Once upon a blizzard

by ieshwar

As an ambulance driver, I doubt anyone has seen more tragic events than I have witnessed. Life has been filled with adventures for me - depressing tragedies, miraculous recoveries and some unbelievable happenings. Today, when I sit with my grandchildren to tell one of my stories, I am able to choose from many incidents, but I still remember that day, that terrible blizzard, that had shaken me completely. I have probably told the story many times but I still get goosebumps recalling that snow-covered scene.

Dried leaves crumpled under his feet as Jess threaded himself through the huge trees. There was still ten minutes before the time they had set to meet, yet he knew Kevin would have already arrived. His mouth curved upward in a smile as he saw the seventeen-year old youngster sitting under the leafless tree. He increased his pace as he jogged to him. Each time Jess saw Kevin, a smile crept across his face. Even if he tried, he could not be angry with him. It was like all his worries and sorrows fled when he saw his friend.

“You’re early,” Kevin said with the start of a smile.

“You too.”

Jess shivered as a cold breeze started blowing. The weather station was predicting that it would snow soon. He loved winter: snow, Christmas and skiing. Jess sat down next to Kevin and looked over the dried park. There was nothing, not even a bird chirping or a stray dog. It was as if there was only the two of them in the whole world.

“You said that you wanted to tell me something important,” Jess said after a few minutes of silence.

“You remember when we met for the first time?” Kevin replied.

“How could I forget that day? It was five years ago. You had moved into the house next to mine. You were the cool new guy everyone was talking about. The first time we met you seemed to appeared out of nowhere when Kip was hurt and you helped me and comforted me as I cried,” he replied with a twinkle in his eyes as he recalled that day.

“I have been in love with you since that day,” Kevin declared.

“What?!?”

“I fell in love with you that first day, Jess. You looked so innocent and pure as you cried because your dog was hurt. You weren’t even thinking about the blood staining your shirt. I don’t know why but I was instantly drawn to you. As time passed, you turned out to be even better than I expected. Everything about you is wonderful - your sincerity, your compassion, your humour, your love for ice-cream, your fear of height, your…”

“Kev, I…” Jess started, completely shocked by Kevin’s words. It wasn’t right. Since he was a child, he was taught that boys were supposed to love girls, not other boys. Kevin couldn’t be gay, could he? Jess rose to go, but Kevin grasped his hand. Jess tried to explain his feelings to him but, as he gazed in Kevin’s deep green eyes, he could not find the words. Never had he seen so much love in someone’s eyes.

“Please, Kevin, don’t talk like that. Please,” Jess pleaded as Kevin rose and stepped close to him.

“Tell me that you don’t love me and I’ll stop.”

They were now so close that they were breathing the same air. Their chests were touching as well as the tips of their noses. Kevin stood and watched as Jess went through a dozen different emotions. Jess didn’t know what to do. ‘Do I love him?’ he asked himself, and the answer was simple.

“Yes, Kevin, I love you, too. I don’t know when I first realized it but you have always been very special to me. You are more than a friend, more than a best friend, more than a brother. You are my everything,” he said in a low voice as he gazed into Kevin’s green pools.

Smiling, Kevin tilted his head forward and brought his lips closer to those of Jess. At first he teased him by just brushing a bit but, not able to resist any longer, they became lost in a deep kiss. Jess parted his lips to welcome Kevin’s tongue. Neither boy had ever experienced such an intoxicating and amazing kiss. It was one of those kisses that started a profound and unique relationship. As they broke the kiss, they noticed that it had started snowing. Jess smiled as he felt the first snow of the year melt in his palm.

“Can I ask you a question?” Kevin enquired as Jess snuggled closer to him. They were now sitting under the huge tree again as they enjoyed simply being together. It continued snowing and the wind was beginning to pick up. Both knew that they should probably return home but they did not want to part.

“You don’t need to ask permission, Kev!”

“Why did you stop me when I said that I love you?”

“I knew of my love for you for a long time but I also knew that, in our society it was forbidden. Also, I didn’t want to lose our friendship. That’s why I just locked it all away in my heart. It was really hard, carrying this. Many nights I would lie on my bed, crying because of my fate. Now, I would even walk on fire if it keeps me close to you. When you told me that you loved me, I thought that it was another of your jokes,” Jess whispered as he felt Kevin’s breath on the back of his neck.

“I will never leave your side, Jess. I love you.”

“Say it again.”

“What?”

“That you love me.”

“I love you.”

“More!”

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you and I will always love you,” Kevin said with a huge smile.

Each time Jess heard those words, he felt a swooping sensation in his stomach. He never thought he would hear those words from Kevin’s mouth. Before he could stop himself, he turned his head and gave his green-eyed friend a mind-blowing kiss. This time, their hands roamed a bit more freely. Jess drowned his hands in Kevin’s long brown locks and then proceeded to caress his back and venture a bit lower. Meanwhile Kevin was busy exploring Jess’s stomach and feeling its firmness. The erections of both boys did not go unnoticed either.

“I love you, too, Kev. I promise to always be at your side,” Jess said, panting, as he broke the lip lock and hugged his friend. He never realized that life could be so beautiful. He gazed at the vast white blanket stretching in front of him, he felt the heat radiating from his new boyfriend, and he held Kevin’s hand and let their fingers intertwined. If he could just stop the time…

“I didn’t know you were a fag, Kevin,” a voice boomed. Alarmed, Jess and Kevin instantly rose to their feet. It was Mark followed by Larry and Carl.

“It’s none of your business, Mark. Get your ass out of here,” Kevin snarled.

“I don’t think so, Kevin. It’s been days since I fucked someone, especially after breaking up with Julie. I notice your boyfriend has a nice ass. I’ve got to show him how real men feel,” Mark smirked.

“Let’s go, Kev,” Jess whispered. He didn’t like violence much and preferred to keep away from trouble but Kevin was too proud to let someone go after such an insult.

“You’re going to regret your words, asshole.” Kevin shouted to Mark.

Kevin suddenly gave Mark a blow to the stomach before the latter realised what was happening. Kevin was really quick and used his football reflexes well to defend Jess and himself. In a few minutes, all three intruders were whimpering on the snow-covered ground. The wind was wilder than ever. As Kevin blocked further attacks from Larry and Carl, Mark stood and stabbed him three times with his pocketknife.

Jess watched in horror as Kevin stopped and touched his blood covered chest. It was as if time had stopped. Kevin started to collapse. Before he could touch the ground, however, Jess rushed to grab him. He lowered him to the ground but kept Kevin’s head on his lap. The other three disappeared as quickly as they had arrived. Jess did not know what to do. It seemed as if he had lost his mind and voice as well. But it was not a time to panic and he had to keep a cool head.

“It’s going to be okay, Kev. I’m calling an ambulance,” Jess reassured both Kevin and himself.

Because of the storm, the cell phone signal was becoming weaker and weaker. After several tries, he finally managed to get the line. He told the 911 operator to come to the National Park, immediately. He also phoned his father and Kevin’s elder brother.

“They are going to come, Kev,” Jess whispered as he put the phone down. Knots appeared to be forming in his whole body, from his throat to his stomach.

“They won’t come, Jess. The weather is too bad. The blizzard is picking up,” Kevin said with lots of difficulty. Jess looked around him and realised that he might be right. It was impossible to see more than a few feet in any direction. The gale was blowing ferociously now, showering them with snow. He had not even noticed that he was shivering severely. But he refused to accept that help would not arrive.

“Don’t worry. I’m here for you,” he whispered as he caressed Kevin’s cheeks. They were both becoming icy cold.

“I’m sorry that I won’t be able to keep my promise. I won’t be able to always be at your side,” Kevin uttered as a single tear rolled down his cheek. It was becoming more and more difficult for him to talk. The cold weather and the wound in his chest was slowing him down significantly.

“Ssshhh! Everything is going to be fine,” Jess said as tears started falling from his own eyes. If only he had not confessed his love… if only he had helped Kevin fight… if only he had stopped Mark…if only…

Jess cried as he stroked Kip’s furry back. The two were playing when an unstable rock fell from the stone fence and crushed the left hind leg of the little puppy. The twelve-year-old boy did not know what to do since he did not recognise anyone in this big park and he had to wait another hour for his father to come to fetch him.

“Hi! What’s happened? Is your puppy hurt?” a kind voice said.

Jess lifted his head and saw two green eyes with lots of brown hair above them. Strangely, with his hair shining from the sunlight, the boy looked like an angel with a golden halo above his head. Jess nodded silently.

“Don’t worry. Come with me to my house. My father is a vet. Give me your puppy. I’ll handle it with care. My father says that you must not move the hurt leg much in case it is broken,” the brown-haired boy said.

Jess was not going to trust his pet to any stranger but this boy seemed really friendly. And Kip’s life was more important. So he handed the yelping brown puppy to the boy.

“By the way, I’m Kevin. I moved here last week,” the tall boy said, extending his right hand with a huge infectious smile.

“I’m Jess,” he said as he shook Kevin’s hand and smiled, too.

“I love you, Jess. I’m glad that I have been able to spent at least a few minutes in your arms. My only regret is that we could have spent all those years together.,” Kevin whispered as he held Jess’s hand tighter.

“I love you too, Kev,” he replied as tears continued to flow from his eyes.

Jess jumped from his seat and started clapping at the same time that the whole stadium erupted in applause. He clapped his hands hard so that he could make maximum noise. He would have joined in the wolf whistling, too, if he knew how. He was so glad that he did not even feel the pain in his hand from clapping so hard. He shouted, sang and cheered loudly to express his enjoyment to everyone. After all, his best friend had just won the final match.

“You did it! You did it!” he yelled as he hugged Kevin minutes later. He hastily wiped the tears from his eyes. He was such a crybaby, crying at every little thing.

It was Kevin’s dream to win this cup but Jess was even happier about winning it. The latter was not interested in football matches but if it made Kevin happy, he was happy, too.

That night, Kevin went to Jess’s place instead of the party organised by his teammates. He wanted to share his happiness with his best friend. In their years of friendship, they had shared together joy, grief, dreams, secrets, worries and so much more.

Jess started crying freely. He realised that no one was going to come in time to help. He was going to lose Kevin, the one he loved. He wondered how he was going to live without him. He clutched Kevin tighter than ever. The pain he felt was beyond tears. It was as if someone had snatched his heart from him. He had heard that many persons lived in the memory of their beloved but he was not so strong. He did not want to live in a world without Kevin, especially not one that tried to separate them.

“We are not going to break our promises, Kev,” he whispered, but he was not sure that Kevin heard his voice as the wind gusts carried his words away.

Jess entered the dark room and closed the door behind him. Kevin was sitting on his bed, totally still. They had been to his Grandpa’s funeral that day. Kevin was really close to his grandpa, more than to his own parents. Losing him has been really tough for him yet, at the funeral, he did not cry at all or show his grief. Everyone said how brave and mature he had become.

Only Jess could see the deep pain inside his friend. He could see him suffering. He knew that Kevin was too proud too cry in front of everyone so he came to his room to release his feelings. Jess sat next to his best friend on the bed and hugged him.

“Let it flow, Kev. Your Grandpa wouldn’t have liked to see you bottle all this pain inside you. You can trust me,” Jess said as he started sobbing.

That was all that Kevin needed and he grabbed his friend tightly and started crying.

Jess was no longer aware of what was happening around him, even when the snowy storm bit his skin, snow covered their bodies, or the frost started forming on his skin. All he could see was his friend’s body lying in his lap. He passed his numb free hand, which was covered in blood and tears, through Kevin’s brown hair. He touched those beautiful cheeks, those full lips and his closed eyes. Kevin was only barely alive. His breathing was becoming more and more painful and short.

Jess lowered his head and kissed Kevin’s cold lips. Kevin’s tongue weakly entered Jess’s warm mouth. After a short contact and tease, Kevin’s tongue retreated back, lifeless. A shudder shot through Jess’s body when he understood that Kevin was gone. In the next instant, his own soul detached from his body to join with Kevin’s for eternal union.

I was one of the first persons to arrive on the scene. We knew that we were late, probably too late. We had never been through such a wild blizzard. The roads were blocked, the vision was not clear and the park was located at the other end of the town. My partners and I were stunned as we stared at the scene in front of us.

Under the huge bare tree, on a white blanket of snow, the two still figures lay. One might have thought they were sheltered under this snow blanket to protect themselves from this unjust world, protect themselves from its bigotry, protect themselves from their fatal blows and insults… Their only fault was falling in love…in this world.

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