Friends First - 1. Part I: Truths Revealed

“And just what the hell am I supposed to do with this?” Keith stared at the photo in his hand as anger coursed through his body. He was going to have to confront his boyfriend about it, that was for sure. He wasn’t sure if whoever sent the photo was trying to be cruel or be kind. Either way, it didn’t matter. Now that he knew… he would say something; he’d have to.

He heard the front door of the apartment open and quickly refolded the incriminating photo and stuffed it in his pocket. Before he could say anything he needed to figure out the best way to approach Will.

“Keith? I’m home! Where are you?”

Keith closed his eyes at the sound of Will’s voice. He could do this, he could. It wasn’t really like he had any choice. He couldn’t just forget what he knew. Pulling himself together, he headed out to the living room.

“There you are.” Will walked over to him and pressed a gentle kiss to Keith’s lips.

Keith didn’t return the kiss, he couldn’t, instead he questioned whether or not Will kissed his on-the-side lover the same way. He pulled back and looked at the man he’d been living with for the past month. It all made sense now. Why Will had kept putting off their moving in together. He had probably been afraid that he’d get caught. He had been wrong, he couldn’t do this. Didn’t want to do it.

His eyes burned from suppressing the tears that threatened to spill over and his stomach churned from just thinking about Will with someone else. What else didn’t he know about Will? How long had he been cheating on him? Keith closed his eyes and tried to ignore the ache in his chest. When he opened them again, Will was watching him with a confused look on his face.

“I’ve got to go out for a bit.” Keith forced a smile to his lips and brushed past his boyfriend. He couldn’t stay in the same apartment with him right now. He needed to get away and think about what his next step was going to be. He’d given up his apartment and moved into Will’s once Will had finally agreed to live together, so he didn’t even have anywhere that he could go.

He could always go get pissed drunk, but he needed a clear head to decide where he was going to go. He couldn’t stay with Will, he knew that. He’d never be able to trust him after such a betrayal. He slammed the door behind him and ran down the steps before pushing open the doors that led to the street. With the way he was feeling, he was almost surprised it wasn’t raining; that would definitely fit his mood of the moment.

His cell vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out, only to silence it when the display read Will. He would talk to him, but not yet. Not until he’d had time to fully absorb what the picture plainly showed. Will in the arms of someone else. He wondered if he’d be so upset if it had been another man in the picture, not that he knew what difference it would make. He’d never thought Will would cheat on him, especially with a woman.

His cell vibrated again, and his finger moved to hit the ignore button when he noticed it was Braeden. He’d almost bet that Will had called him after he’d left, but even knowing Braeden would have questions, he couldn’t not answer. Not to Braeden.

“Hey Brae, what’s up?” Keith tried to keep his tone as normal as possible, but even he heard the slight catch in his words.

“I think I should be the one asking that. Will just called here looking for you.” Braeden sounded concerned, but Keith didn’t want to go into it on the phone.

“Long story. Well, maybe not so long.” He debated for only a minute before heading in the direction of Braeden’s apartment. It was a nice night for a walk and Braeden only lived about ten blocks away. “You have plans tonight?”

“Nope, just sitting down to watch a movie. Why?”

“I just…” Keith cleared his throat, “I need…” God, how hard was it to ask his buddy if he could come over? It was just a few simple words.

“Get over here Keith.” He could hear the exasperation in Braeden’s voice. “I can tell something is going on, and whatever you need, I’m here.”

“On my way.” He didn’t wait for a reply before ending the call. Thank god he had Braeden for a friend. He had been terrified that their friendship would end when he’d made a move on the older man, but Braeden had been really good about the whole thing and their friendship had managed to survive.

The walk seemed to take forever, but at least it gave him time to think. He’d see if Braeden might let him stay the night at his place, just for tonight, and then tomorrow he could call in sick to work and go get all of his stuff from Will’s. That still left the question of where he would go. He walked up the steps to the doors leading into the apartment complex and pressed the buzzer.

“Keith?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Keith listened for the buzz of the door and quickly opened it and headed inside. Braeden lived on the first floor, so it was only seconds later that he was standing at his buddy’s door. He raised his hand to knock before letting it fall back to his side. He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t dump his problems on Braeden. He turned to leave, but before he could the door opened and Braeden stood there.

“Where you going?” Braeden reached out and grabbed his arm to pull him into the apartment.

Keith didn’t put up much of a fight as the door was shut behind him and he was led over to the couch. He sat and glanced around the room, smiling his first smile of the night as he saw the picture Braeden had up of the two of them together on his last birthday. He was barely aware of what was going on around him until Braeden perched himself on the coffee table in front of him.

“Will is cheating on me.” His voice came out barely a whisper.

“I’m sorry.” Braeden stared down at the hands clasped between his knees.

“What are you sorry about?” He didn’t understand. Braeden hadn’t done anything to be sorry about. It was all on Will.

“I wanted to tell you so many times, but you seemed so happy.”

“Wait a minute! You knew?” Keith tried to wrap his mind around that. How could Braeden know and not tell him? Braeden had betrayed him. Funny, that hurt worse than the fact that Will had cheated. “I’m out of here.”

Keith lunged to his feet and hurried to the door. He couldn’t believe this. Braeden knew and kept silent. Hadn’t spoken a single damn word about what he knew. Keith shook his head in an attempt to clear it and pulled open the door. Before he could walk out it, Braeden’s hand shot past him to push the door shut.

“Keith, wait, please.” Braeden’s voice had turned husky and Keith closed his eyes, trying to block it out.

He could feel Braeden’s warm breath caressing his neck. The heat from Braeden’s body seemed so welcoming. A single step backwards and he could be in Braeden’s arms, at least, if his best friend swung that way. Unfortunately, he didn’t and Keith had long ago accepted that.

“No Brae. You should have told me.” Keith couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice and refused to turn and face Braeden.

“You’re right. I should have. I thought you were happy with him and I didn’t want to see you hurt. Plus, I had no proof.” Braeden grabbed his arm and turned him until they were facing each other despite Keith’s resistance. “I confronted him with what I knew, and he swore he was going to stop.”

“Well, I have a picture that says otherwise.” Keith reached into his pocket and pulled the picture out before throwing it at Braeden’s chest. He watched it fall to the ground, but Braeden didn’t even bend to pick it up. “Aren’t you going to look at it?” Keith bent and picked the photo up. “Hey, at least you could tell me if it was the same woman you knew about!”

“I don’t need to look at it.” Braeden’s stare was quickly making him uncomfortable and Keith took a step back, only to be stopped by the door. Braeden cleared his throat before continuing. “I don’t need to look at it, because…” A deep breath. “I’m the one who took it.”

“You…” Anger turned to fury inside him and he stepped forward until he was only inches away from Braeden. “You took it?! Why the hell would you do that to me? Let me find out from a picture when you could have fucking told me! Just tell me why!”

“Because, I didn’t want to risk you thinking…” Braeden took a step backwards and Keith followed.

“You didn’t want to risk me thinking what? That you care? You have a helluva way of showing it!”

“I didn’t want you to know it was me who sent the picture.” Braeden’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“Why? Why are you telling me now if you didn’t want me to know? You’re my best friend; I would have told you!” Keith shook his head. “Braeden, why? Just tell me.”

Braeden averted his gaze, looking everywhere but at him until Keith reached out and grabbed his arm. When Braeden finally met his eyes, the pain there made Keith take a step back.

“I didn’t want you to think I was just trying to break you guys up.”

“Why the hell would I think that? I asked you out before I ever even met Will and you turned me down. I know you don’t think of me like that.” Keith could only watch as Braeden ducked his head, once more averting his gaze rather than answering. His heart thudded in his chest so hard that Keith was afraid it would pound right out. “Brae?”

“It doesn’t matter now.” Braeden sounded defeated as he turned away. Shock kept Keith rooted to his spot as he watched his best friend walk away from him.

The bedroom door shut with a click that seemed loud in the otherwise silent apartment and Keith sank down onto the couch. He should leave, but first he needed to talk to Braeden about whatever was going on.

If Braeden had been interested in him, then why had he turned him down? It didn’t make any sense. Unwilling to wait to get the answers he needed, Keith stood and stuffed the photograph into his back pocket before moving down the hallway. He paused before knocking on the bedroom door and when Braeden didn’t answer, Keith turned the knob and opened the door enough to poke his head in.

“Brae? Can we talk?” His heart clenched at the sight of Braeden sprawled on his back with one arm slung over his eyes. Keith even thought he saw a tear trickle down Braeden’s cheek.

“Sure.” Braeden swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, his elbows resting on his knees.

Keith pushed the door the rest the way open, his gaze lingering on the bed before shooting up to Braeden’s face. Well, what he could see of it anyways. “Ummm… Maybe it would be better if we talked in the living room.”

“Yeah, sure.” Braeden stood and followed him from the room.

Keith sat, motioning for Braeden to sit beside him, and angled his body until he was facing his best friend. “I believe you when you said you didn’t send the picture to break us up, but why did you? I mean, if you already knew he had cheated, then why tell now?”

Braeden took a deep breath and exhaled before answering. “I swear I thought he had stopped or I would have come to you. When I found out he was still cheating I knew I couldn’t keep quiet about it any longer. It had to be your decision whether or not you could forgive him. You deserved that chance.”

“I deserved to know when you first found out, but even after that, I deserved to hear it from my friend. Why didn’t you just come to me? Tell me face to face?” Keith didn’t try to keep the hurt out of his voice and saw Braeden wince. His phone rang in his pocket, but he ignored it. “Do you have any idea how it felt to see that picture?”

“Like somebody was stabbing you in the heart and twisting the blade. Like nothing in your world would ever be right again.” Braeden hunched forward and rested his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

“How…” Keith couldn’t finish the thought.

“Because that’s how I feel every time I see you with him.” Braeden turned his head slightly and finally looked at him, pain shimmering in the green eyes. “Every single time you touch him, kiss him—” Braeden shook his head. “Hell, every time you talk about him, it’s the same thing. I swear I didn’t send you that picture to break you up, but you needed to know.”

“But… I mean…” A dozen different thoughts churned through Keith’s mind and the more he thought about it, the angrier and more confused he got. He’d kissed Braeden months before he even met Will and Braeden had rejected him. He hadn’t been mean about it, but it was still a rejection. Keith had been hurt, but unwilling to throw a friendship away over unrequited love he’d tried his best to put it behind him. Then he’d met Will. He’d fallen quickly into lust with the man and he’d thought it had turned into love, but looking at Braeden, he knew that he’d never felt for Will even half of what he’d felt for his best friend.

“Would you please say something? Anything?” Braeden’s voice was shaky and pulled Keith from his thoughts.

“What the hell do you want me to say?” Keith stood and paced back and forth in front of the couch. He turned to face Braeden, his hands clenched into fists at his side. “I kissed you, told you I wanted us to be together, and you told me you didn’t feel that way about me. You told me that it would be better for me if I found someone my own age who could give me what I needed.”

Keith couldn’t stay still and once again started pacing. His gaze landed on a framed photo of him and Braeden together, their arms slung over each other’s shoulders. The look on their faces… Keith froze as he thought back to the day Braeden had rejected him. He’d thought at the time that Braeden hadn’t wanted him, but with recent events, things were starting to click in his mind and everything started making sense; ‘someone his own age’. It apparently hadn’t been that Braeden didn’t want him, he’d felt he was too old for him. Keith smacked his forehead with his palm.

“God, I’m such an idiot.” He whirled to face Braeden and stormed over until he stood in front of the man that he still had feelings for. “How long?” At Braeden’s blank look, he clarified. “How long have you felt this way?”

“Since about a month after we met.” Braeden’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “You were only twenty-four and at the time, the twelve year age gap… I felt I was too old for you. When you kissed me… God, I wanted to grab ahold of you and not let go, but didn’t think it would be fair to you.” Braeden grimaced and went back to staring at his hands. “By the time I pulled my head out of my ass and admitted that I’d made a mistake, you were with Will. You seemed happy and I told myself, repeatedly, that it was better you’d found someone your own age.”

“I… I need to think.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Not only had his boyfriend been cheating on him for who knew how long, but the man he didn’t think he had a chance with was apparently interested in him. It was all so much at one time and he wasn’t sure what his next step should be. He knew one thing; Braeden couldn’t help him figure this one out. He turned and headed for the door only to be stopped with his hand on the doorknob at Brae’s voice.

“Keith?”

“What?” He didn’t turn around. He wasn’t entirely sure that he could face Braeden at the moment and still see him in the same light.

“I’m sorry.”

Keith nodded, unable to do anything else. He wasn’t sure if Braeden was apologizing for not telling him in the first place, for sending the picture, for turning him down when Keith had kissed him, or for the way he felt. At the moment, it didn’t matter, the depth of emotion he could hear in Braeden’s voice brought tears to his eyes. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

“I know.” He didn’t know where he was going, but he couldn’t stay here, not with everything still unresolved. Keith pulled open the door and walked out, his heart breaking.