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18,418 Almost Divine

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    Bisexual, leaning male
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  1. A new chapter of the 'remixed' version of "If Only In My Dreams" is up tonight. So give it a look. Let me know what you think. https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/if-only-in-my-dreams-remixed/
  2. "If Only In My Dreams (Remixed) 2" Kissing him... That was all I could think about as I sat in the back seat of my dad's car with him by my side. Steven was just to the left of me, and I kept trying to restrain myself from gawking at him like some kind of brain dead fangirl the entire time...but...awwww, LOOK at him! He's so beautiful! I keep trying to detach from his bewitching appearance, seeing as it's all that he has to offer me right now. A shameful jack off fantasy at best in the privacy of my bedroom with the lights off. But...my heart! Why does my weary heart always have to find a way to get tangled up in this mess. Why can't I just think that he's nothing more than a really HOT boy and move on with the rest of my life? What is it about him that keeps 'calling' to me the way it does? I looked over at him again, still amazed that he was sitting so close to me that I could practically lean over and lick the cool rain water dripping down from his hair and sliding down the sensual curve of his neck. It was hard being this close to him, knowing that he was sooooo out of reach. But what was I going to do? Harass him until his feelings changed? Make him feel guilty? Hypnotize him or work some kind of voodoo love spell on him and use it to my advantage? Even if I ultimately got what I wanted in the long run...would it really be love? Would it matter, or have the same rewarding effect? I don't want to make him feel something for me, I wanted it to be genuine. I needed it to be real. And voluntary. And...you know...special. Why am I like this? A lesser man would have slipped pills into his cocoa and touched him while he was asleep. Oh God...I can't believe something like that even crossed my mind right now. I'm so despicable. Steven was looking down at his phone, still trying to get it to work, but I'm pretty sure that it was all out of juice. One less excuse that he could use to not look at or talk to me. I got a little bit excited when he leaned forward in his seat to talk to my dad. I don't know...the way he moves sometimes gives me chills. "Mr. Pacer? You wouldn't happen to have a phone charger cord for the car, would you?" He asked. God, he's so cute. Ugh! STOP saying that!!! You're only making things worse for yourself! "Sorry, Steven. I only carry one to plug in the wall." My dad answered. "Don't worry, though. We're only ten minutes away from the house. We'll get you set up, k? It won't be long." "Ok." He said, slightly disappointed. "Thanks." Steven's eyes glanced over at me briefly...and then he just turned his head to watch the rain pelting the car window as he watched the suburban landscape scroll by. I know it's impolite to stare...but it really is hard not to. The little details that I notice about him always seem to keep me mesmerized for much longer than I think is healthy. Like...the way his lips are such a unique shade of pink, highlighted by the porcelain pale contrast of the skin surrounding them. Or how the shape of his eyes were just so inviting, the bright brown orbs within glowing with a smoldering fire that inflamed the soul the moment they made contact with your own. Or, like...how the perfectly trimmed strands of his hair would lightly 'kiss' the tops of his ears, making me wish that I could do the same if only I could get away with it. Steven caught me gawking at him, and I quickly diverted my eyes away from him, staring at the armrest between the two front seats. I wasn't trying to be a creep, I just...wanted to truly appreciate the moment that I got to spend examining him from this angle. This close. I swear, I could almost smell the traces of his boyish sweat from basketball practice...an aroma of heat and athletic effort...mixed with a genuine scent of passion and purpose. It turned me on like you wouldn't believe...causing me to move my backpack further into my lap to keep from getting hard. Or...at least to keep him from seeing it. God, I'm such a hopeless perv. I heard Steven sigh to himself as he looked out the window. He's cute when he sighs... He ran his fingers through his silky brown locks of hair, and wiped his wet hands on his shirt. And sure, his shirt was just as wet as his hand was, if not more so. But... He's cute when he does that too... And that's when I felt that stupid gooey feeling in my insides, trying to force me to talk to him again. Nothing major. No big confessions of love, no thought provoking philosophies or inspirational diatribes. Just...something to get him to acknowledge my existence. That's all I wanted. A little hint to say, 'I don't hate you Jeremy.' I think that would lift my spirit in ways that he couldn't even imagine. There's no way that he could fathom how much a few words from him would mean to me if he were to grant me the blessing of having them spoken in my direction. It would be a religious experience for me. It really would. Just...I'm so scared to approach the unapproachable. Because, while every kind word that he could possibly say to me would toss me up into an orbit of total bliss... Every rejection could slam me right back down into the dirt. And there are times when I seriously wonder if I'd be able to survive the impact of it. Or if I'd even want to. I was behaving myself for a good two minutes or so...but my eyes gravitated back over to Steven's super cute face again, and I saw his eyeballs move to look back at me. "What?" He asked. "Huh?" I said, trying to catch my breath as quickly as I could. "Oh...nothing. I was just...I was...it was nothing. Whatever." I said, trying to be convincing in my attempt to shrug it off. "Well...fine. Whatever." Steven said. And he went back to looking out the window again. Great. What the fuck did I do NOW??? I didn't even say anything until he asked me what it was that I never said in the first place. Fine. You know what? I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of having this level of control over me. I'm just going to keep my trap shut and let him suffer. I mean, my phone still has power, but he can't call his mom because he doesn't know the number by heart. I guess that's the downside of not using the brain power it takes to memorize these things instead of having everything available at the tap of a digital button all the time. Why do I even bother with this jerk? He's still...super cute though. Just saying. I couldn't get out of that car fast enough when we made it back home. Rain or no rain, I just wanted to put some distance between me and Steven for a while. I didn't even want to try talking to him anymore. I know when I've been beaten, and I think my broken heart has taken its fair share of punishment for the day. I helped my dad take his papers in the house and didn't both to look back as Steven came following up behind me. I put the papers on the kitchen table and my dad told us to stay right where we were for a moment. Then he came back with a couple of big fluffy bathroom towels for us to dry off with. At first I was just trying to get dry again as I kicked off my shoes...but mentally kicked myself for having it cross my mind that I might want to save the one Steven was using at that moment. Rubbing it all over his face, and in his hair...and I saw him gently mopping up some of the excess rainwater from his neck. I shouldn't do it. He's been nothing but mean to me since he got in that car. Dismissive at best. I shouldn't care. I don't care. I refuse to care. That's right. I REFUSE! "Alright, boys. Just toss those over to me and I throw them in the wash for later." My dad said. "I'll take care of it!" I said in a sudden outburst. "I mean, I'm doing laundry tonight anyway, so..." I hope that didn't sound as awkward to everybody else as it sounded to myself. Steven handed me his towel, still slightly damp from his wet skin and addictive boy scent...and I carried both of them into my room to put in my laundry hamper. Ok, I know that I was being creepy about it,but when you're as love starved as I am when it comes to the one boy in the world who really inspires this kind of emotional hunger within me...I'll take whatever little scraps I can get. I just...I took a second to hold his towel up to my face and just...inhale. Maybe I was imagining some kind of hidden fragrance being trapped in the soft material of the towel, but as I closed my eyes and breathed deeply...it was almost as if I was intoxicated by the thrill of it all. I hid the towel under my blankets and walked back out to see Steven kneeling on the living room floor, his pretty little ass stuck out as he searched for an outlet to plug his charger into. I noticed that he was barefoot too, his cute little toes curled up, smooth heels, sexy little arch between the two. His jeans were a shade darker around the cuffs from the rain, and as he leaned forward a bit more towards the plug, I could see the top of his black boxer briefs stretching out a bit more, those deliciously round globes of his tempting me in ways that just came off as an act of utter cruelty. I moved over to the couch to sit down before my stiffening erection became any more visible. He really has a cute butt, you know that? One of the cutest I think I've ever seen. It was one of those perfect rear ends that'd you'd gladly kiss and take a playful bite out of if he let you do it. Why is it always the beautiful ones that hurt your heart the most? Honestly, I just sort of watched it wiggle slightly as he was on all fours, reaching for the outlet...the material stretched thin across his cheeks. I just wanted to get down behind him, and slide my hand between his legs from behind and just...rub him down there. Hold his hardness in my hand while I licked the small of his back, and listened for him to whisper my name in a breathy tone. I wish I didn't want him so badly...but I did. I thought about sliding my palm underneath him, hearing him try to stifle his sensuous moans, even when I could clearly feel how hard he was. Sooooo hard. And when neither one of us could take anymore teasing, I'd lay down on my back and slide between his splayed legs, so he could stick his boner in my mouth and hump my face while I struggled to take as much of it as I possibly could. Gripping that firm, tight, ass with both hands until he baptized my tastebuds with heavy squirts of warm, sticky, seed...his quivering body above me, ass muscles flexing, eyes shut, mouth agape in a silent scream...my own arousal overwhelming me until I came buckets in my pants from the sheer pleasure of... ...Oh shit! He's scooting back now! Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Cross your legs or something! Gahhh!!! My dad walked into the room and asked, "Did you find the outlet?" "Yeah, I found it. Thanks, Mr. Pacer. I'm sure it won't take long to get enough battery power for one phone call." Steven said. "Ok, well, take your time. Make sure to let your mom know where you are, and if you need a ride to the hospital to get your key, I'll be happy to take you. Alright?" "Yes, sir." Steven said politely. His voice is really cute too...you know...when he's actually being nice for a change. "Good. Well, you boys just relax for a bit. Call me if you need me. I've got a heavy load of work to do in my study before school tomorrow." He told us, and we agreed to...'behave', I guess. Then he walked away to actually leave us alone in the same room for a while. Alone. With Steven. In my house. Realistic, or even optimistic, ideas aside...a part of me was really freaking out about this. But I didn't want my nervous expression to show on my face. So I turned on the TV to find a bit of a distraction. Surprisingly, Steven came to sit next to me on the couch. Well...maybe not right next to me...he sat on the other end of it. But there was only one cushion between us on a three cushioned couch. And, you know...it was kind of cool. I didn't say anything to him, for fear of ruining the moment...but I just kind of sat there and watched TV with Steven sitting beside me, sort of 'pretending' that we were close friends for a few fleeting moments in time. Like, fantasizing about what it must be like for other boys to be this close to him and have him not mind it so much. Just two buddies...hanging out...having fun. I mean, sure, I would love for my little fantasy to end with me on top of him, and erotically thrusting myself into that extremely tight hole of his while he tongue kissed me like crazy and wrapped his sexy legs around my waist, desperately begging me to go deeper. But...why get greedy? You know? He doesn't totally loathe the ground that I walk on right now, and that's enough for me at this point. I can appreciate that and enjoy his company without spoiling it with...you know...casual conversation or anything. Now...it's sort of my default setting to come home and turn to 'Rick And Morty' to sort of relax from whatever might have happened to me that day in school. Call it a naughty, not-so-guilty pleasure of mine. A little crass and violent comedy animation can't help but to make you feel good about life, no matter what you've been through. I don't know is Steven likes 'Rick And Morty' or not, but does it really matter? He's barely paying me any attention anyway, and I need my stress reliever. It was halfway through the episode, and I just turned up the volume and started watching. Hehehe, I LOVE this episode! Cracks me up every time. I think after the first few minutes of watching it, Steven got up to walk over and check the battery power on his phone again. I hate myself for staring at his ass again, but I did it anyway. Because...sighhhh...whatever. It's not his fault. He can't help being hot. Then he sat back down on the couch when the phone didn't seem to be charged enough, and I went back to watching the show. It wasn't until I started sneaking little peeks at his sexy boy profile that I noticed a bit of a smirk on his face. I mean, he was probably trying to hold it back at the time, but after a few more seconds...he began to snicker to himself. I couldn't believe how quickly an entire army of goosebumps were suddenly rising up on my skin. I started to rub my arms as this unbelievable wave of warm, giddy, chills ran through me. I peeked over at him again, and those kissably cute lips of his were actually smiling! Like...SMILING! And I nearly fainted when I heard him laugh out loud! Omigod...Steven has the cutest laugh ever! It made me giggle out loud to myself too, and we sort of looked at each other for a moment before redirecting our attention back to the TV again. DON'T force it, Jeremy! This is about as close as we've ever been to sharing a legitimate 'moment' with the cutest boy in school! Be smart about this. Just let it happen. Omigod, he looks so hot when he's laughing! We continued watching, and as things got increasingly silly, Steven seemed to loosen up a bit more. And then he SPOKE! Like...to ME! What the hell is happening here? "Is that Tony Toni Tone? What the...? Why are they playing...oh snap! She just cut that guy's HEAD off! Hahaha! What is going on?" Bravely, I said, "Hehehe, keep watching. It gets worse..." "Suck my what??? Omigod! Wait...wait...hahaha!" He said, and Steven just folded his arms around his stomach and actually had a really good laugh over what was taking place on that TV screen. "They're...hahaha...they're dancing in a giant puddle of blood! What???" As much as I loved watching Steven play basketball in a pair of skimpy gym shorts, or standing in the rain while wearing a soaking wet T-shirt, or sneaking peeks at his beautiful ass as he went poking around under a table to find an electrical outlet...I don't think anything made me as unbelievably HARD in my pants as seeing him laugh and just...enjoy himself. It was something that I hadn't really been a part of before when it came to having him anywhere near me. It was the most adorable thing that I've ever bared witness to...and my heart began beating so hard and fast that I was afraid it was going to break down and stop beating completely. Then again...if I died right here...right now...it might actually be worth it. It wasn't until the episode was over and went to commercial that I realized that I was staring at Steven with a fixation that would probably send most people running for the hills if it was ever guided in their direction. But, when he looked back at me this time...he didn't seem so...'disgusted'. I don't know. Maybe it was just a lingering smirk from laughing at the cartoon, but it almost felt 'friendly' in its presentation. Excuse me for overhyping the whole experience, but it's really not something that I'm used to. "Say, do you have anything to snack on?" He asked, nearly causing me to gasp. I almost looked behind me to see if my dad was standing there, or maybe somebody else entirely. Was he really talking to me? Steven doesn't talk to me. He usually offers up just enough words to get me to stay the hell away from him and nothing else. "Ummm...well..." I had to clear my throat. Emotion was clogging it up something awful. "...I've got some, uhhh...some chips. Maybe some Doritos. My dad's not big on keeping sweets in the house, so..." "That sounds cool." He said. "Cool..." I whispered. And he suddenly looked away from me again. What happened? What did I do? Was I being too forward? Did I ruin our moment? FUCK!!! "I'll...I'll grab us some chips. Ok?" "K..." He said. And just as I got up to go in the kitchen, I saw Steven standing up to check his phone again. Sigh...I probably messed things up. I don't know how, but I'm sure that I'll agonize over it later. For now, I'll just get him a snack and enjoy having him breathe the same air as me for a little while longer. I doubt it'll ever happen again after today. And yes...that really happened on a cartoon! LOL!
  3. Things are ok here. But I got a call from some of my friends back home, and the pandemic has hit Chicago pretty hard. I just found out that three of my classmates have now died from the infection. One of them leaving behind three children. And my best friend's father has also tested positive for Covid-19, but he appears to be asymptomatic at the moment. But of course, there's a two or three week waiting period to see if any symptoms show up. Which is kinda stressful. Anyway, it's just kind of messing with my head right now. I just want to step back for a few hours and make some phone calls tonight to send my condolences. I'll be back early tomorrow morning though. K? Just...wow... This is so unreal.
  4. Just EMAIL me! Comicality@shackoutback.net It's faster!
  5. What the...???????? 😠 Wait a minute!!! Who is THAT bitch??? 😮 Did I not lay claim on my sweetheart over a year ago? No no no no no no! This can't happen! No! Stay away! Cool song though! But, yeah...you stay on quarantine! Come on, Ruel...let's spend some time in the pool. Grumbles...making songs with random girls...SHAME on you! MINE!!! Hehehe!
  6. Hehehe, you know, one thing about the quarantine...I think I'm kinda digging the longer hair on some of my favorite cuties! Hehehe! What? It's kinda hot...just saying! See? Before... And after...look at those lovely curls! ::Melts::
  7. The new chapters and posts continue with some new adventures in the life of our favorite online celebrity! So check it out when you get a chance, and let me know what you think! ((Hugz)) Take care! https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/jessie-101onlinecelebrity/
  8. "Jesse-101" Online Celebrity Chapter Thirty Three: "Boy Meets Boy Meets Boy" Artie walked into Jessie's house ahead of me, leaving a very brief moment for Jesse's eyes to meet mine in the most flirtatious way imaginable. I couldn't help but smile and almost giggle out loud when we made contact. He lightly reached out to touch my hand, but only for a second or two before Scotty was able to turn around and catch us. I mean, it did feel good to see Jesse again, and even more so to be able to have some level of physical contact with him...but it was important for us to put a muzzle on that for right now so we could take care of the plan at hand. Still...I'd be lying if I said that little touch of my hand didn't give me an instant thrill. He's just...he's so damn fascinating to me! Scotty turned around and we attempted to stop smiling at one another. Because Scotty still had a suspicious look on his face. It was obvious that his focus had sharpened itself since seeing Jesse answer that door. He didn't seem hurt or anything...just suspicious. Jesse closed the front door behind us and said, "Well, my room is over that way. I was just watching this animated series about cyborgs fighting these vampire monsters in the streets. You've gotta check it out! C'mon!" Jesse led the way, and Scotty sort of looked at me again before following along. Suddenly, he had become so hard to read. We went from treats and bus rides to him looking at me as if I had...'betrayed' him somehow. I don't know, maybe in a way, I did. But I wasn't trying to bruise his golden heart, I actually had good intentions for him this time around. And Scotty's really the pure definition of a thirteen year old sweetheart, and anybody would be lucky to have his attention. I'm just...I'm not that guy. Maybe if I was a year or two younger...but...Jesse was everything that I ever wanted in a boyfriend and more. I'm in love. I can't help it. It just sort of...happened, you know? Besides, how was I supposed to know that Scotty had seen, or might even be a fan, of 'Jesse-101'? Hundreds of thousands of gay teen Youtubers out there in the world...super popular and famous ones...and Scotty had to find Jesse and Artie's channel out of all of them. I mean, it's not like they're the first ones to come popping up in the Youtube search algorithm unless you were searching for them specifically. Not unless you spend hours, days, or even weeks, trying to comb through them all. Even I just happened to stumble upon Jesse's channel by mistake, and that's only because it was a reaction to a viciously viral video published by somebody else. This is definitely throwing a monkey wrench into the gears right now, but if we stay focused and just 'wing it'...we might be able to still steer this afternoon towards a happy ending. I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed for now. Jesse's room was super clean as usual. Definitely much cleaner than I keep my own at home, but then again, my bedroom doesn't double as a recording studio for an online audience for thousands of people. So I guess I can understand why it's like that. Scotty sort of looked around for a place to sit, and Jesse offered him the chair at his desk. I noticed that Scotty was being unusually quiet at the moment. Partially from a touch of shyness in front of a stranger, but mostly because he still seemed to be trying to figure out what this was all about. I was trying to think of something to distract his worrisome emotions long enough to get Artie over here so they could meet while his charm and wit was still fully in tact. But I couldn't really think of anything. And when I sat on the foot of Jesse's bed like I normally did whenever I came over, Scotty quickly stood up and came over to sit next to me. Almost as if to 'claim' me for his very own in front of Jesse. The two of them made eye contact, and Jesse kind of shrugged it off, and attempted to lighten the mood. "Say, I went out and got some snacks this morning. You guys want anything?" "No, thank you." Scotty said. "I could use a nibble or two." I smiled. "Well...I mean, what kinda snacks?" Scotty said, quickly changing direction. "I'll grab some stuff and bring it back, k? Just give me a second." Jesse said. "I can come with you..." I said, standing up from the bed. But Scotty suddenly popped up a second later, saying, "Me too!" Ok, so...he was obviously being a little protective today, and I don't blame him. I mean, between dealing with Jesse's Youtube fans and other online celebrities...or hell, even the replies in his comment sections under his videos...I totally get it. I probably would have done the exact same thing. "Ok. That's cool." Jesse said, and he led the way back to his kitchen. His cute little sock feet padding along on the carpet, his fingers lightly pushing back some of those bright golden locks out of his eyes...the mounds of his supple ass pushing out the material of those shiny green soccer shorts as he walked. I'm so glad he went with green. It shows off his beautiful butt a lot more clearly. You can see how round and tight it is, and a hint of the deep cleft in between the cheeks...and that little crease where his ample bottom meets the top of his thighs. It's enough to leave you breathless when you really stare at it the way that I do. Jesse walked over to the fridge and reached inside. he pulled something out that looked a bit like a half gallon carton of orange juice or something, but it was white and beige instead. He smiled at me and said, "I found this at the grocery store. It's iced coffee. French Vanilla. I know it's your favorite. I've got some ice up in the freezer too if you wanna grab a few plastic cups from on top of the microwave and have some." "You remembered..." I grinned, trying to hold back a sigh. "Of course I did. Annnnnd...." He walked over to the counter and brought out a box. "...I've got some glazed honey buns from the store. I mean, they didn't have any bear claws, but I was hoping this would be a decent substitute. It was the best I could do on short notice." Jesse took one out of the box and looked over at me with a grin. "Raawwwr! Hehehe!" "Don't worry. I love it. Hahaha!" I said. But I don't think Scotty liked that very much. He stepped forward a bit, and was quick to say, "Tristan likes chocolate too. He loves chocolate. Right, Tristan?" I guess I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding my infatuated feelings for Jesse, was I? "I do! I love chocolate too." I said, hoping to stabilize Scotty's love stricken investment for a little bit longer. "Yeah. He said he loves chocolate. I got him some yesterday. We both had some on the bus on the way over here." Scotty said. "Oh. I didn't know that." Jesse smiled, and I blushed as he tried to keep quiet about it all. "Chocolate, huh?" "Uh huh..." I nodded. "And strawberry soda." Scotty added. "Which we also had on the way over. So...he might not be hungry, or whatever." "It's ok, Scotty. We can just have a little taste. It won't hurt us, right?" I said. Awww, the poor kid looked so stuck at that moment. "I'll tell you what...you and I can split one of the honey buns, and then have some iced coffee. How's that?" "K..." He said softly, feeling a bit better about sharing something with me, but still feeling like he 'lost' at the same time. Jesse fixed us up with everything, and Scotty was going to grab a paper towel and go sit at the kitchen table, but Jesse said, "It's ok, dude. We can take it back to my room if you want. Let's all hang out for a bit." "Oh. Really?" Scotty asked. "My mom says that's how you get ants. You don't have ants, do you?" Hehehe, was it just me, or was that question a little less 'innocent' that Scotty's usual out of the blue comments? "I don't have ants, Scotty. Promise." Jesse snickered. And we all went back to his room to chill for a bit longer. I can't say that it wasn't a bit awkward, the three of us trying to maintain some level of normality while we were talking. Scotty seemed to be getting increasingly nervous as he examined our interaction closely. I wish Artie would hurry up and get here so we could at least get the two of them talking and maybe smooth things out a little. I don't expect instant fireworks or anything, but it'll at least keep his thoughts busy for a while. Scotty seemed to get uncomfortable whenever the room got quiet. And he got even more uncomfortable whenever I laughed at something that Jesse said. But it came so naturally to us that it was difficult to suppress the urge to giggle and play around whenever we were together. And if Jesse said anything about something he did or someone that he talked to, Scotty was quick to jump in with some kind of 'one up' story that he was hoping would impress me more than anything that Jesse had to offer. Under different circumstances, it might be seen as really sweet. But under these circumstances...I just felt guilty about making Scotty Lynch so jealous. Looking over at Jesse, I tried to give him a silent hint that we needed Artie get his ass over here before this whole covert operation went bust on us. Eventually, I just said, "So...are you still working on that next video, Jesse? I thought you have started on that by now." Giving him a look to let him know exactly what I meant by that. "I was supposed to, but things are running a little bit later than I suspected." He replied. However, I think Scotty was picking up on that too. I'm sure he didn't know what we were talking about, but he could probably tell that there was a double meaning behind the words coming out of our mouths. So we clammed up for a moment to keep from making things worse. That's when Scotty asked, "So...this is where you make all of your videos and stuff, huh? In this room?" "Yeah. Well, most of them. We use other rooms in the house too, like the basement, or the kitchen. And some stuff we do in the back yard too." Jesse said. "Oh, ok. Some stuff...looks familiar, I guess." Scotty sounded a little pouty when he said it, but I don't think he could stand the silence. "Is it hard to do that stuff? Like, how do you keep coming up with new stuff all the time?" "It's not really hard. That's my camera over there in the corner. And I looked up some stuff on lighting and got a decent microphone. Everything else is just...finding the time to record whenever the inspiration hits me. I think that's the most important part. Capturing the moment while it's still fresh in your head. Otherwise, ideas get stale pretty fast." Jesse told him. Scotty nodded, and then he asked, "So...you just...put it out there. For everybody to see?" Jesse and I exchanged a quick look, as Scotty seemed to be slightly apprehensive about that particular part of it. "Well...yeah. That's a part of it too. What good is it to go through all of that trouble to express myself and never share it with anybody?" "You're not worried about...you know...what people might think? Or say? Seems kinda risky to me." Scotty said, peeking over at me briefly before looking away. "There are times when I think about it, sure. But, once you figure out that you have real friends out there who are willing to understand and support you for who you are...it ceases to bother you anymore." Jesse said. "You learn to appreciate and elevate the people who cheer you on over the ones who would judge you or refuse to talk to you one way or another. Besides, having an audience makes me work harder to make good content." "So, I guess a lot of people watch you then, huh?" Scotty mumbled. "Well, we're not super famous or anything. But I'm super happy with my little corner of Youtube, you know? We just topped two thousand subscribers this week. That's major! I never ever thought we'd make it that far, we were just doing it for fun. As a hobby. But it's kinda cool to know that I can sort of reach out and maybe make somebody smile. Like...brighten their day. There's just something cool about giving our audience a temporary escape. It's fun." I love how Jesse's eyes always brighten up when he talks about his channel. Hehehe, it's so adorable to see him so passionate about something he enjoys. Scotty fidgeted a little bit, looking down at his feet. "Two thousand subscribers. That's a lot of people." He said softly. "There's no way that I could have done it if it wasn't for the help of another Youtuber putting the word out there to his fans too. There's this guy named Jimmy Jukebox, and he does these music challenges on his channel and stuff..." "I know who Jimmy Jukebox is..." Scotty said, with a sullen tone. Just when I thought Scotty was starting to warm up to my boyfriend a little bit...the hurt of not knowing about our connection ahead of time seemed to return with a vengeance. Jesse could sense the touch of venom in his response, and simply ended the conversation with, "Well...yeah. He's the one who helped us...reach our goal, so..." "Do people ever recognize you? Like, in public and stuff?" "Sometimes they do." Jesse said. "What do you do then? I mean...are people 'weird' to you?" Scotty asked. "No. Not at all." He said. "Most times...they just say hello, or they might want to take a selfie with me or something. That's about it. They just want to show some love, you know? Just something to say, 'hey, we see you'...and 'thanks'. I like that part. It's all I ever wanted. Just to be seen and appreciated for doing what I love." Scotty turned to look me directly in the eye, and he asked, "I take it you've seen Jesse-101's videos too, Tristan?" Just then, Jesse heard his phone 'ding', and he picked it up to read his texts. Yikes! PLEASE, let that be Artie! I saw Jesse smile, and he nodded in my direction to let me know that things were FINALLY coming together as planned! Thank God! "I let him know that the back door was open. He'll be here in a minute." He smiled. I smiled back at him, but when I looked at Scotty, he was staring down at the floor again. I tried to cheer him up. "Hey, Scotty? Artie's coming over. From the channel. He's, like...practically outside." "Cool." He said, hardly displaying any emotion at all. I wasn't worried though. They just need to talk to one another for a little bit. Once Scotty starts getting all chatty and animated, and Artie starts flirting with that trillion dollar smile of his, I'm sure they'll both forget that Jesse and I are even in the room. We could faintly hear the back door opening up and closing, with Artie's footsteps coming down the hall to Jesse's bedroom, and we were both wiggling and smiling with anticipation, our inner thoughts practically screaming..."This is it!!!" And...much to our surprise, Artie came around the corner to stand in the doorway, wearing a shiny cardboard hat, and blowing into two party favor blowers with a loud noise and tossing a handful of rainbow glitter stars up in the air over his head to litter Jesse's floor! Hehehe, what the...??? I'm going to assume that Artie was planning to surprise Jesse with some fun props for their two thousand subscribers appreciation video...but he had NO idea that Scotty and I were going to be there! Hahaha! Immediately, Artie froze like a deer in headlights and blushed so hard that I was afraid the loss of blood would cause him to faint. You know, I never noticed how BLUE Artie's eyes were until I saw them open as wide as humanly possible while standing in that doorway. They are SERIOUSLY, like...bright neon blue! Geez! Everything stopped in an instant. Time stood still. Jesse attempted to chisel his way through the tension by telling Artie, "Tristan decided to drop by for a visit today. And ummm...well, this is one of his closest friends. This is Scotty." Scotty looked up and managed to say, "Hi..." It sounded bashful, but Scotty might still be trying to recover from the overwhelming stress being put on his heart right now for even being here right now. Artie was quick to snatch that silly hat off of his head, and with a deep breath, he sort of waved at Scotty and me for a brief moment before directing his attention to Jesse. I watched as Artie frantically gestured towards his best friend, beckoning Jesse to get up and come talk to him outside of that room. He was in a bit of a panic, so Jesse sprung to his feet to talk to him. "Ummm, ok, you guys...I'll be...right back, I guess." And just as son as Jesse was within reach, Artie grabbed a hold of his shirt and dragged him out into the hall. "Dude! What are you doing? And what's with all this stuff? You're cleaning up that sparkly shit you put all over my floor..." But his voice faded out as they went to another part of the house to talk. Scotty and I were left alone in his room, and it almost seemed like Scotty didn't want to look me directly in the eye. This really wasn't going the way that I saw it in my head, but I still think things have a good chance of working out. Just....ugh! Let me go, Scotty. Please? Just...look at him. Give Artie a shot. You guys could be sooooo happy if you just... ...Oh wait! They're coming back! Artie felt a little embarrassed by the way he sort of jumped in, and I noticed that he had handed all of his party favors and stuff to Jess so he wouldn't be caught with them himself. And Jesse deposited them on top of his dresser, standing in front of it to block it from everybody's view. Artie looked like he was squirming helplessly in his own skin, shifting from one foot to the other, barely able to glance up from staring at his feet. I said, "Hey, Scotty...I'm sure you recognize Artie, right?" Neither one of them said a word. "See? You get two internet celebrities for the price of one today. Right?" Doing his best to be polite, despite his rapidly souring mood, Scotty stood up to shake Artie's hand...which was trembling like crazy at the time. "Hey, Artie." He said, and Artie could barely catch his breath as he gave him a limp handshake in return. "It's alright, dude. I have a cousin on my mom's side of the family who's deaf too. He doesn't talk either." Jesse and I exchanged a look. "I don't know any sign language though, except how to spell my name. Actually...I think I forgot most of that too. I never learned much more than that." Artie's brow wrinkled up in the cutest way, and Scotty turned to Jesse to say, "I don't...I mean...does he know what I'm saying? If he can't hear me, you might have to translate..." "I can hear you just fine." Artie said, speaking up at long last, albeit with a confused look on his face. Scotty gasped. "Oh...wait...OH!!!" He stepped back. "You can TALK???" "Of course, I can talk..." Artie said, a little squeak in his cuter than cute, high pitched voice. "Oh man, I'm sorry. I just...I never...in your videos, you never say anything. So I figured..." Scotty turned red in the face. "My bad." "It's ok." Artie replied, trying to control his maturing voice as best as he could. "I guess...that's to be expected." There was a pause between them, and he said, "It's good to meet you, Scotty. I'm sorry about...you know...the whole party favor, sparkle, thing. It was just supposed to be, like...a joke." "I thought it was kinda cool." Scotty said softly. "Really? I'm pretty sure that I looked pretty silly, coming in here like that." "At least you made a fu entrance." Scotty said, and as I looked closer, I could ALMOST see him smile! Is this working??? Omigod...I think it's working!!! It might be way too early to tell but... GAHHHHHHHHH!!! https://imagine-magazine.org/
  9. No way! You're not reading enough! There's more stuff on GA than I can possibly get to that's AMAZING! I wish I could go back to the 'book club' thing we had some years back so I could review more. I miss that. As for a movie..."GFD" already did that already. Hehehe, remember?
  10. Giggles! ::Opens 1st Can:: Ptshhhhh.... Happy Friday, everybody! XD
  11. Hey! It's 2:30 in the afternoon! Time to ummm...get rid of that awful beer in my fridge. Don't want to waste it. But don't want to keep it around. Hmmmm...what to do, what to do?
  12. 'My poor self'? LOL! I enjoy writing more than anything in the world! I haven't been bored since March! XD Now I know why people do this for a living! If I was Stephen King or JK Rowling...I'd grin and giggle all day long...and get rich on top of it. Win/Win!
  13. We return to the zombie apocalypse today with a new addition to the "Shelter" series! So check it out! And let me know what you think! https://gayauthors.org/story/comicality/shelter/
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