StoriesByCirrus

It feels like I’ve spent about a week writing this and re-writing this and adding to it and changing it. But eventually you just have to get it out there. You may see this cross-posted in a few different places. Just trying to reach out to different audiences. Words for Comicality It seems only a few weeks ago that I learned Comsie was going through such serious health issues. And now, just like that, he’s gone. It’s dreadfully unfair that he was taken from us with so much unfinished business. On NIfty, a site he contributed stories to for 26 years, his departure is marked by the message “Author Comicality passed away”. That’s it? That’s all after the hundreds of thousands of words he wrote? Comicality deserves more words remembering him. Hundreds of words. Thousands of words. All of the words. And I can’t write all the words he deserves, but I’m going to give my best effort at writing some of them. I first stumbled across Comsie in 1997 or 1998? I can’t remember the exact date, but I started reading “New Kid in School” from the very first chapter. Then he started the website and got an email address and I reached out to him to say how much I liked the stories. The internet was a different place then. Everything seemed hand-made in Times New Roman, Facebook, Google and Amazon and their algorithms hadn’t taken over the internet, and communities were finding each other for the first time around topics like how hot teenage boys were. I kept emailing him on and off ever since then. People you only know online tend to flitter in and out of your life - closest confidant one minute, vanished into the ether the next. But for over 25 years, Comsie was a constant. He’s the friend I’ve known the longest that I never ever met. Because I wrote to him so occasionally, I would write these long, rambling emails with many, many questions. And Comsie being Comsie, he would feel like he would owe me a decent reply, so sometimes it took weeks or even months for him to respond. They were always worth it though - my long emails sometimes got even longer replies. Comsie was the exception to most of the authors you’d find on Nifty or Gay Authors or elsewhere. Through his forums and emails, he put so much of his own life out there, the good parts and the bad. Being so open brought on a lot of hate mail. I’m not sure how he put up with it year after year. He shared parts of his difficult childhood, the constant money worries of being a retail employee, his love for Chicago. I’m sad he never made it back there, but glad he was surrounded by family at the end. You felt like you knew him, but maybe that’s the illusion on online-only friendships, where you only know the parts of someone’s life they share with you. Despite being so open about some parts of his life, he guarded his privacy zealously in others. In over 25 years of emails, he never shared a picture of himself with me. I visited Chicago a couple of times (he had numerous suggestions on where to visit, and was very amused by my attempt to eat a whole Chicago deep dish pizza by myself) but we never met up. Maybe it’s better that way: the Comsie in my head will probably be forever in his early 20s, the age at which we first started talking. The Comicality writing process could be maddening as a reader. He never liked to focus on just one story at a time. I think he wrote chapters about whichever characters were interesting to him at the time. And he always had ideas for new stories. It seemed like for every story he brought to a final conclusion, he would start four more. And some of his series had epically long hiatuses between updates (“Taryn’s Song” had a SEVEN YEAR gap between chapters at one point). I used to joke that he never wanted to finish a series because he never wanted to say goodbye to the characters he created. Now my Comicality thoughts will be filled with questions that will never be answered. What was going to happen at the party and would Brandon and Billy ever get back together in “Billy Chase”? Would Artie and Scotty start talking to each other in “Jesse-101”? How was Eric and Dustin’s story going to end in “Untouchable”? Would Justin fulfil his vampire prophecy in “Gone From Daylight”? And how did Taryn and Alec get separated in “Taryn’s Song”? I’m sure everyone has their favourite Comicality storyline that they wanted to see resolved. It seems somehow appropriate that Comsie’s legacy will be dozens of dangling plotlines. Even “New Kid in School”, the story that started it all, was still unfinished after 27 years. If there’s one story I’m glad Comsie did finish, it was “My Only Escape”. It’s the most deeply personal story Comsie’s ever written, built on memories from a very dark part of his life. Being able to write from his real lived experience gave the story a reality and rawness I could never emulate on that subject. From the first chapter to the last, it took him 21 years to finish. It was sexy and heart-wrenching and moving. I’d urge everyone to read it again - even just the very last chapter. I was in literal tears during Zack’s conversation with Mr Raffe. It wasn’t just a conversation between Zack and his teacher - it was conversation between Comsie and all the people both real and in his head that told him his stories weren’t good enough. Out of all his stories, I’m glad his readers got to see that one in its full, final, finished form. Did you know at one point the early chapters were adapted for Australian radio? Wild to think about. Comsie did soooo much in his online life. It wasn’t just the stories. It was the website, the forums, “Imagine Magazine”, the advice to other authors, the advice to people young and old going through tough times, the YouTube channel, the gallery. I have no idea where he found the time, and the volume of work probably didn’t get nearly the appreciation it deserved. He motivated me to write my own stories and share them (although very carefully). My major interactions with him over the last year revolved around submitting the chapters of “Dear Ronan” to “Imagine Magazine”. I told him I was holding the story hostage, and wouldn’t let him see the finished complete product until he published chapter 450 of “Billy Chase”. He laughed at my threats and happily ignored them. He deserved better. He deserved longer. He deserved the time to finish all of the stories he started. I think I’ll always have regrets that I didn’t write to him more, that I didn’t tell him everything I liked about his stories at every opportunity. I always wanted him to stretch himself, to challenge himself to be a better writer because he had that talent in him. I teased him about some of his tendencies as an author: like starting every new story with a three paragraph inner monologue from the protagonist, or his fondness for “wise sage” characters who dispense advice in long soliloquies. Like perhaps most authors, he remembered every negative thing I ever said about his stories. But I hope he remembered all the positive things I said too… like how much I like Ariel’s “voice”, or how hot the game of footsie on the couch in “Sneak Away” was, or how moving I found the conclusion to “My Only Escape”. I’m not sure I believe in an afterlife, but I’d like to believe in one for Comsie…. Something like “The Good Place”, where he has all the time in the world to finish all the stories he started, preferably with a cute speedo-clad teenager (or three!) by his side. And then when he finally puts his pen down for the last time, he could return to the universe with a sense of mission accomplished.

Just a short note for now, although I'm working on the longer words that Comsie deserves. The news is just devastating. He deserved longer. If someone is organising a memorial issue of "Imagine Magazine", count me in as a contributor. (I actually have a very old story in the vault that would work). I kind of picture a combination of stories and personal statements about what Comsie meant to us. I know the question of what to do about Comsie's unfinished stories in a sensitive one. Only my two cents: leaving them unfinished would be the most appropriate legacy of Com's writing career. We all know he would start like four new stories for every one he actually brought to a final conclusion. I used to joke with him that he hated finishing stories because he never wanted to say goodbye to the characters he created. If there is afterlife, he'll probably be busy trying to complete them all.

Yay!!!! Comsie read my story!!! And he liked it!!!! Happy dance! Happy dance! Maybe I should write a really bad story now, just so you can get some payback for all the... errr... constructive comments I've made over the years. You write really good reviews you know that? You take the time to say what you like about the story, but you also mention the things you think could be improved. I appreciated that. Responding to some of your specific comments: 1) Heh, if I complain about you overusing exclamation marks, I think you're more than entitled to complain about me overusing parentheses. I'll have to look over the story again - it might be one of those habits that crept insidiously into my writing. 2). Dialogue versus narrative. Get your point - I'll have to read through the story again looking out for that to see if I feel it would make sense in the circumstances. I suspect this is one of those situations where we're attacking the story from the oppsosite ends of the style spectrum... you like to take the time to illustrate every emotion and inner thought of the characters, I focus first on keeping the story moving forward. We probably end up in more or less the same place, just begin from different starting points. 3). Yep, I understand where you're coming from. Sounding like a broken record - I'll have to read it again to see where it pops up. I think its a fine line picking the appropriate term... too "uncouth" and it reads like a cheap porno... get too elaborate with your euphemisms and it reads like... well a different sort of cheap porno. (I remember reading a few pages of some porn book where it was all about putting his inflating mushroom into her crimson flower... a dozen similar analogies and three pages later...).

I could believe that for Connor aka IndyBoi, but I never got the feeling that Woody wanted to perform for the whole chat room, just IndyBoi. I found it odd that Woody never even tried to say to IndyBoi "hey, i'll get on the cam for you, but I don't want to do it front of everyone". For the story to work, IndyBoi might have had to talk Woody into giving a public show, or explaining some technical reason why they couldn't cam in private. It's not that I can't believe a teenager would strip off in front of strangers in front of a webcam, but I find it harder to believe for the character Ronyx created. Woody wasn't looking for attention in general (which I suspect motivates a lot of teens - lots of people saying "hey, you're hot!"), but rather attention specifically from IndyBoi. I was also concerned about the direction the story was taking with Mr Dewberry's advances - I was kind of afraid that Woody was going to let himself get trapped by the situation without realising he had more power in his hands to stop Dewberry and Brandon than he realised. I was glad to see that Woody took exactly the right action and the "villains" were appropriately punished. I was relieved the story had a "happy" ending, even if the triumph wasn't without its costs. So apart from the minor nitpicking, I enjoyed the story overall.

Oooh, I've been following this story on Nifty. Didn't realise there were later chapters available elsewhere. Will have to take a look. I've mostly enjoyed the story, except a couple of crucial plot points revolve around Woody being kind of dumb - eg camming publicly in the chat room when it would have made more sense for him to cam privately with IndyBoi via Skype, Instant Messenger or a dozen other ways. I'm also enjoying "The Move". Another final recommendation for a good story in progress "Everything will be alright", which is in the Young Friends section on NIfty.

*** spoilers ahoy *** I found this story problematic. I think one of the basic problems was that you introduced a lot of ideas and even scenes which didn't go anywhere, or contribute to the central storyline. This ended up diluting the central storyline to the point where it was almost obscured, and it was hard to tell what the point of the story was supposed to be. You mention the class difference between the "forms" - but that never really turns into anything. You have scenes with Jesse and Marcus which seem like they should be important later on - but then the characters never appear in the story again. The balance between exposition and action seemed a bit out of whack - the story didn't feel like it "flowed". Some of the back-and-forth dialogue went on longer than it had to. You kind of have to get in, say what you need to, and get out. As a protagonist, Eric was more of a passive observer to the plot rather than making it happen. He didn't make a choice about what happened to him, or what happened to Eric. I was intrigued by the developing relationship between Eric and Calvin, but then you cut it off before it went anywhere. I got the feeling that this was a story you intended to be much longer, then you changed your mind and suddenly decided to try and end it as quickly as possible. I think there is potential for a good story with those characters in that setting, but you might have to get back to basics: Identify the central plot, then make sure everything in the story serves that plot and propels it forward.

Sad endings *can* work, and when done well they can be incredibly effective. But there is a whole range of "negative" endings, and most of the ones I can think of retain at least a glimmer of hope and optimism to balance out the darkness. Here are a batch of examples I can think of: "Titanic" the movie - Here you have the classic love story tearjerker. Jack and Rose discover they love each, and then they get torn apart forever. Jack dies, but there are subtle suggestions that Rose went on to lead a long and happy life after that. "His Dark Materials" (trilogy) - A variation on the set-up above. Will and Lyra almost literally go to hell and back to be together. In the process of they fall in love (and its quite a beautiful depiction of two teenagers falling in love for the first time), then discover that for all intents and purposes, that saving the world means never seeing each other again. I'd call this a "bittersweet" ending - the good guys win, but the price is heartbreaking. "The Bartimaeus Cycle" (trilogy) - This is a "hero sacrifices himself to save the world" ending, so it might not quite count for Comsie's purposes, but it feels "right" in the context of the story. The hero of the story Nathaniel, is basically good, but also ambitious, arrogant, frequently selfish, and not always the most likable person in the books. The most notable thing about his sacrifice and the end of "Ptolemy's Gate" is not the world-saving, but its almost his first completely selfless act. His sacrifice allows Bartimaeus the demon to live. The "Chaos Walking Trilogy" - Both the "Knife of Never Letting Go" and "The Ask and the Answer" end with what I would call the "defeat snatched from the jaws of victory" ending. In the first book Tod and Viola go on the road to escape Mayor Prentiss and his murderous army. Just when they think they've reached the safety of the town of Haven, they find that the Mayor has beaten them there and taken over the town. In the second book, Tod defeats the Mayor, only to be forced to make a deal to assist him when an army of the native Spackle advance on Haven. "Monsters of Men" simply has one of the most gut-wrenching second to last chapters of any book I've ever read. The less said, the better. It's harder to find examples of stories which end in absolute defeat for the heroes (and still remain vaguely satisfying). "The Passage" takes what seems to be a happy ending, then completely undermines it with a very depressing epilogue.

There are two elements really: creating the mythology itself, then how you introduce that mythology to the readers. When it comes to the second element, there are good ways to do it, and bad. I think the most effective way is when the mythology (or "back story" if you like) is introduced gradually, and always in context of the story. George RR Martin's "Song of Ice and Fire" series is one of my favourite series of novels (of any genre). Like a lot of multi-book fantasy stories, its got a *lot* of back story (more than most actually). But the information gets doled in little bits at a time, and Martin never lets explaining the mythology distract from the story that's being told in the present. Neal Stephenson's "Anathem" adopts the complete opposite approach. Before you've even read the first chapter, there is a long timeline detailing 10,000 odd years of history of the world that Stephenson has imagined. You read the whole thing because hey, its probably important. Only after finishing the book do you realise that absolutely nothing in the timeline was essential to understanding the story, and you could have skipped over it completely. Everyone seems to be going gaga over a novel called "The Passage" this year, and I just found it annoying. It felt like there would be two pages of plot, then three pages of flashback, as the complete life histories of characters were detailed - characters who were ultimately only supporting members of the cast, and dead by the time the lengthy prologue ended. So my advice when introducing the mythology of your world to your readers: start small and build from there. Focus on the world as it affects your characters first, then widen the scope. And never let the world building distract you from telling a compelling story.

*hides*.

For me "compromise" does not equate with "sell out". I don't see my "artistic vision" as some rigid, inflexible thing, incapable of changing in any way. I have something to say, but there are a million different ways to say it. I'm pretty sure I could find one that would satisfy both me... and my publisher. I'm a big customer of the "young adult" section in the bookstore. Blow-by-blow, graphic descriptions of sex might be out... but you might be surprised what you can get away with even writing about teenagers these days. And just because sex isn't portrayed "on the page" doesn't mean that a book can't be sexy. "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" (the book) fairly seems with the sexual attraction between the two protagonists - even though they almost, but don't quite actually have sex. Ironically, the movie (in which Nick and Norah *do* have sex) doesn't have a fraction of the chemistry between the two characters. It's just boring. And why would I compromise to get published, when I could put my work on the internet with no one editing it by myself? For money. For respect (because getting through the gatekeeping process of the publishing industry gives you a bit of respect, whether or not your writing ability deserves it). To reach a wider audience. Because while the *potential* audience on the internet is in the hundreds of millions, I imagine the *actual* audience for the writers here is more like in the thousands. Being out there, on the bookshop shelves, exposes your work to an audience that might not necessarily hunt it down on the internet. And I'd like to see a book I had written on my own bookshelf. I've been bugging Comsie for *years* to quit stalling already and try to get published. And for years he's been fobbing me with off with bullshit excuses. "Oh I don't want my name to be out there!" "Oh I couldn't compromise my vision!" "Oh I couldn't work with an editor who might suggest I MAKE CHANGES TO WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN!". I don't buy into the myth of the starving artist at all. I've told Comicality before, and I'll tell him again: You are talented enough to be published. And you are talented enough to write a publishable book if you put your mind to it. The only thing stopping you is you. /endrant

Agincourt saved me from having to do any kind of summary of the plot. I'm a sucker for both sports stories and love stories, so "When I see you again" was right in my wheelhouse. I think the best adjective to describe this story is "sweet". Even though the characters have their ups and downs, you always get the feeling that things will work out alright in the end. The story has a certain innocence to it. Even though Grady says he starts thinking all sorts of illicit thoughts about the boys he encounters in Williamsport, he doesn't elaborate on the details. The action in the story doesn't get much further than hand-holding and cuddling and the occasional kiss on the cheek - and that's fine by me. The emphasis on the story is squarely on Grady's relationships with his teammates, with Brennan, with David, and with Tom, and discovering things about yourself you weren't aware of before and what they might mean for the future. My only criticism (and Com probably won't believe me when I say that ) is that I think LittleBuddha might have ended it differently if he realised he wasn't going to get around to writing Part 2. It's been two years since this story was finished, so I'm not holding my breath for the next series of chapters. The final chapter left things somewhat open ended, with a suggestion of where things might develop once Grady, Brennan and Tom returned home that I would have been interested in reading. It felt a bit like a television series that gets cancelled before the writers have a chance to tie up all the loose ends

Post links! Either in the schedule, or the threads for each individual story, but somewhere. There seems to be an assumption that participants in the book club will automatically know where to find each story, and that just ain't the case.

I'm reasonably sure that "everytime" is never written as one word. The other examples you give can be written as one word (and the forum's built in spell checker agrees with me). "We'll see him again someday soon." "You never come round anymore." "Let's go someplace else."

In fiction, "hotness" isn't determined by the reader, it's determined by the reaction of other characters. If Character A finds Character B attractive, then Character B is "hot" whether the reader would agree that he's hot or not. If you leave descriptions vague, then the reader will fill in the blanks on their own (and probably make the character more attractive in the process). And "personality" is complete independent of "beauty". Even ugly characters can be interesting to read about. How many of your stories Com involve protagonists who think that they're average, unworthy, unlovable? But they're attractive anyway because the really cute boy they've been lusting after likes them back. Instant cuteness upgrade! But maybe you want to write a story where boy-doesn't-meet-boy. Realistic? Yes, but you might have to work harder to resolve the story in a way that satisfies the reader. (The hero might not get the boy, but I think the readers would prefer he finished happier than when he started).

The short answer I think is "instinct". This is one of the places where the "art" aspect of writing comes in, where you have to make subjective decisions about whether something needs editing, and whether its been edited enough. Sometimes the potential audience is a influential factor. When writing stories for Comicality's library, I assume my readers will prefer chapters to be "finished" rather than "perfect". I'm writing a story for a contest at the moment, and that one I do desperately want to be as perfect as I can get it. In that situation, editing is a nice escape route. I can bulldoze my way through the story itself, even if I'm not completely satisfied with the way its going at the time, knowing that if I finish it quickly, I'll have lots of time to buff it and polish it to a high sheen. Sometimes stories are easier to manipulate once they've been committed to the page, instead of existing solely in your head.