realizing there is a lot more or potentially a lot more between Aaron and Mick.
Overall, the transition Ben made from BMAD to "Ben" (an actual person) was well done. The initial attraction was well written. The makeover that Aaron gets to get his attention was funny. The scene outside the club was good-- especially the "having a Joan Collins moment" line. The scene in the park was beautiful...and gave the beginnings of something possibly "real" between Ben and Aaron.
But again, there wasn't the emotional scene between Aaron and Ben that would make me believe Aaron really was 'in love' with Ben...or anything close to something real is between them. There wasn't a sex scene to fully put them in the honeymoon stages of a real relationship. They have said they are 'boyfriends,' and the scene in the park was good, but it still feels very much like they are strangers.
Because we know very little about Ben, it feels like Aaron knows very little about him. So, I may agree that Aaron plausibly believes himself in love with Ben... but unless stuff happened "off camera" to make it more...it didn't work for me.
FYI, unlike others I did like the scene with Ben at the coffeehouse. It revealed or at least hinted that there IS more to Ben and his coterie than just pretty club goers. It was emotionally engaging for me as a reader and helped give Ben some indication of being a person that I would possibly want the protagonist to 'love' and being real enough to love.
Anyway, I am wondering if my reactions are what you deliberately wanted the readers to feel?
Also, the "twist" with Mick being in love in Aaron was something I saw early on... but the reaction Aaron had to it... mmm... well, my reaction to that was mixed.
Maybe I am looking at it through the eyes of someone about 30, because I can remember that "stupid in love" feeling, but am old enough to know the difference between "love" and "infatuation."
But with Mick and Aaron, I sense love. Real love. In fact, I kind of wanted to shake Aaron being too blind or too emo to realize the greatness that Mick and he really are... and going for that.
Is that how I was supposed to feel?
Once I got over my "ack! what do you mean that is the end?!!?" I do wonder...where is it going to go?
I really want to know.
Why is Mick so torn up? Who is Ben? What is the story behind his friends? Who will Aaron end up with? Will it be a happy ending (God I hope so) or a tragic one?
Because I am asking those questions, you've sucked me into the story. I care about the characters. I want to know more. It was incredibly good writing, and it engaged me.
But a 'prologue,' is I think the right word for the story as it stands now.
I do apologize for babbling, but... it is a great story. Please don't leave me hanging! And thank you for writing it.
