Knots 2 - 22. Chapter 22

Matt

What a day. Thomas and I were worried about what Andy and Randy had done the night before, and as it turned out, they didn’t do anything. It’s not like I own Andy, but I have to tell you I was happy to find out they hadn’t messed around. Thomas later asked me if I believed them and I had to say yes, because Andy’s never lied to me. Thomas said he couldn’t say the same for Randy.

We were all afraid the afternoon foursome was going to fall apart if any of us had been fucking each other, but Andy surprised me when he and Randy hadn’t done anything. And before we knew it, Andy and Randy had us naked and horny as hell. Andy had everything planned out. It was the best fucking time I’ve ever had. Notice I didn’t say it was the best time I’ve ever had, it was the best fucking time. Andy made sure I got a piece of Thomas’ ass and cock and he got mine. That’s what I call a best friend.

Andy’s pretty much given you all the details of what happened that afternoon, but I have to tell you my balls ached and my jaw hurt and I’d never experienced anything like it. We were ready to do it all over again when we heard Andy’s parents’ car pull up in the driveway.

We all followed Andy’s directions to head to the bedroom to get dressed as he grabbed the sheets, lube and condoms. He must have decided it wouldn’t look good if we were all in his bedroom so he sent us out into the living room to turn on a football game. His parents walked in while we were fumbling with the TV.

I’m not sure if I did, but I think I must have turned red. Here were the four of us all together while they weren’t home. You could hear the suspicion in Andy’s parents’ voices. And of course we hadn’t gotten the game on yet and none of us had any idea what game we were going to watch.

Andy’s dad looked tired and sick. Maybe that’s why they came home early. They didn’t say. At first I thought they had an argument. Mr. Gibson headed toward their bedroom and Andy was in hot pursuit. All the time we’re hoping we didn’t leave anything behind. But for all we knew, the room smelled like cum. Andy came out a few minutes later and his mother confronted him. “Are you sure, nothing’s been going on here?”

“Mom, relax. No.”

I was glad he was doing the lying and not me. But of course her eyes fell on me next. “Is that true Matt?”

Silence was all I could muster.

She went on. “Mr. Gibson and I prefer that you boys do not hang around here when we’re not home.”

We all nodded and gave a quick, “Yes, Mrs. Gibson.”

“But Mom, we weren’t doing anything,” Andy complained.

She shook her head. I don’t know if you were or not, but it’s one thing having Matt over because you guys have been best friends forever, but now, after all that has happened, we prefer that all four of you not be alone.”

I thought, Oh shit, she’s going to talk to my parents.

Andy couldn’t let it go. “Mom, I’m gay. All of us were messed over by Dillon. We have something in common.”

I’d have kicked him if it wouldn’t have let his mom know something was up.

She sat down on the sofa with a sigh. “I know that. And it scares me. You boys are too young to be doing anything. Sex is a powerful thing. You may think it’s only fun, but it can corrupt you.”

Andy let out a big laugh. “Be serious, Mom. Sex doesn’t corrupt anyone.”

I remember thinking, corrupt is an unusual choice of words.

She looked at each of us one at a time. “You’re young. You are just beginning to know who you are. Your emotions and your passions are strong. I sure know mine were at your age. But taking on the emotional stress that can come with having sex whenever you want and with whomever you want, can damage you.”

We let Andy do the talking. “It’s not like that, Mom. And besides, who said we were having sex whenever we want and with whomever we want.”

She stood. “I’m just telling you what I know. My dad used to always say ‘you don’t get anything for nothing,’ and I think that’s true. There’s always a price to pay. Sometimes the price is small and sometimes it amounts to a great deal. There isn’t much I can do but trust you, but I think we need to talk to your parents.”

“We weren’t doing anything, honest,” Randy said. “Don’t talk to our parents.”

“Mrs. Gibson, you’ve known me forever and I’ve never lied to you. Nothing was going on. If you talk to our parents, you’ll make them think there was,” I said like the lying coward I was. I don’t think I’d ever lied to Mrs. Gibson or my parents. And here I was squirming and lying.

She looked me straight in the eye. “I know I can trust you, Matt. Are you saying everything was like Andy said?”

“Yes, we just played video games, some b-ball, and were getting ready to watch the football game.”

She let out a small smile. “I know I can trust you, Matt. So I’ll hold off for now unless you guys lead me to believe there’s more to this than you’re letting on.”

A sigh of relief hit the room.

She started for the kitchen, then turned back. “Andy, your father wasn’t feeling well. He might have the flu or a serious cold. That’s why we came home early. I don’t think he’s going to work tomorrow. I hate to ask you boys to leave, but it’s been a long day and we need some rest.”

Andy walked behind her. “He didn’t look very good when I talked to him in the bedroom.” He paused and then said, “Can we just talk for a few minutes before they leave?”

She nodded and Andy headed to his bedroom with us following.

“We’re in deep shit. My dad found a condom on the floor next to the bed. He knows something was going on.”

All I could think of while Andy’s talking was that Mrs. Gibson was going to know I lied to her and all our parents would be talking, and shit was going to hit the fan. Maybe Mrs. Gibson was right. There is a price to pay. Of course, we’d have gotten the weekend for free if they hadn’t come home. But who can control fate?

My voice was tight. “We’re fucked.”

Randy flopped on the bed. “You guys worry too much. Relax. Everything’ll be fine.”

“Maybe at your house,” Thomas said. “But my parents will be pissed. It was one thing when they figured we’d been seduced, but if they find out were fucking around all the time, it’s like Matt said, ‘we’re fucked.”

Tears welled in my eyes. “And besides Andy, I’ve never lied to your mother. She’s going to know I’m a liar.”

He sat at his desk. “Just be cool. Stick with our story. They may suspect, but they can’t prove a damn thing unless one of us cracks. I’ll figure a way to explain the condom. So relax like Randy says. Now get out of here and spend the night crying over all the fucking we missed out on.”

He didn’t seem to care what his mother thought of me. But hell, I never really worried much about what my parents thought of Andy. Andy was just Andy. But I had a reputation for being honest, and now what? My parents and Andy’s parents would begin to doubt my word.

We got out of there as quickly as possible.

“I hope Mr. Gibson is feeling better in the morning,” I said to Mrs. Gibson as I gave her an innocent smile.

“Thanks, Matt.”

All four of us walked to the end of the driveway. Andy frowned. “What are we going to do now? Where can we go to fuck?”

“I don’t much care right now. I just want to get home and have one last night of peace,” I said.

Thomas patted me on the back. “Me too.”

Randy pulled us all in close. “I’ll figure a way. But hell, if you guys can’t do it, I can get a lot of other featherless cocks in my mouth and ass.”

I hated to laugh, but it was funny. Randy is a hedonist. Big word, right? Well, I looked up pleasure and sex when I got home that night and that’s the word kept coming up. Here’s what I found.

Hedonism

1. Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.

2. Philosophy The ethical doctrine holding that only what is pleasant or has pleasant consequences is intrinsically good.

3. Psychology The doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

Given that, I was beginning to think all four of us were hedonists. But in my case, mine was definition number three. I loved the pleasure and wanted to avoid the pain I was going to face everyone found out I lied and we’d all been fucking around. I thought about Andy and Dillon and all the pleasure they’d had and how it all turned to shit. It turned to pain. So much pain that Andy was close to killing himself and Dillon was in jail. So was it worth it? Only Andy can answer that. And what we did that weekend, was it worth it? It was amazing and every time I think of it, I get horny. But the answer to that question lay in the future and not during the awesome moments of pleasure. I began to realize that sex and the experience of sex is not something you can hold in your hand or hang on the wall. It’s a memory and the memory isn’t the same as the real thing. As I look back on it now, all the sex Andy and I had and the great foursome sex was hot, but I can’t touch it or feel it. It’s only an image in my mind. Lying to Mrs. Gibson made me wonder whether it was worth it. Sex didn’t necessarily make me a better person, a better athlete, or a better student. I’m not sure what it did. But as the weekend ended and we moved on in our lives, I wasn’t sure if I’d have been better without it or not. Still don’t.

Think of the kids who graduate from high school and are still virgins. Do they know what they missed? No. They think they know. But their lives are no worse because they didn’t have sex. I pray my life isn’t any worse because I had my first sexual experience at fifteen with another boy. Like I said, once Andy and I had sex I hardly thought about anything else. I wonder if virgins do that. Of course, everyone thinks about sex, but as soon as you have sex with someone else, another person is involved, and things become more complicated. It was getting to be that way in my life.

Anyway, sorry for going on about this, but these things were on my mind and I wanted to share them. You are free of course to think I’m full of shit, because I may well be. But I’m Matt Spence and I have a right to my opinion just like those who read what Andy and I write have a right to their opinion. Just remember, keep an open mind and think. Sometimes I think that’s my problem. I think too much. I’m not sure Andy does. Life is easier if you don’t think about the things you do. But I’m just not that way, and sometimes I’m pretty miserable. That’s the way I was that night when I got home and realized I loved the pleasure and feared the pain.

Andy

My mother was all over us. She seemed to know something was going on. And she didn’t even know about the condom my dad found. The only one she seemed to trust was Matt, and he told her a bold faced lie. I’ve never known him to lie to anyone. But what was he supposed to say? “Yes, Mrs. Gibson, the four of us have been fucking and sucking each other for two days.” I could tell he felt bad about it when we got to my room. He looked pissed when I acted like it was nothing. I knew better, but didn’t want to make a big thing of it.

My first reaction to my mom’s comments about consequences was to tell her no matter what, none of us were going to get pregnant. The only reason I didn’t say that was because it might have led her to believe we were doing something.

Once the guys left, my mom cornered me. She sat at the dining room table and pointed at the chair across from her, “Sit. We need to talk.”

“Oh mom. I don’t need to hear all this stuff.” And then I let it go. “Don’t worry, Mom. At least none of us will get pregnant.” I let out a laugh and she frowned at me.

She clasped her hands in the middle of the table. “This isn’t funny. I’m going to accept that nothing was going on here because Matt said so, but I’m still concerned. We don’t want those boys here when we’re not home, understand?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I understand. But we weren’t doing anything, honest.”

She stood. “I need to check on your dad. We’ll talk later.”

I followed her to see if dad was awake, but he was sound asleep and I knew we were off the hook for the time being. And besides, what’s an unused condom on the floor prove anyway. Of course, it was in their room. But I could easily say I dropped it on the way to their shower. I’d have to let go of a little of my pride and tell them I like to masturbate with a condom on my penis. I didn’t have much choice?

But all that was put off to the next day.

*****

Mom stuck her head in my room before she headed to work the next morning and told me to check on my dad before I left for school. I did, and much to my relief, he was still sound asleep. Despite all our weekend sex, it was nice to get to school and think about other things. Not that our foursome didn’t pop into my mind every now and then, but I talked with Emily about her weekend on the way to class. Matt, Emily, Gina, and I ate lunch together and everything seemed normal at first. We were just like every other high school kid except every time I looked at Matt I saw him with his dick in Thomas’ ass or Thomas sucking his dick. When I visualized Matt winking at me, I almost lost it. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad consequence of what we did, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. After a while, it began to make me half crazy. Thomas and Randy walked by and said hello, and the same thing happened. Sex controlled my mind.

Emily cleared her throat. “What’s the matter with you two? Your minds seem somewhere else?”

It would have been bad enough if it was only one of us, but both of us made them suspicious that something was up.

“Nothing,” Matt replied.

Matt’s arms were resting on the table. Gina put her hand on his arm. “This isn’t like you. Are you thinking about football or something?”

“Yeah,” I said. “He’s thinking about being the starting varsity quarterback.”

Matt nodded. “Andy’s right. It’s been on my mind all weekend.”

Oops, I thought. There’s lie number two. Like Pinocchio, his nose was going to start growing.

Matt gave us a serious look. “I want to beat out that jerk, Frank Kutcher. He’s only second string, and I know I’m better than he is.”

I grinned. “Right Matt, you go after him. In the meantime, I’m already playing starting quarterback, so eat your heart out.”

“All right you guys,” Emily warned. “Knock it off and let’s talk about something else.”

We moved on to other things and before we knew it school was out and we were headed to the locker room for football practice. Most of the homophobic crap had stopped. Thank God no one knew what we’d been doing all weekend. There’d have been no end to the shit we would have had to put up with.

Randy and Thomas’ locker was close to mine. I turned to Randy and pointed over at the varsity lockers. “Which one of these guys has been putting his cock in your mouth?”

He smiled. “I’m not telling, and what makes you think it’s a football player?”

I slipped my girdle pads on. “I have my suspicions. I’ve seen a couple of the guys giving you a little more attention than they might otherwise give a freshman.”

He grinned. “What’s the deal, Andy? Do you want in on some of the action?”

Thomas kicked Randy in the ass. “He’s not a whore like you.”

Randy spun around like he was pissed and then laughed. “Hell, we were all whores this weekend.”

Thomas whispered. “Randy, keep your voice down. Someone might hear you.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass. Everyone knows we had Dillon’s cock in our ass and mouth, so what difference does it make?”

Thomas looked down at the ground. “It just does. So knock the shit off.”

I nudged Randy with my elbow. “I agree with Thomas. We’ve had to take enough shit. I don’t want anymore.”

My cell phone surprised me when it rang. No one ever calls me before football practice. My mom was on the other end. “Come home as soon as practice is over and bring Matt with you.”

Chapter Quote 1: Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. - Buddha

Chapter Quote 2: Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. Oscar Wilde

- For those who do not know, Oscar Wilde was a writer. He graduated from Oxford and was bisexual. He was married with two children. He entered into a gay relationship with a young aristocrat named Lord Alfred Douglas when his children were around eight or nine I believe. Alfred’s father, the Marquis of Queensbury, publically accused Wilde of being a sodomite. Wilde sued the father in court for libel. The son abandoned Wilde because he was against the suit. Wilde lost the case and became exhausted and depressed. He died at age 46 of meningitis after exiling himself to France. If you’d like to read more, go to Biography at http://www.biography.com/people/oscar-wilde-9531078?page=1 You can also get his biography on a DVD through Netflix.

Chapter Quote 3: Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that's important. Self-discipline with an awareness of consequences. -- The Dalai Lama

Chapter Quote 4: Everybody, sooner or later, sits down to a banquet of consequences. -- Robert Louis Stevenson

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I’d like to thank Lisa for taking the time to edit Knots. As the author, I take final responsibility for all parts of the story, including any errors.

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events or locales, is purely coincidental and no slanderous intent is implied.